Episode 14

full
Published on:

1st Sep 2025

This Here's Tubed, River Chicken

We rambled from grief to TV and movies, with a minor detour into misadventure. Apparently Dash was in a shootout once and didn't even know until the cops told him. As always, Queernecks is fortunate and grateful to the folks who keep listening! If you have a crazy story, drop us a note at mailbag@queernecks.com! But make sure the names and places are changed or the statute of limitations is up ;)

We dedicate this episode to the queer and trans kids, faculty, and staff who are going back to the classroom after too short of a summer off to fully lick the wounds of the past year. Hang in there darlings; you're always just around the corner from the light.

chapters:

00:00 Introduction and Hosts

00:17 Summer Sleep Schedules

00:52 Health Alerts and Smartwatches

01:55 Shannon's Work Injury

03:05 Age and Family History

05:31 True Detective and Streaming Services

06:55 Walking at Night and Police Encounter

12:38 Worst Movies Ever

17:32 High School Memories and Substance Use

22:42 High School Memories and Substance Use

25:05 Cultural Hegemony and Decadence

27:42 Personal Experiences with Medication

32:37 Public Libraries: A Community Treasure

38:45 Appalachian Cuisine: Soup Beans and Cornbread

41:31 Challenges and Triumphs in Education

46:07 Conclusion and Social Media Shoutouts

Transcript
Speaker:

Welcome to Queer Next, the podcast that

puts the Yee Hall in y'all means hall.

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I'm your host, Beck, and I'm your host.

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Dash.

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Welcome to today's episode.

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dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: Did you

do that like summer thing where

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you got your sleep schedule all

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beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Oh yeah.

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I was going to bed at like nine or

10 o'clock with Shannon and sleeping

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literally till 10 30 every morning.

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yeah, I was sleeping glorious amounts.

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dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: You know what?

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I watched an episode of Good Hang

with Amy Poer, where she was talking

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to Dakota Johnson, who said that she

sleeps like 13, 14 hours at a night day.

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Whenever.

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beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: I only do

that when I don't have classes and shit.

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You know what I mean?

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This was my one summer

being paid like a teacher.

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I was getting paid all summer

to do absolutely jack shit, I

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was technically working two jobs

while I was sitting on my ass, so

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dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: See, that's

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beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: yeah.

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dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: I got

an old man style health alert

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from my watch just earlier.

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I went from my walk.

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and you know, I have, I have

had, I've not been super healthy.

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I've had some things going on

since around March or April.

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And, uh, back then I got a, do

you have an, uh, smartwatch?

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beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Shannon does

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dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:

They fucking perverts.

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do You remember back in the day when

you would have the sniffles or something

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and you would get on WebMD and it

would be like, well, you've either

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got seasonal allergies or some rare

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beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: right.

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dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:

smartwatch with, with a health

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on it or something is like that.

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But you wear it and it'll just

jump out at you sometimes.

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And so it come up back in March or

April and said like, your cardiac

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health is below average or something.

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something.

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It won't tell you that you're

unhealthy because it, it's

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not trying to diagnose you.

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And it stayed like that

until nine days ago when I.

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I took leave from work and I got back

from my walk and it gave me an alert

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and it was like, you've got a new trend

in your cardiac health and my resting

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heart rate is back down to a, a healthy

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beck_3_08-27-2025_180318:

Oh, that's awesome.

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dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: you know?

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when the doctor tells you

to rest, kids do what they

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beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Yeah, Shanna's

learning that she, uh, should have taken a

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few more days off of work after her fall.

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She fell at work and hit her head really

bad and bruised her knee so badly.

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I think she chipped her kneecap

like, it's hurting so much.

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Yeah, I cracked it.

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Or, or something.

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'cause she's got a lot of pain around it.

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And,

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dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: possible.

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beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: when you

get pain, when you get a bruise

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on your shin like that, the, the

bruise will run down your leg.

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So she's got a whole purple leg where

she only hit like around the knee

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and stuff, but it looks gruesome.

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she had a concussion and now she's got

soreness in her neck and shoulders.

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And I told her she might

even have whiplash, because

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dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: I mean,

it sounds like a fucked up fall.

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That's scary.

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beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: She, she's

got like a goose egg still on top of her

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head big yellow bruise on her forehead.

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She should have just taken a few more

days 'cause her knee is really hurting.

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And she's at work right now.

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dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: Jesus,

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I mean, I'm, so glad that she has

found work that like, you know,

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fills her up and is meaningful and

she's excited to do, because for the

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longest time up there, was outside her

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beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Yeah.

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dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:

but like, dang, you gotta

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beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Yeah.

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She's working like 50

hours a week right now.

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dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:

Well, she's young.

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beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Yeah.

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She's your age.

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dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: Is she?

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beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: I feel very old.

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My birthday is on Monday

and I feel very old.

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dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:

You're not that much

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beck_3_08-27-2025_180318:

Yeah, but it feels old.

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dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:

No, I know what you mean.

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I've been feeling ancient lately.

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beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: The

age of 47 is kind of mystical in

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my family because several family

members have died at that age.

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And my mom was convinced

that she was gonna die at 47.

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She died at 69 and like two

weeks before she turned 70.

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So she made it way past 47.

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but I'm turning 47 on Monday

and it kind of scares me.

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dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:

Well, and your mom was rocking

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a lifestyle that you don't,

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beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: yeah,

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dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: there

was some unhealthy habits in

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beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: but she wasn't

a diabetic and I am, and that's a big one.

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dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:

Yeah, and, and there's no.

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no like, accurate way to measure

up what actually lends itself

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to longer life in the moment.

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Centuries later, they'll, they'll

do some longitudinal study on, on

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what it actually took, and they'll,

hindsight will be what it takes.

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But now it's really not, I don't wanna

say unhealthy because I think people all

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have all kinds of reasons for thinking

this way, but maybe not the best use

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of our time all the time to try to be

guessing how many years we've got left.

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beck_3_08-27-2025_180318:

Yeah, my dad bought a new truck

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like a month before he died.

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He with a lease on it.

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So he was planning on living a long life

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dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: my uncle

Jerry did the exact same thing.

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His, his brother Jimmy had passed

not long before this, and he had.

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just like, you know, your mom had.

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And that kind of come for him.

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And he tried to sober, up in

the last there, and he did

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his chemotherapy and stuff.

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And his

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beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: I.

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dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: my uncle

Jerry was like, that's fucking stupid.

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I, if I, if they told me that I would

just sit on the front porch and drink

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and smoke until I died, is what he did.

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but he had just bought a truck too.

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And so that was something.

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And my mom still drives that

truck and she named it Jerry.

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beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: my dad's

girlfriend at the time was living

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in my mom's house and she arranged

for the truck to get returned.

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I don't know what went down with that.

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it took me six months to get her out of

the house and get her out of the affairs

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until I was able to take stuff over.

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dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:

Some people, man,

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beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: yeah,

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dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: I mean, okay,

on the one hand maybe they, maybe she

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loved him and maybe that was real.

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But also just stay in your

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beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: yeah, yeah.

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When I went in to see him in the

hospital, um, after he'd had his

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stroke, I just wanted to hold

his hand and talk to him, and she

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wouldn't leave us alone in the room.

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And she was doing stuff like

playing Christian music.

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He would have died listening to Christian.

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He was country music through and through.

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That's all he listened to.

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And he would've been so annoyed with

the Christian rock that she was playing.

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He would've hated it.

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She didn't even know him

well enough to know that.

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So how could she really love him?

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dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: I

recently watched, the fourth

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season of True Detective.

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I know you're not much of a TV person,

but like now that I have while I'm

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not blacking out every day, and

my brain is clearing a little bit.

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I've been watching movies and

TV and stuff and, I loved it.

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highly recommend, like totally

redeemed seasons two and three,

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beck_3_08-27-2025_180318:

Which platform is it on?

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dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:

It's on, uh, max,

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beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: the,

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dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: they call

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beck_3_08-27-2025_180318:

that's the one I don't have.

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dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: Um,

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beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: I have, okay.

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I have, I have Paramount, I have

Peacock, I have Netflix, I have Hulu.

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I don't have Max.

