Episode 54

full
Published on:

8th Jun 2026

A Battle of Wits with an Unarmed Man

Beck and Dash show up with mics on and zero prep — and somehow go from dead languages to Jehovah's Witnesses to the most redneck thing a giraffe has ever done.

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Season 2 of Queer Next is officially "fancy pants," and this episode swings wild: language-class disasters, unforgettable teachers, a Masters of the Universe review, drag culture, gender as a social construct, and a genuinely moving tribute to the Marshall University Memorial Fountain.

Chapters: (02:25) Language Class Disasters — Japanese, Latin & "I feel like chicken tonight" (07:33) Masters of the Universe & Jared Leto's Skeletor (14:32) Drag Culture, RuPaul & the Heterosexual Gaze (22:52) Gender as a Social Construct — "Canada Is Imaginary" (28:46) Jehovah's Witnesses & You Can Live Forever (42:36) Sponsor Break: The Topics.net Gossip Forum (36:43) Running From the Law: Potato Guns & Campus Cops (57:11) Karaoke Confessions (51:27) Noun of Appalachian Interest: The Marshall Memorial Fountain

Queer, Appalachian, and gloriously unhinged. Happy Pride. 🏳️‍🌈

Transcript
Beck:

Welcome to Queernecks, the podcast that puts the "yehaw" in y'all means all.

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I'm your host, Beck,

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Dash: and I'm your host.

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Dash.

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Welcome to today's episode.

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Beck: Hola, señor

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¿ está?

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¿ Dash: Bien?

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¿Y tú?

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Beck: Taco taco.

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That's all of the Spanish I know.

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Dash: Oh.

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Beck: a know even less French.

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I know French, I know the word

mustard, and I know j'ai envie de

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poulet ce soir, de poulet ce soir.

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Do you remember that?

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Dash: You've told me that before,

but I've never heard it before that.

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And I didn't take French in high school.

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I took Spanish and Latin, and then I took

some more Spanish when I got to college.

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And I know to, perhaps navigate

a, a slight emergency situation.

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I don't know.

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Beck: Yeah, I don't know any.

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I, I've, I took Japanese and

French and I couldn't tell you.

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I, the, I remember more

Japanese than I do French

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Dash: Wow.

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Yeah, I don't…

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would be really cool, like tho- like

the non Indo-European languages.

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Like, just a language that has

absolutely nothing in common

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with the one that we speak.

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It's just so

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Beck: it was really cool how they did it

because it was very a low-tech endeavor.

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Um, it was me and my very good friend Ben.

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He's the guy that married me and Shanna.

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He, I, when I moved to Lucasville in

the sixth grade, I got sat next to

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him, and we've been BFFs ever since.

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Um, he's an attorney in Columbus.

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Anyway, uh, wait, what was I telling you?

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I totally just lost my mind.

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Japanese.

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So it was me and Ben in Japanese

class, and it was facilitated

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by the librarian who had no

knowledge of Japanese whatsoever.

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So we had these, like, really thick books

that we would get, and every day there

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would be an episode broadcast on TV,

um, on satellite, and my, the librarian

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would record it, and then Ben and I would

watch that during our language period.

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And then we had exams that we had to

mail in, and then we did speaking.

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We would have a conference call.

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It was us and a little

school in Louisiana.

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They had, like, four people, and there

was a Japanese facilitator, and we

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would have conversations and talk.

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And that, uh, L- Louis- Japanese and

Louisiana accent was really interesting.

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They were worse than we were.

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That's hillbillies.

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it was inter- it was really cool

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Dash: Well, that's very similar

to how our Latin class was.

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I don't believe there was

a satellite component.

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I think it was actually VHS tapes,

because I, we, we went into a room and

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there was a facilitator who did not

speak Latin, just a school employee, and

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would put the, the tapes in or whatever

they were, and a pre-recorded lesson

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a woman who I swear she was an NPC.

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The…

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I don't think this woman

existed outside of these tapes.

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Her name was Jane Smith.

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She got one haircut a

year on her birthday.

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Like, she, the

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Beck: For the personal details,

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Dash: were like, "Are

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Beck: we're like, "Are you made up?"

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Dash: but, and I remember,

like, she had sh- I don't…

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She didn't have an accent like ours,

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Beck: bit like ours, but

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Dash: American

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Beck: American accent because

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Dash: know

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Beck: we're-- we don't know

what Latin sounds like.

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We

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Dash: We know,

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Beck: know,

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Dash: you know, w-

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Beck: you know, how…

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Dash: know the

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Beck: We know the specifically the version

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Dash: and phonemes

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Beck: of

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Dash: just from historical records, right?

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So we know that, like, the V would

be pronounced with a W sound.

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There were no soft Cs,

they were all hard Cs.

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So the word caveat is actually caweat.

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Beck: away on.

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So

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Dash: there's things like

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Beck: there's things like that we

know, but we don't know what it sounded

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like to be spoken 'cause it's dead.

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Nobody has spoken in, you know.

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Dash: So it

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Beck: So it doesn't really

matter what her accent

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Dash: very

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Beck: was, but it still very

was like, I remember her.

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" Dash: Cornelia East…"

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Beck: Eve,

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Dash: Like, everybody was

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Beck: like everybody was named

Cornelia in All Creatures Great

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Shana wants to name everything Petunia

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Dash: Petunia's a good name.

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There's a scene in Monty Python Life

of Brian where a street ruffian is

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doing graffiti and the guard comes

up, played by John Cleese, and starts

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correcting his grammar, and starts, like,

conjugating it the way you have to do

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whenever you're doing Latin because it's

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Beck: Right?

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Dash: complex.

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And so the guard, like, takes

his, like, He's got this blood red

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paintbrush and, and stuff, and starts,

like, painting on the wall, showing

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him how to conjugate the thing.

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It's so funny

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Beck: That is hilarious.

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They went to France when I was in

high school, and God, I wanted to

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go on that trip, but my mom didn't

have the money to send me to France.

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Um, it was a couple grand to go.

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But several people went, and

they had the time of their lives.

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I recently, like in the last two

weeks, reached out to my French

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teacher, um, because after Japanese

1, I decided Japanese 2 was not for

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me 'cause I'm really bad at languages.

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But you had to take at least two years of

something, so I started over with French.

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Uh, and so I was with the class below me.

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The man that proudly taught me,

we called him the Monshore because

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we couldn't say the monsieur.

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We called him the Monshore, and

he taught us words like mustard,

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and I feel like chicken tonight,

and whoop eleah, whoop eleah.

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I knew that one from French class as well.

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But I reached out to him.

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He's teaching at a, at a high school in,

in Ashland, Kentucky, and I reached out

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to him, but I haven't heard back yet.

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He was one of my favorite teachers.

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He was very ineffective as a teacher,

but he was a really fabulous person, so

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Dash: Have you ever, like, reconnected

with any of your teachers on, like,

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social media like since leave, since

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Beck: Y- m- my high school

English teacher is hilarious.

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Her name is Mrs.

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Williams, and she's probably in

her 80s now, and she has a gay

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son, and she has a very sharp wit.

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Like, I remember she taught, like,

world literature, so we learned,

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like, Beowulf and Dante's Inferno.

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We read things like that.

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Not Inferno, The Seven Circles of Hell.

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Which one's…

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Is that Inferno?

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Dash: Yeah,

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Beck: Divine Comedy.

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A- and we also had a semester of

Shakespeare, so she w- bravely taught

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Appalachian teenagers Shakespeare.

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But one time she got into

an argument with this kid.

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Um, he was just being a dick, and the

thing you have to know about him is

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that when he was a kid, him and his

brother were playing with swords, and

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he got the, the tip of his ring finger

cut off on one of his hands, so he

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had four and a half fingers, right?

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And so they got into this

argument, and she said, "Mr.

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Metzler, I will not have battle

of wits with an unarmed man."

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And it was really funny 'cause

he's missing a finger, and

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that just, we all roared.

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Like, I can imagine

how embarrassed he was.

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It was fucking hilarious.

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He never gave her shit after that.

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was, there was another teacher.

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She would pick people up and throw

them out of the room, desk and all

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Dash: Damn

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Beck: Yeah, that was Mrs.

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War- or Miss Warren.

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She was single.

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She never married.

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And there were times I

swear her desk meowed.

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She was famous for having all her cats

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Dash: Oh, man.

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Beck: Teachers are a fun

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bunch.

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Dash: The

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get away with shit, man

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Beck: And my mom would never tell me who,

but she said there were teachers at my

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school that would come into the shop.

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So that was interesting.

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I wanted to know who,

but she wouldn't tell me

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Dash: Well, you know, good for her She

wouldn't be very good at the business

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she was in if she didn't have discretion

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Beck: Yeah.

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The, the main guy on the radio

station was a regular, like

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he was there every other day.

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Uh, the, the people that came in

there, you'd be really surprised

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at who, who frequents a porn shop

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Went to the drive-in last night

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Dash: I saw that you watched, um

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Beck: Masters of the Universe

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Dash: Yehaw

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Beck: He- He-Man.

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He-Man was a big, a big guy

in my, in my formative years.

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That was my brother's,

like, favorite army guy.

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Um, it was always He-Man and She-Ra.

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And so his love of He-Man made me

get things that were She-Ra as, you

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know, 'cause you'd get things that

were tangential to your brother

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or sister's favorite things.

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It was … For, for, for the m-

for the genre, it was pretty good.

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I'll give it that.

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There was a lot of suspended disbelief

and, uh, lots of … I mean, but

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they're talking about an alien from

a different planet and talking tigers

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Dash: don't know anything

about He-Man really.

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Watch the show growing up.

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I don't know anything about

She-Ra, any of those things.

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Like, those, those kinds of

cartoons, I missed them somehow

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Beck: The, the highlight of the

movie was Jared Leto as Skeletor.

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You can't even tell it's him.

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It's wild.

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Like, I tried to like, like, like figure

it out, but yeah, it, it w- he, he did

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a great job in that film, I thought.

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I thought he was the

highlight of the, the movie.

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The evil bastard

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Dash: right.

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It's nice to see that, I guess so I

guess, I mean, and I can cut this out

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later if it doesn't work, but we could

talk really quick about those segments

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you know, we're, we're fancy pants now

in, in season two, so we're official.

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Beck: So the, the idea I guess was,

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Dash: to s- and we

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Beck: 'cause

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Dash: about this

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Beck: we talked about before,

like shifting like that back to,

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Dash: or shifting it

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Beck: or shifting-

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Dash: being something we have to come up

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Beck: Okay

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Dash: fly and being pure improv,

and more like something that we can

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incorporate into an episode and then, you

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Beck: to have showed in there

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Dash: it plays out in the next episode

so that there's a little bit more prep

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Beck: That's, that resolve.

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Dash: but I didn't want it to

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Beck: I didn't want it

to be adding more work.

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Dash: so

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Beck: So

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Dash: had ideas like stupid shit

like show and tell, where each of us

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brings a an item that we have, like

a weird item, something unusual, and

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the other has to guess like what it

is or why you have it or what its

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story is, bonus points for creativity.

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or we could each, a

YouTube video that makes

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Beck: Video that makes us

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Dash: and

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Beck: laugh and show it

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Dash: and

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Beck: and

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Dash: to it.

