This Here's Tubed, River Chicken
We rambled from grief to TV and movies, with a minor detour into misadventure. Apparently Dash was in a shootout once and didn't even know until the cops told him. As always, Queernecks is fortunate and grateful to the folks who keep listening! If you have a crazy story, drop us a note at mailbag@queernecks.com! But make sure the names and places are changed or the statute of limitations is up ;)
We dedicate this episode to the queer and trans kids, faculty, and staff who are going back to the classroom after too short of a summer off to fully lick the wounds of the past year. Hang in there darlings; you're always just around the corner from the light.
chapters:
00:00 Introduction and Hosts
00:17 Summer Sleep Schedules
00:52 Health Alerts and Smartwatches
01:55 Shannon's Work Injury
03:05 Age and Family History
05:31 True Detective and Streaming Services
06:55 Walking at Night and Police Encounter
12:38 Worst Movies Ever
17:32 High School Memories and Substance Use
22:42 High School Memories and Substance Use
25:05 Cultural Hegemony and Decadence
27:42 Personal Experiences with Medication
32:37 Public Libraries: A Community Treasure
38:45 Appalachian Cuisine: Soup Beans and Cornbread
41:31 Challenges and Triumphs in Education
46:07 Conclusion and Social Media Shoutouts
Transcript
Welcome to Queer Next, the podcast that
puts the Yee Hall in y'all means hall.
2
:I'm your host, Beck, and I'm your host.
3
:Dash.
4
:Welcome to today's episode.
5
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: Did you
do that like summer thing where
6
:you got your sleep schedule all
7
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Oh yeah.
8
:I was going to bed at like nine or
10 o'clock with Shannon and sleeping
9
:literally till 10 30 every morning.
10
:yeah, I was sleeping glorious amounts.
11
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: You know what?
12
:I watched an episode of Good Hang
with Amy Poer, where she was talking
13
:to Dakota Johnson, who said that she
sleeps like 13, 14 hours at a night day.
14
:Whenever.
15
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: I only do
that when I don't have classes and shit.
16
:You know what I mean?
17
:This was my one summer
being paid like a teacher.
18
:I was getting paid all summer
to do absolutely jack shit, I
19
:was technically working two jobs
while I was sitting on my ass, so
20
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: See, that's
21
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: yeah.
22
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: I got
an old man style health alert
23
:from my watch just earlier.
24
:I went from my walk.
25
:and you know, I have, I have
had, I've not been super healthy.
26
:I've had some things going on
since around March or April.
27
:And, uh, back then I got a, do
you have an, uh, smartwatch?
28
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Shannon does
29
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:
They fucking perverts.
30
:do You remember back in the day when
you would have the sniffles or something
31
:and you would get on WebMD and it
would be like, well, you've either
32
:got seasonal allergies or some rare
33
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: right.
34
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:
smartwatch with, with a health
35
:on it or something is like that.
36
:But you wear it and it'll just
jump out at you sometimes.
37
:And so it come up back in March or
April and said like, your cardiac
38
:health is below average or something.
39
:something.
40
:It won't tell you that you're
unhealthy because it, it's
41
:not trying to diagnose you.
42
:And it stayed like that
until nine days ago when I.
43
:I took leave from work and I got back
from my walk and it gave me an alert
44
:and it was like, you've got a new trend
in your cardiac health and my resting
45
:heart rate is back down to a, a healthy
46
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318:
Oh, that's awesome.
47
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: you know?
48
:when the doctor tells you
to rest, kids do what they
49
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Yeah, Shanna's
learning that she, uh, should have taken a
50
:few more days off of work after her fall.
51
:She fell at work and hit her head really
bad and bruised her knee so badly.
52
:I think she chipped her kneecap
like, it's hurting so much.
53
:Yeah, I cracked it.
54
:Or, or something.
55
:'cause she's got a lot of pain around it.
56
:And,
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:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: possible.
58
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: when you
get pain, when you get a bruise
59
:on your shin like that, the, the
bruise will run down your leg.
60
:So she's got a whole purple leg where
she only hit like around the knee
61
:and stuff, but it looks gruesome.
62
:she had a concussion and now she's got
soreness in her neck and shoulders.
63
:And I told her she might
even have whiplash, because
64
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: I mean,
it sounds like a fucked up fall.
65
:That's scary.
66
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: She, she's
got like a goose egg still on top of her
67
:head big yellow bruise on her forehead.
68
:She should have just taken a few more
days 'cause her knee is really hurting.
69
:And she's at work right now.
70
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: Jesus,
71
:I mean, I'm, so glad that she has
found work that like, you know,
72
:fills her up and is meaningful and
she's excited to do, because for the
73
:longest time up there, was outside her
74
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Yeah.
75
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:
but like, dang, you gotta
76
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Yeah.
77
:She's working like 50
hours a week right now.
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:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:
Well, she's young.
79
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Yeah.
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:She's your age.
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:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: Is she?
82
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: I feel very old.
83
:My birthday is on Monday
and I feel very old.
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:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:
You're not that much
85
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318:
Yeah, but it feels old.
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:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:
No, I know what you mean.
87
:I've been feeling ancient lately.
88
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: The
age of 47 is kind of mystical in
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:my family because several family
members have died at that age.
90
:And my mom was convinced
that she was gonna die at 47.
91
:She died at 69 and like two
weeks before she turned 70.
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:So she made it way past 47.
93
:but I'm turning 47 on Monday
and it kind of scares me.
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:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:
Well, and your mom was rocking
95
:a lifestyle that you don't,
96
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: yeah,
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:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: there
was some unhealthy habits in
98
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: but she wasn't
a diabetic and I am, and that's a big one.
99
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:
Yeah, and, and there's no.
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:no like, accurate way to measure
up what actually lends itself
101
:to longer life in the moment.
102
:Centuries later, they'll, they'll
do some longitudinal study on, on
103
:what it actually took, and they'll,
hindsight will be what it takes.
104
:But now it's really not, I don't wanna
say unhealthy because I think people all
105
:have all kinds of reasons for thinking
this way, but maybe not the best use
106
:of our time all the time to try to be
guessing how many years we've got left.
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:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318:
Yeah, my dad bought a new truck
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:like a month before he died.
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:He with a lease on it.
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:So he was planning on living a long life
111
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: my uncle
Jerry did the exact same thing.
112
:His, his brother Jimmy had passed
not long before this, and he had.
113
:just like, you know, your mom had.
114
:And that kind of come for him.
115
:And he tried to sober, up in
the last there, and he did
116
:his chemotherapy and stuff.
117
:And his
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:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: I.
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:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: my uncle
Jerry was like, that's fucking stupid.
120
:I, if I, if they told me that I would
just sit on the front porch and drink
121
:and smoke until I died, is what he did.
122
:but he had just bought a truck too.
123
:And so that was something.
124
:And my mom still drives that
truck and she named it Jerry.
125
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: my dad's
girlfriend at the time was living
126
:in my mom's house and she arranged
for the truck to get returned.
127
:I don't know what went down with that.
128
:it took me six months to get her out of
the house and get her out of the affairs
129
:until I was able to take stuff over.
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:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:
Some people, man,
131
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: yeah,
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:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: I mean, okay,
on the one hand maybe they, maybe she
133
:loved him and maybe that was real.
134
:But also just stay in your
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:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: yeah, yeah.
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:When I went in to see him in the
hospital, um, after he'd had his
137
:stroke, I just wanted to hold
his hand and talk to him, and she
138
:wouldn't leave us alone in the room.
139
:And she was doing stuff like
playing Christian music.
140
:He would have died listening to Christian.
141
:He was country music through and through.
142
:That's all he listened to.
143
:And he would've been so annoyed with
the Christian rock that she was playing.
144
:He would've hated it.
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:She didn't even know him
well enough to know that.
146
:So how could she really love him?
147
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: I
recently watched, the fourth
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:season of True Detective.
149
:I know you're not much of a TV person,
but like now that I have while I'm
150
:not blacking out every day, and
my brain is clearing a little bit.