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That's the one I don't have.

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Yeah.

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dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: I'm, I'm in a,

sort of a poly lifestyle with streaming

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beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Understood.

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Understood.

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dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: But

I've been going for a lot of

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walks too, and I, remember.

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Well first, so today we're recording

on August 27th, listeners, and that is

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the day that my brother was killed, um,

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beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: know.

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I'm so sorry.

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dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: I, that's

why I wanted to record I chose today.

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because I'm always alone.

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It's because it's, I have lived

alone for the past 10 years, since

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I left grad school, and it's always

at the beginning of the semester,

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so I can't take time or anything.

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it always does kind of fuck me up

mentally and emotionally as well.

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And this year it just happened

to be a little bit of an extreme

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dollop of that already going on.

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So this is the first year probably the

17 years since he died, that I have

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been able to choose how to spend my day.

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so I've been watching some Star Trek,

And I've also been trying to spend

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some more time outside, but it's

starting to get dark here earlier.

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And I realized I had

never gone for a walk.

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In the dark yet since I got here,

. When I lived in Richmond and when I

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lived in Carbondale, I would always

walk around really late at night.

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I would go home.

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I wouldn't even start walking until

like eight and I would walk until 11.

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Sometimes.

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I had just gotten sober.

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So I was like, what the

fuck do I do with my time?

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And you'd see weird shit doing that.

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This one time I was walking around

in Richmond and the, I had my earbuds

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in, I saw the corner of my eye, the

flashing lights, the blue lights.

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And I was like, okay, what's going on?

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And I went to take my earbuds out

'cause I, and they pulled up like

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they screeched up next to me.

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and I was like, oh, okay.

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And I went to take them out and

she jumped outta the car and put

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her hand on her gun and said, put

your hands where I can see 'em.

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like, holy shit.

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And so I was like, I can't hear

what you are saying though.

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if you want to communicate with me, these

things have gotta come outta my ears.

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And so she comes up and

like, pats me down and stuff.

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And then she lets me take the, earbuds

out and then she starts asking me really

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aggressively about why I'm out walking.

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and um, just such a fuck.

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I'm an idiot and an asshole

and that's a bad combo.

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have done this if I had

known what she suspected me

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beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: You are

neither of those things, by the way.

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dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: well,

when presented with authority,

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sometimes I turn into my mother.

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beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Understood.

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Under.

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Understood.

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dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: So, and then

by this point, like two more cars have

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come up and they box me in and these

guys are getting out and flanking me.

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And I was like, something is very wrong.

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I started to get sweaty and shaky.

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And she goes, she goes like,

what are you, what are you doing?

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And I was like, I'm walking.

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And she goes, do you always

go out walking late at night?

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And I was like, it sound really bad.

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And she was like, uh, which

direction did you come from?

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And so I pointed down whereby I lived,

I had just walked outta my house And she

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was like, have you seen anything strange?

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And I was like, now that you mention

it, a really, let's say animated

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looking fellow walked past me.

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He was blasting music really loud

from a speaker, strapped on his

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back and he looked like Encino man.

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have you seen

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beck_3_08-27-2025_180318:

Yeah, many times.

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dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: when Brenda

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beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Yeah.

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dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: up?

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That's.

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Like half dressed.

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He had all of his, it looked

like, all like all of his clothes.

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Anyway, on his back, he looked like

he was leaving somewhere she was

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like, okay, which way did he go?

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And I was like, he went down that way

and the two cops were with her peel

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off and she was like, I feel like I

should explain what just happened.

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I was like, please fucking do.

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And she said someone called in a shooting

and gave us your physical description.

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apparently I had walked right past

it had my earbuds in and didn't

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know the fucking shooting was going

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beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Good Lord.

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This is why you don't wear

your earbuds at night.

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dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: know that

now so, I guess somebody saw it and

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I'm walking away, all calm and collected

and they reported me as the shooter.

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But Thank God she was paying attention

because them other guys, they

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were on alert because they thought

that I was armed and dangerous.

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And I was acting weird because

they were acting weird.

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And it made me weirder

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beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: you

asked if I had seen Encino.

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Man, I am very up to date

on my poly shore movies.

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I have seen Biodome many times.

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Yeah.

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dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: I love

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beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: seen son-in-law,

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, dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:

In the Army now might be my

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beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: right?

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dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: poly

Shore movie and I have no idea.

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I maybe it was just, I think everyone

for, I think for everyone, they

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experienced poly shore at a moment in

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beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Yeah.

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dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:

and in the Army now it was

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beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Yeah.

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dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: also, Lori

Petty is in that movie, so smoking

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beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Yeah.

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She's in a league of their own too.

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dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:

She's in League of their own.

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She's in, think her career

started with Point Break.

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Do you know the story of Lori Petty's

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beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: no,

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dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:

have you seen Point

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beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: no.

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But I know it's a surfer movie

with, uh, Patrick Swayze.

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Right.

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dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: Yep.

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He's a, he plays a surfer in it.

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And, Keanu Reeves plays an FBI agent,

I think, or a TFI don't remember what,

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but some, something, some, agency.

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And he's infiltrating this surfer gang

that they suspect are, robbing banks and

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Lori Petty plays, Keanu's love interest.

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And they're, they're so good together.

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They have such great chemistry.

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But, Katherine Bigelow is the

person who, directed, I don't know

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if she wrote, and they were screen

testing actresses to play this role.

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And everybody hated Lori Petty,

except for Katherine Bigelow.

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And she was like, I, I know this

is what I picture her saying.

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Anyway.

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She's like, I know it's the nineties and

we're all like really into our misogyny

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and our Cindy Crawfords and stuff needing

to be on screen, but this is what we call

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acting, this is what we call chemistry.

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and they're also the kind of odd

pairing that you would see in real life.

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Like two kind of unconventionally,

but still attractive

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people who find each other.

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my God, there was a fucking

remake of point break.

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Oh, please tell me.

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This is not the inferior

Chris . No, it's not.

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I don't know who these

people are actually.

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This might be an

international film anyway.

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Point break in 91 is the good one.

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beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Yeah,

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dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:

love Katherine Bigelow.

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Do you know who she was married to?

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Quentin Fucking

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beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: no way.

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dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: The best thing

Quentin Tarantino ever did for this

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world was give us Catherine Bigelow.

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It's not entirely true.

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He used to be able to

turn out a good film.

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beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: I've never

been able to sit through one all the

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way through, so I couldn't tell you.

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dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: You

gotta go way back to find one that

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I remember where he started to

lose me was at glorious bastards.

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I was, I actually sat through, it

must've been 98% of that movie,

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and it got to what I think was

the end scene in a normal film.

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This would've been something like the

denouement And it was so drawn out

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and, um, this character is bloviating

in a bar, and it's like, you can

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hear Quentin Tarantino speaking

through this character's dialogue.

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And I just, I remember I was just like,

oh my God, I can't fucking take this.

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So I never did finish the movie.

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There's probably five minutes of

that movie left that I didn't see.

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I was like, what?

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I can't do this.

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And why, why am I doing this?

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This isn't important cinema.

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I don't need Quentin Tarantino to

explain to me that the Nazis were bad.

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Maybe some folks today

could use a little refresher

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beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Right.

334

:

What's the worst movie you've ever seen?

335

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: Ooh, battlefield

336

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Oh, yeah,

337

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: Yes.

338

:

Do you know this movie?

339

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318:

I've not seen it.

340

:

No.

341

:

I've heard of it, but I've not seen it.

342

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:

it's just, um, propaganda.

343

:

there's a lot of movies out there that

are religious propaganda or whatever,

344

:

you know, this one is the story of

weirdo alien thing that they have.

345

:

it could have been actually a

really fun story, but it was

346

:

poorly made and it was kind of a,

I don't know how to describe it.

347

:

every single frame of the

film is at a Dutch angle.

348

:

Ryan Murphy is really fond of these in

American horror stories, especially the

349

:

early seasons of American Horror Story.

350

:

But I think he uses

them fairly judiciously.

351

:

It's where the screen is on a

tilt like this, and it signifies.

352

:

Something's askew, something's off.

353

:

We're we're where there's danger afoot.

