Episode 30

full
Published on:

22nd Dec 2025

More Power to Ye

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It's the Christmas episode! We're planning a hastily thorn together New Years Eve party. Subscribe to the newsletter to keep updated!

Check out Charles Kuralt's 1964 episode of On The Road, from Letcher County, Kentucky, "Christmas in Appalachia": https://youtu.be/qbUwR2K0s9A?si=UvPyOmnXAa2WK2RL

00:00 Introduction and Host Banter

00:18 Cat Antics and Time Perception

01:26 Back Pain and Doctor's Advice

02:07 Coffee Preferences and Decaf Dilemma

04:31 Soup Discussions and Favorite Recipes

06:29 Picky Eaters and Food Anxiety

11:59 Childhood Food Memories

14:18 Appalachian Life and Historical Reflections

25:51 Social Spaces and Queer Community Ideas

28:39 Dissertation Challenges and Academic Life

33:47 Unexpected Name Revelation

34:39 Academic Achievements and Challenges

37:26 Student Evaluations and Feedback

41:02 AI in Academia

48:10 Heating and Housing Stories

48:17 The Heart of the Home: Potbelly Coal Stove

56:20 Appalachian Life and Culture

59:23 New Year's Plans and Podcast Updates

01:04:11 Holiday Wishes and Farewell

Transcript
Speaker:

Welcome to Queernecks the podcast that

puts the Yee Hall in y'all means hall.

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:

I'm your host, Beck, and I'm your host.

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:

Dash.

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Welcome to today's episode.

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dash_17_12-20-2025_113750:

I am surrounded by cats.

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Like I don't even know where

they all were five minutes ago.

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And now that we're recording,

they're staring at me

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beck_17_12-20-2025_123750:

Is it lunchtime?

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dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: in half an hour

and I know they don't know the difference.

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Right.

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What's a half hour to a cat?

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beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: Oh no.

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They know the difference for sure.

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When we had the time

change, baby knew she knew.

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dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Well,

and this is their first year.

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It's not their first winter here, but

like last winter we lived in the, in the

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dorm and there wasn't a lot of light.

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And here it's like we have a ton

of natural light in the house here.

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And so the sun sets at like

3 45 and that's new for them.

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They've never lived anywhere

that it was quite that extreme.

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so yeah, anytime it's basically

we get up on noon, they're like.

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It could be dinner time,

it could be tomorrow.

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We don't know.

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It's gonna take your word for

it, that everything's okay.

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Like time's not real.

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beck_17_12-20-2025_123750:

It is all an illusion.

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dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Mm-hmm.

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beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: The only thing

that's real is back pain, my friend.

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dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Lord,

let me tell you about that.

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The doctor prescribed me,

um, warm liquids and walks.

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So I'm, I'm a 80-year-old man basically

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because they intubated me twice because

the first time they fucked it up.

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And then the surgery itself,

they went in through my neck.

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So it all just hurts like hell in there.

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And she was like, yeah, like alternate

heat and ice on the outside and

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just have hot liquids all the time.

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And I was like, well, so you're

saying drink coffee all day?

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All right.

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She's like, that is not what I said.

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did not say to mainline

caffeine all the time.

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So I had to do something

that I have not done.

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I'm not gonna say I've never owned

before, but like it's been a long time.

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Like I don't remember the last

time Decaffeinated coffee grounds

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crossed my door, what's it called?

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Doorframe across my, what is that called?

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What's the name of

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beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: Um,

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dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Doorstep?

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beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: threshold.

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dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Yeah.

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Threshold.

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anyway, so I had to buy some of that stuff

and I still don't like the taste of it.

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I know it could be, it

could be made up, right.

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It could not be real, but I swear

I can taste the difference between

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decaffeinated and regular coffee.

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beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: I'm

sure there is a difference.

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I wish I liked coffee.

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It's just not in the cards for me.

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I went to Flatlands and BG and

they told me, the guy was like,

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I'm gonna make you drink coffee.

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And I was like, you can try.

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dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Oh,

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beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: the

first, yeah, the first thing he

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tried, I was like, it was like

very light, like no coffee in it.

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I was like, this is disgusting.

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Like I, I don't know what you want me to

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say.

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I told you I don't.

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dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: you can go too

light with it, where you're just basically

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drinking kind of dirty hot water.

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And that's not gonna be, I don't

know that that's really showcasing

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the best that coffee has to offer.

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but I do like sympathize with, ' , you

know, somebody says like, have

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hot drinks all day long and

you're a coffee drinker, great.

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But no, you physically cannot

drink coffee all day long.

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You have to.

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There's gotta be something else.

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And I don't like anything else.

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beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: Not hot

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chocolate.

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dash_17_12-20-2025_113750:

No, not hot chocolate.

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Not, tea.

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I don't really like tea, like.

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beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: Me either.

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dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: To drink

tea, I have to put milk and sugar in

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it, and then, then it becomes something

that's really unhealthy to have all day.

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So that's not what they mean either,

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beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: There's

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always apple cider, hot apple cider.

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dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Yeah.

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I haven't tried that one yet.

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That's true.

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I,

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beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: There's a, you

can get a box mix like an instant packet.

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dash_17_12-20-2025_113750:

what does it taste like?

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beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: It's good.

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dash_17_12-20-2025_113750:

is it sweet or is it dry?

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beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: It's sweet.

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dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Okay.

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I've, uh, I like malted milk, but I've

only ever had it cold, like with ice

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cream, you know, like a malt that way

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beck_17_12-20-2025_123750:

Shanna's a big fan of that too.

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She's a big Whopper fan.

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dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: in, um,

England there's something they have

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called Bavel that they have when it's

cold and it's literally just, it's

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soup, but they drink it and it's,

it's kind of like bullion, I guess.

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I only know about it because I consume

a ton of, British like content.

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But I thought like that might

be kind of nice actually.

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'cause it's, you know, salty,

it's kind of like a meal too.

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beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: Right.

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dash_17_12-20-2025_113750:

And I like broth.

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beck_17_12-20-2025_123750:

What's your favorite soup ever?

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dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Oh lord.

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Hmm.

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beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: I

have a dark one and a light one.

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dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: I

was just about to say like,

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there's, different kinds of.

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Of soups and then there's, you

know, is it a super as stew?

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What's, what's yours?

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beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: Well,

chili, which is technically a soup.

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I

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dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Yeah.

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beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: chili.

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Um, but chicken tortilla soup

was probably my favorite.

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dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: My cousin,

Tracy makes, makes that, and that hers

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is the only version I've ever tried.

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I've been around it before,

but like at Buffets I'll have

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it, but I've never tried it.

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beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: The chichis,

I don't know if you remember the

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restaurant Chichis, they had the best

chicken tortilla soup in the world.

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It was a chain, uh, like a, a faux

Mexican like mexicana kind of food.

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Um, but they would bring you a

bowl and there would be like a

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pile of chicken and chilies and

cheese in the middle of the bowl.

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And then they'd bring you a little

container, um, a little pouring bottle

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of, uh, hot soup and you would pour

it over it and everything would melt.

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And it was phenomenal.

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dash_17_12-20-2025_113750:

that sounds like exquisite.

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beck_17_12-20-2025_123750:

Yes, I miss it every day.

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dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Hmm.

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beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: It's one of

those things, they can't have it anymore.

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So you think about it all the time.

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dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: I'm a big

fan of, like Japanese soups, like,

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um, ramen or Vietnamese soup, like pho

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beck_17_12-20-2025_123750:

I've never tried it.

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dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: you

know, you live, well, I don't know

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how far 'cause you're north of bg.

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This would be west over in, um,

what's the name of that town?

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Right next to the west.

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It starts with a p

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beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: Perrysburg.

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dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Harrisburg.

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There's a place there called Bangkok

Kitchen that has, pretty delicious.

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It's a little more

Pan-Asian than purely Thai.

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Like, it has, a a selection

of, of various, Asian things.

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It even has some, like.

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sub continental things like, um, curry,

like Indian things, but they have a

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really good selection of soups there

that, you know, you can't really go

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wrong with But yeah, I mean, if you

ever get over there, I'm, I never had

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anything there that I didn't like.

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Love

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beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: The

problem is my wife is the pickiest

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eater that has ever been born.

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Like I think she has that, uh, arfid.

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she has at least some variation

of it because she eats the same.

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So we order Mexican food a lot

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dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Mm-hmm.

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beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: like right

behind our house and they'll have tacos

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here in 20 minutes and it's fabulous.

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Um, but we've always been a Mexican

restaurant going couple and in the

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thousand times that we've probably been

to a Mexican restaurant in the last

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22 years, she has ordered something,

not chicken nachos like twice.

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dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Hmm.

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beck_17_12-20-2025_123750:

And I'm not exaggerating.

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She orders the exact, and it's

chicken, cheese, and tomatoes

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and that's all she eats.

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We go to Taco Bell, she gets a

Mexican pizza and she gets two

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crunchy tacos, you know, and she's

happy with that kind of diet.

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She doesn't, if we get Chinese

food, she gets a, a bowl of soup.

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She gets the egg drop, not

the egg drop, the wonton soup.

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dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Mm-hmm.

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beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: and she eats

the chicken from the sweet and sour.

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No rice, no potatoes,

no C crab, rangoon, no

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dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Yeah.

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beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: no anything.

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And so it's kind of a waste to

take her to those kind of places

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'cause she won't eat in them.

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need a friend that will go with me.

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dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: yeah, you do.

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You need a, you need a,

a, a food date friend.

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cause yeah, I mean, you don't,

you don't want to push somebody to

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do something that's uncomfortable

just so you can try something else.

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beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: We had a

gift card to Olive Garden one time

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that we got for Christmas or something.

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Um, because she has a real

problem wasting money on food.

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dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Mm-hmm.

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beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: other thing.

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She doesn't wanna waste some

money and then not like it.

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we grew up poor, you know, and

so we went to Olive Garden.

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We weren't wasting any money.

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You know, we had plenty on the gift card

to cover it and she tried some kind of

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butter chicken or whatever it was, and she

was so anxious about it that she threw up.

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dash_17_12-20-2025_113750:

Anxious that she wouldn't like it.

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beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: Yeah.

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Or that it would taste funny in her mouth

or have a weird mouth feel or whatever

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dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Yeah,

that's, that's an an, that's for sure.

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Anxiety there.

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beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: Yeah.

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But that's what we deal with anytime

we try to some, try something.

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Um, new though, she

surprises me sometimes.

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Like we went to the spaghetti

warehouse and she tried the

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rigatoni there and really liked it.

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Um, she got it without the ricotta, but.

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dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Well, in, uh,

, I didn't live with Eric, but , we spent

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pretty much every second together, the,

all the whole time I lived out there.

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Um, and we lived across

the hall from each other.

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So, you know, our lives

were pretty intertwined.

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And he also, uh, he

describes his eating habits.

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He'll say, I don't like flavor.

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So

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for him, and it's not, I

don't think he means that he

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doesn't enjoy certain things.

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He's basically saying to you

like the blandest, you can

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make it subtract something.

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And that's how I want it.

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And, and so everywhere we went,

he had very, his very specific

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things that he would eat.

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you, you want to go somewhere If somebody

is, is like that, you wanna go somewhere.