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:I've been watching movies and
TV and stuff and, I loved it.
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:highly recommend, like totally
redeemed seasons two and three,
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:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318:
Which platform is it on?
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:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:
It's on, uh, max,
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:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: the,
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:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: they call
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:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318:
that's the one I don't have.
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:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: Um,
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:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: I have, okay.
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:I have, I have Paramount, I have
Peacock, I have Netflix, I have Hulu.
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:I don't have Max.
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:That's the one I don't have.
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:Yeah.
164
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: I'm, I'm in a,
sort of a poly lifestyle with streaming
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:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Understood.
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:Understood.
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:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: But
I've been going for a lot of
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:walks too, and I, remember.
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:Well first, so today we're recording
on August 27th, listeners, and that is
170
:the day that my brother was killed, um,
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:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: know.
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:I'm so sorry.
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:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: I, that's
why I wanted to record I chose today.
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:because I'm always alone.
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:It's because it's, I have lived
alone for the past 10 years, since
176
:I left grad school, and it's always
at the beginning of the semester,
177
:so I can't take time or anything.
178
:it always does kind of fuck me up
mentally and emotionally as well.
179
:And this year it just happened
to be a little bit of an extreme
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:dollop of that already going on.
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:So this is the first year probably the
17 years since he died, that I have
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:been able to choose how to spend my day.
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:so I've been watching some Star Trek,
And I've also been trying to spend
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:some more time outside, but it's
starting to get dark here earlier.
185
:And I realized I had
never gone for a walk.
186
:In the dark yet since I got here,
. When I lived in Richmond and when I
187
:lived in Carbondale, I would always
walk around really late at night.
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:I would go home.
189
:I wouldn't even start walking until
like eight and I would walk until 11.
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:Sometimes.
191
:I had just gotten sober.
192
:So I was like, what the
fuck do I do with my time?
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:And you'd see weird shit doing that.
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:This one time I was walking around
in Richmond and the, I had my earbuds
195
:in, I saw the corner of my eye, the
flashing lights, the blue lights.
196
:And I was like, okay, what's going on?
197
:And I went to take my earbuds out
'cause I, and they pulled up like
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:they screeched up next to me.
199
:and I was like, oh, okay.
200
:And I went to take them out and
she jumped outta the car and put
201
:her hand on her gun and said, put
your hands where I can see 'em.
202
:like, holy shit.
203
:And so I was like, I can't hear
what you are saying though.
204
:if you want to communicate with me, these
things have gotta come outta my ears.
205
:And so she comes up and
like, pats me down and stuff.
206
:And then she lets me take the, earbuds
out and then she starts asking me really
207
:aggressively about why I'm out walking.
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:and um, just such a fuck.
209
:I'm an idiot and an asshole
and that's a bad combo.
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:have done this if I had
known what she suspected me
211
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: You are
neither of those things, by the way.
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:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: well,
when presented with authority,
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:sometimes I turn into my mother.
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:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Understood.
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:Under.
216
:Understood.
217
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: So, and then
by this point, like two more cars have
218
:come up and they box me in and these
guys are getting out and flanking me.
219
:And I was like, something is very wrong.
220
:I started to get sweaty and shaky.
221
:And she goes, she goes like,
what are you, what are you doing?
222
:And I was like, I'm walking.
223
:And she goes, do you always
go out walking late at night?
224
:And I was like, it sound really bad.
225
:And she was like, uh, which
direction did you come from?
226
:And so I pointed down whereby I lived,
I had just walked outta my house And she
227
:was like, have you seen anything strange?
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:And I was like, now that you mention
it, a really, let's say animated
229
:looking fellow walked past me.
230
:He was blasting music really loud
from a speaker, strapped on his
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:back and he looked like Encino man.
232
:have you seen
233
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318:
Yeah, many times.
234
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: when Brenda
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:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Yeah.
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:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: up?
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:That's.
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:Like half dressed.
239
:He had all of his, it looked
like, all like all of his clothes.
240
:Anyway, on his back, he looked like
he was leaving somewhere she was
241
:like, okay, which way did he go?
242
:And I was like, he went down that way
and the two cops were with her peel
243
:off and she was like, I feel like I
should explain what just happened.
244
:I was like, please fucking do.
245
:And she said someone called in a shooting
and gave us your physical description.
246
:apparently I had walked right past
it had my earbuds in and didn't
247
:know the fucking shooting was going
248
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Good Lord.
249
:This is why you don't wear
your earbuds at night.
250
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: know that
now so, I guess somebody saw it and
251
:I'm walking away, all calm and collected
and they reported me as the shooter.
252
:But Thank God she was paying attention
because them other guys, they
253
:were on alert because they thought
that I was armed and dangerous.
254
:And I was acting weird because
they were acting weird.
255
:And it made me weirder
256
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: you
asked if I had seen Encino.
257
:Man, I am very up to date
on my poly shore movies.
258
:I have seen Biodome many times.
259
:Yeah.
260
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: I love
261
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: seen son-in-law,
262
:, dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:
In the Army now might be my
263
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: right?
264
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: poly
Shore movie and I have no idea.
265
:I maybe it was just, I think everyone
for, I think for everyone, they
266
:experienced poly shore at a moment in
267
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Yeah.
268
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:
and in the Army now it was
269
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Yeah.
270
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: also, Lori
Petty is in that movie, so smoking
271
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Yeah.
272
:She's in a league of their own too.
273
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:
She's in League of their own.
274
:She's in, think her career
started with Point Break.
275
:Do you know the story of Lori Petty's
276
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: no,
277
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:
have you seen Point
278
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: no.
279
:But I know it's a surfer movie
with, uh, Patrick Swayze.
280
:Right.
281
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: Yep.
282
:He's a, he plays a surfer in it.
283
:And, Keanu Reeves plays an FBI agent,
I think, or a TFI don't remember what,
284
:but some, something, some, agency.
285
:And he's infiltrating this surfer gang
that they suspect are, robbing banks and
286
:Lori Petty plays, Keanu's love interest.
287
:And they're, they're so good together.
288
:They have such great chemistry.
289
:But, Katherine Bigelow is the
person who, directed, I don't know
290
:if she wrote, and they were screen
testing actresses to play this role.
291
:And everybody hated Lori Petty,
except for Katherine Bigelow.
292
:And she was like, I, I know this
is what I picture her saying.
293
:Anyway.
294
:She's like, I know it's the nineties and
we're all like really into our misogyny
295
:and our Cindy Crawfords and stuff needing
to be on screen, but this is what we call
296
:acting, this is what we call chemistry.
297
:and they're also the kind of odd
pairing that you would see in real life.
298
:Like two kind of unconventionally,
but still attractive
299
:people who find each other.
300
:my God, there was a fucking
remake of point break.
301
:Oh, please tell me.
302
:This is not the inferior
Chris . No, it's not.
303
:I don't know who these
people are actually.
304
:This might be an
international film anyway.
305
:Point break in 91 is the good one.
306
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Yeah,
307
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:
love Katherine Bigelow.
308
:Do you know who she was married to?
309
:Quentin Fucking
310
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: no way.
311
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: The best thing
Quentin Tarantino ever did for this
312
:world was give us Catherine Bigelow.
313
:It's not entirely true.
314
:He used to be able to
turn out a good film.
315
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: I've never
been able to sit through one all the
316
:way through, so I couldn't tell you.
317
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: You
gotta go way back to find one that
318
:I remember where he started to
lose me was at glorious bastards.
319
:I was, I actually sat through, it
must've been 98% of that movie,
320
:and it got to what I think was
the end scene in a normal film.
321
:This would've been something like the
denouement And it was so drawn out
322
:and, um, this character is bloviating
in a bar, and it's like, you can
323
:hear Quentin Tarantino speaking
through this character's dialogue.
324
:And I just, I remember I was just like,
oh my God, I can't fucking take this.
325
:So I never did finish the movie.
326
:There's probably five minutes of
that movie left that I didn't see.
327
:I was like, what?
328
:I can't do this.