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We could prepare an anecdote of

some kind, uh, on a theme And then,

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you know, we could put m- review a

movie on there so that if it lands

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on that, then that's what we do

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Beck: Okay

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Dash: So I'm making a wheel

that has all these things on it.

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Okay, so I've got show and tell,

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YouTube night a s- a story from social

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book report,

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reading

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Movie review

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Beck: I think they're great

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Dash: I, and I've got like

a word game or trivia or

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do Pictionary or

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it work for

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Uh, so I'm just gonna do trivia/word

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And then,

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I've got joke

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So,

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Beck: So,

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Dash: we land on

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back and

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a,

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f- a

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And then finally I've got anecdote.

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So for anecdote and movie review,

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either the movies

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what's it called?

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The theme for the

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Beck: I think those are all great ideas

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Dash: so we'll, B- at the end of

every episode we'll spin and see

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what we're gonna do for the next time

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Beck: Then and see what we gotta do Okay.

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That'll really change things up.

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I think that'll be fun

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Dash: maybe s- uh, like a least a little

10, 15-minute segment that people can

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actually, like, know what's gonna happen

in the next episode, 'cause they never do.

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They just show up and th- assume we're

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Beck: Let's assume we're

gonna entertain this one.

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Let's

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Dash: which is a bold

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Beck: choose a bowl or

think we're entertaining

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Dash: Yehaw Get down.

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Beck: Yehaw

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Dash: I'm so tired of them lately

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Beck: I hear you.

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If I could ship Pita off

to somewhere, I would.

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To like boarding school,

she would be there

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Dash: They have boarding school for dogs.

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Like, you send them off and they get

like beha- you know, training and stuff

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Beck: She has Trazodone that she takes

for stressful situations, and we gave

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it to her last night for the movies.

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And she still was a barker, so it was…

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She's, she's done better on it

before than she did last night.

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So we'll have to figure that out.

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'Cause I wanna go.

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There's several movies coming this

summer, and it's a lot of fun to go, so

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Dash: I would go to the

drive-in if I could.

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That sounds fun.

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I used to go to the one in Corbin a lot

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Beck: We bought a little battery-operated

radio, and then we bought a

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splitter and two sets of earbuds.

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And so we listened to the…

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Because the car keeps turning off

after, like, 15 minutes, and then you

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gotta restart the, you know, the, you

gotta restart the aux or whatever.

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Um, and it's just a pain in the ass.

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You don't wanna listen through your phone.

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You don't wanna listen

through anything like that.

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So we decided to put it directly

in our ears, and we got the

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battery-operated AM/FM radio and

the splitter and two headphones.

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So it cost us, like, 30 bucks to

invest in it, but if we're gonna do

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it all summer, that's really worth

it, and it sounded great last night

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Dash: Eat meth?

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I heard there's a pronoun joke in it

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Beck: He had the, They show his

nameplate, like that he's telling

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you that he's this alien from outer

space or whatever, and he's telling

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you that he's looking for this sword.

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And then you go to his work, and

it's like, uh, Adam Glen, he/him.

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It was, it was funny.

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I noticed that.

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Dash: That is pretty

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' Beck: Cause he tries to

mediate all the way through it.

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Uh, you probably would like it.

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It was a pretty good movie

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And a lot of it is the

imagination of a child.

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Like, some of the main characters are,

like, Ram Head and Fisto 'cause he has a

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big fist, and he's like, "I do not fist

people," like 100 times in the movie.

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There's some funny lines like that

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Dash: It's really becoming apparent

that I know nothing about He-Man.

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Oh man, there's this

YouTube series called Jizz,

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Beck: Yehaw

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Dash: where it's…

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Yeah, it's a guy who, he edited

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Beck: Of course

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Dash: over Jem and the Holograms

episodes, and he was just a gay

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dude who edited, you know, gay

sort of audio or what's it called?

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Dialogue over Jem and the Holograms.

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And he actually became the editor for

the Trixie and Katya Show on YouTube.

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But that, like, I'm more likely

to have seen that version.

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There's, there's, uh, the He-Man version

of the 4 Non Blondes, What's Going On.

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Have you seen that?

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Beck: No

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Dash: that, I'm more likely to

be familiar with what people have

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done to the, a, a popular culture

thing than the, the f- actual thing

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Beck: I am so not up to date on drag

queen culture or, like, all of that.

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I've seen maybe two episodes of

RuPaul's Drag Race in my life, and I

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couldn't tell you anything about them.

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I just … It's so over the top

gay, it is just too much for me.

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It … I know that sounds crazy

being a gay person, but I think

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it's so stereotypical that

sometimes I think it hurts us.

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Um, it gives something p- people something

to negatively speak about in my opinion.

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I think it's a great culture.

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I think there's a lot

of fun to be had in it.

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It's just not for me.

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I'm kind of a prude, I guess

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Dash: well, and stuff like that

actually, like that's the thing that

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people are like most likely to find

respectable, is drag queens on a TV show.

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They're, it's, it's through that m- that

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Beck: Through then

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Dash: of popular culture that straight

people, like the straight world, is

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most likely to tolerate queerness.

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Beck: Right

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Dash: that becomes what they are

most, like they're, they don't,

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they're not gonna know anything about

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Beck: know anything about real

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Dash: queer people

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Beck: queer panic

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Dash: their experiences and their

needs, because what they think of

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when they think of gay is something

like RuPaul's Drag Race, which isn't

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even of real drag, because it's

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Beck: Maybe that's why I don't like it.

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I don't, I don't like reality shows very

much either, so that, that compounds it.

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But I don't like Queer as Folk either.

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I don't like, uh, Queer Eye

for the Straight Guy or just

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Queer Eye as it's now called.

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It's, it's just too over the

top, in your face gay culture,

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like, it feels like a performance

to me, which of course it is.

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Dash: Yehaw

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Beck: feels inauthentic to me, and it,

it, it rubs me the wrong way, and I don't

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like being represented by inauthenticity.

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That's a hard word to say

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Dash: it's a very specific

part of one part of queerness.

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and it's the part that always

gets represented, which is the

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cis gay experience like cis male

gay experience or perspective.

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And something like Queer

Eye is literally that.

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It's literally like them authoring the

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I don't even know.

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one,

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two or three seasons of

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there

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I followed

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am

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individual performers

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whatever they're doing, and I

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them

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and that's where

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like gender

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racial

403

:

and always has been.

404

:

That was the first

405

:

started to

406

:

drag

407

:

drag

408

:

mainland American

409

:

they would be

410

:

But like

411

:

do a

412

:

if it's

413

:

Beck: if

414

:

Dash: I, I, I

415

:

role that

416

:

in a lot of ways

417

:

they're the folk

418

:

a

419

:

a lot

420

:

community's core culture

421

:

that

422

:

But you're not somebody

423

:

has the identities

424

:

thing,

425

:

I could imagine

426

:

very

427

:

Beck: it.

428

:

I think something you have to also

be mindful of when it comes to gay

429

:

media and stuff is we know about

the male gaze, but there's also,

430

:

I think, a heterosexual gaze.

431

:

Because it's well known that straight

women are really into things like

432

:

heated rivalry or, or gay men being

together and things like that.

433

:

It's like really a fantasy

for them or whatever it is.

434

:

Uh, and so it's not just men consuming

lesbian content, it is wom- straight

435

:

women consuming gay male content which

I find really interesting, you know?

436

:

Somebody once told-- I know a lesbian who,

437

:

Dash: So I know the lead way

438

:

Beck: we talked, years ago we

talked about this, and she liked

439

:

watching male-on-male porn because

she said no women were being hurt.

440

:

And I've always thought

about that, you know?

441

:

Dash: Yeah, and there's no like

female degrading or subjectivity.

442

:

And like you, you know that

you're not at risk of that.

443

:

So like

444

:

Beck: Yeah

445

:

Dash: you go in and…

446

:

I had a kid, one of my students

who transitioned we were talking

447

:

about You know, orientation,

448

:

a

449

:

were living in a,

450

:

And i-

451

:

there's quite a

452

:

trans men in

453

:

to

454

:

never

455

:

before.

456

:

said that

457

:

d- dating a man

458

:

a man,

459

:

as

460

:

Like, you're

461

:

have to

462

:

those

463

:

things that straight

464

:

I was like, "Huh, well

465

:

Beck: That makes a lot of sense

466

:

Dash: he said it doesn't feel as degrading

467

:

or

468

:

that I'm one of

469

:

Okay.

470

:

Fascinating

471

:

Beck: That is fascinating

472

:

Dash: Which Makes me wonder, like,

473

:

then

474

:

speculative.

475

:

guess the,

476

:

heterosexism, compulsory

477

:

role it

478

:

be seen

479

:

Beck: Yeah.

480

:

You know, as somebody who identifies

as a lesbian and for a long time, there

481

:

have absolutely been men that I have been

attracted to in the last 30 years, right?

482

:

But I would never initiate a

relationship with a man because

483

:

I just can't even imagine having

a conversation with one more than

484

:

twice, you know for the most part.

485

:

so I don't think, I, I think the Kin-

when you think of the Kinsey scale and

486

:

things like that, I think that's the

best way to look at it, that, you know,

487

:

it's a spectrum and your emotional

attraction is different than your physical

488

:

attraction, uh, which is different

than your romantic attraction, right?

489

:

There's all kinds of different ways

that you can be attracted to somebody.

490

:

And I, I don't think that you can

separate them out very, very much.

491

:

but yeah, I think that as a lesbian it's

totally normal 'cause I have human eyes.

492

:

I can look and see, like Shemar Moore from

Criminal Minds is a beautiful human being,

493

:

and even as a lesbian I would lick his

abs because he is just beautiful, right?

494

:

Like, so you have people like that,

but I'm still as queer as they come.

495

:

So I, I don't know what you would call me

496

:

Dash: Yeah.

497

:

Well, and, and fucking attraction is

not, it's not the laws of physics, right?

498

:

It's, it, they, there's no like, "Oh,

I felt an attraction to this person,

499

:

now I have to change how I identify."

500

:

Like, even identity is

ki- it's made up, you

501

:

Beck: Yehaw

502

:

Dash: what, what do we need to

do and say to have the experience

503

:

we want to have out of life?

504

:

And that's, that's kind of

the, the nuts and bolts of it.

505

:

And, you know, when it comes to

men, like, you know, a, a broken

506

:

clock can be right twice a day.

507

:

know, some of them are fine.

508

:

And the, all this comes from

509

:

like

510

:

Beck: It all just comes

from like thinking that

511

:

Dash: and gender are so concrete

512

:

Beck: They're anything but

513

:

When you take one of my classes,

especially in women's studies, if

514

:

you leave w- if you take women's

studies, you're gonna learn that gender

515

:

and race are socially constructed.

516

:

Um, and if you take my ethnic

studies class, you're gonna learn

517

:

that race, and then as by way of

example, gender is also, you know,

518

:

you're gonna learn it either way.

519

:

So it's a, it's a big point.

520

:

And I think it really opens people

up to the idea that maybe there isn't

521

:

just one way to be, and I think that's

a good lesson for kids to learn.

522

:

I call them kids and they're 18, 19

523

:

Dash: Good lesson for kids to learn.

524

:

I do too, and I've gotta,

I've gotta stop it.