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They can depend on having

something that they like.

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and so what we wound up doing was

anytime we would get together, I'd

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be like, okay, I'm gonna, I'm gonna

put in my order at South Side six and

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then on our way to pick mine up, we'll

go by Subway and you can get your

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disgusting microwaved ham sandwich,

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like even Subway, how they

actually do their things.

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Like they're not particularly

good at what they do, but they're

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also just not horrible at it.

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But even theirs, even their like

boring kind of gross way of doing

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things wasn't enough for him.

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He had this like set of instructions,

he would say, I want you to take the

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white bread and put, just ham and just

American cheese on it, and then put

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it in the microwave, not the toaster.

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I do not want this.

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I, I don't want this to

feel like food, basically.

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And he would instruct them to microwave

this thing before they gave it to him.

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And I was like, that is the

grossest thing I've ever seen.

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And you could tell even the little, the

sandwich artists would be like, okay.

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And they got to where, and they got

to know us, and they just got to

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where they would stop trying because

they're supposed to ask you like,

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okay, do you, what do you want on it?

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What do you want lettuce?

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What, what kind of, and he was

like, I don't know how to tell.

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I want nothing on this.

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I want you to take that processed

meat and processed cheese and

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shitty ass white bread and

microwave it and then give it to me.

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beck_17_12-20-2025_123750:

Hey has standards.

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He has standards.

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dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: He

sent food back before because

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they put a pickle on the plate,

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and I know he hated to do it

like he wasn't being a dick

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because he, he's always so nice.

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Right?

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And, and like we agree on this,

like, I won't go out to eat with

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somebody that treats servers shitty.

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beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: Agreed.

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dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: He hated

to do it, but he was just like, I

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physically can't put this in my mouth.

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it turns into this whole thing.

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Then that contributes to anxiety

because then you have to have a full

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blown discussion about what the, the

fuck's wrong with you and your food

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before you place your order, because

you don't wanna put them through the

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aftermath of getting it slightly wrong.

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beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: Yep.

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I hear ya.

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one thing Shannon does surprise me

sometimes there's some things that she

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likes that I don't like, like pickles.

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I am not a pickle fan in any way.

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Um, if it comes on the plate,

I can deal with that, but, um.

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I'm not, I don't, I, I'm not

a big fan of it, but I have,

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my, my taste buds are changing.

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Like at McDonald's my whole life, I've

been a plain cheeseburger kind of girl.

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I put the, I put french fries on

my cheeseburger at McDonald's.

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It

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dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Mm-hmm.

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beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: And, um,

sometimes you'll order a plain and

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they'll come with all the stuff on

it anyway, so you gotta wipe it off.

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And that happened and I ate

it and it was delicious.

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And I was

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dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Oh,

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beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: the hell?

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So now I like ketchup

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dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: there we go.

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I remember like.

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Growing up, there was some, I don't

think I have anything like that at all.

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Like I'm pretty adventurous with food

and I'll try pretty much anything.

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But, um, I may have only been able to

become that way because of the way our

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mom would treat us about food, because

she was like, I can't throw this out

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and make you something different.

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If you don't like this, this is your meal

until tomorrow and when you're a kid.

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And like, I just remember

being hungry all the time.

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And it is not because we didn't

have food necessarily, we always had

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food, but there were so many weird

rules around food because it was

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hard to get, and it was precious.

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And also we grew to be pretty

big and quickly, like we, I,

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once I started growing, I didn't

stop for a very long time.

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I was.

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Underweight for most of my

childhood, which my mom loved

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'cause she wanted skinny kids.

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But like, so the threat of not

getting dinner was really scary

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the way you can be hungry as a kid

versus an adult is totally different.

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Like this panic sets in and you're

like, I'm never gonna see food again.

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and the way it like physically hurts your

stomach when you're a kid because you're

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just burning through that all of that

energy and your metabolism is so fast.

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and I would like throw up, um,

like stomach acid and stuff.

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Yeah.

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When I would get so hungry.

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Um, so there was so many textures I hated,

couldn't stand the textures of various

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things like peas, any, any of those awful

canned vegetables we had to eat, but.

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I had to eat 'em because

it was kind of all we had.

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so now I can tolerate weird things better

than I think I would've been able to if we

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had been, if we'd had some more options.

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beck_17_12-20-2025_123750:

My mom was the opposite.

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Um, she had like six recipes on rotation

and then we ordered out every other night,

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dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Well,

you lived near things though.

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You know, you like they was, um, a

Hardy's in Jellico and that was it.

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like the little, um, the market

there, there was a, a market in

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town, but it wasn't a Kroger,

it wasn't something like that.

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I don't know if people know what

grocery stores used to be like.

327

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: Right,

328

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: ate what they

had and what was on special that week was

329

:

usually what most people had for dinner.

330

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: Right.

331

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: If y'all,

if anybody follows us on Facebook,

332

:

I put up a video this week of the

old, um, Charles Kuralt on the Road.

333

:

Uh, he did this feature on CBS all

throughout the, I think he start, he

334

:

started in the late fifties and up

until basically his death he would

335

:

just travel around America and try

to, show different ways of, of living.

336

:

Like the whole point of this

series was basically like

337

:

America's a very diverse place.

338

:

It's such an interesting show.

339

:

A lot of these are on YouTube.

340

:

Um, but he went to

Appalachia several times.

341

:

But in 64, I believe it

was, he went to Appalachia.

342

:

He went to Letcher County,

Kentucky, uh, for Christmas.

343

:

And boy, is that eye-opening.

344

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: Yeah.

345

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Yes.

346

:

It's a half hour long special, The one

thing that really, there were two things

347

:

that really struck me, because I, Letcher

County was one of the poorest counties

348

:

in Kentucky, and this was after, um,

the breakup of the big company towns.

349

:

So basically the people in the

sixties who were living this

350

:

was like the post the Coal Wars.

351

:

This was abject poverty.

352

:

This was as poor as it got in the country

and just the way that, people were

353

:

talking about what Christmas means at

this time period, and he asked this one

354

:

woman, he said, does, does Christmas have

a religious meaning for you all still?

355

:

And the way that she didn't feel

any political pressure, she didn't,

356

:

she wasn't subject to, to what we

now live with in terms of like.

357

:

Whether we're allowed to tell

the truth about how we feel

358

:

about religion, this or that.

359

:

She said, you know, I don't know.

360

:

Because on the one hand, these stories

we tell ourselves every Sunday would

361

:

seem to indicate that, if one is

good, then one should reap rewards.

362

:

but on the other hand, I'm looking at

my neighbor up the hill that has a meal.

363

:

And for us, like she said Christmas

is literally no different than the

364

:

day before or the day after for us.

365

:

and then there was another family

that like, uh, they were too poor to

366

:

go to school, which really got me,

not because school cost anything, but

367

:

because they didn't have clothes to wear.

368

:

and they showed these kids and they were

like wearing, one was wearing a, Coat as

369

:

a shirt, and they were big holes outta

the sides and it was wintertime and this

370

:

child was freezing wearing this outfit.

371

:

he was like, yeah, I feel

like my kids are smart.

372

:

And they would do great in school,

but they can't go because they can't,

373

:

they literally don't have anything

to wear and you can't just, clothes

374

:

aren't gonna fall from the sky.

375

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750:

That's how my grandma was.

376

:

She had to drop outta school at sixth

grade because she had to go like

377

:

sell eggs and, and do everything

she could to help make money.

378

:

'cause she was the oldest in her family.

379

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Right.

380

:

Yeah.

381

:

I don't know about my mom's parents, but

I know that, um, my dad's parents went

382

:

up until sixth grade, so they learned

to read and write basically, and they

383

:

learned how to do math and stuff, but

they had those skills and that was enough.

384

:

And then they had to go

and start making money.

385

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: Yeah.

386

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: I don't know.

387

:

It's interesting.

388

:

I, I would like to know

more about how people.

389

:

How the rest of the country

perceived those kinds of

390

:

things when they aired on tv.

391

:

Like, what did they think?

392

:

Because that would've been the first

time they really knew about what

393

:

life was like in Appalachia after the

collapse of the coal company system,

394

:

there's another section where he goes

on a walk with a guy through where the

395

:

town had been, and he describes all the

stores and businesses and the life that

396

:

had been there back when the, like some

of the wealth from what was produced

397

:

from the mines actually got to stay in

Appalachia for a time, before the, like

398

:

the company system was set up and all

of it became, began to be exported out.

399

:

so he was like, yeah, over here

was our soda pop fountain and

400

:

it'd be open past midnight.

401

:

And over here was town hall

where we would have dances.

402

:

And uh, over here was a store

where you could get anything

403

:

you wanted and it was all just.

404

:

It was like maybe 20 years

for this to fall down.

405

:

And he, all these buildings

were just standing empty.

406

:

It was really fascinating.

407

:

I can, I'll put, I'll put the link to

that video in our, in the show notes

408

:

here, if anybody wants to check it out.

409

:

It was like both fascinating and I,

it felt like it feels important to pay

410

:

attention to those kinds of things, but

I also was pretty upset by the end of it.

411

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: Yeah.

412

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Yeah,

because I mean, 64, that was 15 years.

413

:

Wait, hang on.

414

:

I'm too, I'm too, I'm

trying to do math now.

415

:

No, that is, that was 15

years before I was born, so.

416

:

Well, I, sometimes I'll tell people like,

yeah, I was, I grew up in the eighties

417

:

in Appalachia, which is the sixties

to anybody else because time stopped.

418

:

I.

419

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: Mark Twain

has a famous, uh, quote where he

420

:

said that he hopes when he dies, he's

in Cincinnati, because everything

421

:

happens there 20 years later.

422

:

And I think feel like that's the, the

thing the same for all of Appalachia.

423

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Absolutely.

424

:

Yeah.

425

:

I mean, 'cause in the pictures, if you

look at, you know, photos of when I grew

426

:

up, and I don't know if it's the same

for you, you would not be able to place

427

:

that as the 1980s from these photos.

428

:

'cause nothing in, it's

nothing in it's new.

429

:

We're all dressed like

it was 20 years ago.

430

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: Yeah.

431

:

I think about the way my mom dresses

dressed me and the way that they dress

432

:

these kids today, and it's like, whoa.

433

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750:

it's even style, like style.

434

:

Like we honestly to us, we were like, yeah

man, this is the height of style and cool.

435

:

We did not know that we were

20 years behind the times.

436

:

people were French rolling their pants.

437

:

I don't, I actually don't know

when, when was that actually cool.

438

:

When was listeners Let us know

if you French strolled your

439

:

pants and, and when that was.

440

:

I'm gonna Google it right now.

441

:

Even the magazines and

stuff we had was old.

442

:

when was French rolling?

443

:

Cool.

444

:

Late 1980s.

445

:

Yeah.

446

:

That was still very much

happening in the late nineties.

447

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: Yeah, for sure.

448

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Where I lived.

449

:

Did you ever wear your clothes

backwards, like crisscross?

450

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: No,

451

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Oh man,

452

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: anyway.

453

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750:

I did, but you know what?

454

:

It was actually clothes

aren't made to fit that way.

455

:

It was really uncomfortable.

456

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: I do have

a story one time, um, I was gonna,

457

:

it was after bingo we had, um, I

had worked bingo and I stopped at

458

:

an ATM to get some money afterwards.