329
:And why, why am I doing this?
330
:This isn't important cinema.
331
:I don't need Quentin Tarantino to
explain to me that the Nazis were bad.
332
:Maybe some folks today
could use a little refresher
333
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Right.
334
:What's the worst movie you've ever seen?
335
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: Ooh, battlefield
336
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Oh, yeah,
337
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: Yes.
338
:Do you know this movie?
339
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318:
I've not seen it.
340
:No.
341
:I've heard of it, but I've not seen it.
342
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:
it's just, um, propaganda.
343
:there's a lot of movies out there that
are religious propaganda or whatever,
344
:you know, this one is the story of
weirdo alien thing that they have.
345
:it could have been actually a
really fun story, but it was
346
:poorly made and it was kind of a,
I don't know how to describe it.
347
:every single frame of the
film is at a Dutch angle.
348
:Ryan Murphy is really fond of these in
American horror stories, especially the
349
:early seasons of American Horror Story.
350
:But I think he uses
them fairly judiciously.
351
:It's where the screen is on a
tilt like this, and it signifies.
352
:Something's askew, something's off.
353
:We're we're where there's danger afoot.
354
:And so every single frame of
Battlefield Earth does this,
355
:but it flip flops like this.
356
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Ah.
357
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: I recommend
watching this movie, but it is terrible.
358
:It's objectively terrible.
359
:And John Travolta plays
this alien, zou person.
360
:Eric and I watched this movie together.
361
:And have you ever laughed so hard?
362
:You almost died.
363
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318:
Yes, but not at a movie.
364
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: only
happened to me a couple times.
365
:and this is the only one I can actually
pinpoint, but I did, I laughed so hard
366
:that my lungs would no longer actually
draw air, and my heart it stopped.
367
:I had to roll out of the recliner
and lie face down in the floor
368
:There's it, and I'm not the only
one who's, who's felt that way about
369
:it because this clip is on YouTube.
370
:So go look it up and listeners
go Look up this clip.
371
:Just look up Battlefield Earth.
372
:Do you want lunch?
373
:And you will know exactly what I mean.
374
:It's, it's a torture scene with
John Travolta's character the people
375
:who represent the Scientologists
human slaves or whatever.
376
:he's got one of them and he's trying to
torture them he's threatening the guy
377
:with feeding him a dead rat of some kind.
378
:but it's on a Dutch angle.
379
:He's leaning over him in this like
dentist chair and the dude he's
380
:in like, s and m gear and Travolta
is overacting in this whole thing.
381
:He's, it's just camp is all get
out and he holds up a rubber.
382
:Really shitty looking.
383
:rat and he delivers a line.
384
:I can't do it.
385
:It's something like, he go,
he goes, do you want lunch?
386
:It's supposed to be scary,
but we were not ready.
387
:And so we both, and we, we
laughed harder and harder at how
388
:hard the other one was laughing.
389
:I was actually scared I
wasn't gonna survive that.
390
:You name yours like your worst movie
391
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318:
big John Malkovich.
392
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:
Such a strong opinion.
393
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: I was so
angry when I got done watching that
394
:movie that I had wasted an hour and 45
minutes of my life watching that drl,
395
:that I am still pissed about it to this.
396
:It's been like 20 years
since I watched that movie,
397
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: Yeah.
398
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: and I'm
still pissed about it to this day.
399
:It was so bad.
400
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:
Movie's a real moment in time.
401
:I still don't feel like
I understand what was
402
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Yeah,
403
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: and I
can't say that I enjoyed any of it.
404
:will say that I appreciate,
its its technique, its craft.
405
:as a form of, technical cinema, There's
a lot of, skill displayed in, in like
406
:its production, but the story, I don't
know what it's trying to tell me.
407
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: it was stupid.
408
:It was very stupid.
409
:It makes me mad.
410
:It was so stupid.
411
:I like, don't like John Malkovich
anymore because of that movie.
412
:Like I have an internal bias against him.
413
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: That's
414
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Yeah.
415
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: Yeah, man.
416
:A, a, a bad enough experience
can sour you on a, on an actor?
417
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Like Alan
Cummings, I don't like him because of
418
:the movie Circle of Friends, which is
probably one of his very first movies.
419
:He plays a rapy kind of creep.
420
:mini driver and, Chris, the
guy that played ba uh, Robin,
421
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: Chris
422
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Yes.
423
:they're,
424
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: o
425
:I remember a movie that the
first time I experienced a
426
:movie that I couldn't handle.
427
:I'm just, I'm a very sensitive boy.
428
:I cry at movies and I always
have for a while there, we rented
429
:movies a lot, all the time.
430
:they rented a movie, dead Man
Walkin, with Susan Sarandon.
431
:And, . Penn is in this movie,
and I couldn't, I had to
432
:leave up in the opening.
433
:Maybe 10 minutes.
434
:It was too intense and sad and
I was crying so hard I couldn't
435
:see, and I was trying to hide it.
436
:I've always been really embarrassed
about the fact that I cry at movies too.
437
:And so I was sitting back in
the kitchen part of the trailer,
438
:watching over the couch trying to
hide the fact that I was crying.
439
:Finally, I was like, I
keep fucking do this.
440
:I have to leave, and I have
hated Sean Penn ever since then.
441
:Haven't, haven't enjoyed
watching him or watched him in
442
:anything on purpose since then.
443
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: It is so
funny how your mind will do that.
444
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:
Yeah, they're like, mines.
445
:They got no business being as powerful
as they are because they are just stupid
446
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Yeah, agreed.
447
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: well, let's give
this wheel, what have you, a spin and see
448
:Oh, no.
449
:Landed on an inebriation.
450
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Inebriation.
451
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: Lord, isn't
this appropriate to, the day David died?
452
:that started.
453
:I'm not gonna say early.
454
:There are people who had started
their journeys with substances
455
:way earlier than we did.
456
:We started in our early teens.
457
:but looking back, it's still a red flag.
458
:I think.
459
:I think our generation was kind of
like that with substances though.
460
:Like we were, we down to get up to stuff.
461
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Yeah, I
know there were people smoking weed
462
:as early as eighth grade in my class.
463
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: Yeah.
464
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Yeah.
465
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: dude in my, my
eighth grade class, he was in my grade.
466
:would open his social studies book
and there would be a half smoked joint
467
:in there and it would just smell, the
whole class would smell up like resin.
468
:When he opened it
469
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Wow.
470
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: he
would deal out of the bathroom.
471
:I think he's a fucking cough now.
472
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Of course.
473
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: I know.
474
:I was thinking about that recently too.
475
:Like all people who all became cops,
uh, that I went to school with,
476
:were the, were the shitty kids.
477
:They were the kids that were,
and they still are shitty
478
:because they keep getting caught.
479
:This makes the papers and everything.
480
:They're, they're selling drugs
and they're pimping girls
481
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Yeah, the, the
guys that became cops from my school ended
482
:up becoming prison guards, which, which
is its own unique kind of cop, you know?
483
:I think you have to be a very
special person to be a prison guard.
484
:like one guy he got, he got, a bunch
of guys in trouble when we were in
485
:high school because they pissed in
his water bottle bottle in gym class.
486
:And he took a drink of it and like
five people got suspended over that.
487
:and now he's a prison guard.
488
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:
Uh, David got suspended.
489
:I don't even remember why, but they
made a website uh, which thinking
490
:back, that's actually pretty
impressive in this would've been 94.
491
:he and a friend made a website
that was just kind of making
492
:fun of the other kids in school.
493
:It would make lists of like, you
know, suck up or, I don't know,
494
:they were more offensive ones.
495
:I'm sure there was something about like
sluts or something on it, like just
496
:categorizing or making fun of kids.
497
:And it was a satire, it was act, it
actually grew into a newspaper, a full on.
498
:They would print it out and put it
in the lockers of the kids at school,
499
:and this is what got them caught.
500
:so thinking back, I'm like, that
was actually really creative
501
:and demonstrating, some pretty
specific skills for kids who
502
:weren't taught that kind of thing.