525

:

But the, the whole social

construct thing, I think people are

526

:

distressed by that idea at first.

527

:

I'm trying to put myself in the shoes

of someone who finds that upsetting.

528

:

Because

529

:

because there's no good goddamn reason for

some of the ways we have to be , right?

530

:

There's, like, no good excuse

for something like inequality

531

:

between genders or sexes.

532

:

There's no good excuse for

533

:

the

534

:

like,

535

:

on the other hand, you

536

:

what they

537

:

Yeah, but made

538

:

made up means made by us.

539

:

constructed means made by a society.

540

:

through its

541

:

about

542

:

the, the horrifying part

543

:

Beck: The way that I explain it in

class is I start off by saying, "How

544

:

many of you would think I am crazy

if I said Canada is imaginary?"

545

:

And I get some laughs, right?

546

:

And I'm like, "But it absolutely is."

547

:

I was like, "What would happen if

an alien came down and zap, all

548

:

of the humans disappeared," right?

549

:

What would happen to the boundary

between Canada and the United States?

550

:

It would physically still be there,

but the representation of, oh, this is

551

:

Canada, and oh, this is the United States,

those ideas are only ideas because we

552

:

agree as a people to share those ideas.

553

:

You know, it's like money.

554

:

Just because we give

it value, it has value.

555

:

And people really seem to, to

understand that, that it exists and

556

:

it's real, but it's 100% made up.

557

:

Because, you know, your, your boundary

of the state of Ohio, people did that.

558

:

Like we just agree it's a, it's

a mass agreement that, that

559

:

it's a, it's a fact, right?

560

:

But it's really not.

561

:

It's just a, a piece of land that's

sitting there, and we put all kinds

562

:

of meaning and attach meaning to it.

563

:

They seem to do a good job with that, so

564

:

Dash: Yeah, if you can, if you can apply

it to something that has been somehow

565

:

less politicized, kind of wild that actual

literal borders have been less politicized

566

:

than something like race or gender

567

:

Beck: You gotta, the only word I can

think of is pussyfoot around, like a

568

:

lot of the, the, the stuff you have to,

like you have to make se- I say several

569

:

times a semester when I have white

men in my class, I say, "Just remember

570

:

we're not trying to make white men

the villain in this scenario," right?

571

:

We're talking about, as we agreed as

a class, white men are the dominant

572

:

paradigm in American culture,

just like if we were in Japanese,

573

:

it would be Japanese men, right?

574

:

We're in America, so white men are

the dominant paradigm, and they

575

:

get all of this power simply for

being born into that demographic.

576

:

And it's important to understand how

that power is distributed, right?

577

:

And, and that's where we, that's

how we understand race and gender

578

:

as, as distributions of power, um,

and equal distributions of power.

579

:

And I think it's a, a really

good way to, to look at it.

580

:

Dash: Th- like, this issue we're having

with the evangelical conservative

581

:

Republican thing is c- I think i- it's

a misunderstanding, but it's also an

582

:

what Judeo-Christian

583

:

means.

584

:

and I've taught, like,

585

:

and culture, it's like

586

:

who all agree

587

:

about n- their socially

588

:

culture is

589

:

so

590

:

West

591

:

or

592

:

white, Western

593

:

you need to

594

:

here,

595

:

we're

596

:

mean

597

:

doesn't

598

:

is

599

:

if

600

:

at

601

:

being

602

:

believe

603

:

I know

604

:

it is sort of

605

:

of our, of a,

606

:

because we

607

:

Beck: Just because we are

all literally affected by

608

:

Dash: we need to, to appeal to

609

:

Beck: to appeal to it, that that

actually should be our whole life.

610

:

Dash: of

611

:

Beck: That's definitely

the right side, obviously.

612

:

Yeah.

613

:

Dash: you

614

:

Beck: But you cannot

615

:

Dash: about

616

:

Beck: disagree about something.

617

:

Here's the thing

618

:

Dash: Y- we wouldn't be able to

619

:

Beck: We wouldn't be able to argue about

it or disagree with it if it didn't

620

:

Dash: all

621

:

Beck: follow any of those.

622

:

So, and

623

:

Dash: So l- like your example

624

:

Beck: like your example with the aliens.

625

:

Dash: wouldn't

626

:

Beck: An alien would find out that they're

627

:

Dash: God is

628

:

Beck: completely insane.

629

:

Dash: because they

630

:

Beck: They

631

:

Dash: know what I'm

632

:

Beck: don't know what I'm talking about.

633

:

They don't believe it because

they aren't living it.

634

:

They rely on sources of information.

635

:

Right.

636

:

I watched a really good movie this

week in my procrastination called

637

:

You Can Live Forever, I think

638

:

Dash: because they aren't

639

:

Beck: is

640

:

Dash: dictate their lives the way we are.

641

:

Beck: the name of it.

642

:

Um, it was a lesbian movie, two young

girls, high school age and they are

643

:

in the, uh, Jehovah's Witnesses.

644

:

And I learned a lot about the

Jehovah's Witness sect from watching

645

:

that movie that I didn't know.

646

:

Um, just little things some

of it has already escaped me.

647

:

Um, but the, the fact that they say

they belong to the truth if they're

648

:

part of the congregation that she

got in trouble for having a birthday,

649

:

for example, that was a big deal.

650

:

And like you said, I th- where

religion is so socially constructed,

651

:

it's what people understand about.

652

:

Like the whole birthday thing, her and her

friend who was not a Jehovah's Witness,

653

:

all he did was buy her a piece of cake in

a diner for her birthday, and everybody in

654

:

her church got really mad about it, right?

655

:

That is some socially

constructed nonsense.

656

:

That's, that's what we're talking about.

657

:

It's their religion and really important

to them, and I think that's one of

658

:

the only things that most people

know about Jehovah's Witnesses is

659

:

they don't, they don't like holidays.

660

:

I don't understand why.

661

:

I just know that they don't.

662

:

I think that they consider them

pagan or satanic or something.

663

:

I don't know.

664

:

Dash: It could be like idolatry

665

:

Beck: Yeah.

666

:

I know when I worked at Amazon, um,

I was on what was called the, uh,

667

:

attrition, retention, and morale

committee, the ARM committee, and we

668

:

helped sponsor, uh, decorations all

over the site for different holidays.

669

:

And we had one girl who was a

Jehovah's Witness, and for her

670

:

team, they just didn't decorate,

and it was really a downer.

671

:

I just can't imagine forcing my religion

on a whole group of people like that.

672

:

Like, you can't exist around Halloween?

673

:

Like, this, this, this drawing of

a ghost is really gonna affect you?

674

:

Like, it just…

675

:

I don't, I don't know.

676

:

Maybe it's because I'm not a religious

person and I don't understand that.

677

:

If I'm wrong, somebody please correct me.

678

:

Dash: I think of the, the fundamental

things about religion is that

679

:

you can't have a, sense of play

or humor or anything like that.

680

:

Like, everybody fucking

celebrates Christmas.

681

:

People who don't believe in Christian-

like, white people who don't believe in

682

:

Christianity, and literal members of other

religions, right, celebrate Christmas.

683

:

They manage to find a way to have fun, to

make something good out of Christmas that

684

:

is the religious holiday that, that they

don't celebrate, you know, for like, say,

685

:

like Jews or Muslims or Sikhs or whoever.

686

:

But zealots aren't gonna do that.

687

:

Zealots can't find the fun in

anything that isn't their own story.

688

:

just Googled it, and Jehovah's Witnesses

don't celebrate certain holidays.

689

:

We were both right, because it may

have pagan roots, or it promotes the

690

:

worship of entities above Jehovah

I don't know anything about them.

691

:

I, my, one of my friend's parents

were JWs, and whenever I was over

692

:

at his house, they would have, like,

their Watchtower magazines and stuff.

693

:

They were the 144,000 people, right?

694

:

Beck: No, that's the Mormons.

695

:

I'm pretty sure

696

:

Dash: No.

697

:

Jehovah's Witnesses, but

maybe it's Mormons too.

698

:

But yeah, Jehovah's Witnesses believe

that exactly 144,000 faithful Christians

699

:

will be resurrected to heaven.

700

:

I'm gonna ask

701

:

Beck: Such a specific number

702

:

Dash: I know, right?

703

:

Okay, no, Mormons is not 144,000

But it i- there is a restriction

704

:

though, it's just not that number.

705

:

So yeah, that was, that's one

of the few things I remember.

706

:

It was like, okay, so y'all

have to like rouchambeau for it?

707

:

We standing outside the pearly

gates playing rock, paper, scissors?

708

:

Beck: My luck, I'd be 144,001

709

:

Dash: Yeah.

710

:

Like, is that supposed to make

me want to join your religion?

711

:

Because it doesn't.

712

:

assume there's already been that

many people died in the world,

713

:

in the history of the world.

714

:

Beck: Like, the, the ideology presented

in the movie suggested that they

715

:

believe that there's going to be a

large war of some kind, and there's

716

:

gonna be a new what they call system

afterwards, um, a new organization

717

:

of culture and society, I guess.

718

:

Um, and that everyone that had

ever died will come back to life

719

:

and be pain-free and live happily.

720

:

I didn't know that was their belief.

721

:

Like I said, I learned a lot about

the Jehovah's Witnesses by watching,

722

:

you know, an hour and a half movie.

723

:

Things I hadn't … I didn't even

know what I didn't know, you know?

724

:

It's one of those things.

725

:

There's … I didn't even

know what I didn't know

726

:

Dash: So there's, all right,

it's- they've got two classes.

727

:

It's called the two classes of the saved.

728

:

So that's the 144,000, are considered

spiritual Israelites who have

729

:

the heavenly hope of reigning

over the universe from heaven.

730

:

Wow, so they become God?

731

:

And then there's the great crowd

or the other sheep, an innumerable

732

:

ever-growing group of faithful

followers who have the earthly hope.

733

:

After surviving Armageddon, they will live

forever in a restored physical paradise

734

:

on Earth ruled over by Jesus and the

144,000 in heaven So if you're a believer,

735

:

then you get to stay on Earth forever.

736

:

You become immortal on

Earth after Armageddon.

737

:

That sounds like a punishment to me

738

:

Beck: Yeah.

739

:

One thing I did notice was the hymns

because they show them being in, in

740

:

their, I don't know if you call it

temple or, or, or what you call it,

741

:

um, in their religious gathering.

742

:

And the songs were just

so dead on their religion.

743

:

Like, "We believe that Jehovah is

the, the leader of our 144,000."

744

:

Like, it was

745

:

Dash: Oh,

746

:

Beck: There was … Yeah, it,

it was hilarious in my opinion.

747

:

Dash: Written by ChatGPT.

748

:

Beck: Yeah funny

749

:

Dash: This, I don't know if this is true.

750

:

I was about to, I'm gonna say it and then

I'm gonna Google it and see if it's true.

751

:

I think that there are 55,000

denominations of Christianity in America

752

:

Beck: Wow

753

:

' Dash: Cause we just

754

:

Beck: That would be

over 1,000 in each state

755

:

Dash: 45,000 So there are 45,000

Christian denominations due to

756

:

schisms and splintering of Protestant

beliefs Which is crazy to me

757

:

Beck: That's a lot of,

758

:

acid plates

759

:

Dash: everything I find out about this

stuff makes me more suspicious of it

760

:

Beck: Yeah.

761

:

I'm with you.

762

:

Like I've said before, I wish I

could give myself to some higher

763

:

belief, but I'm too suspicious

764

:

So many kisses I'm getting over here.

765

:

Hi.

766

:

Rue's just handing out kisses

left and right over here

767

:

Dash: Mine are awfully cuddly.

768

:

It's because it's hot.

769

:

I don't know why they

wanna cuddle when it's hot

770

:

Beck: Yeah.

771

:

Our apartment does not directly

face the sun so we are able to

772

:

keep it pretty cool in here.

773

:

Plus it's always cooler

here than everywhere else.

774

:

So we keep it at 68

775

:

Dash: I went down a a kind of rabbit

hole looking up this week's sponsor.

776

:

But I found a Reddit thread

called Puttin' On Airs, which I

777

:

don't know anything else about.

778

:

Or this Reddit is ca- this sub is called

Puttin' On Airs, but the thread on it is

779

:

basically the question is, "What's the

most redneck thing you've ever done?"

780

:

so I just, like, was sitting here

reading this whole thread, and some

781

:

of them, you know, they're just

kind of relatable, funny things.

782

:

Re- a lot of them are But, uh, so

like this person, "I fisted a steer."

783

:

Beck: I once did it on a four-wheeler.

784

:

Dash: Oh, nice.

785

:

But this one here, like you ever

like read the thing, like you're

786

:

scrolling on TikTok or something or on

social media, and you read the thing

787

:

and you're like, "Okay, that's it.

788

:

I have to close the tab and go

do something," because that's

789

:

the funniest thing I'll see, in

this session of doom scrolling.

790

:

And so this person said, "We were doing

some work for this stupid rich guy

791

:

in Mississippi a giraffe and a zebra.

792

:

The, the giraffe got into the zebra's

yard and kept trying to fuck it.

793

:

We had to use four-wheelers and an air

horn to scare the giraffe back into its

794

:

yard so it wouldn't butt fuck the zebra."

795

:

Yeah, that is pretty redneck

796

:

Beck: Have you ever run from the law?

797

:

Dash: Yes.

798

:

I've

799

:

on here though.

800

:

It was with the potato gun

801

:

Beck: Oh, yeah.

802

:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, behind the bingo hall.

803

:

One time we were coming through

Ironton, Ohio, uh, and Hanging Rock,

804

:

which is the little right beside it.

805

:

Um, and it's, Hanging Rock is

known, just the cops get…

806

:

You go 55 through there.

807

:

You know, you don't speed through there.

808

:

And we were, we were enjoying some,

some herbal refreshments and driving

809

:

down through there, and a cop sees

us, and I'm speeding of course, and he

810

:

flips around and comes following us.

811

:

So I take the exit, and I saw a little,

like, driveway, so I pulled up in

812

:

this driveway of this off-the-road

little church, and we saw the cop

813

:

fly right past us on that road.

814

:

So he was following us, and we got

away in that little churchyard.

815

:

We turned around, went back the other

direction and got the hell out of there.

816

:

Um, that's the only time I

actively ran from the cops

817

:

Dash: That time is the only one

I can remember in a vehicle.

818

:

We used to, like rollerblading

was big when I was in high school,

819

:

in middle school and high school.

820

:

And the kids at Williamsburg some of

them were that skater kid type of thing.

821

:

And so I did that for a little while,

and we would go and skate places.

822

:

This was back when, and I-

maybe they still do this.

823

:

Kids, if you're a skater now, like, are

there still signs everywhere that say

824

:

no rollerblading or skateboarding on s-

in sidewalks and parking lots and stuff?

825

:

But there were back then, and so

we were s- we would go skating on

826

:

the Cumberland College, campus.

827

:

It's University of the Cumberlands now,

but back then it was Cumberland College.

828

:

And they would chase us all over

that, uh, campus, but I don't…

829

:

Like, there's that separation because

they weren't real police, and so, like, if

830

:

Beck: Right

831

:

Dash: on campus, they could, they could

try to get us, and if they did, they

832

:

could call the police, but they couldn't

call them until we left like that.

833

:

And so, like, we would leave campus,

take them off, and then, like,

834

:

run to whoever's car and leave.

835

:

And, like, stuff like that,

like, we used to really…

836

:

We would go through that campus and,

like, gun the engine and, like, blow

837

:

smoke and try to wake everybody up.

838

:

Like, we were total dicks to that college.

839

:

And they were right across the

street from our high school, so

840

:

they just had no defense against us

841

:

Beck: The police at the universities,

they really don't have a lot of power,

842

:

which, um, I'm on … I follow a lot

of random pages on, on the internet,

843

:

and one of them on Facebook is a parent

page for the university, which I find

844

:

interesting because they always have

answers to questions and things I

845

:

hadn't thought of before, and it keeps

me up to date on what's happening

846

:

with students and things like that.

847

:

and they'll be like, "I

don't know where to park.

848

:

There's no parking.

849

:

We have to park so far away."

850

:

I'm like, "Unless your car is actually

registered to your student, park wherever

851

:

the fuck you want because they can

ticket you and there's nothing y- th-

852

:

it, it doesn't go into the Ohio system.

853

:

It's just a campus ticket."

854

:

I mean, if you get enough of them,

you could get a boot or whatever, but

855

:

if you're just do- on, on moving in

day, just park there for 10 minutes.

856

:

You know what I mean?

857

:

Like

858

:

Dash: Well, and most campuses,

like they have a system for dealing

859

:

with parking on move-in day.

860

:

Like

861

:

Beck: Yehaw

862

:

Dash: campuses that have an actual number

of students coming in, w- the whole

863

:

every fucking staff member on campus had

to, to sign up for at least one shift

864

:

of move-in day, and we w- would, you

know, "Here you've got, here's your…"

865

:

They would- the parents would have

to sign up for a 15-minute slot.

866

:

They could come and park

right in front of the door.

867

:

was at EKU.

868

:

They had the best system I've ever seen.

869

:

Beck: Sounds like what BG does

870

:

Dash: if you don't park…

871

:

As long as you park in

an actual spot, you know.

872

:

Like if you, if you do something

stupid, like we have called

873

:

people to get towed before because

they blocked something, right?

874

:

They parked somewhere that, that it

isn't even supposed to be any parking.

875

:

Like you'll get towed for that

shit, but yeah, just like you say,

876

:

like these aren't real tickets.

877

:

Beck: Yehaw

878

:

Dash: like fa- faculty and staff are

more likely to get a ticket than you.

879

:

Beck: Yeah.

880

:

Well, and there would be some

incentive to pay it if you're

881

:

faculty, you know what I mean?

882

:

Because your car is gonna be on campus

a lot, and if you ev- don't pay it,

883

:

you're eventually gonna have it come

off your Bursar bill, or they're gonna

884

:

get their money one way or the other.

885

:

You know what I mean?

886

:

But if you are just somebody who

doesn't have any connection to the

887

:

college besides your kid, and if

your tags aren't, like, connected

888

:

to that kid, do whatever you want.

889

:

They're not gonna … There's

no repercussions whatsoever.

890

:

You know, you might get towed if

you park at a really shitty place,

891

:

but, I mean, just be res- be

respectful and you're gonna be fine.

892

:

I just don't understand people who, who

won't bend little rules here and there

893

:

on things that have no consequence.

894

:

One time I was driving

with a friend in my car,

895

:

Dash: a

896

:

Beck: and I don't know if you

remember the PNC Bank in BG.

897

:

Um, it has an, one side an entrance

and one side an exit, and the exit

898

:

side has two parking spots there.

899

:

And if you're coming down, uh, Main

Street and you pull in the exit,

900

:

you can pull right into that parking

spot and it's not a big deal, right?

901

:

But my friend freaked out because I

went in the exit, and he was like,

902

:

"You can't do that," and blah, blah.

903

:

I was like, "Dude, it's fine.

904

:

There was nobody even

in the drive-through."

905

:

You know?

906

:

Like, uh, it doesn't hurt anything.

907

:

I don't understand people who can't

be flexible, I guess is my point

908

:

Dash: Yeah.

909

:

Like moral, moral rigidity is, that

should, that should only exist in

910

:

some really extreme situations I

found out that, I think this was

911

:

the ca- well, I, this was the case

at two universities I've worked at.

912

:

If you call public safety for something,

they're gonna check for warrants.

913

:

We

914

:

Beck: Oh, wow

915

:

Dash: way at, at orientation at EKU.

916

:

A student, somebody, I

don't know what happened.

917

:

They locked their keys in their

car or something like that, and we

918

:

called public safety, and they ran

them for warrants, and they had one.

919

:

Beck: Oh.

920

:

Dash: this kid came to

orientation, and their m- parent

921

:

or whoever got, went to jail.

922

:

Beck: That's crazy

923

:

Dash: Yeah.

924

:

Let's, let's listen, let's hear from

this week's sponsor, and then I'll

925

:

tell you why I was looking it up,

'cause I found some other fun stuff.

926

:

this week's episode of Queernecks

is brought to you by topix.net.

927

:

This website started out with

noble intentions, trying to be a

928

:

respectable aggregator for local

news and community announcements.

929

:

Then the founders gave the fine people

of the rural working class an anonymous

930

:

forum in every single zip code in

America, and it instantly turned into

931

:

the information gossip superhighway.

932

:

Back when Facebook was only for

college kids and long before

933

:

Nextdoor, topix was the place where

small town civility went to die.

934

:

It was a digital map of the country

where nobody had to sign their name,

935

:

creating a modern-day telephone party

line fueled by pure, unadulterated

936

:

malice and dial-up internet.

937

:

When you logged into your local topix

page, you skipped the news articles

938

:

entirely and went straight to the forums.

939

:

You were looking at a wall of text

where people accused their neighbors

940

:

of stealing lawnmowers, exposed who

was cheating on who behind the car

941

:

wash, detailed exactly which local high

school football coach was allegedly

942

:

running a pill clinic out of his garage.

943

:

It was a beautiful, terrifying wasteland

of defamation, where the local sheriff

944

:

spent half his shift trying to figure out

who Hollerboy88 actually was in real life.

945

:

And for the queer kids trying

to survive the mid-:

946

:

was a but educational ecosystem.

947

:

It was a place where people

weaponized rumor, but it was also

948

:

the first place you saw proof that

the town was deeply obsessed with

949

:

what happened behind closed doors.

950

:

learned how to read between the lines of

the local slander just to figure out who

951

:

else might be flying under the radar.

952

:

This was a master class in human nature,

and it proved that if you give a small

953

:

town resident a username like Guest304

and a blank text box, they will drop a

954

:

piece of information that will divide

a local church congregation into three

955

:

separate factions by Sunday morning.

956

:

So topix, the now-defunct digital

raveyard where the grudges of:

957

:

are preserved in amber forever.

958

:

And now, back to Queernecks, where we

are still trying to undo the reputational

959

:

damage caused by an anonymous thread

from our sophomore year of high school

960

:

Beck: That was a great one

961

:

Dash: Did you, did, uh, you

have a p- topix where you were

962

:

Beck: Oh yeah, there

were topixes everywhere.

963

:

Um, I was in Huntington at that point.

964

:

Yeah, there was topix.

965

:

That's when I moved from Huntington

to Cincinnati, or to Hamilton

966

:

and there was one there too.

967

:

They were wild

968

:

Dash: Yeah.

969

:

I used to haunt one of this dude

who was so fascinatingly weird.

970

:

He, he was this guy who thought that

he was entitled a beautiful girlfriend

971

:

because, uh, his dad was rich.

972

:

He would just come out and say this stuff,

and he wasn't trolling, that's the thing,

973

:

because I- we had a mutual in real life.

974

:

And people would come on there to

call him stupid and tell him he didn't

975

:

know what he was talking about, and

he would just argue with them all day.

976

:

And, and finally I was like,

"This is this man's life."

977

:

he had a public Facebook.

978

:

He still has a public Facebook,

and occasionally I'll just go and

979

:

look and see what he's up to, and

he's, he's posted on there a couple

980

:

times, "I miss the old topix site."

981

:

I bet you do.

982

:

That was all you did.

983

:

meth

984

:

Beck: the one in Portsmouth, they

had a, uh, uh, somebody posted a

985

:

question, "Do you think Jonas is gay?"

986

:

And, like, God love his soul, Jonas

was one of those people that you

987

:

could see was gay from 100 paces.

988

:

You know?

989

:

Like, the way he moved, the way

he did his hair, the way he spoke,

990

:

the way he moved his hands, the

way he dressed, the way he walked.

991

:

Like, everything about him just screamed

queer, and it just, it made me laugh

992

:

then, and it still makes me laugh now.

993

:

Who was so confused that they

didn't know that Jonas was gay?

994

:

Like

995

:

Dash: They had to make

a topix forum about it.

996

:

Beck: Yeah.

997

:

Like, no shit he's gay.

998

:

Like, you know what I mean?

999

:

your gaydar is so bad

:

00:46:24,078 --> 00:46:28,848

Dash: Yeah, I, I mean, and were never

any about me because I wasn't from there.

:

00:46:29,128 --> 00:46:33,598

But the I don't know if it was a

Williamsburg one or Corbin, was a thread

:

00:46:33,598 --> 00:46:38,338

about, or there was a forum about David

after he died, and I was like, "All right,

:

00:46:38,378 --> 00:46:40,278

I'm just not gonna be on topix anymore."

:

00:46:40,778 --> 00:46:44,978

But it got taken down because people

did sue it for defamation, and topix

:

00:46:44,998 --> 00:46:49,068

had to actually give up the IP addresses

of people who participated in a

:

00:46:49,098 --> 00:46:52,068

thread, defaming this couple that sued.

:

00:46:52,688 --> 00:46:55,028

And so Top- that's where topix went.

:

00:46:55,338 --> 00:46:56,888

They, they, like, got shut down.

:

00:46:57,018 --> 00:46:59,208

But you can still go and look

at some of the old forums on the

:

00:46:59,208 --> 00:47:03,318

WayBack Machine, which is what I was

doing I found that redneck thread

:

00:47:03,818 --> 00:47:06,238

Beck: The Internet Graveyard

is an interesting place

:

00:47:06,798 --> 00:47:11,028

Dash: I like to watch YouTube videos

or like icebergs about weird defunct

:

00:47:11,038 --> 00:47:14,428

sites or things like that, like

the forgotten things of the early

:

00:47:20,355 --> 00:47:23,435

Beck: Do you, did you ever see the

videos from that Matty McTech guy

:

00:47:23,435 --> 00:47:26,755

that says, "Here's an interesting

website you didn't know about"?

:

00:47:27,031 --> 00:47:31,462

did one the other day called Drive

and Listen, like driveandlisten.com.

:

00:47:32,042 --> 00:47:36,932

Um, basically you can Google Maps

hop, um, and drive through traffic

:

00:47:36,942 --> 00:47:40,072

through different cities, and while

at the same time you have a whole

:

00:47:40,072 --> 00:47:41,932

list of their local radio stations.

:

00:47:42,232 --> 00:47:45,082

So you can drive around these

cities and listen to their radio

:

00:47:45,082 --> 00:47:46,502

stations all over the world

:

00:47:47,002 --> 00:47:48,742

Dash: Where does he

find all these websites?

:

00:47:49,242 --> 00:47:52,832

Beck: I could find out, but I spent like a

good 45 minutes on that website yesterday.

:

00:47:52,832 --> 00:47:53,512

It was fun

:

00:47:54,012 --> 00:47:56,452

Driving through Hong Kong

listening to Chinese music

:

00:47:56,952 --> 00:47:57,852

Dash: Oh, that's very cool.

:

00:47:58,352 --> 00:48:04,972

There used to be a, a user on TikTok, a

creator from West Virginia would just,

:

00:48:05,763 --> 00:48:09,903

around on Google Maps, get high and

fuck around on Google Maps, and sort

:

00:48:09,903 --> 00:48:12,363

of narrate what she was looking at.

:

00:48:12,623 --> 00:48:15,513

Some of the best content ever,

and listeners, y'all probably

:

00:48:15,513 --> 00:48:16,373

know who I'm talking about.

:

00:48:16,373 --> 00:48:19,893

And her handle was Sinister Pond Babe,

'cause she would call everything…

:

00:48:19,913 --> 00:48:21,403

She's like, "Oh, that's sinister."

:

00:48:21,653 --> 00:48:27,113

And she was a trans woman, so you- she

had that, like, that West Virginia gay

:

00:48:27,463 --> 00:48:32,303

sort of like s- patois is not the right

word because that's specific to a region,

:

00:48:32,303 --> 00:48:34,023

but you know what I'm getting at, right?

:

00:48:34,023 --> 00:48:35,073

Like, the w- just that way

:

00:48:35,110 --> 00:48:35,470

Beck: Right

:

00:48:36,403 --> 00:48:37,593

Dash: I haven't seen her.

:

00:48:37,593 --> 00:48:40,963

I was, I wish she had a YouTube channel so

that I didn't have to just go on TikTok.

:

00:48:41,463 --> 00:48:44,833

if, if you're listening, Sinister

Pond Babe, make a YouTube channel.

:

00:48:45,333 --> 00:48:48,752

Oh, I would die if, if she was

listening to us But she has rules

:

00:48:48,752 --> 00:48:50,062

that, like, she can live at…

:

00:48:50,072 --> 00:48:52,082

There's, like, there's signs you

can live somewhere if it has,

:

00:48:52,082 --> 00:48:53,882

like, a family Mexican restaurant.

:

00:48:54,382 --> 00:48:57,612

She's like, "Any- anywhere that there's

a, a Mexican restaurant, you can be fine

:

00:48:58,112 --> 00:49:00,202

Beck: Well, there's one in Lucasville,

so I don't know about that.

:

00:49:00,202 --> 00:49:01,622

I couldn't live there, man.

:

00:49:01,712 --> 00:49:02,792

It was real hard

:

00:49:02,797 --> 00:49:03,437

Dash: in Morris.

:

00:49:03,937 --> 00:49:04,417

Beck: Yeah.

:

00:49:04,747 --> 00:49:05,567

It's Senora's.

:

00:49:05,627 --> 00:49:06,607

And they were pretty good.

:

00:49:06,607 --> 00:49:07,097

We ate there.

:

00:49:07,097 --> 00:49:09,477

We ate talk- we ate take out

quite more often than we ate

:

00:49:09,507 --> 00:49:10,737

in the actual restaurant.

:

00:49:11,197 --> 00:49:13,297

But Lucasville is growing

by leaps and bounds.

:

00:49:13,617 --> 00:49:17,987

They put in a, um, a, a

highway that is a byway.

:

00:49:18,337 --> 00:49:21,217

It basically diverts you

completely around Portsmouth.

:

00:49:21,487 --> 00:49:24,877

It used to be you would go down 23

straight down from Columbus in a straight

:

00:49:24,877 --> 00:49:29,167

line, and then you would basically

make a left, um, at the Ohio River,

:

00:49:29,167 --> 00:49:32,167

and then you could go to Huntington or

Ironton or all the way up through there.

:

00:49:32,477 --> 00:49:36,257

And instead of doing that, they

now have a cut between where you

:

00:49:36,257 --> 00:49:38,297

go from Lucasville to Wheelersburg.

:

00:49:38,607 --> 00:49:42,207

Um, it used to be a, a 40-minute

trip, and now it's a 20-minute trip.

:

00:49:42,547 --> 00:49:44,897

And you can completely

bypass all of Portsmouth.

:

00:49:45,217 --> 00:49:47,277

And w- the end of it is in Lucasville.

:

00:49:47,327 --> 00:49:52,447

And so they've got a Taco Bell now,

and they've got a Bigby Coffee now and

:

00:49:52,457 --> 00:49:57,677

a Mexican restaurant, and yeah, things

are starting to po- pop up down there.

:

00:49:58,177 --> 00:50:01,467

Though I did notice the US Bank

was shut down, which good on them.

:

00:50:01,467 --> 00:50:03,467

US Bank is the shittiest bank out there

:

00:50:03,967 --> 00:50:04,177

IMO

:

00:50:04,677 --> 00:50:07,767

Dash: I wonder what's gonna

happen to these little towns

:

00:50:07,807 --> 00:50:09,597

with how the economy's going

:

00:50:10,097 --> 00:50:13,357

Beck: One good thing about down there is

that food is still expensive, but it's a

:

00:50:13,357 --> 00:50:15,507

lot cheaper than in some of the big areas.

:

00:50:15,517 --> 00:50:19,787

Like, um, one time we went to Tutors

and we got like two biscuits and

:

00:50:19,787 --> 00:50:25,029

some apples and a s- and a soda, and

it came to like a $13 or something.

:

00:50:25,029 --> 00:50:26,189

And we were like, "Are you sure?

:

00:50:26,349 --> 00:50:27,439

Did you get everything on the

:

00:50:27,459 --> 00:50:28,959

Like you, you got everything?"

:

00:50:29,499 --> 00:50:33,849

Like, you know, with th- it's $30 to eat

anywhere here in Toledo for two people.

:

00:50:34,349 --> 00:50:34,959

It was wild.

:

00:50:35,029 --> 00:50:37,019

So that's one good thing

they have going for them.

:

00:50:37,019 --> 00:50:39,769

They have the … But on the other

hand, there's no freaking jobs,

:

00:50:39,849 --> 00:50:41,059

so what are you supposed to do?

:

00:50:41,439 --> 00:50:43,189

Buy with … You don't have

money, you don't have…

:

00:50:43,589 --> 00:50:45,929

I mean, there's things to buy,

but no money to buy it with

:

00:50:46,429 --> 00:50:47,559

And it's such a food desert.

:

00:50:47,589 --> 00:50:50,149

There's one Walmart in

all of Scioto County.

:

00:50:50,519 --> 00:50:53,089

There's two Krogers in

all of Scioto County.

:

00:50:53,539 --> 00:50:58,209

There's just so few everything

around town, and those are

:

00:50:58,209 --> 00:50:59,429

the only grocery stores.

:

00:50:59,669 --> 00:51:04,229

There used to be a a Food Fair and

there used to be BG Blackburns, um,

:

00:51:04,229 --> 00:51:07,469

but both, they were independent grocery

stores and they both shut down It's

:

00:51:07,469 --> 00:51:09,289

crazy to see how stuff changes over time

:

00:51:10,281 --> 00:51:10,391

Dash: Yehaw.

:

00:51:10,891 --> 00:51:12,371

Did you bring a noun of

Appalachian interest?

:

00:51:12,871 --> 00:51:13,701

Beck: I sure did.

:

00:51:13,811 --> 00:51:15,771

It's a bit of a somber one today.

:

00:51:16,271 --> 00:51:17,331

Let me see here

:

00:51:17,831 --> 00:51:19,431

Dash: We'll have to be

extra funny next week.

:

00:51:19,931 --> 00:51:20,391

Beck: Yes.

:

00:51:20,891 --> 00:51:22,591

Well, it was unplanned, so.

:

00:51:23,091 --> 00:51:24,621

All right, let me get my glasses here

:

00:51:27,126 --> 00:51:30,476

All right, this week's noun of

Appalachian interest is the Marshall

:

00:51:30,476 --> 00:51:33,686

University Memorial Fountain

in Huntington, West Virginia.

:

00:51:34,196 --> 00:51:37,936

Before we get going, let me start by

acknowledging that this noun is not funny.

:

00:51:38,196 --> 00:51:41,246

No, this is one of those nouns

where Appalachia asks for quiet

:

00:51:41,246 --> 00:51:44,186

first because the story matters

too much to rush past it.

:

00:51:44,886 --> 00:51:46,646

Why does this memorial exist?

:

00:51:46,646 --> 00:51:51,476

th,:

rainy hillside in Wayne County, West

:

00:51:51,476 --> 00:51:56,231

Virginia, the lives of 75 men and

women were lost to the s- worst single

:

00:51:56,231 --> 00:51:58,921

air tragedy in NCAA sports history.

:

00:51:59,321 --> 00:52:02,701

Among the losses were nearly the

entire Marshall University football

:

00:52:02,701 --> 00:52:06,591

team, coaches, flight crew,

numerous fans, and supporters.

:

00:52:06,921 --> 00:52:10,081

The event marked a boundary by which

the entire community would forever

:

00:52:10,081 --> 00:52:13,121

measure time, before or after the crash.

:

00:52:13,531 --> 00:52:17,671

The Marshall Memorial Fountain sits on

the Marshall University campus beside

:

00:52:17,671 --> 00:52:21,651

the Memorial Student Center, where

it honors the 75 people who died.

:

00:52:22,021 --> 00:52:27,051

The fountain was dedicated in November

of:

:

00:52:27,281 --> 00:52:31,331

It was designed by artist Harry

Bertoia, and it is more than 13 feet

:

00:52:31,341 --> 00:52:33,821

tall and weighs about 6,500 pounds.

:

00:52:34,211 --> 00:52:37,311

This fountain is not some little

decorative water feature like you'd

:

00:52:37,311 --> 00:52:41,741

see outside a dentist's office next to

three fake, fake rocks and a sad shrub.

:

00:52:42,091 --> 00:52:43,271

This thing has presence.

:

00:52:43,281 --> 00:52:47,811

It stands there proud and tall like

it knows what it is holding, and what

:

00:52:47,811 --> 00:52:49,771

it is holding is a precious memory.

:

00:52:49,854 --> 00:52:50,204

Dash: Precious

:

00:52:50,381 --> 00:52:53,221

Beck: Every year on November

14th, Marshall holds a memorial

:

00:52:53,221 --> 00:52:54,661

ceremony at the fountain.

:

00:52:54,961 --> 00:52:58,211

A wreath is laid, the names are

remembered, and then the water

:

00:52:58,211 --> 00:53:01,241

is turned off, and it stays

off until the following spring.

:

00:53:01,681 --> 00:53:04,941

Now, that's the part that gets me

because a fountain is supposed to move.

:

00:53:04,951 --> 00:53:06,111

That's the whole job.

:

00:53:06,471 --> 00:53:10,221

The water rises, it falls, it

splashes, and it keeps going.

:

00:53:10,521 --> 00:53:12,881

But at Marshall, once a

year, the movement stops.

:

00:53:12,881 --> 00:53:17,451

The silence becomes part of the memorial,

and that is all very Appalachia to me.

:

00:53:17,461 --> 00:53:20,451

Lord knows people love to flatten

us into sadness and poverty

:

00:53:20,691 --> 00:53:22,121

like that's our whole story.

:

00:53:22,431 --> 00:53:25,731

But Appalachia knows what it means

to keep living from within a loss.

:

00:53:26,011 --> 00:53:28,941

Around here, memory is not

locked away somewhere distant.

:

00:53:29,201 --> 00:53:30,121

It stays close.

:

00:53:30,121 --> 00:53:33,761

It shows up in the places people pass

every day and in the stories which

:

00:53:33,791 --> 00:53:36,851

begin with, "Now, I don't know if

you ever heard about this, but…"

:

00:53:37,351 --> 00:53:41,071

The memorial artist said he wanted

the fountain to honor life, not just

:

00:53:41,071 --> 00:53:45,421

death, with water that rises and falls

and suggests growth and mortality and

:

00:53:45,421 --> 00:53:49,201

eternity, and that is the part that

makes it more than just a monument.

:

00:53:49,491 --> 00:53:51,591

It's not only saying,

"Here is what happened."

:

00:53:51,831 --> 00:53:53,831

It is saying, "Here is who we still carry.

:

00:53:53,831 --> 00:53:55,241

This is how we love and honor."

:

00:53:55,741 --> 00:53:58,571

And for Marshall, that fountain

is also tied to identity.

:

00:53:58,851 --> 00:54:01,601

You cannot really talk about

Marshall without talking about We

:

00:54:01,601 --> 00:54:04,941

Are Marshall, and that phrase is

bigger than just a movie title.

:

00:54:05,181 --> 00:54:08,021

Though, if you haven't seen the movie,

it's a great flick filmed in Huntington.

:

00:54:08,481 --> 00:54:12,081

No, We Are Marshall is a community

motto declaring that we are still here.

:

00:54:12,081 --> 00:54:14,851

We are not replacing the people

we lost, but we are carrying

:

00:54:14,851 --> 00:54:16,581

them with us now and forever.

:

00:54:17,101 --> 00:54:19,141

So I think that is why

this noun matters so much.

:

00:54:19,141 --> 00:54:21,141

The memorial fountain

is not just a fountain.

:

00:54:21,411 --> 00:54:22,261

It is a ritual.

:

00:54:22,261 --> 00:54:24,428

It is a physical festation of grief.

:

00:54:24,698 --> 00:54:25,548

It is school spirit.

:

00:54:25,696 --> 00:54:28,956

Without the tacky foam finger

part, it is a public promise.

:

00:54:29,466 --> 00:54:31,166

Memory sometimes keeps a schedule.

:

00:54:31,166 --> 00:54:33,286

Every November 14th, people gather.

:

00:54:33,626 --> 00:54:35,166

Every year, the water stops.

:

00:54:35,166 --> 00:54:36,786

Every spring, the water returns.

:

00:54:36,796 --> 00:54:38,036

The cycle endures.

:

00:54:38,416 --> 00:54:40,926

And there's something beautiful

about that process, because it

:

00:54:40,936 --> 00:54:42,426

does not pretend grief ends.

:

00:54:42,706 --> 00:54:45,086

It just says grief can

move with the seasons.

:

00:54:45,396 --> 00:54:48,166

Sometimes football is more than

the game, and the Marshall Memorial

:

00:54:48,166 --> 00:54:49,566

Fountain remembers this well.

:

00:54:50,066 --> 00:54:51,996

That's your Noun of Appalachian Interest

:

00:54:54,725 --> 00:54:54,845

Dash: Wow.

:

00:54:55,265 --> 00:54:56,055

I didn't know that.

:

00:54:56,065 --> 00:54:57,455

I just looked it up.

:

00:54:57,455 --> 00:54:58,445

It's beautiful

:

00:54:58,945 --> 00:54:59,335

Beck: Yeah.

:

00:54:59,685 --> 00:55:01,985

It's a, it's a big thing they

cover it on the news every year.

:

00:55:02,395 --> 00:55:05,045

They, they really still honor

the memory of those people.

:

00:55:05,055 --> 00:55:07,755

It w- happened in Kenova, West

Virginia, where the airport is.

:

00:55:07,755 --> 00:55:09,075

It's a tiny little airport.

:

00:55:09,515 --> 00:55:12,985

But it was raining that night, and the,

they were on their way back and the, they

:

00:55:12,985 --> 00:55:16,985

missed the, the landing strip and hit a,

it hit a hill, and it killed everybody

:

00:55:16,985 --> 00:55:19,938

on the plane Oh, you've seen it?

:

00:55:20,438 --> 00:55:21,568

Dash: No, I haven't seen the movie

:

00:55:21,987 --> 00:55:22,277

Beck: Oh.

:

00:55:22,637 --> 00:55:24,817

We, when I lived there,

they were filming it.

:

00:55:24,837 --> 00:55:28,257

One time we were on our way to

work at Amazon, and we were coming

:

00:55:28,257 --> 00:55:32,307

down, uh, 3rd Avenue or 4th Avenue,

I can't remember, 4th Avenue.

:

00:55:32,677 --> 00:55:36,937

And Matthew McConaughey was standing

beside the street in his '70s outfit,

:

00:55:36,937 --> 00:55:38,567

'cause it was from the '70s, right?

:

00:55:38,977 --> 00:55:43,117

So he was dressed in '70s apparel, and

he was on his cell phone by a dumpster,

:

00:55:43,117 --> 00:55:46,157

and we like, I screamed like a straight

girl and nearly ran my car off the

:

00:55:46,157 --> 00:55:48,087

road, 'cause I was like, "Oh, my God."

:

00:55:48,697 --> 00:55:52,067

But then there was a couple of scenes

that we actually watched being filmed.

:

00:55:52,397 --> 00:55:55,407

Um, at the beginning of the movie, the,

there, there's a couple of kids who are

:

00:55:55,407 --> 00:55:58,947

hurt on the football team, and so they

don't go on the trip, and they're at the

:

00:55:58,947 --> 00:56:02,047

movies, and then there's all the sirens

and all the stuff that happens, and they

:

00:56:02,047 --> 00:56:03,547

come running out of the movie theater.

:

00:56:03,977 --> 00:56:07,457

And we were s- we were in a

parking garage across the street

:

00:56:07,457 --> 00:56:09,087

watching them film the whole thing.

:

00:56:09,497 --> 00:56:12,737

And there's pe- I, we know people

in the extras and like all of the…

:

00:56:12,737 --> 00:56:13,707

It's, it's very…

:

00:56:13,987 --> 00:56:16,977

They, they go to Jim's Spaghetti,

which I've eaten at several times.

:

00:56:17,267 --> 00:56:18,567

Um, it was just, it's really neat.

:

00:56:18,657 --> 00:56:21,347

It, it's a, they do a good

job representing Huntington.

:

00:56:21,847 --> 00:56:24,007

If you've not s- if you've

not seen it, I recommend it

:

00:56:24,507 --> 00:56:24,867

Dash: Getting which I

read it several times.

:

00:56:24,867 --> 00:56:24,917

It's just, it's really neat.

:

00:56:24,917 --> 00:56:25,047

It, it's, uh, they do a good job

representing us We should add

:

00:56:25,047 --> 00:56:25,687

this If not needed, I recommend

that We could add it to the wheel.

:

00:56:26,497 --> 00:56:31,367

So s- somebody get the web administrator

of the University of Marshall on

:

00:56:31,367 --> 00:56:35,277

the phone for me, please, because

this website is a fucking disaster.

:

00:56:35,287 --> 00:56:37,137

Every link I click on is dead.

:

00:56:37,437 --> 00:56:39,007

Tell me about the fountain

:

00:56:39,871 --> 00:56:41,501

Beck: That seems right

on brand for Marshall

:

00:56:41,961 --> 00:56:42,121

Dash: Isn't it?

:

00:56:42,621 --> 00:56:42,941

Beck: Yeah.

:

00:56:45,351 --> 00:56:48,091

When I moved to Huntington, I

applied there but never went.

:

00:56:48,091 --> 00:56:49,911

I never signed up for classes or whatever.

:

00:56:50,331 --> 00:56:54,101

Um, Shanna went there, so she, that was

where she spent her first two years of

:

00:56:54,101 --> 00:56:56,741

college, but she finished at Miami with me

:

00:57:02,254 --> 00:57:04,304

My neighbor's kid got a karaoke machine.

:

00:57:04,304 --> 00:57:06,354

Can you imagine how

excited I am about that?

:

00:57:06,854 --> 00:57:07,644

Dash: Go out there and join them

:

00:57:08,144 --> 00:57:10,724

Beck: It's better than the high school

band that lived in my front yard

:

00:57:11,224 --> 00:57:12,534

Dash: What's your karaoke song?

:

00:57:13,034 --> 00:57:17,254

Beck: Me and Bobby motherfucking

McGee busted flat in Baton Rouge

:

00:57:17,771 --> 00:57:20,301

Dash: Chri- the Janis version or

the Kris Kristofferson version?

:

00:57:20,834 --> 00:57:22,494

Beck: Oh, the Janis version for sure.

:

00:57:22,677 --> 00:57:22,687

Dash: Yehaw

:

00:57:22,804 --> 00:57:25,364

Beck: Me and my best friend would get up

and sing that, like, every time we went to

:

00:57:25,364 --> 00:57:29,204

the Midnight Cowboy, or the Midnight Rodeo

is what it was called, the Midnight Rodeo.

:

00:57:29,464 --> 00:57:31,104

They had a bull that we would ride.

:

00:57:31,554 --> 00:57:32,784

It was, it was hilarious.

:

00:57:32,794 --> 00:57:33,814

It was a good time.

:

00:57:33,824 --> 00:57:37,174

That's where mom, we went with

mom when she let us pick the bar

:

00:57:37,674 --> 00:57:39,844

Dash: Did you ever do

karaoke in Bowling Green?

:

00:57:40,344 --> 00:57:40,714

Beck: Nope.

:

00:57:41,214 --> 00:57:43,754

The only bar I was ever in

in Bowling Green was Grumpy

:

00:57:43,754 --> 00:57:45,274

Dave's, and I went to trivia

:

00:57:45,774 --> 00:57:46,584

Dash: Well, that's what it was.

:

00:57:46,584 --> 00:57:48,364

We, it, they had a karaoke night too.

:

00:57:48,864 --> 00:57:51,224

we went up there I was there infrequently.

:

00:57:51,234 --> 00:57:54,794

It was, it was always because of

some s- I made some friends that had

:

00:57:54,794 --> 00:57:58,984

graduated from the program prior,

and they still lived in town, and

:

00:57:58,994 --> 00:58:00,134

they would always wanna go there.

:

00:58:00,581 --> 00:58:06,511

so yeah, the, we went to a karaoke

night, and Eric was there with us.

:

00:58:06,561 --> 00:58:11,551

And he is a, he's like a really

good singer, which I didn't know.

:

00:58:11,621 --> 00:58:16,481

But also, the song he chose to do was

Ring of Fire by Johnny Cash, and he was

:

00:58:16,598 --> 00:58:17,028

Beck: Oh, wow

:

00:58:17,111 --> 00:58:20,651

Dash: dead-on good at it that we

thought the radio was playing.

:

00:58:20,681 --> 00:58:22,721

Like, he didn't tell us

he was going to do it.

:

00:58:23,141 --> 00:58:27,521

I just noticed he was gone, and Ring

of Fire was playing, and I just s- it

:

00:58:27,521 --> 00:58:29,111

sounded like the Johnny Cash version.

:

00:58:29,531 --> 00:58:32,991

And so then I, I just looked

over, and I was like, "Oh my God,

:

00:58:33,001 --> 00:58:34,761

that's Eric singing this song."

:

00:58:34,781 --> 00:58:38,491

And so our whole table just got up and ran

over there, and we're like, "You didn't

:

00:58:39,671 --> 00:58:39,891

Beck: That's

:

00:58:39,901 --> 00:58:40,541

awesome

:

00:58:41,730 --> 00:58:43,670

Dash: Uh, I don't think

I've done it since…

:

00:58:43,720 --> 00:58:46,070

Well, I haven't done it since

I transitioned, but I was…

:

00:58:46,570 --> 00:58:46,980

What did I…

:

00:58:47,020 --> 00:58:49,130

I w- I, I remember doing Fiona Apple

:

00:58:49,630 --> 00:58:50,870

Beck: That's a good one, like criminal

:

00:58:51,257 --> 00:58:52,207

Dash: I, I did that one.

:

00:58:52,267 --> 00:58:57,327

I, I remember having a lot of fun doing

her cover of that Beatles song, Nothing…

:

00:58:57,367 --> 00:58:58,297

What is that song?

:

00:58:58,797 --> 00:59:00,607

She did it for the

Pleasantville soundtrack

:

00:59:01,415 --> 00:59:02,305

Beck: I just watched that the other night

:

00:59:02,805 --> 00:59:05,265

Dash: Nothing's gonna

change my world or whatever.

:

00:59:05,538 --> 00:59:08,778

Beck: Nothing's gonna change my world.

:

00:59:09,278 --> 00:59:09,648

Yeah

:

00:59:10,054 --> 00:59:12,584

Dash: like her cover of that,

it's a really good cover, so I

:

00:59:12,584 --> 00:59:14,424

did that at karaoke once at…

:

00:59:14,534 --> 00:59:15,864

Oh, it was at Hooters.

:

00:59:17,937 --> 00:59:19,917

Karaoke at Hooters was awesome.

:

00:59:21,017 --> 00:59:22,887

there's like the…

:

00:59:23,297 --> 00:59:26,937

Was it Thursday night party scene

for you when you were in college?

:

00:59:27,437 --> 00:59:29,357

Beck: You know, I didn't party a lot.

:

00:59:29,387 --> 00:59:31,807

My friends and I smoked

pot, and so we would do that

:

00:59:31,807 --> 00:59:33,207

basically any night of the week.

:

00:59:33,567 --> 00:59:36,917

Um, we didn't have a lot of money,

and drinking has never really been

:

00:59:36,917 --> 00:59:39,247

my thing, so, and plus going to bars.

:

00:59:39,547 --> 00:59:42,437

I was considered, I was not

really fat at that time.

:

00:59:42,437 --> 00:59:43,537

I was a bigger girl.

:

00:59:43,787 --> 00:59:48,047

So at Miami, I was considered obese

because I was like a size 14 or whatever.

:

00:59:48,357 --> 00:59:49,997

Um, so I didn't go out a lot.

:

00:59:50,007 --> 00:59:53,107

And plus I wasn't part of the

fraternity or sorority life,

:

00:59:53,407 --> 00:59:55,097

um, which was so big at Miami.

:

00:59:55,687 --> 00:59:56,897

So my answer is no.

:

00:59:56,947 --> 00:59:58,567

I, I did, I didn't go out a lot

:

00:59:59,157 --> 00:59:59,747

Dash: so you don't know.

:

00:59:59,747 --> 01:00:02,937

Well, at EKU it was Thurs- at

most colleges it's Thursdays

:

01:00:02,957 --> 01:00:04,367

because kids go home on weekends.

:

01:00:04,367 --> 01:00:06,557

EKU was a suitcase

college back in the day,

:

01:00:07,114 --> 01:00:07,524

Beck: Yehaw

:

01:00:07,663 --> 01:00:09,483

Dash: go out and do their

partying on Thursdays.

:

01:00:09,503 --> 01:00:13,603

And so because of that, all the

businesses would have their Thursday

:

01:00:13,603 --> 01:00:18,993

night programming to, you know, try

to cultivate re- repeat customers.

:

01:00:19,393 --> 01:00:22,613

So the bowling alley, for

instance, they had their…

:

01:00:22,623 --> 01:00:24,133

It was 50 cent game night.

:

01:00:24,443 --> 01:00:29,283

And had 50 cent wings and karaoke.

:

01:00:29,413 --> 01:00:34,393

So the, me and the, the kids from

my f- dorm, we would go to Hooters

:

01:00:34,393 --> 01:00:36,533

and have, you know, wings there.

:

01:00:37,213 --> 01:00:41,243

Uh, so it, maybe Richmond it was a better,

better environment for Thursday night

:

01:00:41,243 --> 01:00:42,713

programming that didn't involve drinking.

:

01:00:43,373 --> 01:00:47,303

Because also, like, that was when

it changed from being able to get

:

01:00:47,303 --> 01:00:49,603

into a club at 18, you had to be 21.

:

01:00:50,103 --> 01:00:53,663

somebody had to take over stuff

for the people under, that

:

01:00:53,663 --> 01:00:54,783

weren't, that couldn't drink

:

01:00:55,080 --> 01:00:55,090

Beck: Yehaw

:

01:00:55,778 --> 01:00:59,518

Oxford was so small, we didn't

have a lot of places you could go.

:

01:00:59,828 --> 01:01:04,468

you either went to the bars or the

restaurants were either like Wendy's or so

:

01:01:04,468 --> 01:01:06,248

upscale you had to dress up to go there.

:

01:01:06,248 --> 01:01:07,958

There was like no in between.

:

01:01:08,528 --> 01:01:08,958

So

:

01:01:09,179 --> 01:01:09,759

Dash: Yeah.

:

01:01:10,029 --> 01:01:13,509

That was the best thing about Richmond

was all the opportunities to socialize.

:

01:01:13,509 --> 01:01:18,269

Like, going to school at EKU

was a very social experience.

:

01:01:18,839 --> 01:01:20,839

EKU used to be famous

for being a party school.

:

01:01:20,839 --> 01:01:22,249

I don't think it is anymore

:

01:01:22,749 --> 01:01:26,029

Beck: BGSU is definitely a party

school still, well known for it

:

01:01:26,677 --> 01:01:28,727

Dash: I remember living

across the street from…

:

01:01:28,777 --> 01:01:34,626

Well, I lived downtown, and um, the

worst day of the whole year was St.

:

01:01:34,626 --> 01:01:35,416

Patrick's Day.

:

01:01:35,716 --> 01:01:39,116

Those monsters would get up at 6:00 AM put

:

01:01:39,247 --> 01:01:39,667

Beck: yeah

:

01:01:40,167 --> 01:01:44,017

Dash: and go, go down to the Stone's

Throw and drink their breakfast.

:

01:01:44,517 --> 01:01:46,867

And, like, Stone's Throw would open early.

:

01:01:46,877 --> 01:01:49,847

They would do, like, a, an Irish

breakfast, right, with, like, the

:

01:01:49,847 --> 01:01:54,037

sauerkraut and all that stuff, then

they would give them the beer, and they

:

01:01:54,037 --> 01:01:57,147

would s- like, some of them, they'd be

falling out in the street by:

:

01:01:57,147 --> 01:01:57,177

Beck: Oh yeah.

:

01:01:57,857 --> 01:02:02,177

They had Green Beer Day at Miami because

Miami wisened up and would generally

:

01:02:02,177 --> 01:02:04,267

traditionally make spring break over St.

:

01:02:04,267 --> 01:02:07,507

Patrick's holiday, um, that way

that they wouldn't be in town.

:

01:02:07,517 --> 01:02:09,487

So they came up with Green Beer Day.

:

01:02:09,747 --> 01:02:12,907

They have T-shirts and everything for

Green Beer Day, and the bars open at like

:

01:02:12,907 --> 01:02:16,507

4:00 in the morning, and people are drunk

going to their classes, and everybody has

:

01:02:16,507 --> 01:02:19,477

a green tongue, and it's a whole thing.

:

01:02:19,557 --> 01:02:20,537

It's disgusting

:

01:02:21,179 --> 01:02:22,038

passed out in the bushes

:

01:02:22,538 --> 01:02:23,489

Dash: I used to at…

:

01:02:23,489 --> 01:02:26,909

So when I worked at SIU, I would

on the high drinking days, of which

:

01:02:26,909 --> 01:02:29,568

there were many, they had drinking…

:

01:02:29,598 --> 01:02:33,598

Like, it was not just they had unofficial

Halloween, real Halloween, uh, St.

:

01:02:33,598 --> 01:02:36,388

Paddy's Day, and then they had

these things called Polar and Solar

:

01:02:36,388 --> 01:02:39,038

Bear, which were just, I think

they were at the equinoxes, and

:

01:02:39,038 --> 01:02:40,538

they were just downtown parties.

:

01:02:41,228 --> 01:02:48,128

And, uh, I would just go for my walks

in the middle of the day and kind of

:

01:02:48,138 --> 01:02:50,258

be on the lookout for the ones that…

:

01:02:50,758 --> 01:02:53,328

There's like, there's, there's

a certain way to time a day

:

01:02:53,328 --> 01:02:54,918

like that wrong, you know?

:

01:02:55,078 --> 01:02:57,805

And you don't know you've

done it until it's too late.

:

01:02:57,815 --> 01:03:02,105

So they, they would be out there,

like, laying down under a bush asleep

:

01:03:02,105 --> 01:03:03,655

or something, like trying to…

:

01:03:03,955 --> 01:03:06,715

'Cause it's also a mobile party, like

you're going from house to house.

:

01:03:07,215 --> 01:03:10,025

so I'm like, "I guess I'll just

go out and look for them," because

:

01:03:10,025 --> 01:03:11,145

these kids can't be trusted.

:

01:03:13,763 --> 01:03:19,770

Well, let's see, what kind of game or

whatever we're gonna do for next week

:

01:03:20,270 --> 01:03:20,830

Beck: All right

:

01:03:21,330 --> 01:03:24,160

Dash: Let me give this of what have ye.

:

01:03:24,660 --> 01:03:29,790

Oh, So we landed on book

report, or I expanded it to

:

01:03:29,790 --> 01:03:32,260

just mean, like, media report.

:

01:03:32,620 --> 01:03:39,090

So I'll probably give a report on whatever

YouTube deep dive I watched most recently.

:

01:03:39,590 --> 01:03:42,820

in fact, last night I stayed up

late watching an interesting one.

:

01:03:43,120 --> 01:03:44,970

So it can be, it can be anything.

:

01:03:44,970 --> 01:03:48,190

It can be literally the book

you're reading or you, you could

:

01:03:48,190 --> 01:03:51,040

give us a presentation about your

dissertation chapter you're working on

:

01:03:51,540 --> 01:03:53,040

Beck: Yeah, that wouldn't

put everyone to sleep

:

01:03:53,540 --> 01:03:54,860

Dash: I trust you to be funny.

:

01:03:55,826 --> 01:03:58,056

Beck: I'm on, I'm working

on chapter two right now, so

:

01:03:58,556 --> 01:04:03,453

Dash: Yehaw Yeah, I'll try to make

whatever s- silly thing I, I or read

:

01:04:03,453 --> 01:04:06,553

last sound, sound entertaining to people

:

01:04:07,010 --> 01:04:08,980

Beck: I watch a lot of movies

when Shannon's at work.

:

01:04:09,360 --> 01:04:13,130

So I'll see what I find this week

Too bad I already gave you the

:

01:04:13,130 --> 01:04:16,920

Jehovah's Witness movie and the

Masters of the Universe today, so

:

01:04:17,420 --> 01:04:19,210

Oh no, I have to watch a movie

:

01:04:19,710 --> 01:04:20,230

Dash: Yeah, right.

:

01:04:22,329 --> 01:04:23,719

Oi, what are you gonna

do the rest of the day?

:

01:04:24,219 --> 01:04:26,869

Beck: Shanna wants to do something,

so I'll probably get a shower and

:

01:04:26,869 --> 01:04:30,059

get myself cleaned up, and, um,

I don't know what we'll get into.

:

01:04:30,349 --> 01:04:33,649

Probably go find something to eat and,

uh, maybe go to a park or something.

:

01:04:34,129 --> 01:04:37,469

Um, we're working on Rue with a leash,

and she's been doing so much better.

:

01:04:37,809 --> 01:04:39,479

we got her to pee outside

a couple of times.

:

01:04:39,489 --> 01:04:42,009

That was really good, so she's

coming along pretty quickly.

:

01:04:42,519 --> 01:04:44,119

So we'll probably go to

the park again today.

:

01:04:44,619 --> 01:04:45,179

What about you?

:

01:04:45,679 --> 01:04:47,149

Dash: I, I wanna leave the house as well.

:

01:04:47,199 --> 01:04:53,719

I've been stuck in analysis paralysis

lately, and I'm prone to those Uh, anytime

:

01:04:53,759 --> 01:04:59,179

I have more than a couple things to, to

get done at a time I just kinda get stuck.

:

01:04:59,897 --> 01:05:02,857

haven't left the house in a couple

days, so I wanna make sure I do that.

:

01:05:02,877 --> 01:05:04,457

Go for a walk or a bike ride.

:

01:05:04,637 --> 01:05:04,647

Beck: Yehaw

:

01:05:05,182 --> 01:05:09,996

Dash: a f- our, uh, one of our, uh,

YouTube followers, person who, who keeps

:

01:05:09,996 --> 01:05:14,696

up with us there, Techno Pop Tart, had

a theory about why the Foxy Merkins was

:

01:05:14,696 --> 01:05:17,286

called, why the merkin thing was there.

:

01:05:17,676 --> 01:05:22,206

And so what they said was that because

a merkin is a facade, it's like a fake

:

01:05:22,466 --> 01:05:28,106

version of a real thing that you use to

put on top of it kind of, like, create an

:

01:05:28,106 --> 01:05:32,496

illusion, hide who you really are which

I think there's definitely something

:

01:05:32,506 --> 01:05:34,516

in there, like something to that.

:

01:05:35,016 --> 01:05:35,826

Do you remember…

:

01:05:36,526 --> 01:05:38,246

This is very cultural studies.

:

01:05:38,296 --> 01:05:40,856

So like this, uh, uh, Jean…

:

01:05:40,956 --> 01:05:41,536

Not Jean.

:

01:05:41,536 --> 01:05:42,006

Goddammit.

:

01:05:42,076 --> 01:05:42,536

What's his name?

:

01:05:42,546 --> 01:05:43,076

Baudrillard.

:

01:05:43,076 --> 01:05:44,586

I don't remember Baudrillard's first name.

:

01:05:45,166 --> 01:05:49,546

Had this concept of the simulacra,

which is, like, a thing that is so

:

01:05:49,596 --> 01:05:53,366

hyperreal that it becomes the version

of a thing that we think of, even

:

01:05:53,366 --> 01:05:54,826

though it's not the real version of it.

:

01:05:55,226 --> 01:05:58,556

And so that's, the merkin is

kind of like the hyperreal

:

01:05:59,453 --> 01:06:02,253

illusion of what is in a vagina.

:

01:06:02,363 --> 01:06:02,773

I don't know.

:

01:06:03,273 --> 01:06:06,593

And in, in this paper, I w-

I'm gonna write that paper.

:

01:06:06,843 --> 01:06:11,824

I'm gonna cite Techno Pop Tart and

submit it to the Women's Studies Journal.

:

01:06:12,863 --> 01:06:13,173

Beck: Mm-hmm.

:

01:06:13,473 --> 01:06:14,373

Just cite your cat.

:

01:06:14,383 --> 01:06:16,713

That's what most au- that's

what a lot of authors do.

:

01:06:17,213 --> 01:06:18,833

There was a guy who

wrote a paper and used…

:

01:06:18,883 --> 01:06:22,953

Yeah, he wrote we in, in his paper,

and he was a single author, and

:

01:06:22,953 --> 01:06:25,793

so they made him, like, add a

co-author, and he added his cat.

:

01:06:26,293 --> 01:06:27,333

Totally what I would do

:

01:06:27,833 --> 01:06:28,233

Dash: Right.

:

01:06:28,383 --> 01:06:28,513

Me

:

01:06:37,144 --> 01:06:37,274

All right, everybody.

:

01:06:37,274 --> 01:06:37,884

Well, thanks for hanging

out with us another week.

:

01:06:37,994 --> 01:06:42,584

I woke up and got on mic, so if, if

we didn't sound organized, th- you

:

01:06:42,675 --> 01:06:43,035

Beck: weren't.

:

01:06:43,056 --> 01:06:43,796

Dash: can get, okay?

:

01:06:44,006 --> 01:06:44,666

We do our best.

:

01:06:45,968 --> 01:06:47,878

We, we show up 'cause we love ye.

:

01:06:48,467 --> 01:06:48,727

keep…

:

01:06:48,777 --> 01:06:51,477

Hope you're out there doing fun

Pride things or doing whatever it

:

01:06:51,477 --> 01:06:53,887

is you do to, uh, observe Pride.

:

01:06:54,387 --> 01:06:55,937

And fuck the man.

:

01:06:56,581 --> 01:06:57,251

Beck: Yehaw, fuck the law.

:

01:06:58,114 --> 01:06:59,044

Dash: hi to your mom and them

:

01:06:59,436 --> 01:06:59,796

Beck: Bye

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QUEERNECKS
Queer Appalachian Stories & Culture.
Join the lively hosts of QUEERNECKS for a unique podcast experience exploring the intersection of Appalachian culture and the LGBTQ+ experience. Dive into engaging stories, humorous anecdotes, and thoughtful discussions on everything from Appalachian traditions and local life to current events, LGBTQ+ issues, and building an inclusive community. If you're looking for a podcast that blends authentic Appalachian voices with insightful queer perspectives, offering both laughter and meaningful connection, then welcome to the QUEERNECKS family. Subscribe now and be part of our growing community!
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