459

:

And so I changed my shirt in the drive

through and I didn't realize that

460

:

it was in front of an ATM camera.

461

:

It like, didn't even cross my mind.

462

:

So I had changed my shirt and,

because when back then smoking

463

:

was allowed and you smelled like

bingo funk when you came out of

464

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Oh yeah.

465

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750:

Um, so I, I changed and I went

466

:

into this little grocery store.

467

:

It was a big bear.

468

:

and I went through the line

and the lady kinda looked at

469

:

me weird and I was like, okay.

470

:

And when I got outside, I realized

my shirt was not only on inside

471

:

out, but backwards as well.

472

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: It, it's

always like, it, it's really a, a gotcha

473

:

whenever you manage both of them and

still somebody else has to point it out.

474

:

I remember working at a Pizza Hut,

and they allowed smoking inside and

475

:

that's like you would leave even if,

even without smoking in the picture.

476

:

You smell like shit when you left

p working a, a shift at Pizza Hut,

477

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: right.

478

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: is the Griest

Pizza in existence and it, and it gets in

479

:

the air like it, it won't wash out, won't

wash outta your clothes, won't wash outta

480

:

your uniform, but then adding smoking on

top of it, smoking in grease, it's ugh.

481

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: Yep.

482

:

We would have 200 people in one

room smoking their hearts out,

483

:

gambling, and I'd be sitting, you

know, four feet above 'em on my

484

:

little stage right above the haze.

485

:

I.

486

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: They,

uh, I walked down to the, um, uh,

487

:

not grocery store post office,

which goes past the only restaurant

488

:

that I know of, in existence here.

489

:

and it, it's the one that has, it's

got the, the times listed on the door.

490

:

It just says open to close,

like those are its towers.

491

:

but they had put a little, um, placard

out front, whiteboard and written on it,

492

:

music bingo at 8:00 PM And I wondered,

like, is is music bingo a kind of bingo

493

:

or, or did they mean like music and bingo?

494

:

Is the Bingo music themed or were there

gonna be music and also play in Bingo?

495

:

Neither one of those

sounds possible to me,

496

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: Right, because

you gotta be able to hear the caller.

497

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750:

but what would music bingo be?

498

:

And

499

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: you

get up and change packs with

500

:

other people like musical chairs.

501

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: the more I

thought about it, the more I was like,

502

:

this could be some like genius marketing,

because I'm still thinking about this

503

:

when I got home like 20 minutes later.

504

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: There's a

bingo hall here in Toledo, um, it's

505

:

north of Toledo, um, that they share

a wall with a Mexican restaurant.

506

:

And when you're playing bingo, you

could hear the through the wall while

507

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Nice.

508

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750:

that's what they mean, right?

509

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Maybe.

510

:

I don't know.

511

:

'cause it also, they're both happening

at 8:00 PM so I did, I actually, I did

512

:

consider walking back over, but like

I'm still, I'm too scared to, this is

513

:

a dumb thing to be scared of, right?

514

:

Because.

515

:

Nobody's looking at you, but I still

just hate to walk into a strange place.

516

:

'cause that's actually not true.

517

:

They are looking at you here.

518

:

If you walk in somewhere by yourself alone

and they don't know who you are, nobody

519

:

even, nobody ever stops looking at you.

520

:

You're the going concern from the second

you walk into the second you leave.

521

:

'cause I did try once

to go in somewhere here.

522

:

granted everybody was drunk so they,

they were probably staring more than

523

:

they would have if they had been sober.

524

:

' cause the other thing

they have here is a bar.

525

:

And it was the only thing.

526

:

So the very first night I moved here

and didn't have anything to eat.

527

:

And then I realized, I

was like, oh fuck nothing.

528

:

There's nothing here.

529

:

Uh, and the next day was.

530

:

It was a Saturday, so

the next day was Sunday.

531

:

I was like, I'm not gonna eat for days.

532

:

So I was like, I had, driven past

this little bar here and it says that

533

:

they had food, like, you know, pizzas

and burgers and things and, but, but

534

:

nobody picks up the phone here because

I was calling, I was like, gonna try

535

:

to like, Hey, can I place an order?

536

:

Nope, they do not do that.

537

:

Uh, even if they did pick up the

phone, no, they don't do that.

538

:

So I just like walked down.

539

:

I was like, fuck, I can tell they're open.

540

:

I can hear 'em from here.

541

:

I know they're open.

542

:

So I walked down there and it was

like being in a movie, like everybody

543

:

stopped and looked at me, which

I think they do for everybody.

544

:

The door opened so everybody looks,

and they didn't recognize me.

545

:

And so they just never stopped staring.

546

:

And I was like, this is God awful.

547

:

I don't know if I can do this.

548

:

And so I was sitting there.

549

:

I think they were trying to include me,

so they kept trying to buy me beers and

550

:

stuff and I was like, I don't drink.

551

:

Please God, just don't

ask me how I got here.

552

:

Just gimme my goddamn

burger and let me out.

553

:

So I haven't gone back.

554

:

I know I'm the weirdo for

not drinking, but whatever.

555

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750:

I don't drink either.

556

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: I think, I

think fewer people would if it wasn't

557

:

such a you, you just about ha have to

sometimes to get any kind of social life,

558

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: Yeah.

559

:

It is a social lubricant.

560

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Yeah, exactly.

561

:

Uh, I really think we would like

it less if there were other methods

562

:

of, of hanging out with people.

563

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: I

564

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Okay.

565

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: will

become that as they get, um, lounges

566

:

and things like that started.

567

:

But it's the same idea.

568

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: I mean,

it might be slightly better for you.

569

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: I hope

for at least queer people that we get

570

:

some sort of space, like, like a third

space where we could have, you know.

571

:

Conversations and that kind of

572

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Mm-hmm.

573

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: a bar.

574

:

That's, I think that's why alcoholism

is such a, a drain on the L-G-B-T-Q

575

:

community because that's where

you go to, to meet your people.

576

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750:

Here's what I'm thinking.

577

:

You know, how, like there are those

sports centers like a, a Google Plex or

578

:

whatever that have various activities

inside 'em, like Dave and Buster's.

579

:

there's several of them there

in Lexington that we used to

580

:

have events at when I worked in

admissions, let's make a queer one.

581

:

Sort of like the bar complex in Lexington,

it's got five different bars in it.

582

:

but instead of bars it's

different sober activities.

583

:

Um, I don't know what they would

be though, 'cause some, you know,

584

:

some of them maybe could be a like

batting cages or something that

585

:

has like that kind of stuff in it.

586

:

Batting cages or um, golf driving

range or bowling or something.

587

:

The usual stuff, but no alcohol.

588

:

And then others like that can

be how they make money, right?

589

:

Like you charge per game

or something like that.

590

:

But the other places could be something

like a library or a place to chill

591

:

where you don't have to spend money

necessarily in order to be there.

592

:

'cause we're still fighting against

this like, economic engine of the bar.

593

:

a third space costs money.

594

:

it could be a range of how much, um, you

know, depending on what kind of space it

595

:

is and what you're trying to pull off.

596

:

But alcohol is a way people cover that

costs a lot of times ' cause it's so

597

:

cheap to get and you can market up so much

I've worked in a bar, I know they're just

598

:

buying the $13 30 pack of Miller High Life

and then selling it to you for $3 a can.

599

:

So it's hard to think

what you do different.

600

:

Maybe just a suggestion.

601

:

Donation box.

602

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: or just

have like a donut bar, but then

603

:

you wouldn't have any gay guys.

604

:

'cause none of 'em wanna be fat.

605

:

So.

606

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: donut.

607

:

Donut bars a really good idea though.

608

:

'cause you, everywhere you go has,

you know, alternatives, right?

609

:

Because, There might be vegans too.

610

:

And I think that they

can't always eat donuts.

611

:

I'm not sure.

612

:

Not a hundred percent.

613

:

So, you know, you could diversify

to have an offering for everybody.

614

:

Um, but yeah, I'd give a, I'd give

$2 to, to have a donut and coffee

615

:

and sit around with people who are

also having a donut and coffee,

616

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: Yeah, me too.

617

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750:

like social lubricant doesn't

618

:

have to mean intoxicated.

619

:

We'll have our, our Queernecks

So social, Google Plex

620

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: And library.

621

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750:

and Library of course.

622

:

Especially because they're trying to

take all the queer shit out of libraries.

623

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: I've been

working on my dissertation quite a bit,

624

:

and, uh, speaking of libraries, I was

looking at my list of, um, citations that

625

:

I already have and it's over 200 citations

just before I even like start writing.

626

:

There's so much, so much to be read

627

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: You

know, I still couldn't tell you if

628

:

everything in my work cited actually

appeared in the document anywhere.

629

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: right.

630

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: I did

try, I did make, I made an effort as

631

:

often as I could to be like, okay,

is this actually appearing somewhere?

632

:

But, 'cause I, I was the same way.

633

:

Like I had stopped and

started writing so many times.

634

:

By the time it went to finishing it, I

was just putting stuff in that relevant

635

:

to what I was talking about just then.

636

:

It doesn't matter, you know, nobody cared.

637

:

Nobody asked me about it, so fuck it.

638

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: Right.

639

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Did,

uh, so have you had, um, any

640

:

more meetings with, uh, TMK about

narrowing down topic and all that?

641

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: No, um,

think he was leaving that to me, um,

642

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: No.

643

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: yeah,

so, and I, I basically have been

644

:

working on an outline for a chapter,

um, and I'm gonna go from there.

645

:

and then I have several pages written.

646

:

I'm gonna just write and see

what he thinks of it, because

647

:

the last time I turned something

in, he said it was terrific.

648

:

So that's, there's that.

649

:

And when I took theory with him, I

could not give that man, get that man

650

:

to give me an a on any of my papers.

651

:

I got a B on like everything.

652

:

And then towards the end of the

semester I was like, fuck it, I'm

653

:

just gonna write what I think.

654

:

And I like just free wrote and I

got a's on the last two papers.

655

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Yep.

656

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: I need

to just let go and, and trust myself

657

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: I, that

really is, what they're looking for

658

:

a lot of times is when, is like that

moment when you start to trust yourself.

659

:

The material.

660

:

that's what my chair also said.

661

:

She was like, the day that you like

stopped pretending that this other

662

:

topic that you thought sounded really

smart was actually interesting to you

663

:

and like, trusted yourself that you

were interested in this other thing

664

:

because there was something to it.

665

:

'cause that's, that really is it.

666

:

Like you're interested in something.

667

:

You can't stop thinking about the certain

topic or, obsessing about this particular

668

:

thing because you see something in it.

669

:

and so just like trusting

yourself after that point is

670

:

when it just starts to, to roll.

671

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: Yeah.

672

:

I'm hoping to get there.

673

:

My goal is 40 pages over winter

break, and I know I can do that.

674

:

'cause I used to prop out

25 in a weekend, you know,

675

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Right?

676

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750:

for, for semester ba for like

677

:

semester papers and shit.

678

:

So I know I can do this.

679

:

I just, I, I feel like I've been in

the pre-writing mode for so long.

680

:

I've been telling myself,

just do the reading.

681

:

Just do the reading.