503
:but yeah, they were suspended.
504
:Well, he got suspended for it.
505
:His friend did not get suspended for it.
506
:His friend was in the, 13 year club.
507
:They never got in trouble.
508
:The 13 year club kids,
509
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318:
what does that mean?
510
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: this was a pre-K
through 12 school we transferred into it.
511
:So we were
512
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: I see.
513
:I was, I was an outsider as well.
514
:Yeah.
515
:Yep.
516
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:
So I wasn't bull.
517
:I mean, they weren't nice to
us, but they don't know what
518
:I was dealing with at Jellico.
519
:they were like fluffy, soft little
kittens when they would try to be mean
520
:to me, And they would call me stuff
that actually was kind of badass, right?
521
:They would call me like a devil
worshiper or a demon And I was like,
522
:that's, I don't mind that at all.
523
:They were not very good at being bullies.
524
:They were no boy titties,
525
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Right.
526
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: And I was like,
need to study at the feet of the folks.
527
:I just moved here from.
528
:They, it wasn't even worth writing angsty
poetry about, I just went on with my life.
529
:But if you ever got into something with
a popular kid, you were in serious shit.
530
:You were gonna take all of the, or
with, I say popular, there were 13
531
:year club people that were not popular.
532
:And I'm sure that they weren't
immune as well, but they was this
533
:like core cohort of 13 year kids.
534
:Like their last names were on
certain buildings and shit.
535
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Yeah,
536
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: So we'd go out
partying with them and we would always
537
:go to the places, to their houses.
538
:'cause they kind of knew this too.
539
:And they knew that they were above
the law and their parents, they
540
:always owned cabins and stuff out
on the mountains or in the hollers.
541
:And so that's where the parties would be.
542
:And we knew that we
were untouchable there.
543
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Yeah, I did
get invited to the cool kid stuff.
544
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: I
technically was invited because
545
:my brother became a cool kid.
546
:He was so goddamn charismatic and
gregarious that he became one of
547
:the, the princes of that fucking
school shortly after we moved there.
548
:After we transferred there
and he stayed a popular kid.
549
:And I think being a popular kid was
one of the things that fucked him up.
550
:' cause he wasn't any different than me.
551
:None of us had the skills to be popular.
552
:None of us had the skills to have friends.
553
:And so he, he transfers somewhere
and he happens to be six foot three
554
:in the eighth grade and gorgeous.
555
:And he becomes a God.
556
:They fucking worshiped him,
557
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: my brother and
sister both dropped outta high school, and
558
:I was the only one that, like my sister
was smart and got good grades, but she
559
:didn't care and ended up dropping out
to get married and, she ended up going
560
:to college and got a, a two year degree.
561
:but I was the only one
that finished school.
562
:I was the only one that
cared about my grades.
563
:I got kicked out of
National Honors Society.
564
:I'm still more proud of
that than getting into it.
565
:Um,
566
:it took a lot more effort to get
kicked out than it did to, get included
567
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: You know,
I'm thinking about like the first
568
:time I got drunk or the first time
I smoked pot or something like that.
569
:And I, in high school
I was a very good kid.
570
:I did not really get up
to shit in high school.
571
:Only once or twice, I do something.
572
:I mean, I was using substances, I
was doing that, but I was so careful
573
:it was, it like barely counted.
574
:And a lot of times I would do it just
so that I could keep an eye on David.
575
:But I remember specifically like
really hating the sensation.
576
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Wow.
577
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:
Especially of weed.
578
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Yeah.
579
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: but I
think the first time it might have
580
:been like oregano or pocket lin or
581
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Right.
582
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:
because me super sick.
583
:I was at a basketball game with my parents
and I had to, I was just in the bathroom
584
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: I was
also went to a ba, I was at a
585
:basketball game and we left.
586
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: Why did the
shit always go down at the basketball
587
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Well, so it was,
there was a dance after the basketball
588
:game, so we snuck out in the fourth
quarter and went over to the high school
589
:baseball field and we smoked a joint
and then we came back for the dance.
590
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: Yeah,
there was always a dance after
591
:the football games and the
592
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Yep,
593
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: honestly,
teachers doing the Lord's work,
594
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: for real.
595
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: chaperones.
596
:They just poured their hearts
into giving us experiences.
597
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: My high
school now has an AstroTurf football
598
:field for the, for the team, so, yeah.
599
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:
I don't know anything about
600
:what my high school's up to.
601
:Once in a while I'll, like, I'll look
people up on Facebook or something
602
:that when I went to high school with,
I don't know why I haven't done it
603
:in a long time, but I know that there
was a period in time there where the
604
:substances got kind of bad At my high
school kids were drinking at school.
605
:A lot of them were.
606
:There was one kid who would wake up and
drink a fifth of vodka before coming to
607
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: That's what
my brother got kicked outta school for
608
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: Yeah.
609
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: drunk at school.
610
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: I drank
peach s snaps at school one day.
611
:Um, and we got in pretty
serious trouble for it.
612
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: brother would
go out to his car at lunch and drink a
613
:case of hot beer and go back into class.
614
:Yeah,
615
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: ooh,
616
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: it was never,
he always did everything to extremes like
617
:he would make baked spaghetti and put a
whole pound of cheese on top of it, or he
618
:would order a pizza and get crust, double
sauce, double cheese, double pepperoni.
619
:Like everything the boy did.
620
:He did to excess.
621
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:
that's that like, 'cause I, I,
622
:my brother was the same way.
623
:and you know, they say that
Hunter s Thompson was like that.
624
:He would go into a restaurant
and order everything on the
625
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Oh wow.
626
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:
but he didn't eat it.
627
:didn't eat it all.
628
:He, it all went to waste.
629
:It was, he was performing
decadence in a way.
630
:And I remember my David Warship,
hunter s Thompson, he actually, one
631
:of the things I got back from Iraq.
632
:his stuff was a collection of fear
and loathing on the campaign trail,
633
:which is, the, him following George
McGovern on the, uh, 72 campaign
634
:trail like that, the 72 election.
635
:David really idolized Hunter s Thompson
I don't know, do you think rich kids,
636
:fetishize, decadence the way poor kids do?
637
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318:
I don't think so.
638
:because it's nothing to them to go
spend $15 every day at, at, Starbucks,
639
:you know, or have the, the $40 Tumblr,
you know, it's nothing to drop money
640
:on name brands and things like that.
641
:My lecture today was about
cultural hegemony, and this is
642
:just right in there with that.
643
:Right.
644
:the idea that there's in
groups and out groups, it's
645
:funny that this would come up.
646
:But yeah, the, I think rich kids
have a lot more, ' cause money is
647
:the source of a lot of that, of the
being in the ed group and the out
648
:group, especially in American culture.
649
:cause you have to wear certain brands
and you have to have a certain phone
650
:and you have to drive a certain
car and have the right laptop and,
651
:you know, all of those things.
652
:yeah.
653
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: I think the, the
decadence thing, Thompson was performing
654
:a, a thing that he wasn't necessarily,
actually, he was selling something.
655
:He wasn't buying.
656
:He w he would order every drink on the
menu, but only drink a few of them.
657
:the kids who idolized that
didn't know that they were
658
:actually imbibing everything.
659
:And I watched people do this, like,
just, I'm going to get all the cocaine in
660
:the world and do it all tonight because
that's something Patrick Bateman would do.
661
:It's like you, there's something
wrong with who you're idolizing and
662
:there's something wrong with how
you're choosing to perform that.
663
:There were times when
inebriation was not evil, though.
664
:I think that people with experiences
like ours are always tempted to
665
:come down on the side of like,
inebriation is bad or these experiences
666
:destined to go a certain way.
667
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: But then
I think of my wife who did, ketamine
668
:therapy, you know what I mean?
669
:She did it in a controlled, she
did it, every week for two years.
670
:This is how long that her trial lasted.
671
:and it really changed her from a
person that cried every single day to
672
:a person that was happy and relaxed.
673
:And she still has anxiety and
things like that, but it's not
674
:anything like it used to be.