354

:

And so every single frame of

Battlefield Earth does this,

355

:

but it flip flops like this.

356

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Ah.

357

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: I recommend

watching this movie, but it is terrible.

358

:

It's objectively terrible.

359

:

And John Travolta plays

this alien, zou person.

360

:

Eric and I watched this movie together.

361

:

And have you ever laughed so hard?

362

:

You almost died.

363

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318:

Yes, but not at a movie.

364

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: only

happened to me a couple times.

365

:

and this is the only one I can actually

pinpoint, but I did, I laughed so hard

366

:

that my lungs would no longer actually

draw air, and my heart it stopped.

367

:

I had to roll out of the recliner

and lie face down in the floor

368

:

There's it, and I'm not the only

one who's, who's felt that way about

369

:

it because this clip is on YouTube.

370

:

So go look it up and listeners

go Look up this clip.

371

:

Just look up Battlefield Earth.

372

:

Do you want lunch?

373

:

And you will know exactly what I mean.

374

:

It's, it's a torture scene with

John Travolta's character the people

375

:

who represent the Scientologists

human slaves or whatever.

376

:

he's got one of them and he's trying to

torture them he's threatening the guy

377

:

with feeding him a dead rat of some kind.

378

:

but it's on a Dutch angle.

379

:

He's leaning over him in this like

dentist chair and the dude he's

380

:

in like, s and m gear and Travolta

is overacting in this whole thing.

381

:

He's, it's just camp is all get

out and he holds up a rubber.

382

:

Really shitty looking.

383

:

rat and he delivers a line.

384

:

I can't do it.

385

:

It's something like, he go,

he goes, do you want lunch?

386

:

It's supposed to be scary,

but we were not ready.

387

:

And so we both, and we, we

laughed harder and harder at how

388

:

hard the other one was laughing.

389

:

I was actually scared I

wasn't gonna survive that.

390

:

You name yours like your worst movie

391

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318:

big John Malkovich.

392

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:

Such a strong opinion.

393

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: I was so

angry when I got done watching that

394

:

movie that I had wasted an hour and 45

minutes of my life watching that drl,

395

:

that I am still pissed about it to this.

396

:

It's been like 20 years

since I watched that movie,

397

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: Yeah.

398

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: and I'm

still pissed about it to this day.

399

:

It was so bad.

400

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:

Movie's a real moment in time.

401

:

I still don't feel like

I understand what was

402

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Yeah,

403

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: and I

can't say that I enjoyed any of it.

404

:

will say that I appreciate,

its its technique, its craft.

405

:

as a form of, technical cinema, There's

a lot of, skill displayed in, in like

406

:

its production, but the story, I don't

know what it's trying to tell me.

407

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: it was stupid.

408

:

It was very stupid.

409

:

It makes me mad.

410

:

It was so stupid.

411

:

I like, don't like John Malkovich

anymore because of that movie.

412

:

Like I have an internal bias against him.

413

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: That's

414

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Yeah.

415

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: Yeah, man.

416

:

A, a, a bad enough experience

can sour you on a, on an actor?

417

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Like Alan

Cummings, I don't like him because of

418

:

the movie Circle of Friends, which is

probably one of his very first movies.

419

:

He plays a rapy kind of creep.

420

:

mini driver and, Chris, the

guy that played ba uh, Robin,

421

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: Chris

422

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Yes.

423

:

they're,

424

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: o

425

:

I remember a movie that the

first time I experienced a

426

:

movie that I couldn't handle.

427

:

I'm just, I'm a very sensitive boy.

428

:

I cry at movies and I always

have for a while there, we rented

429

:

movies a lot, all the time.

430

:

they rented a movie, dead Man

Walkin, with Susan Sarandon.

431

:

And, . Penn is in this movie,

and I couldn't, I had to

432

:

leave up in the opening.

433

:

Maybe 10 minutes.

434

:

It was too intense and sad and

I was crying so hard I couldn't

435

:

see, and I was trying to hide it.

436

:

I've always been really embarrassed

about the fact that I cry at movies too.

437

:

And so I was sitting back in

the kitchen part of the trailer,

438

:

watching over the couch trying to

hide the fact that I was crying.

439

:

Finally, I was like, I

keep fucking do this.

440

:

I have to leave, and I have

hated Sean Penn ever since then.

441

:

Haven't, haven't enjoyed

watching him or watched him in

442

:

anything on purpose since then.

443

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: It is so

funny how your mind will do that.

444

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:

Yeah, they're like, mines.

445

:

They got no business being as powerful

as they are because they are just stupid

446

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Yeah, agreed.

447

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: well, let's give

this wheel, what have you, a spin and see

448

:

Oh, no.

449

:

Landed on an inebriation.

450

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Inebriation.

451

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: Lord, isn't

this appropriate to, the day David died?

452

:

that started.

453

:

I'm not gonna say early.

454

:

There are people who had started

their journeys with substances

455

:

way earlier than we did.

456

:

We started in our early teens.

457

:

but looking back, it's still a red flag.

458

:

I think.

459

:

I think our generation was kind of

like that with substances though.

460

:

Like we were, we down to get up to stuff.

461

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Yeah, I

know there were people smoking weed

462

:

as early as eighth grade in my class.

463

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: Yeah.

464

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Yeah.

465

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: dude in my, my

eighth grade class, he was in my grade.

466

:

would open his social studies book

and there would be a half smoked joint

467

:

in there and it would just smell, the

whole class would smell up like resin.

468

:

When he opened it

469

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Wow.

470

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: he

would deal out of the bathroom.

471

:

I think he's a fucking cough now.

472

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Of course.

473

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: I know.

474

:

I was thinking about that recently too.

475

:

Like all people who all became cops,

uh, that I went to school with,

476

:

were the, were the shitty kids.

477

:

They were the kids that were,

and they still are shitty

478

:

because they keep getting caught.

479

:

This makes the papers and everything.

480

:

They're, they're selling drugs

and they're pimping girls

481

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Yeah, the, the

guys that became cops from my school ended

482

:

up becoming prison guards, which, which

is its own unique kind of cop, you know?

483

:

I think you have to be a very

special person to be a prison guard.

484

:

like one guy he got, he got, a bunch

of guys in trouble when we were in

485

:

high school because they pissed in

his water bottle bottle in gym class.

486

:

And he took a drink of it and like

five people got suspended over that.

487

:

and now he's a prison guard.

488

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:

Uh, David got suspended.

489

:

I don't even remember why, but they

made a website uh, which thinking

490

:

back, that's actually pretty

impressive in this would've been 94.

491

:

he and a friend made a website

that was just kind of making

492

:

fun of the other kids in school.

493

:

It would make lists of like, you

know, suck up or, I don't know,

494

:

they were more offensive ones.

495

:

I'm sure there was something about like

sluts or something on it, like just

496

:

categorizing or making fun of kids.

497

:

And it was a satire, it was act, it

actually grew into a newspaper, a full on.

498

:

They would print it out and put it

in the lockers of the kids at school,

499

:

and this is what got them caught.

500

:

so thinking back, I'm like, that

was actually really creative

501

:

and demonstrating, some pretty

specific skills for kids who

502

:

weren't taught that kind of thing.

503

:

but yeah, they were suspended.

504

:

Well, he got suspended for it.

505

:

His friend did not get suspended for it.

506

:

His friend was in the, 13 year club.

507

:

They never got in trouble.

508

:

The 13 year club kids,

509

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318:

what does that mean?

510

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: this was a pre-K

through 12 school we transferred into it.

511

:

So we were

512

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: I see.

513

:

I was, I was an outsider as well.

514

:

Yeah.

515

:

Yep.

516

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:

So I wasn't bull.

517

:

I mean, they weren't nice to

us, but they don't know what

518

:

I was dealing with at Jellico.

519

:

they were like fluffy, soft little

kittens when they would try to be mean

520

:

to me, And they would call me stuff

that actually was kind of badass, right?

521

:

They would call me like a devil

worshiper or a demon And I was like,

522

:

that's, I don't mind that at all.

523

:

They were not very good at being bullies.

524

:

They were no boy titties,

525

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Right.

526

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: And I was like,

need to study at the feet of the folks.