682

:

Just do the reading and you'll get to it.

683

:

And now I feel like I have so much in

my head that it's all kind of jumbled

684

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Yeah.

685

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: and I

just, I just have to get everything

686

:

in that I have in there out.

687

:

There's, there's plenty in there.

688

:

I just have to figure out how to

get it out and how to frame it

689

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Yeah, it

feels like a kinda a traffic jam.

690

:

cause you're like, well now

I know all of this shit.

691

:

Where does it go?

692

:

And I know it fits together, but how

do I turn it into something that can,

693

:

that has any kind of logical flow to it?

694

:

if you, if you make, can make an

outline work like this goes for

695

:

anybody who has a lot of writing to do.

696

:

If you can do that, the

outline is your best friend.

697

:

I made a bunch of different ones over the

course of it, it looked different Every

698

:

time I do it, I have one notebook that's

just filled with all of the outlines

699

:

I made over and over and over again.

700

:

I, uh, also used notebooks

like handwriting things, a lot

701

:

more than, I didn't hardly do

any drafting on the computer.

702

:

It was mostly all of that planning

stuff was done on paper so I

703

:

could flip back and compare it

704

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: Right.

705

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: and

I'm too a DHD to have multiple

706

:

copies of a dis of a document.

707

:

I got into that when I was doing all

those edits for upload, and I was

708

:

like, oh my God, which version is this?

709

:

I almost got into serious trouble

with not being able to keep the

710

:

different versions straight.

711

:

They emailed again, saying

there's always something else.

712

:

'cause they're doing,

uh, what do they call it?

713

:

Clearing for graduation,

evaluating all the things.

714

:

And, um, Becca hadn't assigned me

a grade for dissertation hours.

715

:

So like, they emailed and they're

like, what, what's the grade on these?

716

:

'cause right now it's cons,

it's all, um, IP or in progress.

717

:

And she just replied and said, it's

all s And I was like, I, I think

718

:

they want you to fill out something.

719

:

I think there's a, a document.

720

:

There's almost always a document like,

please God, don't fuck this up for me.

721

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750:

My grad rep died last week.

722

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Oh my God.

723

:

The bastard one

724

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750:

no, they got it.

725

:

Switched over to a different

726

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: a new one.

727

:

You got a new grad rep and they died.

728

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: yeah.

729

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750:

Dude, did you know him?

730

:

Who was it?

731

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750:

No, I've, I'd heard his name.

732

:

Um, uh, Lu Lume.

733

:

I, it was a foreign name and I'm not

good with, with things like that.

734

:

Um, I can tell you.

735

:

Hang on.

736

:

I got an email from that office saying,

that's how I found out was, um, they

737

:

said that I need to get a new grad rep.

738

:

And it was like, geez, give

the man a day, you know,

739

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Oh God.

740

:

I mean, was it, do you think

it was natural causes or

741

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: Uh, he

742

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: it,

743

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: young.

744

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750:

oh no, that sucks.

745

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: Yeah.

746

:

Come on now.

747

:

Just waiting on this to load.

748

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: I

am gonna die laughing if it's

749

:

nothing close to the lu mirror.

750

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750:

It's something like that.

751

:

Come on, pop off.

752

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Pop off.

753

:

Okay, so that sounds Slavic or,

754

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750:

Uh, all I know about Popov is

755

:

this name of the cheap vodka,

756

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: yeah.

757

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: Lubomir.

758

:

L-U-B-O-M-I-R.

759

:

Popov.

760

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Wow.

761

:

You were right.

762

:

Well, RIP loop mirror,

763

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: Yeah.

764

:

was, um, a style and fashion enthusiast.

765

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: what is it?

766

:

With my aunt Jan wrote that in

my Aunt Josie's, um, obituary,

767

:

not the elegy, the obituary, the

thing that goes in the paper.

768

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750:

That's hilarious.

769

:

He, he completed two doctoral

degrees, a PhD in sociology

770

:

and a PhD in architecture.

771

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Wow.

772

:

Smart dude.

773

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750:

Interior design.

774

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Well, it

sounds like he made the most of life.

775

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: Yeah.

776

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: RIP Are they

gonna do this for you automatically?

777

:

'cause you don't get to choose.

778

:

Right.

779

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: No,

Becca figured it out last time,

780

:

so I'm figuring she'll do it this

781

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: I think

it's a, it's a random assignment.

782

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: I don't know.

783

:

I don't know how it works.

784

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750:

my, I got lucky.

785

:

I mean, there were, we both know, and,

and I think you even have a horror story,

786

:

about grad reps who derailed, projects.

787

:

And, and I got lucky.

788

:

Like my dude was, he fully

understood his assignment, right?

789

:

He was like, well, I mean, I'm here

just to make sure that your, you,

790

:

your rights are respected and, you

know, this process is, is equitable.

791

:

But even after my defense, he was like,

but I teach, um, teaches in media.

792

:

He said, what?

793

:

And I forget, but he was like, I'm

gonna steal that model that you

794

:

talked about for, uh, spectatorship.

795

:

Because I was trying to talk about,

like, I was trying to, I created a

796

:

model to describe the, like specific

positionality of the spectator.

797

:

To a particular signifying screen

or image or something like that.

798

:

And he was like, that's, that's a pretty,

like, that's a clear way to describe that.

799

:

I'm gonna start using that.

800

:

I was like, well, fuck, beside me,

801

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: That's awesome.

802

:

Yeah, my guy came in and

basically tried to fail me.

803

:

Like I'm pretty sure he, he tried to

fail me in my, uh, prelims and um,

804

:

was mad about my prospectus and he

just was not a nice guy whatsoever.

805

:

And he was in like speech pathology.

806

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: what is with

I, I mean, I know that they're required to

807

:

do service, but where would you get it in

your head that it's in your business, what

808

:

the content of the, study is and that you

have any idea what they're talking about?

809

:

'cause you're, you're almost

assured to be assigned a, um.

810

:

Project that's not in

your field as a grad rep?

811

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750:

But at least he's gone.

812

:

So whoever I get,

hopefully will be better.

813

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Yeah.

814

:

I'm glad they replaced that guy,

815

:

which may be what they want sometimes,

816

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: Right.

817

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: although

I can't figure, because it's not like

818

:

it lets you off the hook for service.

819

:

I was out for like six years and my poor

dude was still on the hook for my project.

820

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: Yeah, he

would've been like, when, when I reen,

821

:

when I re-enrolled and everything,

um, I had the same committee.

822

:

and then Becca helped me figure out

how to get the different grad rep.

823

:

She just, it was done and I,

824

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Yeah.

825

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750:

out a form and it was done.

826

:

So

827

:

the Y is an amazing Becca.

828

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: I hope

she makes a shit load of money,

829

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: Me

830

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: know?

831

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750:

She deserves it.

832

:

Speaking of all that,

833

:

, I got my, uh, evaluations

back for this semester

834

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: You

said you pissed somebody off.

835

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: yeah.

836

:

One kid, I got real pi like it.

837

:

92% of my class thinks that I'm

an excellent professor and one

838

:

person thinks that I'm terrible.

839

:

Right.

840

:

And

841

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Mm-hmm.

842

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750:

me laugh every time.

843

:

Um, but their comments,

like, it'll be one comment.

844

:

It'll say, I, I show too many videos,

and the very next comment will be

845

:

Love the videos play more of them.

846

:

You know, like it goes back and

847

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Yeah.

848

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: Um, but

one person, the one that made me

849

:

laugh was from women's studies.

850

:

They said that, um, they wished I had

given them more time on their paper.

851

:

It was due on the last day of

classes, and they got, it was

852

:

open the first day of classes,

853

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Right.

854

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750:

they literally had the entire

855

:

semester to work on this paper.

856

:

I talked about several times, know?

857

:

Yeah.

858

:

They wanted me to just make

more time up and nobody wants

859

:

more time in the semester.

860

:

Nobody wants that,

861

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Exactly.

862

:

You wish the semester was longer?

863

:

Okay,

864

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: Yeah.

865

:

Like how could I have possibly, and

I even gave them a two day extension

866

:

because usually I have everything

due on Sunday at:

867

:

Because it's just uniform.

868

:

It makes it easy for weeks.

869

:

So their final paper I usually

make due on Wednesday, just to

870

:

give them a couple of extra days,

um, instead of the Sunday before.

871

:

And this time I gave them

two more days till Friday.

872

:

So I even gave them an extension.

873

:

They had five days more

than I usually give them.

874

:

And it still wasn't enough, like,

and one person said they, they were

875

:

upset that the, the class aligned

so much with the Democratic party.

876

:

When I start the class, the, one

of the things I say is, number

877

:

one, you don't have to agree with

anything that I say all semester.

878

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: oh.

879

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750:

two, you can be a conservative.

880

:

And number three, I tell you upfront that

there's a liberal bias to all of this.

881

:

That's just the fabric

of the, the material.

882

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750:

And there's, they're babies.

883

:

They don't know.

884

:

It, it, it is not women's studies fault

that the Democratic Party is the one that

885

:

took up their causes as platforms, right?

886

:

Like, I know that you're, you're

a little, you know, mushy,

887

:

pre frontal, not fully formed.

888

:

Brain is gonna struggle with this.

889

:

But things came before you and they

didn't come in any particular order and

890

:

they're not aligned for your convenience.

891

:

They kill me with that

shit of like 60 years ago.

892

:

This would've been the Republican party.

893

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: And then you

get them that she's a wonderful professor.

894

:

Don't change a thing.

895

:

And then you've got change everything.

896

:

Burn it down.

897

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750:

I have to be honest.

898

:

I stopped reading my evals, um,

not very long into teaching.

899

:

I just didn't fucking care.

900

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750:

I can't help it.

901

:

I wanna see what they say.

902

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Well, and

you should read them because, you know,

903

:

they take the time to fill them out.

904

:

They're trying to tell you about yourself.

905

:

They're trying to, to give you, I

guess, insight to, to become a better

906

:

professor and to continue to improve.

907

:

But what I was teaching was writing, I,

I was teaching writing at the, at a time

908

:

when we had stopped really teaching it.

909

:

Uh.

910

:

in high school.

911

:

So they were coming to me not knowing

a goddamn thing about writing.

912

:

And I had this herculean task of

taking of, of 16 weeks, taking

913

:

them from not knowing what a five

paragraph essay and a thesis statement

914

:

was into somebody who could write,

uh, a research paper for biology

915

:

without me there to hold their hand.

916

:

And I knew that it didn't matter

what the fuck they had to say about

917

:

my teaching because they didn't

know what they were talking about.

918

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: Right.

919

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: So I stopped

reading them because after you can only,

920

:

you can only like, just sit there and

get played in your face for so long.

921

:

And I was like, y'all are angry at me.

922

:

I mean, I just can't let y'all take

this out on me, um, to this degree.

923

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: I held

firm and gave a girl a zero on

924

:

her paper because she used ai.

925

:

It was so obvious that she had used ai.

926

:

Like if you play around with chat

GPT at all, you realize there's

927

:

a format to the way that it

928

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Oh, absolutely.

929

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: Yeah.

930

:

And it, you know, it

bodes random words and,

931

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Italicize.

932

:

Um,

933

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750:

things and lists and like lists.

934

:

It loves of

935

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750:

rhetorical questions, the,

936

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: yeah.

937

:

And this girl, so I gave her

a zero and she wrote me back.

938

:

She was like, I only

used Grammarly for this.

939

:

And I was like, bullshit.

940

:

You have like graduate level headings

in this thing and you know, it Teach me

941

:

if you could write this, well, teach me.

942

:

'cause I, I can't write this.

943

:

Well, you know.

944

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: yeah.

945

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: um, she finally

caved in and, um, I gave her a zero on it.

946

:

And then she took the, so the,

my boss has told me that I cannot

947

:

do online exams, something to do

with the amount of contact hours.

948

:

And we have to have as many contact

hours as possible where we went

949

:

to 15 week semesters, right?

950

:

So, okay.

951

:

Whatever they tell me to do,

that's what I'm gonna do.

952

:

Um, but I can still do them online.

953

:

I don't have to do them in paper.

954

:

We just have to take the

online exam in person, right?

955

:

So I, you know, we have our

assigned exam schedule and I have

956

:

people that have accommodation,

so they take it at a different

957

:

time over in the learning center.

958

:

And so I had the exam open and this same

girl, not in class, just took the exam.

959

:

At a different time, not

when the scheduled exam was.

960

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Yeah.

961

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: could have

cheated, she could have had anything open.

962

:

She could have had her notes open,

she could have done anything.

963

:

And she finished the exam in 19 minutes.

964

:

Everybody else was taking like 45 minutes

965

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Mm-hmm.

966

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750:

can look at the log

967

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Yeah.

968

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: shows

where they go off, off, um, the page.

969

:

Right.

970

:

And so I took 20% off of

her grade for doing that.

971

:

Um, and, and she ended up with

a c, which was me rounding up.

972

:

So I really gave that girl some grace.

973

:

But how do you mess up that bad

twice at, at the end of the semester?

974

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: I, well,

they don't have a lot of information

975

:

literacy, so they really don't know

that every, they're, they're practically

976

:

keystroke like down to whether you, what

tabs you open, if you click on or off

977

:

of a screen, we know what you're doing.

978

:

Um, proctoring, if an, if an

essay is proctored, it literally,

979

:

it shows us what you Googled.

980

:

There's, there was this one, um, I saw

a TikTok of someone, uh, sh sharing the,

981

:

the proctor screen of a student that

had Googled, how do I take this test?

982

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: Wow.

983

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Multiple

times they tried to rephrase it.

984

:

How do I take this Open

notes test without notes?

985

:

What do I do if I don't have

notes for the open note test?

986

:

Like, I mean, that's it.

987

:

You're doing it right now and that's

pretty much all you can do is frantically

988

:

Google and, and maybe have a moment

where you think, do I have anybody

989

:

but myself to blame for this shit?

990

:

Did perhaps my only ally in this, I

wish they knew we were their allies.

991

:

Was there a moment where a, a trusted

authority figure stood in front of me

992

:

and painstakingly explained what was

gonna be asked of me for the rest of

993

:

this next 15 weeks of my life point

by point and how to be successful.

994

:

I don't know if we're ever gonna reach

a point where they see us that way.

995

:

I don't know.

996

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750:

I think some of them do.

997

:

dash_17_12-20-2025_113750: Yeah.

998

:

Yeah.

999

:

beck_17_12-20-2025_123750: being

back on main campus teaching is, is

:

00:44:27,559 --> 00:44:30,799

really refreshing compared to being

on the other program that I was

:

00:44:30,814 --> 00:44:34,819

-:

I, I was actually thinking about not

:

00:44:34,819 --> 00:44:39,229

that exactly, but I worked with, uh,

a lot of programs, like pre-college

:

00:44:39,229 --> 00:44:45,589

programs, dual enrollment or um, like

bridge programs for first generation

:

00:44:45,589 --> 00:44:49,669

college students or students living

in poverty in eastern Kentucky.

:

00:44:50,179 --> 00:44:54,529

And you're fighting multiple battles

with them because you're trying to either

:

00:44:54,529 --> 00:45:00,778

get or keep them interested in higher

education, which means trying to help them

:

00:45:01,498 --> 00:45:06,748

feel, you know, like they belong while

at the same time challenging their entire

:

00:45:06,748 --> 00:45:09,988

worldview, you know, at regular intervals.

:

00:45:11,113 --> 00:45:12,913

-:

competing with their real lives and

:

00:45:12,913 --> 00:45:16,213

their jobs and their relationships

and, and all of those things too.

:

00:45:16,378 --> 00:45:16,648

-:

:

00:45:16,648 --> 00:45:17,243

Yeah, like.

:

00:45:18,613 --> 00:45:22,453

Um, you know, the, the specific

messaging that they're getting from

:

00:45:22,453 --> 00:45:26,194

their environment, is gonna be,

you're asking them to take that with

:

00:45:26,194 --> 00:45:29,014

a grain of salt and give me a chance.

:

00:45:29,014 --> 00:45:32,044

But you see me once a, a

week or something, like,

:

00:45:32,254 --> 00:45:32,704

-:

:

00:45:33,064 --> 00:45:36,244

-:

17, 18-year-old to be able to do that.

:

00:45:36,244 --> 00:45:38,619

Like, I'm fully aware of the fact

that I wasn't able to do that.

:

00:45:39,375 --> 00:45:39,585

-:

:

00:45:39,585 --> 00:45:42,555

I was not prepared for college the

first time I went at all, like the

:

00:45:42,555 --> 00:45:44,175

social requirements and all that stuff.

:

00:45:44,355 --> 00:45:48,855

I went five semesters and passed like

three classes and got kicked outta school.

:

00:45:49,185 --> 00:45:51,435

-:

I, this is another thought I had.

:

00:45:51,435 --> 00:45:52,935

Um, I think just this morning.

:

00:45:53,475 --> 00:45:55,742

Do you think that you would

have, chosen a certain.

:

00:45:56,627 --> 00:46:01,787

Major, like I, I really feel like I

would've done something more lucrative,

:

00:46:02,117 --> 00:46:05,357

but I don't know for sure it's 'cause

obviously we can't actually go back

:

00:46:05,357 --> 00:46:06,617

and ask ourselves that question.

:

00:46:07,127 --> 00:46:11,537

But I didn't, I felt paralyzed by

having to choose a major at all.

:

00:46:11,927 --> 00:46:13,757

'cause they were all

things I'd never heard of.

:

00:46:13,757 --> 00:46:16,667

They were all things I'd never been

asked to even picture myself as

:

00:46:16,667 --> 00:46:19,247

having the ability to do before.

:

00:46:19,907 --> 00:46:23,721

Have you since reflected on what

you might have chosen if you had

:

00:46:23,721 --> 00:46:27,381

had some preexisting knowledge

on what to choose for a major?

:

00:46:27,816 --> 00:46:28,446

-:

:

00:46:28,506 --> 00:46:29,826

Um, I've thought about that a lot.

:

00:46:29,826 --> 00:46:32,346

I probably would've gone into

psychology or something like that.

:

00:46:32,706 --> 00:46:36,786

something where you have a, a real

future because the, the path that

:

00:46:36,786 --> 00:46:40,836

we've taken, like it's, it's kind of

a pyramid scheme, you know, you learn

:

00:46:40,836 --> 00:46:42,726

it to, to teach it to other people.

:

00:46:43,026 --> 00:46:45,876

And what can I do outside of

being a professor, you know?

:

00:46:46,971 --> 00:46:48,441

there's not a lot of roads open.

:

00:46:48,441 --> 00:46:51,771

Like there are some things you

can do librarianship and um,

:

00:46:51,831 --> 00:46:53,241

some, some other things like that.

:

00:46:53,241 --> 00:46:57,141

But a lot of people are looking

for cultural scholars to hire.

:

00:46:57,420 --> 00:46:58,718

-:

:

00:46:58,928 --> 00:47:01,658

-:

cousin is a way high up in a really

:

00:47:01,718 --> 00:47:05,978

big financial corporation, and he

was gonna help me get a job before

:

00:47:06,218 --> 00:47:07,688

I got hired on to be a professor.

:

00:47:08,078 --> 00:47:11,798

Um, and I sent him my resume and he sent

it to hr and they were like, we just don't

:

00:47:11,798 --> 00:47:13,598

have anything that fits her education.

:

00:47:13,958 --> 00:47:17,258

Like, so I had like somebody handpicking

me saying, giving this person a job and

:

00:47:17,258 --> 00:47:18,638

they couldn't match me up with something.

:

00:47:18,733 --> 00:47:18,953

-:

:

00:47:19,183 --> 00:47:21,806

-:

not, love my job, is what I'm saying.

:

00:47:22,059 --> 00:47:22,449

-:

:

00:47:22,449 --> 00:47:26,027

And, and we're, you know, it sucks when

you have moments where you're like, I

:

00:47:26,027 --> 00:47:28,517

don't know what's, what's coming next?

:

00:47:28,907 --> 00:47:32,597

Like, especially, I mean, for

me right now, like, assuming the

:

00:47:32,597 --> 00:47:36,947

motherfucker keeps kicking along,

we've got three more years of.

:

00:47:38,582 --> 00:47:41,012

This, whatever at best.

:

00:47:41,012 --> 00:47:44,188

You know, I really feel like he's

gonna die before that's over.

:

00:47:44,188 --> 00:47:44,578

But

:

00:47:44,623 --> 00:47:45,138

-:

:

00:47:45,138 --> 00:47:47,818

-:

mean, I think, He, he deserves worse

:

00:47:47,818 --> 00:47:51,958

than what he's gonna get, but that

doesn't do anything to the damage.

:

00:47:51,988 --> 00:47:58,348

And what, what is gonna continue to happen

to attacks on DEI and higher education?

:

00:47:58,561 --> 00:48:01,875

it's already to the point that I

can't even talk about what I do, no

:

00:48:01,875 --> 00:48:03,345

wonder my body's falling apart.

:

00:48:04,995 --> 00:48:06,195

But I don't know.

:

00:48:06,315 --> 00:48:07,185

We've done enough bitching.

:

00:48:07,245 --> 00:48:08,745

Maybe let's hear from this week's sponsor.

:

00:48:10,094 --> 00:48:12,344

because I've been cold this week.

:

00:48:12,704 --> 00:48:16,814

It's been, uh, negative two degrees

and windy as fuck over here.

:

00:48:17,204 --> 00:48:20,159

this week's episode of Queer Next is

brought to you by the Potbellied Coal

:

00:48:20,159 --> 00:48:22,049

Stove in the center of the house.

:

00:48:22,769 --> 00:48:27,239

This is the Appalachian HVAC and the

undisputed emotional nucleus of the home.

:

00:48:27,615 --> 00:48:30,705

This stove doesn't sit

politely against a wall.

:

00:48:30,855 --> 00:48:34,313

It parks right in the middle of the

central room and commands an orbit.

:

00:48:34,763 --> 00:48:37,403

Furniture is arranged around

it like pews around a pulpit.

:

00:48:37,673 --> 00:48:42,143

Socks are draped nearby like offerings,

children, cats, and at least one uncle

:

00:48:42,143 --> 00:48:46,073

who just needs to warm up a minute or

pulled into its gravitational field.

:

00:48:46,073 --> 00:48:50,453

Every winter, the pop belly

coal stove runs hot and serious.

:

00:48:50,993 --> 00:48:54,323

It hums and pops and throws

off heat that feels personal.

:

00:48:54,652 --> 00:48:56,962

it's like it knows your

name and your business.

:

00:48:57,352 --> 00:49:02,152

It's only settings are off and

ruinously hot and heaven help you if

:

00:49:02,152 --> 00:49:05,422

you forget the screen because this

stove has baptized more knuckles and

:

00:49:05,422 --> 00:49:07,102

knees than any church in the county.

:

00:49:07,872 --> 00:49:11,112

The specialized cooking implements

hung right above it on a chained

:

00:49:11,112 --> 00:49:13,092

iron frame hanging from the rafters.

:

00:49:13,632 --> 00:49:18,102

After dinner, the popcorn iron will be

heated, doused in salt and fat, filled

:

00:49:18,102 --> 00:49:21,822

with clattery corn pellets before

thrust inside to steam the treats awake

:

00:49:21,822 --> 00:49:23,922

like some slumbering dragon's hoard.

:

00:49:24,612 --> 00:49:27,882

And oh, the comfort the way the

whole house breathes differently

:

00:49:27,882 --> 00:49:31,572

when it's lit the way life feels

livable and the day feels doable

:

00:49:31,572 --> 00:49:35,292

when the frosty breath of winter is

pushed back outside where it belongs.

:

00:49:35,892 --> 00:49:38,052

This stove has raised generations.

:

00:49:38,322 --> 00:49:43,362

It has seen homework,

breakups, and injuries abound.

:

00:49:43,692 --> 00:49:48,012

Old timers lean back like they trusted

it, kids inch closer, learning the true

:

00:49:48,012 --> 00:49:52,752

meaning of boundaries and visitors learned

fast, and everyone learned respect.

:

00:49:53,202 --> 00:49:55,362

So here's to that potbelly coal stove.

:

00:49:55,602 --> 00:49:59,742

The keeper of warmth scars,

stories and survival, the heart

:

00:49:59,742 --> 00:50:01,992

of the house beating in iron.

:

00:50:02,472 --> 00:50:04,399

And if you weren't warned,

you weren't listening.

:

00:50:05,895 --> 00:50:07,005

That's something we ever act.

:

00:50:07,035 --> 00:50:10,725

We never actually did have in the,

'cause we lived in the trailers, but a

:

00:50:10,725 --> 00:50:14,295

lot of the houses we hung out in had,

um, either Woodburn in or coal stove.

:

00:50:14,355 --> 00:50:18,732

Well, you could burn

anything in a potbelly stove.

:

00:50:19,032 --> 00:50:22,727

-:

grandparents had, um, a big fireplace

:

00:50:22,727 --> 00:50:26,357

in the middle of their living room with

those same implements and the same idea,

:

00:50:26,357 --> 00:50:28,187

but they just turned it into a fireplace.

:

00:50:28,747 --> 00:50:29,767

it was always my favorite room.

:

00:50:30,487 --> 00:50:35,497

-:

a, a more like housey arrangement, you

:

00:50:35,497 --> 00:50:40,597

know, like brick walls and a chimney and

stuff to be able to, to go full fireplace.

:

00:50:40,597 --> 00:50:43,527

The pop village stove was kind

of a godsend for those, um,

:

00:50:43,557 --> 00:50:47,127

clapboard or linoleum houses that

people had in the coal country.

:

00:50:47,361 --> 00:50:51,361

I think there used to, well I know

there used to be a, a chimney in

:

00:50:51,361 --> 00:50:55,291

this house I have here, 'cause it's

boarded, it's a, it's not boarded up,

:

00:50:55,291 --> 00:50:57,151

it's closed up, down in the basement.

:

00:50:57,421 --> 00:51:00,341

But I don't know where the, the fireplace

would've been or if there was one.

:

00:51:01,256 --> 00:51:01,496

-:

:

00:51:01,771 --> 00:51:02,641

-:

Probably down there.

:

00:51:08,350 --> 00:51:11,560

I loved the smell of burning, um, wood.

:

00:51:12,035 --> 00:51:12,760

-:

:

00:51:13,544 --> 00:51:15,074

-:

Just glorious smell.

:

00:51:15,644 --> 00:51:16,269

-:

:

00:51:16,996 --> 00:51:18,046

Mom always bought these.

:

00:51:18,046 --> 00:51:22,336

Um, it was some kind of sprinkle, it was

some kind of chemical in a, in a cardboard

:

00:51:22,336 --> 00:51:25,126

tube that would cause colors in the fire.

:

00:51:25,606 --> 00:51:26,716

She always had those.

:

00:51:26,716 --> 00:51:27,766

I loved those things.

:

00:51:28,121 --> 00:51:29,986

-:

I think those were just metals,

:

00:51:29,986 --> 00:51:31,546

like phosphorus and stuff.

:

00:51:31,666 --> 00:51:32,086

-:

:

00:51:32,640 --> 00:51:37,830

-:

would burn, uh, like pop cans or garbage

:

00:51:37,860 --> 00:51:41,370

and certain, uh, dyes or, or paints.

:

00:51:41,490 --> 00:51:44,070

Certain things would burn wild colors.

:

00:51:44,418 --> 00:51:45,498

-:

that's one thing I do miss.

:

00:51:45,498 --> 00:51:47,328

And someday I'll have my own fireplace.

:

00:51:47,778 --> 00:51:52,038

So, we had one when we moved back

to mom's, but I don't know the

:

00:51:52,038 --> 00:51:54,768

last time it had been cleaned,

so we didn't use it even once.

:

00:51:56,286 --> 00:51:57,846

-:

Somebody in that trailer I had

:

00:51:57,846 --> 00:52:03,771

down in Kentucky, somebody had

retrofitted a propane furnace on it.

:

00:52:04,581 --> 00:52:05,541

which was kind of nice.

:

00:52:05,541 --> 00:52:08,751

It was, it was nice to run that

sometimes, but it didn't heat very well.

:

00:52:08,751 --> 00:52:10,769

Like it, I was like, this is, is

:

00:52:11,399 --> 00:52:12,509

in a stupid location.

:

00:52:12,539 --> 00:52:13,079

It's this

:

00:52:13,229 --> 00:52:14,249

-:

what bombs was too.

:

00:52:14,729 --> 00:52:15,509

-:

kind of decorative

:

00:52:16,049 --> 00:52:16,409

-:

:

00:52:16,409 --> 00:52:21,959

And the, the thing, the, the company that

did the gas, the propane, um, if your

:

00:52:21,959 --> 00:52:25,739

name was not on the deed for the property,

they wouldn't give you credit, which

:

00:52:25,739 --> 00:52:27,179

is the craziest thing I've ever heard.

:

00:52:27,179 --> 00:52:30,719

And so my name was not on the

deed yet, so I had to pay upfront.

:

00:52:30,959 --> 00:52:33,089

So every time you got gas it was like 600

:

00:52:33,464 --> 00:52:33,899

-:

:

00:52:34,379 --> 00:52:34,799

-:

:

00:52:34,799 --> 00:52:35,609

It was crazy.

:

00:52:36,329 --> 00:52:38,369

And then we ran out in

the middle of a cold snap.

:

00:52:38,399 --> 00:52:39,419

Oh, that sucked.

:

00:52:40,319 --> 00:52:41,699

get gas for like three days.

:

00:52:42,089 --> 00:52:42,689

-:

:

00:52:43,169 --> 00:52:43,529

-:

:

00:52:43,834 --> 00:52:44,054

Do

:

00:52:44,609 --> 00:52:44,819

-:

:

00:52:44,819 --> 00:52:48,989

This house I've got here

is propane heated, and, um,

:

00:52:49,276 --> 00:52:50,086

-:

Do you have a big tank,

:

00:52:50,431 --> 00:52:51,691

-:

Gigantic tank count back.

:

00:52:51,691 --> 00:52:53,941

It's a thousand, uh, gallons.

:

00:52:54,333 --> 00:53:00,543

and I mean, I think, well, I know it

currently it's running a dollar 69 a

:

00:53:00,543 --> 00:53:03,903

gallon, so to fill that thing up, it's,

:

00:53:04,458 --> 00:53:05,118

-:

:

00:53:05,253 --> 00:53:05,583

-:

:

00:53:06,070 --> 00:53:06,760

So,

:

00:53:06,835 --> 00:53:08,125

-:

you got the delivery fees and

:

00:53:08,125 --> 00:53:09,025

all that kind of stuff to go

:

00:53:09,070 --> 00:53:09,430

-:

:

00:53:09,760 --> 00:53:14,301

So I'm thankful for the high

efficiency furnace, but and I

:

00:53:14,301 --> 00:53:17,541

don't know, maybe it all equals

out, but two grand a year versus.

:

00:53:18,591 --> 00:53:23,241

It like the, the HVAC system I

had on that trailer because, and

:

00:53:23,241 --> 00:53:24,771

heating a trailer is so inefficient.

:

00:53:25,491 --> 00:53:31,701

It was 200 something dollars a month to,

to, for the electric to heat the house.

:

00:53:31,701 --> 00:53:32,421

So

:

00:53:32,814 --> 00:53:33,804

-:

That's one great thing about

:

00:53:33,804 --> 00:53:34,794

living in this apartment.

:

00:53:34,794 --> 00:53:35,994

We're in the bottom floor.

:

00:53:36,504 --> 00:53:38,634

so all the heat kind of stays here.

:

00:53:38,724 --> 00:53:39,924

It doesn't rise too far.

:

00:53:40,584 --> 00:53:42,564

and the cold doesn't

get in here very much.

:

00:53:43,267 --> 00:53:45,337

It's expensive to live

here, that's for sure.

:

00:53:46,172 --> 00:53:46,462

-:

:

00:53:46,567 --> 00:53:47,977

-:

utilities aren't bad, but the the

:

00:53:47,977 --> 00:53:51,697

rent itself, and it went up over a

hundred dollars from year to year.

:

00:53:51,847 --> 00:53:53,857

When we resigned the lease, it

went up over a hundred dollars.

:

00:53:54,547 --> 00:53:55,777

-:

I saw somebody saying that.

:

00:53:55,777 --> 00:53:57,847

You're, you're allowed to negotiate that.

:

00:53:57,847 --> 00:54:00,547

Like if they tell you like, we're

raising the rent up to this, then you

:

00:54:00,547 --> 00:54:02,017

can call 'em, be like, I can't do that.

:

00:54:02,017 --> 00:54:02,737

What about this?

:

00:54:02,737 --> 00:54:04,807

And they like, you have

the right to do that.

:

00:54:05,442 --> 00:54:06,162

-:

That's good to know,

:

00:54:06,423 --> 00:54:10,563

there, the way they do things here,

so, um, they, I guess they looked at

:

00:54:10,563 --> 00:54:14,493

my, uh, when we resigned the lease and

I forgot to initial one place, so they

:

00:54:14,493 --> 00:54:19,863

put $150 charge on my account for going

month to month because I didn't have a

:

00:54:19,863 --> 00:54:23,103

lease in place and they wouldn't take

it off until I came into the office

:

00:54:23,253 --> 00:54:25,293

and, and initialed that paperwork.

:

00:54:26,043 --> 00:54:27,783

Is that not the craziest

thing that you've heard of?

:

00:54:29,238 --> 00:54:31,998

-:

yeah, but it's not, it's not shocking.

:

00:54:32,058 --> 00:54:36,048

I mean, if you, if I were to rank all

the dumbest, most surprising, stupid

:

00:54:36,048 --> 00:54:39,588

shit I've ever heard, a good 40% of it.

:

00:54:39,708 --> 00:54:42,228

The top 10 would be

landlords doing dumb shit.

:

00:54:44,478 --> 00:54:45,678

Like, just 'cause they can,

:

00:54:46,113 --> 00:54:46,653

-:

:

00:54:46,818 --> 00:54:50,388

-:

is, is a pain in the ass and it's gate

:

00:54:50,388 --> 00:54:52,338

kept and it can take a lot to set up.

:

00:54:52,638 --> 00:54:56,868

But in like, in comparison to

something like renting, especially

:

00:54:56,868 --> 00:54:58,968

being, um, like under the thumb of.

:

00:54:59,390 --> 00:55:02,690

Just a really corrupt

system in some places.

:

00:55:02,690 --> 00:55:04,040

There's, it's no contest.

:

00:55:04,380 --> 00:55:07,680

The, um, rental landscape there.

:

00:55:07,680 --> 00:55:11,850

When I, when we were in grad

school, there in BG was obnoxious.

:

00:55:11,940 --> 00:55:16,110

You remember like there was a, a, a week

every year where everyone was homeless.

:

00:55:16,110 --> 00:55:16,400

-:

:

00:55:16,995 --> 00:55:19,035

-:

the, uh, leases start August

:

00:55:19,035 --> 00:55:21,885

1st, but they end, uh, July 25th.

:

00:55:22,485 --> 00:55:22,845

-:

:

00:55:23,535 --> 00:55:23,685

That's

:

00:55:23,720 --> 00:55:26,385

-:

was like, why, why do y'all do this?

:

00:55:26,415 --> 00:55:28,858

Well, so that we're not in

competition with one another.

:

00:55:29,233 --> 00:55:31,513

-:

the thing is, um, they, when the,

:

00:55:31,513 --> 00:55:34,003

I think it's Greenbriar because

they have the most apartments.

:

00:55:34,303 --> 00:55:37,303

Um, when it comes time to sign,

there's like one day people miss

:

00:55:37,303 --> 00:55:40,693

class because they have to line

up and they camp out to get a good

:

00:55:40,693 --> 00:55:42,223

place in line and things like that.

:

00:55:42,223 --> 00:55:43,753

Just to get first come, first serve,

:

00:55:44,218 --> 00:55:44,758

-:

:

00:55:45,403 --> 00:55:45,793

-:

:

00:55:46,048 --> 00:55:46,468

-:

:

00:55:46,483 --> 00:55:47,773

-:

what the, no matter what the

:

00:55:47,773 --> 00:55:50,383

temperature is, there are people out

there camping out and it's crazy.

:

00:55:50,463 --> 00:55:52,168

-:

because you're homeless otherwise, I.

:

00:55:52,448 --> 00:55:56,468

Yeah, I, uh, managed to get, like

that building we lived in there.

:

00:55:56,468 --> 00:56:01,778

It was one of the few that was

like exempt from all of that mess.

:

00:56:01,778 --> 00:56:05,228

That Greenbrier, it was tech, it was

kind of like an old person's home.

:

00:56:05,588 --> 00:56:08,618

We were the only people under,

um, 40 that lived there,

:

00:56:09,128 --> 00:56:09,698

-:

:

00:56:10,448 --> 00:56:12,038

-:

and it was affordable.

:

00:56:12,428 --> 00:56:16,388

And, uh, once as soon as I got in

there, I was like, I am going nowhere.

:

00:56:16,448 --> 00:56:19,928

I'm living here for the

rest of my time in bg.

:

00:56:19,928 --> 00:56:20,558

And I did

:

00:56:21,545 --> 00:56:23,735

Did you bring a noun of

Appalachian interest?

:

00:56:23,735 --> 00:56:23,765

I,

:

00:56:24,260 --> 00:56:26,630

-:

did, let me pull that up here..

:

00:56:27,680 --> 00:56:28,070

All right.

:

00:56:28,070 --> 00:56:32,690

Well, today's noun of Appalachian interest

is the holler itself, spelled like

:

00:56:32,690 --> 00:56:34,940

holler, said like holler, not hollow.

:

00:56:35,090 --> 00:56:37,070

If you say hollow, the hills can tell.

:

00:56:37,550 --> 00:56:38,990

The holler is the real place.

:

00:56:38,990 --> 00:56:41,840

It's a narrow stretch of land tucked

between hills, sometimes with a

:

00:56:41,840 --> 00:56:45,410

creek, a road that barely counts

as one and at least one scruffy old

:

00:56:45,410 --> 00:56:47,420

mailbox leaning in a dangerous angle.

:

00:56:47,810 --> 00:56:50,570

My hauler was called Big run, which

sounds like a marathon, but it

:

00:56:50,570 --> 00:56:53,600

was just a creek in five miles of

houses spanning six families all

:

00:56:53,600 --> 00:56:55,820

just doing their best in a hollerer.

:

00:56:55,820 --> 00:56:57,890

Directions are emotional, not logical.

:

00:56:57,890 --> 00:56:59,030

You don't use addresses.

:

00:56:59,030 --> 00:57:01,490

You say things after the curve,

but before the place where

:

00:57:01,490 --> 00:57:04,625

the dog used to sit, everyone

understands exactly what you mean.

:

00:57:05,575 --> 00:57:07,075

But sound behaves differently.

:

00:57:07,075 --> 00:57:10,165

In a holler, you can hear a screen

door slam from three ridges away.

:

00:57:10,465 --> 00:57:12,895

If someone starts a four-wheeler,

you won't wonder who it is.

:

00:57:12,895 --> 00:57:17,095

You already know a holler has one road

and that road belongs to everybody.

:

00:57:17,095 --> 00:57:18,595

Kids walk it, dogs own it.

:

00:57:18,595 --> 00:57:22,105

If two cars meet, one of you is pulling

over while waving like crazy at the

:

00:57:22,105 --> 00:57:23,695

person who is probably your cousin.

:

00:57:24,325 --> 00:57:26,155

Privacy exists, but it's informal.

:

00:57:26,155 --> 00:57:28,795

You can do whatever you want as

long as you don't act surprised when

:

00:57:28,795 --> 00:57:30,295

everyone knows about it by supper.

:

00:57:30,775 --> 00:57:32,545

Outsiders think a holler is empty.

:

00:57:32,545 --> 00:57:33,145

It's not.

:

00:57:33,145 --> 00:57:34,135

It's just tucked in.

:

00:57:34,345 --> 00:57:35,575

Houses don't show off.

:

00:57:35,575 --> 00:57:37,928

People don't either, and

Everything important happens

:

00:57:37,928 --> 00:57:39,068

a little bit out of sight.

:

00:57:39,518 --> 00:57:42,818

And when you say you're from a holler,

like big run, you're saying that you

:

00:57:42,818 --> 00:57:44,438

know how to watch, wait, and listen.

:

00:57:44,438 --> 00:57:46,838

You know how to belong to a

place without trying to own it.

:

00:57:47,138 --> 00:57:47,918

That's the holler.

:

00:57:47,948 --> 00:57:49,478

Not a hollow, not a shortcut.

:

00:57:49,778 --> 00:57:51,878

A place that remembers you

even when you move away.

:

00:57:56,283 --> 00:57:57,063

-:

:

00:57:58,323 --> 00:58:00,303

I used to be so embarrassed

about saying holler.

:

00:58:00,543 --> 00:58:01,173

You know what?

:

00:58:01,233 --> 00:58:05,493

It was forever before I actually knew

that holler was supposed to be hollow.

:

00:58:05,988 --> 00:58:06,558

-:

:

00:58:06,903 --> 00:58:07,323

-:

:

00:58:07,323 --> 00:58:08,553

I didn't know.

:

00:58:08,603 --> 00:58:08,933

-:

:

00:58:09,143 --> 00:58:10,313

Well I saw it on road signs.

:

00:58:10,313 --> 00:58:15,083

There's like Crow Holler and Miller's

Run and, uh, Houston Holler and

:

00:58:15,218 --> 00:58:16,568

-:

Oh, it says hollow on it.

:

00:58:16,853 --> 00:58:17,303

-:

:

00:58:17,618 --> 00:58:19,118

-:

:

00:58:19,118 --> 00:58:20,288

I never noticed that.

:

00:58:21,038 --> 00:58:24,338

Although I don't remember seeing

road signs, so my mom's parents,

:

00:58:24,338 --> 00:58:25,658

they lived in Woodbine Holler.

:

00:58:25,658 --> 00:58:28,598

I don't remember ever seeing a road

sign that said Woodbine holler on it.

:

00:58:28,843 --> 00:58:35,953

But yeah, I think I probably like sometime

around when I was in college, I think

:

00:58:35,953 --> 00:58:38,863

probably reading, you know, sleepy Hollow,

:

00:58:39,363 --> 00:58:39,653

-:

:

00:58:39,843 --> 00:58:40,713

-:

that's a holler.

:

00:58:41,195 --> 00:58:41,915

I had no idea.

:

00:58:42,089 --> 00:58:45,449

We technically actually grew up in a

trailer park, so we weren't in a holler

:

00:58:45,809 --> 00:58:46,799

we moved out to the mountain side.

:

00:58:46,799 --> 00:58:48,449

So that's not a holler either.

:

00:58:48,632 --> 00:58:50,732

-:

to Big Run when I was 12 or 13.

:

00:58:50,882 --> 00:58:52,652

I think it was right

before my 13th birthday.

:

00:58:53,027 --> 00:58:54,617

. But it'd always be big run for me.

:

00:58:55,627 --> 00:58:56,407

I'm a big runner

:

00:58:58,597 --> 00:59:02,107

and that, that entire road is all

the people that have my last name.

:

00:59:02,467 --> 00:59:05,107

Um, and like the three

families that we're related to.

:

00:59:05,707 --> 00:59:08,527

cause you know, my family tree

is more like a two by four than,

:

00:59:08,922 --> 00:59:09,212

-:

:

00:59:09,457 --> 00:59:12,007

-:

kind of branching apparatus there.

:

00:59:12,217 --> 00:59:14,287

But hey, I was at, I was adopted into it.

:

00:59:14,287 --> 00:59:15,127

So I, I,

:

00:59:15,462 --> 00:59:15,812

-:

:

00:59:16,537 --> 00:59:18,577

-:

the other hand, my biological father

:

00:59:18,577 --> 00:59:20,287

and my adopted father are cousins,

:

00:59:20,302 --> 00:59:20,592

-:

:

00:59:20,677 --> 00:59:22,387

-:

my own cousin on paper.

:

00:59:23,707 --> 00:59:25,597

-:

what are you doing for New Year's?

:

00:59:27,302 --> 00:59:29,227

-:

staying home and enjoying my rent.

:

00:59:29,962 --> 00:59:30,382

-:

:

00:59:31,372 --> 00:59:35,902

Uh, I don't also not, uh, don't have

any, um, plans obviously, although

:

00:59:35,902 --> 00:59:37,132

I might be able to drive by then.

:

00:59:37,132 --> 00:59:37,672

Not sure.

:

00:59:37,762 --> 00:59:40,072

But I was thinking, should

we have a New Year's party?

:

00:59:40,627 --> 00:59:41,137

-:

:

00:59:41,332 --> 00:59:42,292

-:

A queer next New Year?

:

00:59:42,357 --> 00:59:43,912

Uh, uh, new Year's party.

:

00:59:44,497 --> 00:59:44,692

-:

:

00:59:46,020 --> 00:59:46,710

have to work.

:

00:59:46,740 --> 00:59:49,230

Um, I don't know what that

will look like for her,

:

00:59:49,525 --> 00:59:49,815

-:

:

00:59:49,830 --> 00:59:51,690

-:

school doesn't start until the 12th.

:

00:59:51,870 --> 00:59:56,400

Well, I, I took on another SNHU

class, but because for reasons.

:

00:59:56,899 --> 00:59:57,919

but that should be okay.

:

00:59:57,919 --> 00:59:59,209

That starts January 5th.

:

00:59:59,449 --> 01:00:02,149

I've already got my class set

up and all that for that, so

:

01:00:02,754 --> 01:00:02,874

-:

:

01:00:03,289 --> 01:00:05,299

-:

missed the income when we didn't have it.

:

01:00:05,599 --> 01:00:05,899

-:

:

01:00:05,904 --> 01:00:06,414

It's hard.

:

01:00:06,975 --> 01:00:07,705

Well, all right.

:

01:00:07,790 --> 01:00:09,740

We'll start to think about

what that might look like.

:

01:00:10,220 --> 01:00:10,670

-:

:

01:00:11,300 --> 01:00:13,880

we have any suggestions from our

listeners, please let us know.

:

01:00:14,135 --> 01:00:14,425

-:

:

01:00:14,660 --> 01:00:15,800

-:

a good New Year's movie?

:

01:00:16,325 --> 01:00:17,750

-:

Yeah, that's a good idea.

:

01:00:18,620 --> 01:00:19,220

Um, I.

:

01:00:19,220 --> 01:00:21,410

-:

Cutting Edge has the New Year's scene.

:

01:00:21,980 --> 01:00:23,060

Have you ever seen the cutting edge?

:

01:00:23,060 --> 01:00:23,780

I know you have.

:

01:00:24,410 --> 01:00:25,040

-:

:

01:00:25,940 --> 01:00:27,710

-:

It's an ice skating movie from

:

01:00:27,800 --> 01:00:28,430

-:

:

01:00:30,134 --> 01:00:30,944

From 92,

:

01:00:31,566 --> 01:00:33,901

-:

that movie maybe a million times.

:

01:00:33,931 --> 01:00:34,831

-:

that Db Sweeney?

:

01:00:34,861 --> 01:00:36,571

Oh my god, I haven't seen him forever.

:

01:00:37,351 --> 01:00:41,551

-:

hockey player, turns uh, uh, skate person.

:

01:00:42,170 --> 01:00:44,210

But there's a New Year's

Eve scene in that movie.

:

01:00:44,300 --> 01:00:44,690

So

:

01:00:46,525 --> 01:00:46,815

-:

:

01:00:47,635 --> 01:00:47,855

Um,

:

01:00:48,650 --> 01:00:50,390

-:

:

01:00:52,430 --> 01:00:53,655

is a famous line from that movie.

:

01:00:54,016 --> 01:00:55,426

-:

have to, I'll look up what, uh,

:

01:00:55,456 --> 01:00:57,646

new Year's, um, movies there are.

:

01:00:57,706 --> 01:01:01,396

Um, and then, um, yeah,

we'll go from there.

:

01:01:01,786 --> 01:01:07,696

And, uh, we should, I know we narrowed

down the movie to review for you

:

01:01:07,756 --> 01:01:10,546

to, um, Tucker Dale versus Evil and.

:

01:01:11,746 --> 01:01:18,361

Jennifer's body, um, but I don't think

we chose, so I might just put a poll

:

01:01:18,361 --> 01:01:21,751

up and we go with or do or do you

have, have you decided since then?

:

01:01:22,321 --> 01:01:24,421

-:

I, I'm up for whatever though.

:

01:01:24,421 --> 01:01:26,911

I think Jennifer's body would

probably be easier to access,

:

01:01:26,911 --> 01:01:28,141

but I'm open to whatever.

:

01:01:28,231 --> 01:01:28,621

-:

:

01:01:29,701 --> 01:01:31,111

Um, I'll look into that.

:

01:01:31,111 --> 01:01:34,681

I'll look into access, like what's

available and then, um, if it's

:

01:01:34,681 --> 01:01:37,561

a dead heat, I'll put a poll up

online and let people weigh in.

:

01:01:37,801 --> 01:01:39,601

You can even do polls on Spotify.

:

01:01:40,171 --> 01:01:43,741

Um, yeah, so do that.

:

01:01:43,801 --> 01:01:49,141

Uh, and, and then, or if it, if, I mean,

last I looked Tucker and Dale was kind of

:

01:01:49,141 --> 01:01:55,111

hard was I had to buy it to review it for

my other show, um, which means that we can

:

01:01:55,111 --> 01:01:58,621

watch it, but like listeners would have

a hard time finding it to watch along.

:

01:01:58,621 --> 01:02:00,001

So, um.

:

01:02:01,381 --> 01:02:06,991

We might choose Jennifer's body and then

come back to Tucker Dale some other time.

:

01:02:06,991 --> 01:02:08,491

Maybe we could do that one live.

:

01:02:09,421 --> 01:02:09,871

-:

:

01:02:09,961 --> 01:02:11,281

-:

could do that one in the discord.

:

01:02:11,381 --> 01:02:11,921

-:

Sounds good to me.

:

01:02:12,851 --> 01:02:14,201

-:

reminds me, we do have a discord.

:

01:02:14,201 --> 01:02:16,631

There's only like three people in

it, two of whom are me and Beck.

:

01:02:16,691 --> 01:02:20,891

Um, so if you would like to

join that, we can start it.

:

01:02:20,891 --> 01:02:26,441

It'll be easier, easier for us to have

watch parties if we utilize the Discord

:

01:02:26,441 --> 01:02:29,171

for nothing else than, than that.

:

01:02:29,888 --> 01:02:32,438

because we could just throw the

link for the watch party in there.

:

01:02:33,293 --> 01:02:38,483

Anyway, um, you can, all of those links

are in our, uh, the description here.

:

01:02:38,483 --> 01:02:44,183

You can, uh, join our coffee

for $2 and get in that discord.

:

01:02:44,363 --> 01:02:46,463

Um, I might just turn

it off and make it free.

:

01:02:46,583 --> 01:02:47,363

I was worried.

:

01:02:47,423 --> 01:02:50,303

The only reason there's a charge attached

to it was because I was afraid that

:

01:02:50,303 --> 01:02:56,303

we were gonna get, um, zoom bombed,

um, when we went live on YouTube.

:

01:02:56,693 --> 01:03:00,023

So I might just take that off of

there and y'all can give us money

:

01:03:00,023 --> 01:03:03,712

if you want to, oh, I, I haven't

been checking very much, but, uh,

:

01:03:03,712 --> 01:03:05,542

some more people did, uh, review us.

:

01:03:05,572 --> 01:03:09,082

Um, we have some more five

star reviews on Apple Podcasts.

:

01:03:10,582 --> 01:03:13,522

yeah, thanks to y'all who

did that, that helps us out.

:

01:03:13,912 --> 01:03:19,312

Uh, also on Spotify, YouTube, I, I know,

so we actually have quite a bit of,

:

01:03:20,290 --> 01:03:24,010

I'm not gonna say followers on YouTube

because it's like, it's like 40 something.

:

01:03:24,010 --> 01:03:29,860

So, but the, the, like, if y'all, if

y'all listening, didn't know this.

:

01:03:29,860 --> 01:03:33,160

YouTube has a podcast function,

so you don't have to watch videos.

:

01:03:33,460 --> 01:03:36,490

You can actually just listen

through YouTube's, um, thing.

:

01:03:37,060 --> 01:03:40,270

And it makes commenting and

replying to comments really easy.

:

01:03:40,270 --> 01:03:42,490

So I've been having a whole

ass conversation with a couple

:

01:03:42,490 --> 01:03:43,960

of folks on our YouTube.

:

01:03:44,650 --> 01:03:45,160

Um.

:

01:03:45,760 --> 01:03:50,200

So if, if you don't want to, to support

the Amazons and, and the Spotifys and

:

01:03:50,200 --> 01:03:55,000

such, if YouTube is a lesser evil for

you, you can subscribe on there and

:

01:03:55,660 --> 01:03:58,240

get notified when, when the show lands

:

01:03:58,411 --> 01:04:00,336

-:

I subscribed on, uh, YouTube.

:

01:04:00,336 --> 01:04:02,551

That way I can listen,

um, in my living room.

:

01:04:03,211 --> 01:04:03,631

-:

:

01:04:03,661 --> 01:04:04,081

Right.

:

01:04:04,081 --> 01:04:06,661

As like, because you can put

it on your TV there and just,

:

01:04:07,235 --> 01:04:07,595

-:

:

01:04:07,685 --> 01:04:10,775

I usually, I usually walk

around and clean it's on

:

01:04:11,145 --> 01:04:14,323

-:

Merry Christmas and Happy Holiday

:

01:04:14,323 --> 01:04:16,153

if you celebrate Happy Hanukkah.

:

01:04:16,543 --> 01:04:19,183

All the others that are going on right

now, I'm not familiar with all the

:

01:04:19,183 --> 01:04:24,523

various different holidays, but whichever

one you celebrate, more power to e.

:

01:04:28,408 --> 01:04:32,278

Any day now, all the, all the big

brands are gonna be switching to more

:

01:04:32,278 --> 01:04:34,768

power to you instead of happy holiday,

:

01:04:37,033 --> 01:04:39,043

-:

happy birthday and shit, just in case.

:

01:04:39,043 --> 01:04:39,733

It's that time.

:

01:04:39,958 --> 01:04:42,208

-:

just in case happy anniversary,

:

01:04:45,063 --> 01:04:46,453

happy Ra.

:

01:04:49,708 --> 01:04:51,328

Be good or be good at it.

:

01:04:53,531 --> 01:04:55,721

All right, well, we'll

see y'all next time.

:

01:04:55,841 --> 01:04:56,801

Say hi to your mom and them.

:

01:04:57,116 --> 01:04:57,716

-:

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QUEERNECKS
Queer Appalachian Stories & Culture.
Join the lively hosts of QUEERNECKS for a unique podcast experience exploring the intersection of Appalachian culture and the LGBTQ+ experience. Dive into engaging stories, humorous anecdotes, and thoughtful discussions on everything from Appalachian traditions and local life to current events, LGBTQ+ issues, and building an inclusive community. If you're looking for a podcast that blends authentic Appalachian voices with insightful queer perspectives, offering both laughter and meaningful connection, then welcome to the QUEERNECKS family. Subscribe now and be part of our growing community!
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