675
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: she was, she
was going through it there for, for years.
676
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: yeah.
677
:Yeah,
678
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: that helped
679
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: yeah.
680
:And so there's so many good
things that, but we have such a,
681
:a fear and such a, I don't know,
what's the word I'm looking for?
682
:Okay.
683
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:
toxic relationship
684
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318:
That's exactly right.
685
:Yeah, because it can do so much
good, but it can do so much damage
686
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: and,
and those are social issues.
687
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Addiction is
really rife when it comes to people in
688
:poverty because they have nothing to lose.
689
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: And I,
'cause I remember working as a server
690
:in high school and I was a closer
and, I would, have to get home at
691
:11:00 PM and then get up at five.
692
:And when you're 16 you
can do that for a while.
693
:But I was tired.
694
:And at the Pizza Hut, I
worked at other servers.
695
:They were taken, was it Ativan?
696
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Probably
Ativan, calms you down, makes
697
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: no.
698
:Well, yes, but it was like
the, the weight loss version.
699
:So it was like, it
700
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: A.
701
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:
basically Aex, right?
702
:Yeah.
703
:they were taking that stuff and they
were like, yeah, it keeps me awake.
704
:And so I did do that some, but
it again, it made me so sick.
705
:I, I didn't do it again.
706
:' cause I was.
707
:Kind of like experiencing not to make
light of something that kills people.
708
:But I have overdosed several times and
there have been times when it did involve
709
:taking a substance for the first time.
710
:'cause I didn't know how much to take
happened the first time I took Xanax too.
711
:Oh my god.
712
:people are gonna listen to this.
713
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318:
Hey, we've lived lives.
714
:You know what I mean?
715
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: We,
716
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: tried Aex.
717
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: citizen.
718
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Aex because when
I was 16, my mom sent me to a doctor that
719
:turned out to be a pill mill doctor, and
720
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: I've been
721
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: they, they
put me on Aex of Finfin, they put me
722
:on Finfin, so that I would lose weight.
723
:And so here I was 16 popping speed.
724
:I cleaned my mom's trailer from top to Bo.
725
:I literally took a toothbrush
to the sink, like I remember.
726
:Yeah, I had so much energy.
727
:It was wild.
728
:I lost weight for sure.
729
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: I bet.
730
:But at a, at a formative age,
731
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: yeah,
732
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: an
age where your brain's not
733
:done cooking yet, that can
734
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: that
could have really fucked me up.
735
:But luckily I was I was not taken in by
736
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: so,
737
:and
738
:I think I've mentioned
my, nonverbal period.
739
:and my parents, they tried to get help,
but they wound up, but they didn't
740
:have the kind of insurance that could
really afford, mental health care.
741
:So they found this dude up in
Lexington who has since been, he's
742
:no longer allowed to practice.
743
:He
744
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Oh wow.
745
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: he was.
746
:I, and he had, so it,
it, it was really weird.
747
:He talked to me for 15 minutes and
he diagnosed me with schizophrenia.
748
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: wow.
749
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:
Which I do not have.
750
:And,
751
:nothing.
752
:I said, because I've,
I've gone back and forth.
753
:I was like, what did I say that
could have him that impression.
754
:And so my parents didn't
know any better at the time.
755
:They caught on pretty quick because
they were paying attention and they
756
:listened to me and they were not idiots.
757
:They just didn't know what
he was saying at first.
758
:he put me on Risperidol, which is
an antipsychotic uh, if you take
759
:an anti-psychotic and you are not
psychotic, it made me psychotic.
760
:I was nuttier than squirrel shit for the
whole time I was taking that medication.
761
:it was terrifying.
762
:And I remember like talking to
my mom about it afterwards, I was
763
:like, I don't think this is right.
764
:Something's wrong.
765
:We, this needs to stop.
766
:And she was like, just
stop fucking taking it.
767
:She didn't even call him, which
I, I don't think you should do.
768
:I don't recommend just stopping
a, psychiatric medication.
769
:Definitely work with your doctor.
770
:But she was like, no, fuck him.
771
:I can still remember the things
I saw and heard on that shit.
772
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: That's wild.
773
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: Not a kind of
inebriation I would recommend to anybody.
774
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318:
first time you got drunk?
775
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: uh, I
guess there's a lot of different
776
:shades of drunk, but the first time
I did get an inebriated on alcohol,
777
:I think I was probably in the
eighth grade, eighth or ninth grade.
778
:it was easy to get alcohol for
us because it was bootleggers
779
:and so bootleggers don't card.
780
:It was a dry county and I got
a 40 ounce of malt liquor.
781
:It was blue.
782
:I don't remember what the
stuff was, but it was like some
783
:Hawaiian coconut flavored shit.
784
:And I kept that for.
785
:It was like weeks and I would
like pour out into the cap
786
:and, and drink it that way.
787
:And it was like a long time before I even
had enough for it to actually affect me.
788
:But one day I did, and it scared me
because I stood up and I was dizzy
789
:and I was like, oh God, I'm drunk.
790
:And I immediately felt so guilty.
791
:I felt like I was, this is during
my religious period, I felt like
792
:I was going to hell immediately.
793
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Well,
'cause they tell you that you are,
794
:that if you do any kind of sins,
they tell you some really fucked
795
:up shit when it comes to all that.
796
:That if you don't, if you sin, you're
gonna go be baptized at a lake of fire.
797
:And that's really crazy
to tell little kids.
798
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: You
know, I didn't get that far
799
:into actual organized religion.
800
:by the time I started to get my,
because it was just OCD, I had
801
:created my own vision of what was
gonna happen to me if I sinned.
802
:it left the, it departed from Christianity
a long time ago because I wasn't actually
803
:attending church, but I needed, I had a,
obsession with, I guess, karmic punishment
804
:or something, because I felt bad.
805
:I felt like I was doing evil all the time.
806
:I was sinning because I knew I was not
a girl and I knew something was wrong,
807
:and so I had to in invent a kind of
hell, but I don't, so I don't know what
808
:the act, what they actually told people.
809
:It all sounds so metal.
810
:They'll be trying to scare you, and
they're like, it's a lake of fire.
811
:And I'm like, oh, badass.
812
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Radical dude
813
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: Oh man.
814
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: the.
815
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: what were the.
816
:What were the, um, I don't
know what you would call those.
817
:Did people say like Cowabunga
and shit when you were in
818
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Oh yeah.
819
:Oh yeah.
820
:I found a, a, when I was cleaning out
mom's house, I found the most random stuff
821
:and I found, um, a, an autograph book that
it had questions in it, in the autographs.
822
:I made my, my grandmother sign in
to my birthday party when I was 12,
823
:which that was, you know, the good
adjunct in me being early trained.
824
:but there was one of the
questions that asked me what was
825
:my favorite song at the time.
826
:You'll never guess
827
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: What was it?
828
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318:
doing the Bartman.
829
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: Oh, see,
that's one of those media that passed
830
:me by because I wasn't allowed to watch,
831
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: It's, it was
the Bart Simpson song doing the Bartman.
832
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: I think
I have heard it since then, but
833
:yeah, there's a lot of blind spots
in, in my pop culture knowledge
834
:that I'm trying to fill in as I get
835
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Yeah.
836
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: Well,
man, we had been talking maybe it's
837
:time to, to hear from our sponsor.
838
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Let's do it.
839
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: today's,
sponsor is the public library.
840
:Sure.
841
:Most everywhere has public libraries
for now at least, but not every region's
842
:libraries have the punk rock origins
of Appalachias, the book, women Riding
843
:Horses through Muds, snow and Mountains,
just to deliver stories to families who
844
:might never have seen a book otherwise.
845
:They brought possibility and
wonder in their satchels, but
846
:they're a noun for another segment.
847
:Someday.
848
:Today's public libraries
carry on that same spirit.
849
:The horses may be mostly gone, but the
mission's the same, bringing knowledge,
850
:joy, and community straight to the people.
851
:honey, it's not just dusty books anymore.