527

:

I just moved here from.

528

:

They, it wasn't even worth writing angsty

poetry about, I just went on with my life.

529

:

But if you ever got into something with

a popular kid, you were in serious shit.

530

:

You were gonna take all of the, or

with, I say popular, there were 13

531

:

year club people that were not popular.

532

:

And I'm sure that they weren't

immune as well, but they was this

533

:

like core cohort of 13 year kids.

534

:

Like their last names were on

certain buildings and shit.

535

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Yeah,

536

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: So we'd go out

partying with them and we would always

537

:

go to the places, to their houses.

538

:

'cause they kind of knew this too.

539

:

And they knew that they were above

the law and their parents, they

540

:

always owned cabins and stuff out

on the mountains or in the hollers.

541

:

And so that's where the parties would be.

542

:

And we knew that we

were untouchable there.

543

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Yeah, I did

get invited to the cool kid stuff.

544

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: I

technically was invited because

545

:

my brother became a cool kid.

546

:

He was so goddamn charismatic and

gregarious that he became one of

547

:

the, the princes of that fucking

school shortly after we moved there.

548

:

After we transferred there

and he stayed a popular kid.

549

:

And I think being a popular kid was

one of the things that fucked him up.

550

:

' cause he wasn't any different than me.

551

:

None of us had the skills to be popular.

552

:

None of us had the skills to have friends.

553

:

And so he, he transfers somewhere

and he happens to be six foot three

554

:

in the eighth grade and gorgeous.

555

:

And he becomes a God.

556

:

They fucking worshiped him,

557

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: my brother and

sister both dropped outta high school, and

558

:

I was the only one that, like my sister

was smart and got good grades, but she

559

:

didn't care and ended up dropping out

to get married and, she ended up going

560

:

to college and got a, a two year degree.

561

:

but I was the only one

that finished school.

562

:

I was the only one that

cared about my grades.

563

:

I got kicked out of

National Honors Society.

564

:

I'm still more proud of

that than getting into it.

565

:

Um,

566

:

it took a lot more effort to get

kicked out than it did to, get included

567

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: You know,

I'm thinking about like the first

568

:

time I got drunk or the first time

I smoked pot or something like that.

569

:

And I, in high school

I was a very good kid.

570

:

I did not really get up

to shit in high school.

571

:

Only once or twice, I do something.

572

:

I mean, I was using substances, I

was doing that, but I was so careful

573

:

it was, it like barely counted.

574

:

And a lot of times I would do it just

so that I could keep an eye on David.

575

:

But I remember specifically like

really hating the sensation.

576

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Wow.

577

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:

Especially of weed.

578

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Yeah.

579

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: but I

think the first time it might have

580

:

been like oregano or pocket lin or

581

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Right.

582

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:

because me super sick.

583

:

I was at a basketball game with my parents

and I had to, I was just in the bathroom

584

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: I was

also went to a ba, I was at a

585

:

basketball game and we left.

586

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: Why did the

shit always go down at the basketball

587

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Well, so it was,

there was a dance after the basketball

588

:

game, so we snuck out in the fourth

quarter and went over to the high school

589

:

baseball field and we smoked a joint

and then we came back for the dance.

590

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: Yeah,

there was always a dance after

591

:

the football games and the

592

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Yep,

593

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: honestly,

teachers doing the Lord's work,

594

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: for real.

595

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: chaperones.

596

:

They just poured their hearts

into giving us experiences.

597

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: My high

school now has an AstroTurf football

598

:

field for the, for the team, so, yeah.

599

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:

I don't know anything about

600

:

what my high school's up to.

601

:

Once in a while I'll, like, I'll look

people up on Facebook or something

602

:

that when I went to high school with,

I don't know why I haven't done it

603

:

in a long time, but I know that there

was a period in time there where the

604

:

substances got kind of bad At my high

school kids were drinking at school.

605

:

A lot of them were.

606

:

There was one kid who would wake up and

drink a fifth of vodka before coming to

607

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: That's what

my brother got kicked outta school for

608

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: Yeah.

609

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: drunk at school.

610

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: I drank

peach s snaps at school one day.

611

:

Um, and we got in pretty

serious trouble for it.

612

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: brother would

go out to his car at lunch and drink a

613

:

case of hot beer and go back into class.

614

:

Yeah,

615

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: ooh,

616

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: it was never,

he always did everything to extremes like

617

:

he would make baked spaghetti and put a

whole pound of cheese on top of it, or he

618

:

would order a pizza and get crust, double

sauce, double cheese, double pepperoni.

619

:

Like everything the boy did.

620

:

He did to excess.

621

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:

that's that like, 'cause I, I,

622

:

my brother was the same way.

623

:

and you know, they say that

Hunter s Thompson was like that.

624

:

He would go into a restaurant

and order everything on the

625

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Oh wow.

626

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:

but he didn't eat it.

627

:

didn't eat it all.

628

:

He, it all went to waste.

629

:

It was, he was performing

decadence in a way.

630

:

And I remember my David Warship,

hunter s Thompson, he actually, one

631

:

of the things I got back from Iraq.

632

:

his stuff was a collection of fear

and loathing on the campaign trail,

633

:

which is, the, him following George

McGovern on the, uh, 72 campaign

634

:

trail like that, the 72 election.

635

:

David really idolized Hunter s Thompson

I don't know, do you think rich kids,

636

:

fetishize, decadence the way poor kids do?

637

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318:

I don't think so.

638

:

because it's nothing to them to go

spend $15 every day at, at, Starbucks,

639

:

you know, or have the, the $40 Tumblr,

you know, it's nothing to drop money

640

:

on name brands and things like that.

641

:

My lecture today was about

cultural hegemony, and this is

642

:

just right in there with that.

643

:

Right.

644

:

the idea that there's in

groups and out groups, it's

645

:

funny that this would come up.

646

:

But yeah, the, I think rich kids

have a lot more, ' cause money is

647

:

the source of a lot of that, of the

being in the ed group and the out

648

:

group, especially in American culture.

649

:

cause you have to wear certain brands

and you have to have a certain phone

650

:

and you have to drive a certain

car and have the right laptop and,

651

:

you know, all of those things.

652

:

yeah.

653

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: I think the, the

decadence thing, Thompson was performing

654

:

a, a thing that he wasn't necessarily,

actually, he was selling something.

655

:

He wasn't buying.

656

:

He w he would order every drink on the

menu, but only drink a few of them.

657

:

the kids who idolized that

didn't know that they were

658

:

actually imbibing everything.

659

:

And I watched people do this, like,

just, I'm going to get all the cocaine in

660

:

the world and do it all tonight because

that's something Patrick Bateman would do.

661

:

It's like you, there's something

wrong with who you're idolizing and

662

:

there's something wrong with how

you're choosing to perform that.

663

:

There were times when

inebriation was not evil, though.

664

:

I think that people with experiences

like ours are always tempted to

665

:

come down on the side of like,

inebriation is bad or these experiences

666

:

destined to go a certain way.

667

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: But then

I think of my wife who did, ketamine

668

:

therapy, you know what I mean?

669

:

She did it in a controlled, she

did it, every week for two years.

670

:

This is how long that her trial lasted.

671

:

and it really changed her from a

person that cried every single day to

672

:

a person that was happy and relaxed.

673

:

And she still has anxiety and

things like that, but it's not

674

:

anything like it used to be.

675

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: she was, she

was going through it there for, for years.

676

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: yeah.

677

:

Yeah,

678

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: that helped

679

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: yeah.

680

:

And so there's so many good

things that, but we have such a,

681

:

a fear and such a, I don't know,

what's the word I'm looking for?

682

:

Okay.

683

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:

toxic relationship

684

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318:

That's exactly right.

685

:

Yeah, because it can do so much

good, but it can do so much damage

686

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: and,

and those are social issues.

687

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Addiction is

really rife when it comes to people in

688

:

poverty because they have nothing to lose.

689

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: And I,

'cause I remember working as a server

690

:

in high school and I was a closer

and, I would, have to get home at

691

:

11:00 PM and then get up at five.

692

:

And when you're 16 you

can do that for a while.

693

:

But I was tired.

694

:

And at the Pizza Hut, I

worked at other servers.

695

:

They were taken, was it Ativan?

696

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Probably

Ativan, calms you down, makes

697

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: no.

698

:

Well, yes, but it was like

the, the weight loss version.

699

:

So it was like, it

700

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: A.

701

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:

basically Aex, right?

702

:

Yeah.

703

:

they were taking that stuff and they

were like, yeah, it keeps me awake.

704

:

And so I did do that some, but

it again, it made me so sick.

705

:

I, I didn't do it again.

706

:

' cause I was.

707

:

Kind of like experiencing not to make

light of something that kills people.

708

:

But I have overdosed several times and

there have been times when it did involve

709

:

taking a substance for the first time.

710

:

'cause I didn't know how much to take

happened the first time I took Xanax too.

711

:

Oh my god.

712

:

people are gonna listen to this.

713

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318:

Hey, we've lived lives.

714

:

You know what I mean?

715

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: We,

716

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: tried Aex.

717

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: citizen.

718

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Aex because when

I was 16, my mom sent me to a doctor that

719

:

turned out to be a pill mill doctor, and

720

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: I've been

721

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: they, they

put me on Aex of Finfin, they put me

722

:

on Finfin, so that I would lose weight.

723

:

And so here I was 16 popping speed.

724

:

I cleaned my mom's trailer from top to Bo.

725

:

I literally took a toothbrush

to the sink, like I remember.

726

:

Yeah, I had so much energy.

727

:

It was wild.

728

:

I lost weight for sure.

729

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: I bet.

730

:

But at a, at a formative age,

731

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: yeah,

732

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: an

age where your brain's not

733

:

done cooking yet, that can

734

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: that

could have really fucked me up.

735

:

But luckily I was I was not taken in by

736

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: so,

737

:

and

738

:

I think I've mentioned

my, nonverbal period.

739

:

and my parents, they tried to get help,

but they wound up, but they didn't

740

:

have the kind of insurance that could

really afford, mental health care.

741

:

So they found this dude up in

Lexington who has since been, he's

742

:

no longer allowed to practice.

743

:

He

744

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Oh wow.

745

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: he was.

746

:

I, and he had, so it,

it, it was really weird.

747

:

He talked to me for 15 minutes and

he diagnosed me with schizophrenia.

748

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: wow.

749

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:

Which I do not have.

750

:

And,

751

:

nothing.

752

:

I said, because I've,

I've gone back and forth.

753

:

I was like, what did I say that

could have him that impression.

754

:

And so my parents didn't

know any better at the time.

755

:

They caught on pretty quick because

they were paying attention and they

756

:

listened to me and they were not idiots.

757

:

They just didn't know what

he was saying at first.

758

:

he put me on Risperidol, which is

an antipsychotic uh, if you take

759

:

an anti-psychotic and you are not

psychotic, it made me psychotic.

760

:

I was nuttier than squirrel shit for the

whole time I was taking that medication.

761

:

it was terrifying.

762

:

And I remember like talking to

my mom about it afterwards, I was

763

:

like, I don't think this is right.

764

:

Something's wrong.

765

:

We, this needs to stop.

766

:

And she was like, just

stop fucking taking it.

767

:

She didn't even call him, which

I, I don't think you should do.

768

:

I don't recommend just stopping

a, psychiatric medication.

769

:

Definitely work with your doctor.

770

:

But she was like, no, fuck him.

771

:

I can still remember the things

I saw and heard on that shit.

772

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: That's wild.

773

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: Not a kind of

inebriation I would recommend to anybody.

774

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318:

first time you got drunk?

775

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: uh, I

guess there's a lot of different

776

:

shades of drunk, but the first time

I did get an inebriated on alcohol,

777

:

I think I was probably in the

eighth grade, eighth or ninth grade.

778

:

it was easy to get alcohol for

us because it was bootleggers

779

:

and so bootleggers don't card.

780

:

It was a dry county and I got

a 40 ounce of malt liquor.

781

:

It was blue.

782

:

I don't remember what the

stuff was, but it was like some

783

:

Hawaiian coconut flavored shit.

784

:

And I kept that for.

785

:

It was like weeks and I would

like pour out into the cap

786

:

and, and drink it that way.

787

:

And it was like a long time before I even

had enough for it to actually affect me.

788

:

But one day I did, and it scared me

because I stood up and I was dizzy

789

:

and I was like, oh God, I'm drunk.

790

:

And I immediately felt so guilty.

791

:

I felt like I was, this is during

my religious period, I felt like

792

:

I was going to hell immediately.

793

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Well,

'cause they tell you that you are,

794

:

that if you do any kind of sins,

they tell you some really fucked

795

:

up shit when it comes to all that.

796

:

That if you don't, if you sin, you're

gonna go be baptized at a lake of fire.

797

:

And that's really crazy

to tell little kids.

798

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: You

know, I didn't get that far

799

:

into actual organized religion.

800

:

by the time I started to get my,

because it was just OCD, I had

801

:

created my own vision of what was

gonna happen to me if I sinned.

802

:

it left the, it departed from Christianity

a long time ago because I wasn't actually

803

:

attending church, but I needed, I had a,

obsession with, I guess, karmic punishment

804

:

or something, because I felt bad.

805

:

I felt like I was doing evil all the time.

806

:

I was sinning because I knew I was not

a girl and I knew something was wrong,

807

:

and so I had to in invent a kind of

hell, but I don't, so I don't know what

808

:

the act, what they actually told people.

809

:

It all sounds so metal.

810

:

They'll be trying to scare you, and

they're like, it's a lake of fire.

811

:

And I'm like, oh, badass.

812

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Radical dude

813

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: Oh man.

814

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: the.

815

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: what were the.

816

:

What were the, um, I don't

know what you would call those.

817

:

Did people say like Cowabunga

and shit when you were in

818

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Oh yeah.

819

:

Oh yeah.

820

:

I found a, a, when I was cleaning out

mom's house, I found the most random stuff

821

:

and I found, um, a, an autograph book that

it had questions in it, in the autographs.

822

:

I made my, my grandmother sign in

to my birthday party when I was 12,

823

:

which that was, you know, the good

adjunct in me being early trained.

824

:

but there was one of the

questions that asked me what was

825

:

my favorite song at the time.

826

:

You'll never guess

827

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: What was it?

828

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318:

doing the Bartman.

829

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: Oh, see,

that's one of those media that passed

830

:

me by because I wasn't allowed to watch,

831

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: It's, it was

the Bart Simpson song doing the Bartman.

832

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: I think

I have heard it since then, but

833

:

yeah, there's a lot of blind spots

in, in my pop culture knowledge

834

:

that I'm trying to fill in as I get

835

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Yeah.

836

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: Well,

man, we had been talking maybe it's

837

:

time to, to hear from our sponsor.

838

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Let's do it.

839

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: today's,

sponsor is the public library.

840

:

Sure.

841

:

Most everywhere has public libraries

for now at least, but not every region's

842

:

libraries have the punk rock origins

of Appalachias, the book, women Riding

843

:

Horses through Muds, snow and Mountains,

just to deliver stories to families who

844

:

might never have seen a book otherwise.

845

:

They brought possibility and

wonder in their satchels, but

846

:

they're a noun for another segment.

847

:

Someday.

848

:

Today's public libraries

carry on that same spirit.

849

:

The horses may be mostly gone, but the

mission's the same, bringing knowledge,

850

:

joy, and community straight to the people.

851

:

honey, it's not just dusty books anymore.

852

:

They've got free wifi streaming

services, job search help, 3D printers,

853

:

language learning apps, genealogy

resources, tax help, drag queen story

854

:

hours and lifesaving air conditioning.

855

:

In the dead of August, you'll see

neighbors swapping recipes in the

856

:

cookbook aisle, queer kids finding

stories that finally sound like them, and

857

:

somebody's papaw printing off directions

'cause he refuses to get a smartphone.

858

:

But a library is just a building

full of minutiae without the

859

:

dedicated service of the librarian.

860

:

If libraries are water and near the

horse, then libraries are the magic

861

:

that I've lost Track of this metaphor.

862

:

Just know that librarians

are modern day saints.

863

:

They'll help you print a resume, track

down your Memaw family records, find

864

:

the perfect queer romance novel, or

gently shush that one guy who's been

865

:

asleep in the armchair since 2005.

866

:

They're walking encyclopedias,

tech support, community organizers

867

:

and therapists rolled into one.

868

:

And they'll do it all with love and

a smile, and usually for a salary

869

:

more suited to Piggly wiggly bagger

than safeguard of civilization.

870

:

And all of this is FREE free, like

free hot dogs at the car dealership,

871

:

but with so much more dignity.

872

:

So whether you need to escape the

heat, print out divorce papers,

873

:

or just remember that you're part

of something bigger than yourself.

874

:

Get yourself to the public library

proudly sponsoring queer Next.

875

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318:

I love the library.

876

:

That's the best part of being in

academia is the access to the library.

877

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: And it's, it's

totally not weird to just hang out in the

878

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: No.

879

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: all the

880

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Yeah.

881

:

It's my favorite place.

882

:

Like I could gush about

the library forever.

883

:

The local library in, uh, library

in Bowling Green, they have a

884

:

library of, of things and you can

get like a, a, a wifi hotspot.

885

:

you can get, uh, giant lawn games,

like giant checkers for your lawn.

886

:

You can get

887

:

pans.

888

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: oh,

889

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Yeah.

890

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: in

Carbondale, there was one, uh, that

891

:

had, you could check out tools.

892

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Yeah.

893

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: here they

have, they're doing a cool thing now

894

:

where you can check out a parking

permit for the national parks.

895

:

you, the way that they, sort of offset the

cost of the parks here in Minnesota is pay

896

:

for a parking pass to park for the day.

897

:

It's like $7.

898

:

people are not doing that

because sometimes $7 feels like

899

:

seven fucking dollars this.

900

:

I could get a, a Big Mac for

901

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Right.

902

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: So the

public library has some on retainer.

903

:

They'll buy a yearly one and

you can just check 'em out

904

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: That's awesome.

905

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: I think

of public libraries as constantly

906

:

trying to come up with ways to

bring just essential resources.

907

:

The things that a free should have

access to and just what an incredible

908

:

service and, and bunch of people.

909

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: During COVID, my

library was giving out COVID tests even.

910

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: Oh, hot

911

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Yeah.

912

:

Like they just had a stack of them on

the wall, and you could go in and pick

913

:

one up if you needed a COVID test.

914

:

Amazing.

915

:

my gay Little Heart loves the library.

916

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: Oh, you know

what, speaking of of books, we mentioned

917

:

Demon Copperhead and somebody on YouTube

said that they wanted us to, to talk

918

:

about it, and we chatted that both of

us have not read it since it came out.

919

:

we would have to reread it, but

wouldn't it be funny if we did like

920

:

a book club, like a queer next book

921

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318:

That would be fun.

922

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: and

that that could be our first book?

923

:

cause I, I would like to read it again.

924

:

I especially wanna pay attention to the,

response you're having to the ending.

925

:

And I also wanna know if

you experience it that way.

926

:

if you have a strong reaction

to a piece of media, it's

927

:

worth revisiting unless it's

928

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318:

Being John Malkovich,

929

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: Or,

and, and unless it is a triggering

930

:

media, do not do that to yourself.

931

:

Just because Queernecks

said, I need to challenge

932

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: right?

933

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:

protect your peace

934

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Yeah.

935

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: It is sad to

think that public knowledge is so of

936

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: if

libraries were to be introduced to

937

:

society now, they would never fly

that, that would be a communist plot

938

:

and socialism and everything else.

939

:

they wouldn't be allowed to exist

if, if they were to come out today.

940

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: I'm watching

the rhetoric so closely and, and

941

:

looking for the hints, the gestures

to what it's gonna spread out to next.

942

:

Because one day it'll be

libraries, it'll be public

943

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Right.

944

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: because

it's been the parks, it's been

945

:

the healthcare, the doctors.

946

:

It's been the universities and schools

947

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: It's crazy

to watch, but you know, they're not

948

:

really thinking when they start burning

books and every one of those books are

949

:

available by PDF download, you know,

950

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:

tossed my Kindle on,

951

:

oh no, what am

952

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: not a book.

953

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: I mean,

have a ton of them because I have been

954

:

collecting, but it wouldn't be weird

at all for somebody to be a reader but

955

:

not own hardly any actual paperback

956

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Yeah,

I know a lot of people like that.

957

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: books.

958

:

So how are they gonna burn a

959

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Right.

960

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: I was

reading an analysis of, of fascism

961

:

lately and somebody, and they were

pointing out, or it was earlier

962

:

today, they pointed out that.

963

:

there is no model for this because

a post internet, post scarcity,

964

:

post nuclear power fascist, develop,

whatever, you know, all those

965

:

things we haven't seen it before.

966

:

We're gonna be the first.

967

:

kind of like with us, what we started

out talking about, like trying to guess

968

:

how long we're gonna live it's very,

very good practice to learn from the

969

:

past and to study the past and to,

and to look for how things came about.

970

:

But it can be more of a descriptive

than a prescriptive because we could

971

:

get bogged down into for things that

might not ever actually materialize

972

:

and miss the thing that does happen.

973

:

So we need to stay in the present as

974

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Right.

975

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: Even

if the present is horrifying.

976

:

Did you bring a noun of

977

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: I did, I did.

978

:

This is a good one.

979

:

This.

980

:

I always think they're a good one, right?

981

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318:

Well, they all are.

982

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: All right, well,

welcome back y'all to another round of

983

:

nouns of Appalachian interest, the part

of queer Next where we shine a porch

984

:

light on the people, places, and things

that make Appalachia well, Appalachia.

985

:

Now, today's noun isn't just

a noun, it's a marriage, a

986

:

covenant, a domestic partnership,

blessed by pork fat, and Jesus.

987

:

That's right.

988

:

We're talking about soup,

beans, and cornbread.

989

:

dash_3_08-27-2025_170318: Oh hell

990

:

beck_3_08-27-2025_180318: Let's

get, let's get this straight.

991

:

We're not talking about just any beans.

992

:

Do not, I repeat.

993

:

Do not walk in here with your black

beans, your garbanzos, or God forbid,

994

:

chickpeas, soup, beans, or pinto beans.

995

:

Slow cooked with a ham hock until They're

so tender they can qualify for disability.

996

:

They're the backbone of Appalachian food

pyramid, which if you're wondering, is

997

:

just a triangle drawn in bacon grease

with cast iron written on all three sides.

998

:

A cornbread.

999

:

Cornbread is the biscuit's hotter,

slightly trashy cousin, the one

:

00:39:31,690 --> 00:39:34,690

who shows up at the church, potluck

with a plunging neckline, a jar

:

00:39:34,690 --> 00:39:36,280

of hot honey and zero shame.

:

00:39:36,280 --> 00:39:39,460

Cornbread is here to soak up the

soup, beans and the family gossip.

:

00:39:39,460 --> 00:39:41,710

Soup, beans and cornbread

are more than food.

:

00:39:41,740 --> 00:39:43,270

They're identity on a plate.

:

00:39:43,270 --> 00:39:46,540

They're what you ate when money was

tight, when the weather got mean, or

:

00:39:46,540 --> 00:39:49,300

when companies showed up uninvited

and you had to stretch dinner with

:

00:39:49,300 --> 00:39:51,070

a prayer and some pig knuckle.

:

00:39:51,070 --> 00:39:52,420

and let's review the etiquette.

:

00:39:52,420 --> 00:39:54,460

First, you sop you do not scoop.

:

00:39:54,460 --> 00:39:57,220

Number two, you eat with

a fork or your fingers.

:

00:39:57,220 --> 00:39:58,390

Spoons are for Yankees.

:

00:39:58,390 --> 00:40:02,350

And third, if somebody offers you a white

onion or to go with it, you say yes.

:

00:40:02,350 --> 00:40:03,820

If you say no, you're dead to me.

:

00:40:04,954 --> 00:40:06,874

So here's the soup, beans and cornbread.

:

00:40:06,874 --> 00:40:09,724

Simple, soulful, and guaranteed

to stick to your ribs longer

:

00:40:09,724 --> 00:40:10,834

than your last situation.

:

00:40:10,834 --> 00:40:11,254

Ship.

:

00:40:11,254 --> 00:40:13,414

-:

of the all time great meals.

:

00:40:13,669 --> 00:40:15,184

I, we ate that.

:

00:40:15,214 --> 00:40:17,667

It was probably two meals a week growing

:

00:40:17,697 --> 00:40:19,302

-:

ever have it with, uh, kielbasa?

:

00:40:19,362 --> 00:40:21,792

-:

it with, like links or sausage of

:

00:40:21,792 --> 00:40:25,272

various kinds, but I don't know if it

was like Polish sausage or what kind it

:

00:40:25,272 --> 00:40:26,082

-:

that's what that was.

:

00:40:26,082 --> 00:40:28,722

Whenever we had soup, beans and

cornbread, we'd always make kasa

:

00:40:28,722 --> 00:40:29,952

and, and sauerkraut with it.

:

00:40:29,952 --> 00:40:32,742

-:

would, name things, different things.

:

00:40:32,742 --> 00:40:35,292

either if she thought we wouldn't

be able to wrap our heads around

:

00:40:35,292 --> 00:40:39,219

what it was, Or if it sounded gross,

she would call it something else.

:

00:40:39,219 --> 00:40:41,289

So she would feed us

salmon and call it chicken.

:

00:40:42,642 --> 00:40:44,082

We knew it wasn't chicken,

:

00:40:44,082 --> 00:40:44,862

-:

It was river chicken.

:

00:40:44,862 --> 00:40:45,582

-:

:

00:40:45,582 --> 00:40:45,942

Yeah.

:

00:40:48,632 --> 00:40:52,481

And so she would make salmon patties,

but she called them chicken croquettes.

:

00:40:54,752 --> 00:40:56,162

This here is Tube Chicken.

:

00:41:03,466 --> 00:41:03,886

Man.

:

00:41:03,946 --> 00:41:05,716

I mean, being a parent must be so weird.

:

00:41:05,716 --> 00:41:08,146

My sister's doing it right now

and I don't know how she does.

:

00:41:08,146 --> 00:41:12,431

Her kids are great, but I'm sure there's

still days when it's like, did I do this?

:

00:41:12,566 --> 00:41:14,276

-:

could never, all of my nieces

:

00:41:14,276 --> 00:41:15,596

and nephews are all grown now.

:

00:41:15,596 --> 00:41:19,196

The youngest one is 22 or

23, and the oldest one was

:

00:41:19,196 --> 00:41:21,746

born in 93, so she's 32 now.

:

00:41:21,746 --> 00:41:25,166

So there are, yeah, my

young, my oldest niece is 32.

:

00:41:25,226 --> 00:41:26,096

That's wild.

:

00:41:26,096 --> 00:41:27,716

-:

my youngest cousin, is that

:

00:41:27,821 --> 00:41:28,481

-:

:

00:41:28,481 --> 00:41:29,441

-:

She was born when I was

:

00:41:29,816 --> 00:41:30,296

-:

:

00:41:30,296 --> 00:41:31,916

I was 14 when Haley was born.

:

00:41:31,916 --> 00:41:34,496

-:

thinking about, well, today, there

:

00:41:34,496 --> 00:41:36,626

was a, a tragedy at a school in

:

00:41:36,956 --> 00:41:37,646

-:

:

00:41:37,939 --> 00:41:41,269

-:

it's shameful and we just, we just hope

:

00:41:41,269 --> 00:41:45,439

everybody who made it through gets help

and, and support and just fucked up.

:

00:41:45,439 --> 00:41:46,339

You shouldn't have to live in shit

:

00:41:46,459 --> 00:41:46,999

-:

:

00:41:46,999 --> 00:41:48,019

-:

just shout out to the kids.

:

00:41:48,019 --> 00:41:48,739

Going back to school.

:

00:41:48,739 --> 00:41:53,539

Shout out to the teachers whose lives are

on hold for the next nine to 10 months.

:

00:41:53,539 --> 00:41:54,409

Shout out to the parents.

:

00:41:54,409 --> 00:41:55,009

Freaking out.

:

00:41:55,009 --> 00:41:56,329

Shout out to the queer kids.

:

00:41:56,329 --> 00:41:57,499

Stuffing it back, deep down.

:

00:41:57,499 --> 00:42:00,957

Maybe to go back into the

fray for another year.

:

00:42:01,137 --> 00:42:03,057

It'll be over soon and

you're gonna be great.

:

00:42:03,057 --> 00:42:05,037

-:

trans kids in all four of my

:

00:42:05,037 --> 00:42:09,027

classes this semester, openly

trans, and I think it's beautiful.

:

00:42:09,297 --> 00:42:12,447

yeah, I I, I've never had one

in all four classes before.

:

00:42:12,507 --> 00:42:12,717

-:

:

00:42:13,017 --> 00:42:13,467

-:

:

00:42:13,467 --> 00:42:14,115

that I knew of.

:

00:42:14,307 --> 00:42:15,477

-:

know, we were talking to Lee.

:

00:42:15,477 --> 00:42:18,777

I was thinking about this, like,

they don't seem scared to me.

:

00:42:18,777 --> 00:42:21,477

They're not hiding, not,

I mean, not entirely.

:

00:42:21,477 --> 00:42:23,697

Some of them, some of them are, and

they, and they have their reasons and

:

00:42:23,697 --> 00:42:27,477

they should, if it's what keeps them

safe, absolutely do what you have to do.

:

00:42:27,597 --> 00:42:31,557

I don't say this to, to like cast,

you know, shade on anybody who's not

:

00:42:31,557 --> 00:42:34,797

living their full truth yet, they're

really just living, they're living

:

00:42:34,797 --> 00:42:37,647

their lives and they're out here

and they're speaking their minds.

:

00:42:37,677 --> 00:42:38,787

They're saying their peace.

:

00:42:39,089 --> 00:42:44,339

And, you know, I had one when, when they

did the drag show, um, they were walking

:

00:42:44,339 --> 00:42:47,669

up to do their performance and they had

a little piece of paper with them and we

:

00:42:47,669 --> 00:42:50,699

had just gotten guidance from the system.

:

00:42:50,699 --> 00:42:54,569

about the, the pretend clutching

pearls that antisemitism,

:

00:42:54,569 --> 00:42:56,129

anytime anybody criticized

:

00:42:56,344 --> 00:42:56,694

-:

:

00:42:56,909 --> 00:43:00,089

-:

had drawn a sign that said Free Palestine

:

00:43:00,089 --> 00:43:02,459

and worked it into their performance.

:

00:43:02,459 --> 00:43:05,519

they were like, they were hiding

it from me because I don't know,

:

00:43:05,579 --> 00:43:07,619

and maybe they were afraid I was

gonna tell 'em not to do it 'cause

:

00:43:07,619 --> 00:43:09,029

I hadn't really been here that long.

:

00:43:09,029 --> 00:43:10,679

that is, that's punk rock.

:

00:43:10,679 --> 00:43:15,389

And so the kids who are able to,

to be out and, and, and say what

:

00:43:15,449 --> 00:43:19,289

what they feel is on their hearts

to say, protect them at all costs.

:

00:43:19,289 --> 00:43:20,789

-:

I did have one kid tell me this

:

00:43:20,789 --> 00:43:22,439

week that he doesn't use pronouns.

:

00:43:22,439 --> 00:43:22,919

-:

:

00:43:22,919 --> 00:43:23,939

There's always one that train

:

00:43:23,969 --> 00:43:24,359

-:

:

00:43:24,539 --> 00:43:24,809

-:

:

00:43:24,959 --> 00:43:26,369

-:

you take a women's studies class

:

00:43:26,369 --> 00:43:28,109

just to be a contrary asshole?

:

00:43:28,109 --> 00:43:29,189

Like for real.

:

00:43:29,189 --> 00:43:29,999

-:

I don't use pronouns.

:

00:43:30,029 --> 00:43:30,899

All right.

:

00:43:31,034 --> 00:43:32,054

-:

so what am I supposed to do?

:

00:43:32,054 --> 00:43:33,644

Call you by your first name all semester.

:

00:43:33,644 --> 00:43:36,314

And he kind of shrugged his shoulders

at me and I said, you know, that

:

00:43:36,314 --> 00:43:37,934

just means like they, and he, right.

:

00:43:37,934 --> 00:43:40,304

And he was like, well, I guess

you can use, he, you know, it's

:

00:43:40,304 --> 00:43:44,954

like, yes, the fuck you do,

use pronouns, you little moron.

:

00:43:44,954 --> 00:43:47,091

Oh, but I said it nicer than that.

:

00:43:47,091 --> 00:43:47,361

So,

:

00:43:47,361 --> 00:43:49,311

-:

he's already learned something from

:

00:43:49,376 --> 00:43:49,626

-:

:

00:43:49,701 --> 00:43:52,326

-:

somebody, has been filling him up with

:

00:43:52,326 --> 00:43:57,426

fucking stupidness, sending him out into

the world to make him look like a fool.

:

00:43:57,426 --> 00:43:59,556

Like just repeating the stuff you hear.

:

00:43:59,556 --> 00:44:00,666

You are going to look

:

00:44:00,951 --> 00:44:01,521

-:

:

00:44:01,521 --> 00:44:02,121

Yep.

:

00:44:02,121 --> 00:44:03,021

Exactly.

:

00:44:03,021 --> 00:44:03,381

-:

:

00:44:03,381 --> 00:44:03,801

I swear.

:

00:44:03,801 --> 00:44:06,351

I think some of these conservatives

have humiliation kinks or

:

00:44:06,486 --> 00:44:08,346

-:

he enjoyed today, the second lecture,

:

00:44:08,346 --> 00:44:11,496

and I was talking about privilege

and cultural hegemony and, I do

:

00:44:11,496 --> 00:44:14,646

a, like, the first couple of weeks

are, are focusing on the feminist

:

00:44:14,646 --> 00:44:16,266

movement and the history of all that.

:

00:44:16,266 --> 00:44:19,716

But I do a foundational concepts

lecture beforehand so that we can

:

00:44:19,716 --> 00:44:23,316

have a common vocabulary about things

like intersectionality and what

:

00:44:23,316 --> 00:44:27,576

institutions are and but they get a

whole serving full of, liberal bullshit.

:

00:44:27,576 --> 00:44:29,511

Um, and I love it.

:

00:44:29,961 --> 00:44:30,351

Yeah.

:

00:44:30,351 --> 00:44:32,571

So maybe he'll drop, I,

I hope maybe he drops.

:

00:44:32,631 --> 00:44:34,161

But maybe he'll stay and learn something.

:

00:44:34,161 --> 00:44:35,961

-:

yeah, I hope he sticks it out.

:

00:44:36,021 --> 00:44:41,961

And I hope that even if he doesn't leave,

a fully 180 changed man or whatever,

:

00:44:41,961 --> 00:44:43,551

the things that you said are still in

:

00:44:43,596 --> 00:44:44,046

-:

:

00:44:44,046 --> 00:44:46,626

-:

sometimes that shit can percolate

:

00:44:46,626 --> 00:44:49,543

for years, it'll come in handy one

:

00:44:49,708 --> 00:44:50,638

-:

:

00:44:50,743 --> 00:44:52,963

-:

don't change unless they have the tools to

:

00:44:53,078 --> 00:44:53,428

-:

:

00:44:53,428 --> 00:44:53,488

Yeah.

:

00:44:53,488 --> 00:44:56,308

I try to make my, my space

a very welcoming place.

:

00:44:56,308 --> 00:44:58,998

when I introduce myself, I

say You can say she or her.

:

00:44:58,998 --> 00:45:00,168

You can use they if you want to.

:

00:45:00,168 --> 00:45:01,638

If it pisses a transpo off, call me.

:

00:45:01,638 --> 00:45:04,308

He, whatever makes them, you know,

whatever makes you feel good.

:

00:45:04,308 --> 00:45:06,588

I said, it doesn't really matter

to me one way or the other.

:

00:45:06,588 --> 00:45:08,178

I, that I identify as a problem.

:

00:45:08,178 --> 00:45:09,888

If people try to fuck with my friends,

:

00:45:09,888 --> 00:45:11,388

-:

Identify as a problem.

:

00:45:11,388 --> 00:45:13,068

I'm a friend until I'm a foe,

:

00:45:14,508 --> 00:45:16,128

-:

make me, don't make me go there.

:

00:45:16,158 --> 00:45:16,788

You know what I mean?

:

00:45:17,056 --> 00:45:18,286

it's not gonna end well for you.

:

00:45:18,286 --> 00:45:20,444

-:

have a friend several times she

:

00:45:20,444 --> 00:45:23,384

has said to me like, do people

know what they're getting into?

:

00:45:23,384 --> 00:45:27,224

And they cross you because

you've got the meanest tongue.

:

00:45:27,224 --> 00:45:31,544

And, and I'll be nice, and I'll even mean,

you know, well, or whatever, but when it's

:

00:45:31,544 --> 00:45:36,994

time to get to the point, I guess I have a

way, and there have been times when folks

:

00:45:36,994 --> 00:45:40,594

I know have regretted stepping into me,

:

00:45:41,286 --> 00:45:41,576

-:

:

00:45:41,576 --> 00:45:42,576

They should regret it.

:

00:45:42,576 --> 00:45:43,416

-:

not so much here.

:

00:45:43,416 --> 00:45:46,107

People, they, well, they're all

Let's just say they don't have the,

:

00:45:46,107 --> 00:45:47,457

the courage of their convictions

:

00:45:47,552 --> 00:45:47,902

-:

:

00:45:48,045 --> 00:45:50,475

-:

to talk a lot out of earshot or let

:

00:45:50,475 --> 00:45:51,945

somebody else do the talking for 'em.

:

00:45:51,945 --> 00:45:53,685

-:

told me this week that, um, she's

:

00:45:53,685 --> 00:45:55,365

gonna push for me to get a third year.

:

00:45:55,365 --> 00:45:55,785

So

:

00:45:55,800 --> 00:45:56,130

-:

:

00:45:56,475 --> 00:45:58,155

-:

yeah, that would be fantastic.

:

00:45:58,415 --> 00:45:58,765

-:

:

00:45:58,995 --> 00:46:02,145

-:

salary is what I'm really excited about.

:

00:46:07,195 --> 00:46:09,918

-:

for hanging out with us for another week.

:

00:46:09,918 --> 00:46:10,848

-:

While we rambled along,

:

00:46:10,968 --> 00:46:11,478

-:

:

00:46:11,478 --> 00:46:14,898

As we do, again, shout out to

those embarking on the school year

:

00:46:14,898 --> 00:46:17,598

again and keep doing the things.

:

00:46:17,598 --> 00:46:21,318

thank you to everyone who has

engaged with us on social media.

:

00:46:21,318 --> 00:46:24,648

It's been real fun and

left us nice reviews.

:

00:46:24,668 --> 00:46:26,348

-:

shout out and hashtag this week.

:

00:46:26,348 --> 00:46:26,738

-:

:

00:46:26,798 --> 00:46:27,768

-:

That was very fun.

:

00:46:27,962 --> 00:46:29,762

-:

friend of the show, Brian.

:

00:46:29,762 --> 00:46:32,882

and yeah, we love to see you

out there in, in the real world.

:

00:46:33,268 --> 00:46:34,078

haw fuck the law.

:

00:46:35,578 --> 00:46:36,448

Say hi to your mom and

:

00:46:36,493 --> 00:46:37,123

-:

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About the Podcast

QUEERNECKS
Queer Appalachian Stories & Culture.
Join the lively hosts of QUEERNECKS for a unique podcast experience exploring the intersection of Appalachian culture and the LGBTQ+ experience. Dive into engaging stories, humorous anecdotes, and thoughtful discussions on everything from Appalachian traditions and local life to current events, LGBTQ+ issues, and building an inclusive community. If you're looking for a podcast that blends authentic Appalachian voices with insightful queer perspectives, offering both laughter and meaningful connection, then welcome to the QUEERNECKS family. Subscribe now and be part of our growing community!
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