852
:They've got free wifi streaming
services, job search help, 3D printers,
853
:language learning apps, genealogy
resources, tax help, drag queen story
854
:hours and lifesaving air conditioning.
855
:In the dead of August, you'll see
neighbors swapping recipes in the
856
:cookbook aisle, queer kids finding
stories that finally sound like them, and
857
:somebody's papaw printing off directions
'cause he refuses to get a smartphone.
858
:But a library is just a building
full of minutiae without the
859
:dedicated service of the librarian.
860
:If libraries are water and near the
horse, then libraries are the magic
861
:that I've lost Track of this metaphor.
862
:Just know that librarians
are modern day saints.
863
:They'll help you print a resume, track
down your Memaw family records, find
864
:the perfect queer romance novel, or
gently shush that one guy who's been
865
:asleep in the armchair since 2005.
866
:They're walking encyclopedias,
tech support, community organizers
867
:and therapists rolled into one.
868
:And they'll do it all with love and
a smile, and usually for a salary
869
:more suited to Piggly wiggly bagger
than safeguard of civilization.
870
:And all of this is FREE free, like
free hot dogs at the car dealership,
871
:but with so much more dignity.
872
:So whether you need to escape the
heat, print out divorce papers,
873
:or just remember that you're part
of something bigger than yourself.
874
:Get yourself to the public library
proudly sponsoring queer Next.
875
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318:
I love the library.
876
:That's the best part of being in
academia is the access to the library.
877
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: And it's, it's
totally not weird to just hang out in the
878
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: No.
879
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: all the
880
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Yeah.
881
:It's my favorite place.
882
:Like I could gush about
the library forever.
883
:The local library in, uh, library
in Bowling Green, they have a
884
:library of, of things and you can
get like a, a, a wifi hotspot.
885
:you can get, uh, giant lawn games,
like giant checkers for your lawn.
886
:You can get
887
:pans.
888
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: oh,
889
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Yeah.
890
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: in
Carbondale, there was one, uh, that
891
:had, you could check out tools.
892
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Yeah.
893
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: here they
have, they're doing a cool thing now
894
:where you can check out a parking
permit for the national parks.
895
:you, the way that they, sort of offset the
cost of the parks here in Minnesota is pay
896
:for a parking pass to park for the day.
897
:It's like $7.
898
:people are not doing that
because sometimes $7 feels like
899
:seven fucking dollars this.
900
:I could get a, a Big Mac for
901
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Right.
902
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: So the
public library has some on retainer.
903
:They'll buy a yearly one and
you can just check 'em out
904
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: That's awesome.
905
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: I think
of public libraries as constantly
906
:trying to come up with ways to
bring just essential resources.
907
:The things that a free should have
access to and just what an incredible
908
:service and, and bunch of people.
909
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: During COVID, my
library was giving out COVID tests even.
910
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: Oh, hot
911
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Yeah.
912
:Like they just had a stack of them on
the wall, and you could go in and pick
913
:one up if you needed a COVID test.
914
:Amazing.
915
:my gay Little Heart loves the library.
916
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: Oh, you know
what, speaking of of books, we mentioned
917
:Demon Copperhead and somebody on YouTube
said that they wanted us to, to talk
918
:about it, and we chatted that both of
us have not read it since it came out.
919
:we would have to reread it, but
wouldn't it be funny if we did like
920
:a book club, like a queer next book
921
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318:
That would be fun.
922
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: and
that that could be our first book?
923
:cause I, I would like to read it again.
924
:I especially wanna pay attention to the,
response you're having to the ending.
925
:And I also wanna know if
you experience it that way.
926
:if you have a strong reaction
to a piece of media, it's
927
:worth revisiting unless it's
928
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318:
Being John Malkovich,
929
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: Or,
and, and unless it is a triggering
930
:media, do not do that to yourself.
931
:Just because Queernecks
said, I need to challenge
932
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: right?
933
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:
protect your peace
934
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Yeah.
935
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: It is sad to
think that public knowledge is so of
936
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: if
libraries were to be introduced to
937
:society now, they would never fly
that, that would be a communist plot
938
:and socialism and everything else.
939
:they wouldn't be allowed to exist
if, if they were to come out today.
940
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: I'm watching
the rhetoric so closely and, and
941
:looking for the hints, the gestures
to what it's gonna spread out to next.
942
:Because one day it'll be
libraries, it'll be public
943
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Right.
944
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: because
it's been the parks, it's been
945
:the healthcare, the doctors.
946
:It's been the universities and schools
947
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: It's crazy
to watch, but you know, they're not
948
:really thinking when they start burning
books and every one of those books are
949
:available by PDF download, you know,
950
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:
tossed my Kindle on,
951
:oh no, what am
952
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: not a book.
953
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: I mean,
have a ton of them because I have been
954
:collecting, but it wouldn't be weird
at all for somebody to be a reader but
955
:not own hardly any actual paperback
956
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Yeah,
I know a lot of people like that.
957
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: books.
958
:So how are they gonna burn a
959
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Right.
960
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: I was
reading an analysis of, of fascism
961
:lately and somebody, and they were
pointing out, or it was earlier
962
:today, they pointed out that.
963
:there is no model for this because
a post internet, post scarcity,
964
:post nuclear power fascist, develop,
whatever, you know, all those
965
:things we haven't seen it before.
966
:We're gonna be the first.
967
:kind of like with us, what we started
out talking about, like trying to guess
968
:how long we're gonna live it's very,
very good practice to learn from the
969
:past and to study the past and to,
and to look for how things came about.
970
:But it can be more of a descriptive
than a prescriptive because we could
971
:get bogged down into for things that
might not ever actually materialize
972
:and miss the thing that does happen.
973
:So we need to stay in the present as
974
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Right.
975
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: Even
if the present is horrifying.
976
:Did you bring a noun of
977
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: I did, I did.
978
:This is a good one.
979
:This.
980
:I always think they're a good one, right?
981
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:
Well, they all are.
982
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: All right, well,
welcome back y'all to another round of
983
:nouns of Appalachian interest, the part
of queer Next where we shine a porch
984
:light on the people, places, and things
that make Appalachia well, Appalachia.
985
:Now, today's noun isn't just
a noun, it's a marriage, a
986
:covenant, a domestic partnership,
blessed by pork fat, and Jesus.
987
:That's right.
988
:We're talking about soup,
beans, and cornbread.
989
:dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: Oh hell
990
:beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Let's
get, let's get this straight.
991
:We're not talking about just any beans.
992
:Do not, I repeat.
993
:Do not walk in here with your black
beans, your garbanzos, or God forbid,
994
:chickpeas, soup, beans, or pinto beans.
995
:Slow cooked with a ham hock until They're
so tender they can qualify for disability.
996
:They're the backbone of Appalachian food
pyramid, which if you're wondering, is
997
:just a triangle drawn in bacon grease
with cast iron written on all three sides.
998
:A cornbread.
999
:Cornbread is the biscuit's hotter,
slightly trashy cousin, the one
:
00:39:31,690 --> 00:39:34,690
who shows up at the church, potluck
with a plunging neckline, a jar
:
00:39:34,690 --> 00:39:36,280
of hot honey and zero shame.
:
00:39:36,280 --> 00:39:39,460
Cornbread is here to soak up the
soup, beans and the family gossip.
:
00:39:39,460 --> 00:39:41,710
Soup, beans and cornbread
are more than food.
:
00:39:41,740 --> 00:39:43,270
They're identity on a plate.
:
00:39:43,270 --> 00:39:46,540
They're what you ate when money was
tight, when the weather got mean, or
:
00:39:46,540 --> 00:39:49,300
when companies showed up uninvited
and you had to stretch dinner with
:
00:39:49,300 --> 00:39:51,070
a prayer and some pig knuckle.
:
00:39:51,070 --> 00:39:52,420
and let's review the etiquette.
:
00:39:52,420 --> 00:39:54,460
First, you sop you do not scoop.
:
00:39:54,460 --> 00:39:57,220
Number two, you eat with
a fork or your fingers.
:
00:39:57,220 --> 00:39:58,390
Spoons are for Yankees.
:
00:39:58,390 --> 00:40:02,350
And third, if somebody offers you a white
onion or to go with it, you say yes.
:
00:40:02,350 --> 00:40:03,820
If you say no, you're dead to me.
:
00:40:04,954 --> 00:40:06,874
So here's the soup, beans and cornbread.
:
00:40:06,874 --> 00:40:09,724
Simple, soulful, and guaranteed
to stick to your ribs longer
:
00:40:09,724 --> 00:40:10,834
than your last situation.
:
00:40:10,834 --> 00:40:11,254
Ship.
:
00:40:11,254 --> 00:40:13,414
-:of the all time great meals.
:
00:40:13,669 --> 00:40:15,184
I, we ate that.
:
00:40:15,214 --> 00:40:17,667
It was probably two meals a week growing
:
00:40:17,697 --> 00:40:19,302
-:ever have it with, uh, kielbasa?
:
00:40:19,362 --> 00:40:21,792
-:it with, like links or sausage of
:
00:40:21,792 --> 00:40:25,272
various kinds, but I don't know if it
was like Polish sausage or what kind it
:
00:40:25,272 --> 00:40:26,082
-:that's what that was.
:
00:40:26,082 --> 00:40:28,722
Whenever we had soup, beans and
cornbread, we'd always make kasa
:
00:40:28,722 --> 00:40:29,952
and, and sauerkraut with it.
:
00:40:29,952 --> 00:40:32,742
-:would, name things, different things.
:
00:40:32,742 --> 00:40:35,292
either if she thought we wouldn't
be able to wrap our heads around
:
00:40:35,292 --> 00:40:39,219
what it was, Or if it sounded gross,
she would call it something else.
:
00:40:39,219 --> 00:40:41,289
So she would feed us
salmon and call it chicken.
:
00:40:42,642 --> 00:40:44,082
We knew it wasn't chicken,
:
00:40:44,082 --> 00:40:44,862
-:It was river chicken.
:
00:40:44,862 --> 00:40:45,582
-::
00:40:45,582 --> 00:40:45,942
Yeah.
:
00:40:48,632 --> 00:40:52,481
And so she would make salmon patties,
but she called them chicken croquettes.
:
00:40:54,752 --> 00:40:56,162
This here is Tube Chicken.
:
00:41:03,466 --> 00:41:03,886
Man.
:
00:41:03,946 --> 00:41:05,716
I mean, being a parent must be so weird.
:
00:41:05,716 --> 00:41:08,146
My sister's doing it right now
and I don't know how she does.
:
00:41:08,146 --> 00:41:12,431
Her kids are great, but I'm sure there's
still days when it's like, did I do this?
:
00:41:12,566 --> 00:41:14,276
-:could never, all of my nieces
:
00:41:14,276 --> 00:41:15,596
and nephews are all grown now.
:
00:41:15,596 --> 00:41:19,196
The youngest one is 22 or
23, and the oldest one was
:
00:41:19,196 --> 00:41:21,746
born in 93, so she's 32 now.
:
00:41:21,746 --> 00:41:25,166
So there are, yeah, my
young, my oldest niece is 32.
:
00:41:25,226 --> 00:41:26,096
That's wild.
:
00:41:26,096 --> 00:41:27,716
-:my youngest cousin, is that
:
00:41:27,821 --> 00:41:28,481
-::
00:41:28,481 --> 00:41:29,441
-:She was born when I was
:
00:41:29,816 --> 00:41:30,296
-::
00:41:30,296 --> 00:41:31,916
I was 14 when Haley was born.
:
00:41:31,916 --> 00:41:34,496
-:thinking about, well, today, there
:
00:41:34,496 --> 00:41:36,626
was a, a tragedy at a school in
:
00:41:36,956 --> 00:41:37,646
-::
00:41:37,939 --> 00:41:41,269
-:it's shameful and we just, we just hope
:
00:41:41,269 --> 00:41:45,439
everybody who made it through gets help
and, and support and just fucked up.
:
00:41:45,439 --> 00:41:46,339
You shouldn't have to live in shit
:
00:41:46,459 --> 00:41:46,999
-::
00:41:46,999 --> 00:41:48,019
-:just shout out to the kids.
:
00:41:48,019 --> 00:41:48,739
Going back to school.
:
00:41:48,739 --> 00:41:53,539
Shout out to the teachers whose lives are
on hold for the next nine to 10 months.
:
00:41:53,539 --> 00:41:54,409
Shout out to the parents.
:
00:41:54,409 --> 00:41:55,009
Freaking out.
:
00:41:55,009 --> 00:41:56,329
Shout out to the queer kids.
:
00:41:56,329 --> 00:41:57,499
Stuffing it back, deep down.
:
00:41:57,499 --> 00:42:00,957
Maybe to go back into the
fray for another year.
:
00:42:01,137 --> 00:42:03,057
It'll be over soon and
you're gonna be great.
:
00:42:03,057 --> 00:42:05,037
-:trans kids in all four of my
:
00:42:05,037 --> 00:42:09,027
classes this semester, openly
trans, and I think it's beautiful.
:
00:42:09,297 --> 00:42:12,447
yeah, I I, I've never had one
in all four classes before.
:
00:42:12,507 --> 00:42:12,717
-::
00:42:13,017 --> 00:42:13,467
-::
00:42:13,467 --> 00:42:14,115
that I knew of.
:
00:42:14,307 --> 00:42:15,477
-:know, we were talking to Lee.
:
00:42:15,477 --> 00:42:18,777
I was thinking about this, like,
they don't seem scared to me.
:
00:42:18,777 --> 00:42:21,477
They're not hiding, not,
I mean, not entirely.
:
00:42:21,477 --> 00:42:23,697
Some of them, some of them are, and
they, and they have their reasons and
:
00:42:23,697 --> 00:42:27,477
they should, if it's what keeps them
safe, absolutely do what you have to do.
:
00:42:27,597 --> 00:42:31,557
I don't say this to, to like cast,
you know, shade on anybody who's not
:
00:42:31,557 --> 00:42:34,797
living their full truth yet, they're
really just living, they're living
:
00:42:34,797 --> 00:42:37,647
their lives and they're out here
and they're speaking their minds.
:
00:42:37,677 --> 00:42:38,787
They're saying their peace.
:
00:42:39,089 --> 00:42:44,339
And, you know, I had one when, when they
did the drag show, um, they were walking
:
00:42:44,339 --> 00:42:47,669
up to do their performance and they had
a little piece of paper with them and we
:
00:42:47,669 --> 00:42:50,699
had just gotten guidance from the system.
:
00:42:50,699 --> 00:42:54,569
about the, the pretend clutching
pearls that antisemitism,
:
00:42:54,569 --> 00:42:56,129
anytime anybody criticized
:
00:42:56,344 --> 00:42:56,694
-::
00:42:56,909 --> 00:43:00,089
-:had drawn a sign that said Free Palestine
:
00:43:00,089 --> 00:43:02,459
and worked it into their performance.
:
00:43:02,459 --> 00:43:05,519
they were like, they were hiding
it from me because I don't know,
:
00:43:05,579 --> 00:43:07,619
and maybe they were afraid I was
gonna tell 'em not to do it 'cause
:
00:43:07,619 --> 00:43:09,029
I hadn't really been here that long.
:
00:43:09,029 --> 00:43:10,679
that is, that's punk rock.
:
00:43:10,679 --> 00:43:15,389
And so the kids who are able to,
to be out and, and, and say what
:
00:43:15,449 --> 00:43:19,289
what they feel is on their hearts
to say, protect them at all costs.
:
00:43:19,289 --> 00:43:20,789
-:I did have one kid tell me this
:
00:43:20,789 --> 00:43:22,439
week that he doesn't use pronouns.
:
00:43:22,439 --> 00:43:22,919
-::
00:43:22,919 --> 00:43:23,939
There's always one that train
:
00:43:23,969 --> 00:43:24,359
-::
00:43:24,539 --> 00:43:24,809
-::
00:43:24,959 --> 00:43:26,369
-:you take a women's studies class
:
00:43:26,369 --> 00:43:28,109
just to be a contrary asshole?
:
00:43:28,109 --> 00:43:29,189
Like for real.
:
00:43:29,189 --> 00:43:29,999
-:I don't use pronouns.
:
00:43:30,029 --> 00:43:30,899
All right.
:
00:43:31,034 --> 00:43:32,054
-:so what am I supposed to do?
:
00:43:32,054 --> 00:43:33,644
Call you by your first name all semester.
:
00:43:33,644 --> 00:43:36,314
And he kind of shrugged his shoulders
at me and I said, you know, that
:
00:43:36,314 --> 00:43:37,934
just means like they, and he, right.
:
00:43:37,934 --> 00:43:40,304
And he was like, well, I guess
you can use, he, you know, it's
:
00:43:40,304 --> 00:43:44,954
like, yes, the fuck you do,
use pronouns, you little moron.
:
00:43:44,954 --> 00:43:47,091
Oh, but I said it nicer than that.
:
00:43:47,091 --> 00:43:47,361
So,
:
00:43:47,361 --> 00:43:49,311
-:he's already learned something from
:
00:43:49,376 --> 00:43:49,626
-::
00:43:49,701 --> 00:43:52,326
-:somebody, has been filling him up with
:
00:43:52,326 --> 00:43:57,426
fucking stupidness, sending him out into
the world to make him look like a fool.
:
00:43:57,426 --> 00:43:59,556
Like just repeating the stuff you hear.
:
00:43:59,556 --> 00:44:00,666
You are going to look
:
00:44:00,951 --> 00:44:01,521
-::
00:44:01,521 --> 00:44:02,121
Yep.
:
00:44:02,121 --> 00:44:03,021
Exactly.
:
00:44:03,021 --> 00:44:03,381
-::
00:44:03,381 --> 00:44:03,801
I swear.
:
00:44:03,801 --> 00:44:06,351
I think some of these conservatives
have humiliation kinks or
:
00:44:06,486 --> 00:44:08,346
-:he enjoyed today, the second lecture,
:
00:44:08,346 --> 00:44:11,496
and I was talking about privilege
and cultural hegemony and, I do
:
00:44:11,496 --> 00:44:14,646
a, like, the first couple of weeks
are, are focusing on the feminist
:
00:44:14,646 --> 00:44:16,266
movement and the history of all that.
:
00:44:16,266 --> 00:44:19,716
But I do a foundational concepts
lecture beforehand so that we can
:
00:44:19,716 --> 00:44:23,316
have a common vocabulary about things
like intersectionality and what
:
00:44:23,316 --> 00:44:27,576
institutions are and but they get a
whole serving full of, liberal bullshit.
:
00:44:27,576 --> 00:44:29,511
Um, and I love it.
:
00:44:29,961 --> 00:44:30,351
Yeah.
:
00:44:30,351 --> 00:44:32,571
So maybe he'll drop, I,
I hope maybe he drops.
:
00:44:32,631 --> 00:44:34,161
But maybe he'll stay and learn something.
:
00:44:34,161 --> 00:44:35,961
-:yeah, I hope he sticks it out.
:
00:44:36,021 --> 00:44:41,961
And I hope that even if he doesn't leave,
a fully 180 changed man or whatever,
:
00:44:41,961 --> 00:44:43,551
the things that you said are still in
:
00:44:43,596 --> 00:44:44,046
-::
00:44:44,046 --> 00:44:46,626
-:sometimes that shit can percolate
:
00:44:46,626 --> 00:44:49,543
for years, it'll come in handy one
:
00:44:49,708 --> 00:44:50,638
-::
00:44:50,743 --> 00:44:52,963
-:don't change unless they have the tools to
:
00:44:53,078 --> 00:44:53,428
-::
00:44:53,428 --> 00:44:53,488
Yeah.
:
00:44:53,488 --> 00:44:56,308
I try to make my, my space
a very welcoming place.
:
00:44:56,308 --> 00:44:58,998
when I introduce myself, I
say You can say she or her.
:
00:44:58,998 --> 00:45:00,168
You can use they if you want to.
:
00:45:00,168 --> 00:45:01,638
If it pisses a transpo off, call me.
:
00:45:01,638 --> 00:45:04,308
He, whatever makes them, you know,
whatever makes you feel good.
:
00:45:04,308 --> 00:45:06,588
I said, it doesn't really matter
to me one way or the other.
:
00:45:06,588 --> 00:45:08,178
I, that I identify as a problem.
:
00:45:08,178 --> 00:45:09,888
If people try to fuck with my friends,
:
00:45:09,888 --> 00:45:11,388
-:Identify as a problem.
:
00:45:11,388 --> 00:45:13,068
I'm a friend until I'm a foe,
:
00:45:14,508 --> 00:45:16,128
-:make me, don't make me go there.
:
00:45:16,158 --> 00:45:16,788
You know what I mean?
:
00:45:17,056 --> 00:45:18,286
it's not gonna end well for you.
:
00:45:18,286 --> 00:45:20,444
-:have a friend several times she
:
00:45:20,444 --> 00:45:23,384
has said to me like, do people
know what they're getting into?
:
00:45:23,384 --> 00:45:27,224
And they cross you because
you've got the meanest tongue.
:
00:45:27,224 --> 00:45:31,544
And, and I'll be nice, and I'll even mean,
you know, well, or whatever, but when it's
:
00:45:31,544 --> 00:45:36,994
time to get to the point, I guess I have a
way, and there have been times when folks
:
00:45:36,994 --> 00:45:40,594
I know have regretted stepping into me,
:
00:45:41,286 --> 00:45:41,576
-::
00:45:41,576 --> 00:45:42,576
They should regret it.
:
00:45:42,576 --> 00:45:43,416
-:not so much here.
:
00:45:43,416 --> 00:45:46,107
People, they, well, they're all
Let's just say they don't have the,
:
00:45:46,107 --> 00:45:47,457
the courage of their convictions
:
00:45:47,552 --> 00:45:47,902
-::
00:45:48,045 --> 00:45:50,475
-:to talk a lot out of earshot or let
:
00:45:50,475 --> 00:45:51,945
somebody else do the talking for 'em.
:
00:45:51,945 --> 00:45:53,685
-:told me this week that, um, she's
:
00:45:53,685 --> 00:45:55,365
gonna push for me to get a third year.
:
00:45:55,365 --> 00:45:55,785
So
:
00:45:55,800 --> 00:45:56,130
-::
00:45:56,475 --> 00:45:58,155
-:yeah, that would be fantastic.
:
00:45:58,415 --> 00:45:58,765
-::
00:45:58,995 --> 00:46:02,145
-:salary is what I'm really excited about.
:
00:46:07,195 --> 00:46:09,918
-:for hanging out with us for another week.
:
00:46:09,918 --> 00:46:10,848
-:While we rambled along,
:
00:46:10,968 --> 00:46:11,478
-::
00:46:11,478 --> 00:46:14,898
As we do, again, shout out to
those embarking on the school year
:
00:46:14,898 --> 00:46:17,598
again and keep doing the things.
:
00:46:17,598 --> 00:46:21,318
thank you to everyone who has
engaged with us on social media.
:
00:46:21,318 --> 00:46:24,648
It's been real fun and
left us nice reviews.
:
00:46:24,668 --> 00:46:26,348
-:shout out and hashtag this week.
:
00:46:26,348 --> 00:46:26,738
-::
00:46:26,798 --> 00:46:27,768
-:That was very fun.
:
00:46:27,962 --> 00:46:29,762
-:friend of the show, Brian.
:
00:46:29,762 --> 00:46:32,882
and yeah, we love to see you
out there in, in the real world.
:
00:46:33,268 --> 00:46:34,078
haw fuck the law.
:
00:46:35,578 --> 00:46:36,448
Say hi to your mom and
:
00:46:36,493 --> 00:46:37,123
-: