Never Have I Ever Shook a Baby

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Welcome to Queer Next, the podcast that puts the

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Yee Hall in y'all means hall.

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I'm your host, Beck,

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Speaker 2: and I'm your host.

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Dash.

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Welcome to today's episode.

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Dash: Just in case it's all gone.

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Hello, everybody Having

more technical difficulties

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Beck: That's my bad.

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Sorry

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Dash: Well, if like, it seems

like there's one decent internet

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provider near you Who's got the time?

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Let me put my phone on do not disturb.

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I put it on airplane mode.

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It just keeps, I keep getting

notifications I don't know how.

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I would say maybe it's something

to do with it being linked to my

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laptop and the laptop is on the Wi-Fi

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Beck: Right

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Dash: Anywho

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Beck: Do you wanna start

with our show and tell stuff?

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Dash: Yeah, we could

just jump right into it.

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Hell yeah.

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it, did, did it walk out?

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Is that why you said

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that?

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Beck: no, she is still hi- or he.

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Man, I keep getting his gender wrong.

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He feels like a girl to me.

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I don't know why.

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Dash: He, he does kinda look

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like one

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Beck: Yeah, he's hanging out

behind the, the washer and dryer.

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Rue keeps chasing him off.

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Rue ha- seems to have a problem with him.

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She, she's not aggressive.

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She just wants to chase him.

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It's getting better though.

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The cat, uh, my show and tell,

my item is my new cat that I got.

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Uh, let me tell everyone that.

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The name is yet to be decided on.

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Shana likes Gus Gus.

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I like Miles or maybe Jimmy.

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We're still going through it, trying to

figure out what we're gonna call him.

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But yeah, Rue, he's been

able to sleep with us.

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Um, he's using the litter box.

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He's eating fine.

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He's doing all those things.

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We're just still playing the get

to know you game a little bit

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between Rue and the new fella

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Dash: wondered how would go ' cause

Rue is also fairly new, so

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Beck: Yes.

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We got her in April.

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Dash: What does this look

like from her perspective?

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Beck: Yeah.

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Well, I don't know what her

history with cats is, you know?

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I don't know, so … But like

I said, she's let her sleep

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with us, so there's that.

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Let him sleep with us.

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So the- 11, 11 pounds.

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He's a little guy

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Dash: He…

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11 pound, but he's not fully grown yet

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Beck: But no, they said he's a

year to two, uh, one to two years

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Dash: Right.

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That's, cats like cats don't mature

until at least three So he's, probably

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got another couple pounds coming.

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Yeah.

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Beck: Well, living around

here, I can imagine he does.

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We like to eat in this house.

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Rue has gained so much weight that

you can see it in her pictures.

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Like, her face looks different

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Dash: Oh.

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Aww

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Beck: She's just a glutton for…

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She loves food.

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We don't overfeed her.

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We give

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her her little tiny food every night,

but she gets bites of everything

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Dash: Mine act like they're starving

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Beck: Yeah.

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Peter won't eat half the time

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She's real picky about when she'll eat.

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She won't eat in the morning,

she won't eat too late at night.

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If you feed, get her to eat something

like pepperoni or something first,

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it starts her up and then she'll eat.

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But if you just hand her a

plate of food, she won't eat it.

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She's real weird

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Dash: Interesting well, I guess I could do

my show and tell also ' cause I'm wearing

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it, so I don't know if you can see it.

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It's this T-shirt that

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Beck: a blue

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Dash: have worn and I should…

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Yeah.

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Beck: Oh.

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Dash: Can you read it?

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Beck: What's it say?

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I can't read it.

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Dash: It

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Beck: Never ever

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Dash: Never, ever, never shake a baby.

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With the, with one of those

like ribbons on it like the,

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Beck: Yehaw

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Dash: like for some charity.

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Beck: Where did you get that?

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At Goodwill?

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Dash: Yeah, it was the

Goodwill there in BG.

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This is one of…

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I've told this story about how

I almost died from laughing

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at, uh, Battlefield Earth.

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are two times while I was living

there in Bowling Green that I

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almost died from laughing, and

this shirt was the other one.

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we would go over to that

Goodwill all the time for…

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It was a pretty good, it was

a decent Goodwill, and it, it

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was like, you know, easy to…

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Pretty close by, and it's a

great way to kill some time.

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So we were over there constantly just

goofing around, looking at the stuff.

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That's where I got my copy

of Queerwolf, the VHS copy we

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were over in the, the clothing.

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It was me, Eric, and Sabrina going

through the clothes, and I pulled

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this one out 'cause I liked the color.

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It's a really pretty color of blue.

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And I, I read it, and I, I

blinked 'cause I was like, "What?"

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Why would I do that?

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And it kept getting funnier the longer

I looked at it, because it's not don't

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shake a baby, it's not never shake a baby,

it's never, ever, never shake a baby.

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Beck: That's

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Dash: ever, never

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Beck: that's like saying

gravy is not dishwasher safe.

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Like, no shit.

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Dash: And this was be- it, it, and

it was incredibly silly to me also.

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Not, I don't know if silly's the word.

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It just seemed so out of

nowhere because I didn't know…

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Like, I know not to shake a fucking

baby, but I didn't know that shaken

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baby syndrome is a thing, that

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Beck: Yehaw

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Dash: And there, and there was

this I don't know what those, those

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groups that a nonprofit, you know, a

charity that tries to educate people

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about the dangers of it and stuff.

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I didn't know all that shit.

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didn't know people needed to

be told not to shake babies.

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Beck: Right

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Dash: it was especially out of nowhere.

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I had no context for why a shirt

would say something like that.

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Like, why does a T-shirt say, " And

it fit me, and I was like,

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"This, I'm buying this thing."

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And I…

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It's one of those things that's like,

that's been almost 15 years ago now, and

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Beck: Yehaw

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Dash: I'll forget I have it and

then, 'cause I don't wear it out.

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Why would I

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Beck: Right?

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Dash: wear this?

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I should, I guess.

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Maybe people need to know.

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I could

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Beck: It's funny.

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When was the last time your

T-shirt saved a life, huh?

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Dash: But also on the off chance

that somebody finds it as funny

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as I did, I don't wanna be

responsible for that either.

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So I'll forget I have it, and then

I'll, you know, be rearranging or

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something and, or packing up and

moving more likely, and I saw it while

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I was going through look- finding

my winter stuff and things to wear.

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I was like, "Good God, that's right.

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I wanna be buried in this shirt."

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Beck: We had to dig out my long-

my, uh, favorite flannel, uh, this

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week, so it's that time of year again

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Dash: Yehaw

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Beck: How cold is it there?

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Dash: It, it's not so bad today actually.

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It's like, it's in the 60s,

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Beck: Yeah

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Dash: not too cold inside I had to order

my stuff to put the, that plastic you

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put over the windows to keep the heat in

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Beck: Yeah.

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Dash: Gonna have to do that this week

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Beck: I've done that many a time

It's exactly 70 here, so it got to 70

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here today I'm not ready for the cold

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Dash: No, there's something especially

diabolical about the cold n- uh,

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now that, like, there's something

wrong with, like, my nerves.

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The-- my feet feel like j- an elephant

is standing on them the s- as soon

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as they get slightly cold, and that's

how I spent all last winter, and it--

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when it got cold it, like, this week,

uh, my feet started to hurt again, and

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I was like, "Oh, God, that's right."

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all last winter I longed for

death because of how my feet felt.

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I can't do it again.

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Beck: Aw.

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Did you get, like, warmer socks?

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Dash: Socks make it worse

'cause they compress.

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They're not cold.

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My feet aren't actually cold.

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They just feel cold because

the nerves are stupid.

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Like, the, my nerves are, are broken.

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So they, I have, you know, often had…

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I don't have, I have, uh, what is it?

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Hypotension, like low blood pressure.

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So it's easy for my hands and feet

to get cold, but I can warm them up

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if I raise my blood pressure somehow.

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this is different.

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Like, I had I would have the

heated blanket over them,

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a heating pad under them.

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do shit.

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It's the most

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Beck: Wow

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Dash: feeling I, and I didn't

even realize that it…

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I thought, I was like, "Oh my God,

I'm dying because my, there's no

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circulation going to my feet."

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And then I saw the neurologist, and he was

like, "Hey, you've just got neuropathy."

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Great And I think that's why they

put me on, like, such a high dose of

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metformin ' Cause they thought, I think

they just assumed that it was diabetic

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neuropathy, like peripheral neuropathy

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Beck: Right?

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Dash: So they like jacked up my

metformin dose and then I felt

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like shit because I'm not diabetic.

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Like I was for a minute there and

then it was because of something else.

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I bet now though my chart

forever is gonna say diabetic.

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Like they had to take me off the metformin

because my blood sugar was too low.

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I kept passing

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Beck: Yehaw

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How much did they put you on?

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Dash: I was on 1,000 milligrams a

day, which I know is not as high

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as you can go, but it's too high

for somebody who's not diabetic.

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Beck: Yehaw.

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Yehaw So those were my

two news pieces this week.

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I got my cat and the transgender

kid coming out to me.

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That's pretty much all

that happened in my week

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Dash: I actually had I c- I mean, I get…

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All the weeks are kind of the

same right now because it's the

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semester, so it's hard to be like,

"Okay, what was different this time

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around, and why does that matter?"

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But, uh, you know, like, class was, was

better than it had been the first month.

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My big news is not really news at all.

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It kind of is, and it

just happened recently.

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I know that I already told the story

of watching This, this movie that I've

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been really excited about, Teenage

Sex and Death at Camp Miasma, Miasma,

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however you wanna pronounce it.

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If you're Gillian Anderson's

character, you say miasma in it.

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That's how she pronounces it.

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She's, she's got a a really nondescript

Southern accent That's, it works,

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but it's not a real Southern accent.

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Uh, but it, it works for her character

and it's actually kinda cute.

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But anyway I watched it again last night.

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I don't know if I wanna admit this.

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There's this…

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So it's, it's a it's

about the slasher genre.

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It is, but it's also about academics

and the way that we insist on

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squeezing the fun and the life out

of the, the things that we analyze.

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And there's sort of like these high

minded academic readings of lowbrow texts

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are missing the point a lot of times.

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So that's kinda what it's about.

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but it's also about, The slasher

genre and how, uh, sexual it

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is even when nobody's fucking.

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It's just that's what murder is

sexual, as Kristeva pointed out.

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But everybody, all the, all the big

characters in the slasher genre have

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gotten their redemption arcs, have

gotten their prequels, have gotten

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their thing that lets us know if, that

if they're not, not, like, sympathetic,

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at least why they are the way they are.

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some more successful than others.

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there's a kind of slasher that

hasn't, and it's, the big one is, uh,

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Sleepaway Camp, and nobody wants to

touch it because it's transphobic.

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This Sleepaway Camp in particular,

is, it's, uh, not the only one

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of its kind, but It's about a kid

who, uh, uh, who is a slasher and

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they're a secret transgender woman.

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This is like they're secretly a boy

and that's part of their monstrosity.

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like, there's a lot of versions of this.

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That one is never going to

get its sympathetic retread.

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Well, actually it literally is now,

probab- I think because of movies

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and, and filmmakers like Jane

Schoenbrun who made Camp Miasma.

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We're getting a transgender-helmed project

that is a reboot of Sleepaway Camp.

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So I never thought I'd see it.

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I'm really excited for that.

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Anyway, the, the character in,

uh, Camp Miasma is named Little

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Death, which is funny because

that's a, the euphemism for orgasm.

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There's this joke in, in the film

that this filmmaker played by Hannah

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Einbinder that she made a horror movie

that was a retelling of Psycho from

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the perspective of the shower curtain.

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and I can't tell if she actually did that.

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I think she actually did do that, like,

that in the, in the story we're supposed

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to believe that she did make that movie.

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but I was r- I was realizing when

I was watching it again last night

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that this is retelling the, monstrous

transgender slasher story the perspective

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of the orgasm Because murder is,

sexual, is, like, the penetrative act.

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Beck: Right.

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Dash: that's a, that's a male,

that's a cis male experience.

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That's the, the male gaze of

slasher is the penetration.

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And so this is sort of, it's

a feminist reframing as well.

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And I'm doing exactly what the movie is

making fun of academics for doing, but

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I, I will not be stopped but the char-

the murderer's name is Little Death.

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That's a euphemism for orgasm.

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Petite Mort,

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Beck: I didn't know that

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Dash: Yeah, that's what the French call…

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It's a French euphemism for an orgasm.

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And I don't know its

etymology, I just know that.

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So the- anyway, he- and he was, he was

drowned like Jason, but he was targeted

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because he was, I think, non-binary.

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They use really transphobic language

which ha- which has a utility in

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this moment because they don't

have to make it about his identity.

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a, it's a really old…

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They're, like, uh, the original is the

sleepaway camp, so it's from the, the late

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'70s, so they show the scene where they're

like, "Yeah, he was a hermaphrodite," you

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know, using language we don't use anymore.

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And they

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did that so that they didn't have to

get into the kid's identity actually

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was, 'cause it's not really the point.

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So they murder him.

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They drown him in the lake because

he's so disgusting to them.

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And he, when he comes back as, as

Little Death, as the, the slasher

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monster, the scene is he just comes

through and mows them all down

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with some sort of spear he has.

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and the song they chose to play was

Long December by The Counting Crows

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They, they did that thing where they

fixed the camera like a, a GoPro-style

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camera looking at his face, so we're

just looking straight down his face

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as he comes through and s- just slices

them all to bits, it's the catharsis of

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this moment as he murders these kids.

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I, like, cried it because I just was so

happy for him that he got to kill them.

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I was like, "God, this

is what's wrong with us."

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Like Or maybe it's not.

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Maybe the people who are taking the fun,

pe- the academics who are, who are beating

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queer theory dead fucking horses over, you

know, uh, reclaiming whatever, they're not

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crying about murder scenes in slashers.

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Maybe they, maybe they don't g- get to

have that experience It was weird though.

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And as soon as it happened, I

was like, "I don't know if I'm

323

: 00:14:58

gonna admit that that happened."

324

: 00:15:00

Beck: That's a really interesting

take on the, the horror genre.

325

: 00:15:04

I've never thought of it that way

326

: 00:15:05

Dash: That it's sexual or that it's queer?

327

: 00:15:07

Beck: Yeah.

328

: 00:15:08

Both

329

: 00:15:09

Dash: Yeah.

330

: 00:15:10

there's a, there's the scholars

who write about it, I think…

331

: 00:15:13

So Barbara Creed wrote the book, I

think it's called Monstrous-Feminine.

332

: 00:15:17

And she examines, like she, she ta- she

does like feminist readings of women on,

333

: 00:15:25

in, on screen in horror specifically.

334

: 00:15:28

There's quite a few queer theorists.

335

: 00:15:30

Harry Benshoff wrote a book called

Monsters in the Closet that's just

336

: 00:15:33

about like how queer monsters are.

337

: 00:15:36

Like monsters are their base level,

at their foundation queer But the

338

: 00:15:41

slasher, yeah, It's not, I mean,

it's, I guess you could say it's not

339

: 00:15:45

always queer, but it is always male

340

: 00:15:47

Are there any female slashers?

341

: 00:15:48

Beck: That is what I was gonna

say, that'd be a fun twist on it

342

: 00:15:51

Dash: Well, Little Death is non-binary

and also played by a non-binary

343

: 00:15:54

actor who was in I Saw the TV Glow

344

: 00:15:57

Beck: I haven't seen that yet, but I did

see it was on Tubi or one of those apps

345

: 00:16:02

Dash: Mubi, I think Schoenbrun has a deal

with Mubi because Teenage Sex and Death

346

: 00:16:07

was actually produced by Mubi, it's,

that's where it's going to streaming.

347

: 00:16:11

Now, it may already be there Listeners,

let us know if you've seen Teenage

348

: 00:16:15

Sex and Death at Camp Miasma.

349

: 00:16:17

I've Googled this so many times

It's probably gonna be next

350

: 00:16:21

month that it goes to streaming.

351

: 00:16:23

Let's see Yep, October 2nd.

352

: 00:16:25

So, oh, next, this coming Friday

353

: 00:16:27

Beck: Nice

354

: 00:16:28

Dash: I don't know anything about Mubi,

but if it's a free with ads service, then

355

: 00:16:33

thank you for you do I mean, I don't know.

356

: 00:16:36

I think, I think…

357

: 00:16:37

I recommend it.

358

: 00:16:37

It does have…

359

: 00:16:39

First of all, it's weird.

360

: 00:16:40

It's very weird, and there's a

couple of the scenes where Little

361

: 00:16:45

Death is slaughtering people, like,

they're, they're funny, but they,

362

: 00:16:49

you know, they are, it's CGI gore.

363

: 00:16:51

It's, although it

doesn't look real at all.

364

: 00:16:53

It looks like Kool-Aid

shooting up into the sky.

365

: 00:16:56

Beck: That's a fun visual.

366

: 00:16:57

Oh, yeah

367

: 00:17:05

Dash: Speaking of horror movies though

We, uh, we s- just a minute ago actually

368

: 00:17:09

were texting about like, you know,

whether we should do a, a h- a H-

369

: 00:17:13

what, Halloween movie again this year.

370

: 00:17:17

last year we did and I, you know,

this is not to say whether we should

371

: 00:17:20

like do a live or anything like that.

372

: 00:17:22

We can if we wanna get in

dumb Halloween costumes.

373

: 00:17:25

It, uh, you know, my, I'm, I

pitched Night of the Living Dead.

374

: 00:17:29

Anybody can stream Night of the

Living Dead whenever they feel like

375

: 00:17:32

it because it's in the public domain.

376

: 00:17:34

I streamed it on a

university YouTube page.

377

: 00:17:38

Like, it's totally…

378

: 00:17:39

Nobody can copyright strike you

379

: 00:17:41

Beck: I've never seen it before

380

: 00:17:43

Dash: Yehaw.

381

: 00:17:44

Beck: What year is it?

382

: 00:17:45

Dash: 68

383

: 00:17:46

Beck: Got ya

384

: 00:17:47

Dash: Ve- which is very important too.

385

: 00:17:48

I mean, I guess, I wouldn't wanna

do this, like, as much while we were

386

: 00:17:54

on it, but is culturally significant

because of the story it was telling,

387

: 00:17:59

what influenced the story, who the

lead actor was, specifically what

388

: 00:18:04

race he was, and the year it came out.

389

: 00:18:06

Like, the…

390

: 00:18:07

It was a, a kind of a, uh, just

a really wacky confluence of

391

: 00:18:12

what was going on in the US.

392

: 00:18:14

So they were filming in the summer

of '67, which was the race riots.

393

: 00:18:19

A lot of people think, when they

think about civil rights movement

394

: 00:18:24

of the '60s specifically for Black

Americans, they think of the South.

395

: 00:18:28

They think of Martin Luther King Jr.

396

: 00:18:30

They think of Selma.

397

: 00:18:31

They think of Jim Crow I, I think

there's a lot of reasons for that.

398

: 00:18:36

But, you know, Black people elsewhere in

the country, they were not better off.

399

: 00:18:41

The y- yes, they lived under

different circumstances than Jim Crow.

400

: 00:18:45

Jim Crow was hyper-specific.

401

: 00:18:49

But everything else about their, their

civil rights in the country was same

402

: 00:18:54

as Black folks living in the South.

403

: 00:18:56

So they the summer '67 race

riots were in the Midwest and

404

: 00:19:03

kind of in the flyover states.

405

: 00:19:06

And, and we don't even really

talk about them anymore.

406

: 00:19:08

We don't…

407

: 00:19:08

Th- tho- I don't remember ever being

taught about all of those actions,

408

: 00:19:13

all of the people who died, in the

same way that I wasn't, I wasn't

409

: 00:19:17

taught about the Philly bombing.

410

: 00:19:18

Were you?

411

: 00:19:19

Beck: Oh.

412

: 00:19:20

I don't know what that is

413

: 00:19:21

Dash: I believe it was the CI- oh, no.

414

: 00:19:24

Whichever one operates domestically.

415

: 00:19:26

US

416

: 00:19:27

Beck: The FBI.

417

: 00:19:28

The CIA can't

418

: 00:19:30

Dash: agency Black

neighborhood Philadelphia.

419

: 00:19:33

Longest Google.

420

: 00:19:34

You just have to do that now.

421

: 00:19:36

Oh, police department.

422

: 00:19:38

Okay.

423

: 00:19:39

It's be- oh, okay, so the police

department dropped federal munitions.

424

: 00:19:44

They had C4 and military grade

on a building West Philadelphia

425

: 00:19:52

Beck: Forward and raised.

426

: 00:19:54

Sorry

427

: 00:19:54

Dash: Suspected of having, it did, I

think the Black Panthers, uh, there was

428

: 00:19:59

a large Black Panther presence there.

429

: 00:20:01

Let's see.

430

: 00:20:02

Oh, there's a Wikipedia page.

431

: 00:20:04

For 90 minutes Move members.

432

: 00:20:07

So the name of this group that they were

Black Liberation Movement called M-O-V-E.

433

: 00:20:15

I don't know what it stands

for yet because I don't wanna

434

: 00:20:16

read this whole article.

435

: 00:20:17

They were, don't, I don't know why.

436

: 00:20:20

I, I don't know, again, I wasn't

taught this, but the Philadelphia

437

: 00:20:25

Police Department bombed this building

438

: 00:20:28

Beck: We don't talk enough about

how the cops are the villains in

439

: 00:20:31

many stories in American history

440

: 00:20:34

Dash: enough.

441

: 00:20:35

Oh, shit.

442

: 00:20:37

here it is.

443

: 00:20:37

For 90 minutes, the Philadelphia Police

Department allowed the resulting fire

444

: 00:20:40

to burn out of control, destroying

61 previously evacuated neighboring

445

: 00:20:46

houses over two city blocks, leaving

250 people homeless Six adults, five

446

: 00:20:52

children were killed in the attacks

447

: 00:20:55

Beck: That's terrible

448

: 00:20:56

Dash: Right.

449

: 00:20:56

Beck: For what reason?

450

: 00:20:58

Dash: I, I don't know.

451

: 00:21:00

There were complaints

from neighbors about…

452

: 00:21:04

They, it was like social complaints,

so they didn't like that they,

453

: 00:21:09

they said that their trash was not

getting taken out, they were loud.

454

: 00:21:13

Like, because they were a political

group, they using a bullhorn to, have

455

: 00:21:19

chants and things There's a note here.

456

: 00:21:22

I don't know what this source is.

457

: 00:21:23

"The bullhorn was broken and inoperable

for the three weeks prior to the bombing

458

: 00:21:28

So then the police went and obtained

arrest warrants for four of the occupants

459

: 00:21:33

with crimes including contempt of court,

oh, the humanity parole violation,

460

: 00:21:41

illegal possession of firearms.

461

: 00:21:44

Okay, those are…

462

: 00:21:45

You bombed them over those

463

: 00:21:49

Beck: You murdered 11 souls for that Wow

464

: 00:21:53

Dash: Yeah, I mean, there was

a standoff when it went down.

465

: 00:21:55

There's the Wikipedia article is

actually kind of short, but a little

466

: 00:21:59

too long for me to read on air here.

467

: 00:22:01

But I guess the point I was getting at is,

uh, there's so many, like, regionalities

468

: 00:22:08

that are left out of the, the civil

rights narrative And this was in the

469

: 00:22:12

'80s, so this was not even from the '60s.

470

: 00:22:14

Like this shit, I was

alive when this happened.

471

: 00:22:18

You were alive.

472

: 00:22:19

And so D- uh, Night of the Living Dead

was shot during summer of intense action

473

: 00:22:25

in the Midwest for, let me see if I

can They were all over the country.

474

: 00:22:31

Okay So 1967 is called the Long Hot

Summer, refers to an outbreak of

475

: 00:22:37

widespread racial unrest among major

American cities during the summer of '67.

476

: 00:22:41

Over 150 race riots erupted fueled by

specifically by grievances associated

477

: 00:22:48

with police brutality, engineered

poverty, racial inequality So they

478

: 00:22:53

had, there was Detroit Newark, Harlem,

the Watts Riots, those were '65

479

: 00:23:00

Beck: We talk about those

in my ethnic studies class

480

: 00:23:03

Dash: Yeah.

481

: 00:23:03

So this, while they were filming Night

of the Living Dead during the long,

482

: 00:23:07

hot summer of '67, and he just happened

to choose a Black man to play the

483

: 00:23:13

protagonist of this story And then a

month after the movie was released, uh,

484

: 00:23:19

King was assassinated And then Romero

accidentally didn't copyright the movie.

485

: 00:23:26

He changed the title at the last,

or swapped out the title card at the

486

: 00:23:29

last minute and forgot to watermark

it and move the copyright over.

487

: 00:23:33

For whatever reason, that invalidated

the entire copyright, so it's been in

488

: 00:23:36

the public domain since it came out

489

: 00:23:39

Beck: Oh, wow

490

: 00:23:40

Dash: So it ha- ha- again, like,

it was this perfect storm of…

491

: 00:23:44

It was, it was always destined to be

a cultural phenomenon, or at least

492

: 00:23:49

a really important cultural text

493

: 00:23:51

Beck: Right?

494

: 00:23:52

Dash: A- and it's good.

495

: 00:23:53

It's not a bad movie at all

496

: 00:23:55

Beck: Well, I look forward to watching it

497

: 00:23:56

Dash: Woohoo.

498

: 00:23:57

Beck: Rue, knock it off, toots

499

: 00:24:00

Dash: Good

500

: 00:24:00

Beck: Her name is like

the last thing I call her

501

: 00:24:03

Kitty Kitty has not come back out yet.

502

: 00:24:05

I hope he does

503

: 00:24:06

Dash: Have you tried

the, the treats trick?

504

: 00:24:09

Beck: Yes, he very, very much

likes the Incredibles or whatever,

505

: 00:24:12

whatever they're called, the crunchy

with the m- the meaty inside.

506

: 00:24:16

Perf- perfect sh- perfect, perfect,

what's … I forget what they're called.

507

: 00:24:21

Temptations, that's what they're called.

508

: 00:24:24

They're crunchy on the outside and

they have f- wet stuff on the inside.

509

: 00:24:27

We got the chicken and catnip

ones, and, like, he'll about

510

: 00:24:30

take your finger off for those.

511

: 00:24:31

We also got him some of those

lickable treats, the, the goo in

512

: 00:24:35

the tube, but we haven't gotten

to give him one of those yet, so

513

: 00:24:39

Dash: There's a bit of a learning

curve to those for most cats.

514

: 00:24:42

For all, mine anyway there was.

515

: 00:24:44

And may- it also was maybe the l-

a learning curve for me because

516

: 00:24:48

you have to, like, squeeze it at a

certain rate or it, like, goes all

517

: 00:24:52

over their face or drips on the floor

518

: 00:24:55

Beck: Maybe I'll just

put it on top of his food

519

: 00:24:57

Dash: Yeah, I've just

squirted it into a bowl before

520

: 00:25:00

Beck: He's doing great with the litter box

521

: 00:25:02

Dash: It comes so naturally to them

522

: 00:25:04

Beck: Yeah

523

: 00:25:05

Dash: It really is great design

other than the fact that it stinks

524

: 00:25:08

Beck: Are you gonna be a good girl?

525

: 00:25:09

No.

526

: 00:25:10

Rue says no, she's not

gonna be a good girl

527

: 00:25:13

Dash: today

528

: 00:25:14

Beck: Yeah.

529

: 00:25:14

Why must I chase the cat?

530

: 00:25:17

Dash: How did…

531

: 00:25:18

So the, season ended, didn't it?

532

: 00:25:21

The Women's Professional

533

: 00:25:23

Beck: Baseball?

534

: 00:25:24

Dash: Mm-hmm

535

: 00:25:24

Beck: It did.

536

: 00:25:25

The championship was, was last Tuesday.

537

: 00:25:28

It was a best of five, and it came

down to the game five to see who

538

: 00:25:31

would win, and the Los Angeles Queens

were the ones that came out on top.

539

: 00:25:35

I was rooting for the f- uh,

San Francisco Firebelles.

540

: 00:25:38

It was a good game.

541

: 00:25:39

It was a very good game.

542

: 00:25:40

Uh, but the LA Queens came out on top.

543

: 00:25:43

They were seeded number two,

544

: 00:25:45

Dash: Who are

545

: 00:25:45

all the teams?

546

: 00:25:46

Beck: There are, there's, uh,

the San Francisco Firebelles, the

547

: 00:25:49

Los Angeles Queens, the New York

Heights, and the Boston Hunters

548

: 00:25:54

Dash: Oh, so there's,

there's only five of them

549

: 00:25:57

Beck: 4

550

: 00:25:58

Dash: It's, is that sort of normal?

551

: 00:26:00

Did, did men's,

552

: 00:26:02

Beck: yeah, when they start like

that, a lot of leagues start this way.

553

: 00:26:05

And the fact that they, they played

in one stadium in one town they

554

: 00:26:09

s- they played in Springfield,

Illinois at Robin Roberts Stadium.

555

: 00:26:13

That way they didn't have the travel

costs and, and all that kind of stuff.

556

: 00:26:16

And they haven't said whether they're

gonna play in their cities next year or

557

: 00:26:19

if they're gonna do Springfield again.

558

: 00:26:21

But in Springfield made it

easy for everybody to catch,

559

: 00:26:24

you know, all the games

560

: 00:26:26

Dash: Yehaw You're gonna have

to get a season pass they have

561

: 00:26:30

Beck: I would love that.

562

: 00:26:30

I would absolutely love that.

563

: 00:26:32

But it's like a six-hour drive from here

564

: 00:26:35

Dash: that's my commute

565

: 00:26:36

Beck: Yeah.

566

: 00:26:36

But what would we do with the dogs?

567

: 00:26:38

Dash: Get a babysitter.

568

: 00:26:39

Board them.

569

: 00:26:41

That's my question every time

570

: 00:26:42

I wanna visit somebody though.

571

: 00:26:44

what am I gonna do with the cats?

572

: 00:26:45

Beck: Yeah.

573

: 00:26:46

Stupid responsibilities

574

: 00:26:48

Dash: I did think about maybe taking

us all camping close by just seeing

575

: 00:26:53

how they like it for my birthday.

576

: 00:26:55

Cause what else am I gonna do?

577

: 00:27:01

Beck: Stop.

578

: 00:27:02

Peeta.

579

: 00:27:03

Shana just left, so they get

emotional when somebody leaves

580

: 00:27:07

Peta's behavior has really

ratcheted up in the last few months.

581

: 00:27:10

We have an appointment next week

to take her to get on, get her on

582

: 00:27:12

a daily medicine, so maybe that'll

calm her down a little bit, 'cause

583

: 00:27:16

she's just come out of pocket, man.

584

: 00:27:18

She … You can't have her in a car.

585

: 00:27:20

She barks at everything.

586

: 00:27:22

She bit Shannon in the face the

other day just for touching her foot.

587

: 00:27:26

Like, not hard 'cause she

doesn't have a lot of teeth

588

: 00:27:27

left, but she tried it, you know?

589

: 00:27:30

Dash: is, is there like doggy dementia?

590

: 00:27:32

Beck: There is.

591

: 00:27:33

There is.

592

: 00:27:34

I think she's just got arthritis

really bad in her knees and

593

: 00:27:37

stuff, and I think she's in pain.

594

: 00:27:39

So maybe we can do something about that.

595

: 00:27:41

I don't know.

596

: 00:27:42

But she has gotten so mean

in the last couple of months,

597

: 00:27:45

Dash: Yehaw,

598

: 00:27:45

Beck: and so reactive

599

: 00:27:47

Dash: Well, I mean, she's got a

limited range of communication tools

600

: 00:27:52

Beck: Yeah.

601

: 00:27:53

Plus her eyes are getting real cloudy too.

602

: 00:27:55

She's at least 13.

603

: 00:27:56

We've had her for 13 years, so

604

: 00:27:59

Dash: Yeah, and then she was

not a baby when you got her

605

: 00:28:02

Beck: No, we think she was about

six months old when we got her

606

: 00:28:05

'cause she wasn't full grown yet.

607

: 00:28:06

But she could have been, you

know, even older than that.

608

: 00:28:08

We don't know.

609

: 00:28:10

We, it was, it was June when we found

her, and I figured maybe she was

610

: 00:28:12

somebody's Christmas baby, 'cause a lot

of people do that with designer dogs.

611

: 00:28:16

They give them for Christmas

presents which would put her

612

: 00:28:19

born around Thanksgiving of 2013.

613

: 00:28:22

So

614

: 00:28:23

Dash: Nessa had to surrender

their dog that they've had for,

615

: 00:28:26

I don't know how long it's been.

616

: 00:28:28

It's maybe a year.

617

: 00:28:30

It's not been like a long, long time,

but long enough that the problem

618

: 00:28:32

should have been addressed by now.

619

: 00:28:35

Similar to Pita, like he was

really anxious and really reactive

620

: 00:28:39

and had snapped at people, and

he was not a cute little dog.

621

: 00:28:43

He was a proper sized dog, and you

cannot have a, a dog-sized dog that

622

: 00:28:49

snaps at the HVAC man when he comes in.

623

: 00:28:51

Beck: Yeah.

624

: 00:28:52

Yeah.

625

: 00:28:53

'Cause people expect with a

chihuahua, you know, 'cause that's

626

: 00:28:57

their, that's their reputation.

627

: 00:28:59

But that wasn't Pita.

628

: 00:29:00

She was always…

629

: 00:29:01

We could take her places.

630

: 00:29:02

W- like, we used to make the car

j- journey from, from here down

631

: 00:29:06

home, and it was a five-hour drive

every time, and she had no problem.

632

: 00:29:09

Now she's barking at trucks that are

driving next to us and, you know,

633

: 00:29:13

and mo- h- heaven forbid somebody

on a motorcycle or a bicycle go by.

634

: 00:29:17

Man, or if she's on campus and

one of those food delivery robots.

635

: 00:29:21

She hates a food delivery robot

with every little ounce of her being

636

: 00:29:26

Dash: I've never, I've never

seen one in person before.

637

: 00:29:29

Beck: Oh, they're cute

638

: 00:29:30

Dash: they exist

639

: 00:29:31

Beck: They, uh, changed companies that

have them on, on the campus, uh, on the

640

: 00:29:35

BG campus, and now they're a little bit

bigger and they have screens for faces

641

: 00:29:40

and they make heart eyes and stuff.

642

: 00:29:42

They're a little less

little buddy looking.

643

: 00:29:45

Like, I think they've taken some of

the humanization out of it, you know?

644

: 00:29:49

It used to be, like, the littler

ones, I don't know, you just felt

645

: 00:29:52

bad for them and you'd be like,

"Go, little buddy, go," you know?

646

: 00:29:55

Dash: Yeah

647

: 00:29:56

Beck: I helped more than one over a curb

648

: 00:29:58

Dash: Oh, every- everybody has

their own little, version of them,

649

: 00:30:02

all these different companies

650

: 00:30:04

Beck: Yehaw

651

: 00:30:05

Dash: Doordashes looks really unhinged

652

: 00:30:08

Beck: We ordered DoorDash last night

653

: 00:30:10

Vichina de Carlos

654

: 00:30:11

Dash: I uninstalled Instacart, DoorDash,

Uber, Lyft, all the convenience apps.

655

: 00:30:18

What, those are like

the gig apps, you know?

656

: 00:30:21

Like, they're fucking useless out here.

657

: 00:30:23

No need to let them be

taking up room on my phone

658

: 00:30:26

Beck: Yeah

659

: 00:30:27

Dash: I've been at houses though

in this town that my new job is in

660

: 00:30:32

Which feels That tends to snowball.

661

: 00:30:35

You know how like when you're

looking at cars, oh yeah, you,

662

: 00:30:38

you're gonna buy a car But I do

have to get rid of this one somehow.

663

: 00:30:43

How do I convince somebody to

buy this piece of shit off of me?

664

: 00:30:47

Beck: I heard the song Royals by

Lorde earlier today, and it's been

665

: 00:30:50

stuck in my head all afternoon.

666

: 00:30:52

Dash: That's a good

667

: 00:30:53

Beck: I'm not a big fan of that.

668

: 00:30:54

I don't know.

669

: 00:30:54

I'm not a big fan of it, but it's

stuck in my head forever now.

670

: 00:30:58

At least it's not Goodbye Earl

671

: 00:31:00

Dash: I've got a playlist

I've been listening to.

672

: 00:31:03

I, I like to make Spotify

playlists on stupid themes.

673

: 00:31:08

So I've got two I've been going

back and forth with right now.

674

: 00:31:11

One of them is like a proto-art pop

so it's like people that, people that

675

: 00:31:19

you could imagine were playing in Lady

Gaga's head when she wrote Artpop.

676

: 00:31:24

And so it's like Tori Amos,

PJR- PJ Harvey, and Kate

677

: 00:31:29

Bush, and people like that.

678

: 00:31:31

And then I have another one is

90s lesbian flannel starter pack

679

: 00:31:37

Beck: Yehaw

680

: 00:31:38

I am not a Tori Amos or, or a

Kate Bush fan, like even at all.

681

: 00:31:41

My ex-girlfriend was big into

both of those, and I heard enough

682

: 00:31:45

of that for the rest of my life

683

: 00:31:47

Dash: Yeah,

684

: 00:31:47

Beck: Maybe it was just the

one she liked, I don't know.

685

: 00:31:50

But it's just not for me.

686

: 00:31:52

I need more than a white

girl crying over a piano

687

: 00:31:54

Dash: I mean, it's fair to call Tori Amos

that, I guess, even though I love her,

688

: 00:31:57

but Kate Bush is much more than that.

689

: 00:32:00

She's fucking crazy.

690

: 00:32:02

But a lot of Bjork and a lot

of um, who else is on here?

691

: 00:32:07

Bikini Kill, Sleater-Kinney

A lot of Velvet Underground.

692

: 00:32:13

Nico, I was listening to Nico while

I was on the treadmill last night,

693

: 00:32:17

and that was a weird mix I let the

students choose to analyze 'cause I

694

: 00:32:24

just wanted to see kind of how they

would do with something I didn't assign

695

: 00:32:28

them, and I am certain I'm gonna be

getting so many country songs about God.

696

: 00:32:35

Beck: Yehaw

697

: 00:32:36

Dash: It's all they care about here.

698

: 00:32:38

I've already seen several of them,

like, in the discussion board.

699

: 00:32:41

I'm like, God.

700

: 00:32:42

Which is fair.

701

: 00:32:42

I let you choose, and I knew that it was

a thing when I chose it, but now I'm like,

702

: 00:32:47

"I don't wanna listen to all these songs."

703

: 00:32:49

Beck: Yeah.

704

: 00:32:51

When I would taught we had a song,

uh, lyric, unpacking assignment,

705

: 00:32:57

and one girl, I didn't think, you

know, I didn't know all the songs.

706

: 00:33:00

I had them tell me what they were doing.

707

: 00:33:02

But, uh, the, I think it's REO

Speedwagon, "When the lights go

708

: 00:33:06

down in the city," that song.

709

: 00:33:09

That only has, like, five words

in the entire freaking song,

710

: 00:33:12

and her paper was just like

711

: 00:33:15

Dash: It's about dusk.

712

: 00:33:17

It's like doing a lyrical

analysis of I Can't Get No

713

: 00:33:21

Satisfaction by The Rolling Stones.

714

: 00:33:25

Actually, there might be a

little more in that song than…

715

: 00:33:28

Beck: Yehaw

716

: 00:33:28

Dash: Well, it's something I told them,

'cause I was like, " There's more to…

717

: 00:33:32

If you choose a song or a poem or

whatever, if you choose a song,

718

: 00:33:36

there's more to it than the lyrics."

719

: 00:33:37

And I told them they had to notice

five things, and then describe

720

: 00:33:41

what it, what each of them was.

721

: 00:33:42

Like, is it a device?

722

: 00:33:45

Is it a metaphor?

723

: 00:33:46

Are you talking about the way

the guitar sounds, like d-

724

: 00:33:50

the distortion on the guitar?

725

: 00:33:51

So, like, I s- like you can

literally notice anything about

726

: 00:33:54

whatever it is you choose.

727

: 00:33:56

The point is to describe it so that a

reader would understand it, and then

728

: 00:34:00

make an interpretive claim about it.

729

: 00:34:02

So tell me why the author, the singer, the

songwriter the artist if you chose like a

730

: 00:34:08

painting or something, why did they do it?

731

: 00:34:10

and so I said, like, "All

five of your things can't be

732

: 00:34:12

just what the song's about.

733

: 00:34:14

I

734

: 00:34:14

Beck: Right?

735

: 00:34:15

Dash: you to tell me this song is

about how Jesus died for your sins."

736

: 00:34:19

' Cause I know that's what it's

about, because that's what the

737

: 00:34:23

lyrics say over and over again.

738

: 00:34:25

In fact, that's what the chorus says.

739

: 00:34:27

That's the, the chorus is Jesus died for

my sins and I can't stop thinking about it

740

: 00:34:32

Beck: One of the craziest papers that

I got when I was teaching English the

741

: 00:34:35

first assignment of the semester is

to pick a word and, uh, trace down

742

: 00:34:40

its origin and talk about where it

came from and that kind of thing.

743

: 00:34:43

It's just a descriptive writing.

744

: 00:34:45

And so I told them they could

choose any word they wanted, right?

745

: 00:34:47

And they were like, "So we can use shit?"

746

: 00:34:49

And I was like, "Absolutely.

747

: 00:34:50

That has a long history," you know?

748

: 00:34:52

And so they, one guy decided to do

the word fuck, which would, could

749

: 00:34:55

have been a good paper, 'cause

there's a lot to say about that word.

750

: 00:34:58

But he made it basically a joke,

and in his paper, you might wanna

751

: 00:35:02

bleep this he used the example

sentence, "Fuck me harder, daddy."

752

: 00:35:06

I gave him a zero and made

him rewrite the entire paper

753

: 00:35:09

because that was not okay by me.

754

: 00:35:11

They, he tried it.

755

: 00:35:13

He absolutely tried it

756

: 00:35:14

Dash: And I, I warned mine.

757

: 00:35:16

I was like, "I don't care if

your song has cussing in it.

758

: 00:35:18

I, I don't care what genre it is."

759

: 00:35:20

I said, "Here's the things you need to

list," 'cause it's a discussion board,

760

: 00:35:24

other people are gonna be reading it.

761

: 00:35:25

I said, "If it's got violent

activity in it, you put a content

762

: 00:35:28

warning about that on there.

763

: 00:35:29

If it has sexual like, uh, acts in it, in

that you'd put a content warning on that.

764

: 00:35:36

You know, if it has a lot of cussing

and explicit language, you, you just

765

: 00:35:40

tell us so that we don't listen to

the song and be like, 'Oh my God,

766

: 00:35:45

I wish I'd never heard that.'"

767

: 00:35:46

But…

768

: 00:35:46

And I said, "But also, you can't write a

pap- like, y- your analysis can't be, 'I

769

: 00:35:52

noticed you said the word fuck here.'"

770

: 00:35:55

That's not what's notable about this.

771

: 00:35:58

So, and, and hopefully they don't try

it, but if they do, it's like, "Well,

772

: 00:36:02

that is not what I told you to do."

773

: 00:36:04

And I love laughing.

774

: 00:36:05

If you can, if you can say something

stupid and make me laugh, that's cool.

775

: 00:36:09

But you also still need to make a good

faith attempt at the r- at the assignment.

776

: 00:36:13

Oh, dude, I had one.

777

: 00:36:15

for my 102 which is, like,

the more research one, I

778

: 00:36:19

didn't really pick a textbook.

779

: 00:36:20

I'm, I'm just sort of giving them readings

and giving them, like, resources and,

780

: 00:36:26

and guidance on evaluating sources and

how to, how to use the database and…

781

: 00:36:31

Like, at c- at a community college,

it's, uh, what kind of projects they

782

: 00:36:36

need to be able, be prepared to do in

the next classes they go to are a little

783

: 00:36:40

bit different than at a four year.

784

: 00:36:43

But so there's some

really interesting things.

785

: 00:36:45

You know, this one kid's

like, "I'm gonna…

786

: 00:36:47

My research proposal is what happens

when you feed a cow like, this particular

787

: 00:36:52

kind of corn over this kind of wheat?"

788

: 00:36:55

And I was like, "Okay, whatever.

789

: 00:36:57

I don't know that.

790

: 00:36:57

That's fine."

791

: 00:36:58

' Cause they're

792

: 00:36:59

Beck: Right?

793

: 00:36:59

Dash: lot of them are ag majors.

794

: 00:37:01

So, and I didn't put any

restrictions on it, and if it

795

: 00:37:05

sounds like research, I approved it.

796

: 00:37:07

I don't give a fuck.

797

: 00:37:08

But this one girl I read it this week.

798

: 00:37:11

There were two of them that

really stood out to me.

799

: 00:37:14

One was, "My research paper

is sourdough starters."

800

: 00:37:19

and at first I said, "Okay, cool.

801

: 00:37:22

I mean, what about them?"

802

: 00:37:23

then she was like, but then she went on

and she's like, "My, my research questions

803

: 00:37:27

are why do so many people get them wrong?"

804

: 00:37:29

I was like, "That is not

805

: 00:37:33

Why are s- why are so many people

bad at making sourdough bread?

806

: 00:37:36

It's not a research project.

807

: 00:37:38

A- and I'm like, I, I'm picturing her.

808

: 00:37:40

I'm like, "You are…

809

: 00:37:41

I know exactly who you are."

810

: 00:37:43

Like, you're a trad wife.

811

: 00:37:44

Like, there's a lot of that around here

too, which is probably what, where the

812

: 00:37:49

other one came from as well, because her

research project was why babies are good

813

: 00:37:54

Beck: Uh

814

: 00:37:56

Dash: As opposed to…

815

: 00:37:57

'Cause I was like, first

of all, that's an argument.

816

: 00:38:00

That's not a research project,

and I specifically said, "Research

817

: 00:38:03

something you don't already, haven't

already made your mind up about."

818

: 00:38:06

I think she wanted to talk about abortion,

but she didn't wanna talk about abortion,

819

: 00:38:10

also was kind of talking about people.

820

: 00:38:11

I think she's a Quiverfull.

821

: 00:38:13

You know this Quiverfull?

822

: 00:38:15

Beck: Oh, yes, I do.

823

: 00:38:16

I know one

824

: 00:38:18

' Dash: Cause she was like, for

ins- for example, my, I have 11

825

: 00:38:21

siblings, and I was like, "What?"

826

: 00:38:23

And then she was like, "Everybody

wants to say that having too

827

: 00:38:26

many babies is bad, but…"

828

: 00:38:27

And I was like, "Where are we going?

829

: 00:38:29

How did we get here?"

830

: 00:38:30

And she's like, "But they just

don't know the science on it."

831

: 00:38:32

And I was like, "What?

832

: 00:38:35

What science is

833

: 00:38:36

Beck: what science?

834

: 00:38:39

Dash: And then, like, this, the, uh, the

part, the proposal of course was supposed

835

: 00:38:42

to have a working bibliography in it.

836

: 00:38:43

There was no…

837

: 00:38:44

And I, so I wrote on it.

838

: 00:38:45

I was like, "You mentioned

science multiple times.

839

: 00:38:48

is it?

840

: 00:38:49

There's no sources here."

841

: 00:38:50

uh, so I, I put that on there, and

then she emailed me, and sh- 'cause she

842

: 00:38:54

didn't get a very good grade, you know?

843

: 00:38:56

She was like, "I, I read your feedback.

844

: 00:38:58

There was one source I found last

year when I was in high school, but

845

: 00:39:02

I, I, I found it through this, uh,

website called JSTOR, and I don't

846

: 00:39:05

know, you know, how to get…"

847

: 00:39:07

I was like, "We have,

we have JSTOR, honey.

848

: 00:39:11

Also, you're gonna need more than one."

849

: 00:39:13

So I'm looking forward to reading

that a little bit more than analysis

850

: 00:39:16

of how Jesus died for our sins.

851

: 00:39:18

It's, you

852

: 00:39:19

Beck: Yehaw

853

: 00:39:19

Dash: fairly innocuous if a student wants

to analyze a song about their religion,

854

: 00:39:24

whatever I open the door to that.

855

: 00:39:27

It's, it's, it fits the assignment.

856

: 00:39:29

But if I say research project, give you

many multiple of examples of what that

857

: 00:39:34

looks like, what it doesn't look like, and

what I need to give you a passing grade

858

: 00:39:39

on it, and you just shit out some diatribe

about how everybody needs to be having

859

: 00:39:43

more babies, and I know that it's that

great replacement bullshit, you know that?

860

: 00:39:48

Beck: Yeah.

861

: 00:39:49

Yeah.

862

: 00:39:49

Dash: I know that's what it

863

: 00:39:50

Beck: The racist, yeah, racist bullshit.

864

: 00:39:53

Yep

865

: 00:39:54

Dash: for folks are, even if they

are not, like, outright that, they're

866

: 00:39:58

all under the umbrella of that.

867

: 00:39:59

Like, all of their

868

: 00:40:00

Beck: Yep.

869

: 00:40:01

Dash: come from that

vision forum creepy shit

870

: 00:40:09

Beck: Yeah, the girl I know I went to high

school with and played ball with growing

871

: 00:40:12

up and she married a guy that we went

to high school with too, and they have,

872

: 00:40:16

like, nine kids now, and she doesn't work.

873

: 00:40:19

She's basically home and barefoot

and pregnant all the time.

874

: 00:40:22

Though, as she approaches 50,

I'm assuming the pregnancies

875

: 00:40:25

have stopped, I would hope.

876

: 00:40:27

I had to unfriend her a long

time ago 'cause I just could

877

: 00:40:29

not say shit, you know?

878

: 00:40:31

So she had to go.

879

: 00:40:33

If, if I had everybody back who I

have deleted off Facebook, I would

880

: 00:40:36

probably have, like, 1,000 friends.

881

: 00:40:38

As it is, I have, like, 400.

882

: 00:40:41

I, I am quick to unfriend people

883

: 00:40:44

Dash: I mean, at our age, why not?

884

: 00:40:47

Why am

885

: 00:40:47

Beck: Yehaw

886

: 00:40:48

Dash: I'm not gonna give you any

more second chances or any more

887

: 00:40:51

Beck: Yeah.

888

: 00:40:52

Dash: I guess

889

: 00:40:53

Beck: She went off this girl that we're

talking about back when I was doing

890

: 00:40:55

my undergrad, I would just talk about

different things that we were doing

891

: 00:40:58

in class or papers that I was writing.

892

: 00:41:00

And for a speech class, we had to

pick somebody of importance and give a

893

: 00:41:03

speech about them, so I picked Oprah.

894

: 00:41:05

Of all people, I picked Oprah to do it on.

895

: 00:41:08

And she went off on a diatribe

about how Oprah was the devil

896

: 00:41:12

and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

897

: 00:41:13

And another time, I was talking about

taking a geology class, and she told

898

: 00:41:18

me to ask my teacher why I didn't, why

there was no complete geological record

899

: 00:41:22

on the Earth, and I Googled that, and

that was some conspiracy theory bullshit.

900

: 00:41:27

Like,

901

: 00:41:27

Dash: Oh yeah

902

: 00:41:28

Beck: she, she had two of them.

903

: 00:41:29

Yeah, so that was enough of Olivia for me

904

: 00:41:32

Dash: the young earth theory or whatever.

905

: 00:41:35

Like, a-

906

: 00:41:36

Beck: Yehaw

907

: 00:41:36

Dash: a- and what's crazy

about that is that, like, why

908

: 00:41:40

do you need that to be true?

909

: 00:41:42

nothing you say is gonna convince me that

your fantasy that you live in is true.

910

: 00:41:48

So if it's that, then

just, you can just quit.

911

: 00:41:53

Like, you can't convince me

to s- to join your religion.

912

: 00:41:58

Or is it that you want to feel less, you

wanna look less crazy and stupid to us?

913

: 00:42:04

'Cause that's not gonna do that, right?

914

: 00:42:07

Like, it's, it's, it's not the

fact There's plenty else going on.

915

: 00:42:10

Or are you trying to convince yourself?

916

: 00:42:13

Beck: Good question

917

: 00:42:14

Dash: up sources, that's what I think.

918

: 00:42:16

I'm like, "This is for you to

convince yourself, isn't it?"

919

: 00:42:19

Beck: Yeah.

920

: 00:42:20

Have you ever been involuntarily

roped into somebody's religion before?

921

: 00:42:24

Dash: How deeply?

922

: 00:42:26

I don't

923

: 00:42:26

think

924

: 00:42:26

Beck: I was thinking

925

: 00:42:27

Dash: wanna

926

: 00:42:28

Beck: was a ti- uh, w- when I lived in

Huntington, West Virginia, when I first

927

: 00:42:31

moved there one of my first, my very

first job there was, uh, with Autism

928

: 00:42:35

Services Center, working with individuals

in the community with developmental

929

: 00:42:38

delays and that kind of stuff.

930

: 00:42:40

And one young lady that I worked with,

her name was Brenda, she lived out in the

931

: 00:42:43

community, and she wanted to go to church.

932

: 00:42:45

And I was like, "Uh, I

don't know about that."

933

: 00:42:48

But then I was like, "Okay,

it's extra money, whatever.

934

: 00:42:50

I'll take her."

935

: 00:42:51

And so I took her, and it was

a non-denominational church.

936

: 00:42:55

And the second time that I took her, like,

at the very end of the service, like, 10

937

: 00:43:00

people crowded around me and anointed my

forehead with oil and prayed around me.

938

: 00:43:04

And it was like, what the

fuck is happening here?

939

: 00:43:07

You know?

940

: 00:43:08

It was just all, like, instant,

and they were praying over me and

941

: 00:43:12

anointing me, and it was so weird.

942

: 00:43:13

I refused to ever take her back.

943

: 00:43:15

I was like, "Nope, I

ain't doing that again."

944

: 00:43:17

I will be hooking for Jesus

945

: 00:43:19

Dash: I don't think i- in that, not

in like a literally religious setting.

946

: 00:43:24

One time though Alcoholics

Anonymous, is, is a religion.

947

: 00:43:28

It's a cult.

948

: 00:43:29

And I went with a friend of mine.

949

: 00:43:32

He was court mandated to go.

950

: 00:43:34

is actually I think the only court

mandated religion in the US anyway.

951

: 00:43:39

So he had gotten like two DUIs, and

so he was, he was, uh, required to go.

952

: 00:43:44

A- and he did have a

problem, and he was…

953

: 00:43:46

He, he wanted help.

954

: 00:43:47

So had gone up to visit him.

955

: 00:43:50

He lived, uh, up in Louisville, and I was

like, "Oh, yeah, sure, I'll go with you."

956

: 00:43:55

He's like, "I have to go

and get my paper signed."

957

: 00:43:57

And I was like, "Okay."

958

: 00:43:58

So I'm sitting in AA with him, and

you have to introduce yourself.

959

: 00:44:03

And I, I said, "What should I say?"

960

: 00:44:06

I, I said something like, "Should

I just say that I'm just, I'm just

961

: 00:44:09

visiting or something like that?"

962

: 00:44:10

And he said, "No, because they'll

think that you're lying and you're not

963

: 00:44:13

telling the truth about whether you're

an alcoholic or not, so they will

964

: 00:44:16

like intervention you force you to say

that you're an alcoholic if you try

965

: 00:44:20

not to say that you're an alcoholic."

966

: 00:44:23

And I was like, "Okay.

967

: 00:44:24

What do I say then?"

968

: 00:44:25

And he goes, "You have to say

like you're here to support me."

969

: 00:44:29

And he was like, "Even then

they might not believe that…

970

: 00:44:33

They're, they're gonna try to

convince you you're an alcoholic

971

: 00:44:35

or, you know, no matter what."

972

: 00:44:37

they sure did.

973

: 00:44:39

And I was like, "It is…

974

: 00:44:40

Just 'cause y'all happen to be right.

975

: 00:44:42

Like, this is unrelated."

976

: 00:44:44

no, I don't want to join

977

: 00:44:46

Beck: When I was a kid, one time I had

to buy my grandma a present, and I was at

978

: 00:44:49

the hospital gift shop for whatever reason

when I purchased it, and I got her a

979

: 00:44:54

little pillow that had the, the AA prayer.

980

: 00:44:57

Do you know what I'm talking about?

981

: 00:44:58

"God, grant me the serenity."

982

: 00:45:00

I had no idea, right?

983

: 00:45:02

I just thought it was

a pretty little saying.

984

: 00:45:04

And I gave it to my grandma, and

she was like, "What is this?"

985

: 00:45:08

' Cause she was a teetotaler, like

Pentecostal mamaw, like never

986

: 00:45:12

wore pants in her life, you know.

987

: 00:45:14

I don't think I ever knew my

grandma having alcohol ever, ever.

988

: 00:45:18

Not on Virginia's watch, uh-uh.

989

: 00:45:20

Dash: That is funny.

990

: 00:45:22

It is a cute little saying

991

: 00:45:24

Beck: I thought it was quite

nice when I was like seven

992

: 00:45:27

Dash: It's no never ever

never shake a baby, though.

993

: 00:45:31

Beck: No, it will never be a

never, ever, never shake a baby.

994

: 00:45:34

It will never be that.

995

: 00:45:35

It will never, ever, never be that.

996

: 00:45:37

Dash: Well, I guess let's hear

from this week's sponsor Okay.

997

: 00:45:41

So there's a kind of sponsor that is

perhaps more of a category, so I'll break

998

: 00:45:45

this up into subcategories later on here.

999

: 00:45:48

But today's topic is redneck things nice

white middle class people discovered while

: 1000

00:45:54,622 --> 00:45:59,482

class touristing Contemporary hyper-online

culture throws the term Christopher

: 1001

00:45:59,482 --> 00:46:03,455

Columbusing around a bit loosely to

refer to all such appropriations.

: 1002

00:46:03,765 --> 00:46:06,865

But Queer Next does not condone the

Christopher Columbusing of Christopher

: 1003

00:46:06,865 --> 00:46:11,085

Columbusing, because we have read

Edward Said and Gayatri Spivak,

: 1004

00:46:11,085 --> 00:46:13,745

and we know the difference between

appropriation and obliteration.

: 1005

00:46:14,245 --> 00:46:17,405

For instance, I stole this

bit from Sesame Street.

: 1006

00:46:17,435 --> 00:46:18,645

I did not colonize it.

: 1007

00:46:19,145 --> 00:46:27,465

Subcategories of RTNWMCPDWCT include

get off my gravel driveway, AKA no,

: 1008

00:46:27,495 --> 00:46:33,403

not like that, not in this holler,

was just not necessary, well, I'll

: 1009

00:46:33,403 --> 00:46:39,285

be, AKA I see your point, hush, the

neighbors will hear you, AKA well, when

: 1010

00:46:39,285 --> 00:46:41,155

you say it like that, it sounds crazy.

: 1011

00:46:42,265 --> 00:46:44,865

you can put this week's sponsor,

Cheap Beer, in the category

: 1012

00:46:44,865 --> 00:46:46,725

of get off my gravel driveway.

: 1013

00:46:47,225 --> 00:46:49,175

this episode is sponsored by Cheap Beer.

: 1014

00:46:49,252 --> 00:46:52,532

no matter how hard a hipster works

to make that forty percent head

: 1015

00:46:52,532 --> 00:46:56,792

eighteen dollar pitcher of PBR seem

refreshing, a redneck knows that it is

: 1016

00:46:56,792 --> 00:47:00,662

actually just forty-nine cents worth

of liquefied white bread shavings

: 1017

00:47:00,662 --> 00:47:00,992

from the Piggly

: 1018

00:47:00,992 --> 00:47:02,532

Wiggly bakery dumpster.

: 1019

00:47:02,988 --> 00:47:05,968

And the frat boys who suffered a

religious epiphany when they learned

: 1020

00:47:05,968 --> 00:47:09,578

how to calculate the alcohol content

of Milwaukee's Best Ice would lower

: 1021

00:47:09,578 --> 00:47:13,558

their voices about it if they met the

rednecks for whom that shit is water.

: 1022

00:47:14,058 --> 00:47:17,538

And there's a kind of reverse beer

snob whose tolerance is too high

: 1023

00:47:17,558 --> 00:47:21,418

for such pedestrian imbibements

that they can only feel anything

: 1024

00:47:21,818 --> 00:47:23,258

when they go to the malt liquor.

: 1025

00:47:23,728 --> 00:47:26,198

That illusion is shattered when

they offer you a Mickey's, though.

: 1026

00:47:26,698 --> 00:47:26,928

Don't

: 1027

00:47:27,003 --> 00:47:27,273

Beck: Eh.

: 1028

00:47:27,358 --> 00:47:29,958

Dash: about high tolerances until

you're drinking steel reserved

: 1029

00:47:29,988 --> 00:47:31,398

tall boys on the way to work.

: 1030

00:47:31,898 --> 00:47:34,738

But it don't matter that no amount

of loopy scarves and artistically

: 1031

00:47:34,738 --> 00:47:37,388

tattered flannels can make

these spirits taste any better.

: 1032

00:47:37,618 --> 00:47:40,748

Pabst, Busch, and the Miller Brewing

Companies are happy to charge us

: 1033

00:47:40,758 --> 00:47:44,338

all eight dollars a tall boy at the

corner store for it from now on.

: 1034

00:47:44,643 --> 00:47:48,373

And Lord, don't let them find out

about Mad Dog: 2020

: 1035

00:47:48,373 --> 00:47:51,523

of Appalachians will have to raw dog

their seedier years with just Boone's

: 1036

00:47:51,523 --> 00:47:53,373

Farm strawberry wine for comfort.

: 1037

00:47:53,873 --> 00:47:55,883

This week's sponsor, Cheap Beer

: 1038

00:47:56,383 --> 00:48:00,303

Beck: One time, m- one, one of my

favorite memories of my sister, who I

: 1039

00:48:00,303 --> 00:48:04,333

don't have a lot of favorite memories

with they sh- her and my mom and dad

: 1040

00:48:04,343 --> 00:48:08,113

showed up at Miami's campus to pick me

up to take me home for Christmas break.

: 1041

00:48:08,543 --> 00:48:11,883

They came up to do some shopping and

came up to pick me up, and when they

: 1042

00:48:11,883 --> 00:48:16,973

showed up, my sister had two bottles of

Strawberry Farm in the backseat, and she

: 1043

00:48:16,973 --> 00:48:20,973

challenged me to a chug-off, and we both

drank them as fast as we could, the whole

: 1044

00:48:20,973 --> 00:48:25,343

bottle, and we got shit-faced in the

backseat, and my mom and dad drove us home

: 1045

00:48:25,353 --> 00:48:27,353

giggling like schoolgirls the whole way.

: 1046

00:48:28,092 --> 00:48:29,252

I don't even think I was 21.

: 1047

00:48:29,292 --> 00:48:30,892

I was not 21 that point.

: 1048

00:48:31,222 --> 00:48:33,502

I was, like, 18 or 19 when that happened

: 1049

00:48:34,002 --> 00:48:34,192

Dash: Ugh.

: 1050

00:48:34,692 --> 00:48:40,692

By the time I, like, just quit drinking

alcohol entirely, I would get heartburn

: 1051

00:48:40,692 --> 00:48:42,772

so bad from it and indigestion.

: 1052

00:48:42,802 --> 00:48:48,392

Like, it was not pleasant anymore, and

I was tired of continually looking for

: 1053

00:48:48,392 --> 00:48:50,162

something that was pleasant to drink.

: 1054

00:48:50,402 --> 00:48:53,062

And finally I just realized,

like, "Why am I doing that?

: 1055

00:48:53,072 --> 00:48:53,482

That's…

: 1056

00:48:53,652 --> 00:48:55,172

Clearly I don't enjoy this anymore."

: 1057

00:48:55,672 --> 00:48:57,052

Beck: I have not missed alcohol at all.

: 1058

00:48:57,052 --> 00:49:01,462

I do miss the social lubricant that

it is, 'cause you can just go out

: 1059

00:49:01,462 --> 00:49:04,062

for a drink and it's a way to make

friends and all that kind of stuff,

: 1060

00:49:04,082 --> 00:49:05,962

but it's just not worth it to me

: 1061

00:49:06,462 --> 00:49:09,362

Dash: Well then it's,

just yet another expense.

: 1062

00:49:09,642 --> 00:49:14,312

It, it would be just one more thing

that I would need to plan an entire

: 1063

00:49:14,312 --> 00:49:18,682

day around to do here, because

there's no public transportation.

: 1064

00:49:19,142 --> 00:49:23,612

It-- And there's not a liquor store

here like in the town I live in.

: 1065

00:49:24,102 --> 00:49:27,912

So it, like there, there's no

way to do-- There's not even

: 1066

00:49:27,912 --> 00:49:29,302

a social way to do it here

: 1067

00:49:29,802 --> 00:49:30,072

Beck: Yeah.

: 1068

00:49:30,572 --> 00:49:33,452

I couldn't, it's been probably

10 years since I drank a beer

: 1069

00:49:33,952 --> 00:49:34,402

Dash: Same

: 1070

00:49:34,902 --> 00:49:37,972

Beck: I was always doing, when I

was drinking to get drunk, I would

: 1071

00:49:37,972 --> 00:49:41,762

drink shots of Jäger 'cause I could

swallow it and just be done with it

: 1072

00:49:42,026 --> 00:49:46,076

Dash: a t- this time I drank a Tony

Jaeger because I happened to have it,

: 1073

00:49:46,350 --> 00:49:51,600

because it, it was David's that my

cousin had, Either he had bought it

: 1074

00:49:51,600 --> 00:49:54,360

for David and they were gonna drink it

together, or David bought it for him

: 1075

00:49:54,420 --> 00:49:55,620

and they were gonna drink it together.

: 1076

00:49:55,650 --> 00:49:58,780

And so when he, when David came back

from Iraq, and he just never did.

: 1077

00:49:59,280 --> 00:50:04,501

And so my cousin gave it to me at

the, I think, or around that time.

: 1078

00:50:05,001 --> 00:50:12,451

And it was a, one of the gigantic Jaeger

things, not, even bigger than a fifth.

: 1079

00:50:12,481 --> 00:50:14,801

You know, like the, I

don't know how big they go.

: 1080

00:50:15,527 --> 00:50:22,247

But I, I just didn't want it, so I

took it to a house party with, like,

: 1081

00:50:22,247 --> 00:50:25,817

someone I used to date and some people

I barely knew, and just started handing

: 1082

00:50:25,817 --> 00:50:28,727

out shots of Jaeger Meister to the…

: 1083

00:50:28,737 --> 00:50:32,147

They must have thought I was, like,

the queer Jaeger fairy 'cause I just

: 1084

00:50:32,147 --> 00:50:35,957

showed up to this party and started

handing out shots to everybody.

: 1085

00:50:36,287 --> 00:50:39,947

But I would, like, I would

take one with somebody every

: 1086

00:50:39,947 --> 00:50:42,677

so often, they go down so easy.

: 1087

00:50:42,757 --> 00:50:46,857

I wasn't paying attention, and I, I

went to, like, leave, and I s- this

: 1088

00:50:46,867 --> 00:50:50,177

is, I still drove the the Metro at

the time, and I got in the car and I

: 1089

00:50:50,177 --> 00:50:52,167

was like, "Oh my God, I'm shit-faced.

: 1090

00:50:52,667 --> 00:50:56,207

I better get out of this car before some

cop sees me and gives me a sobriety test."

: 1091

00:50:56,360 --> 00:50:56,840

Beck: Right

: 1092

00:50:57,340 --> 00:50:59,700

Dash: And it don't taste good,

but it goes down fairly easy

: 1093

00:51:00,200 --> 00:51:01,320

Beck: Yeah, exactly

: 1094

00:51:01,820 --> 00:51:04,750

Dash: I do miss bourbon a little

bit though, just because I

: 1095

00:51:04,750 --> 00:51:06,160

actually did like the flavor of it

: 1096

00:51:06,660 --> 00:51:06,880

Beck: Yeah.

: 1097

00:51:06,880 --> 00:51:08,310

No, I never found one I liked.

: 1098

00:51:08,620 --> 00:51:11,773

The best I could tolerate was

Zima back in the '90s, and

: 1099

00:51:11,773 --> 00:51:13,923

that tasted like liquid candy

: 1100

00:51:14,423 --> 00:51:19,612

Dash: Oh, the hard seltzers, those

are, those are kind of a, a minefield

: 1101

00:51:19,612 --> 00:51:21,022

for people that don't drink.

: 1102

00:51:21,522 --> 00:51:27,112

I was at, I was like at a work event

f- at EKU, and this waiter came up

: 1103

00:51:27,112 --> 00:51:29,432

and he like asked me what I wanted

to drink, and I was, I was asking

: 1104

00:51:29,432 --> 00:51:31,212

him if he had any seltzer water.

: 1105

00:51:31,712 --> 00:51:34,662

And he starts naming things off,

and I hadn't heard of any of them.

: 1106

00:51:34,762 --> 00:51:38,372

And I was just like, know, like,

like just LaCroix or something?"

: 1107

00:51:38,872 --> 00:51:42,412

And he like starts naming them, and

I just said, "Yeah, yeah, whatever."

: 1108

00:51:42,912 --> 00:51:46,832

this like other, this counselor

who overheard it came up and he

: 1109

00:51:46,832 --> 00:51:49,332

goes, " Did you just order alcohol?"

: 1110

00:51:49,392 --> 00:51:51,371

I was like, "Did I?"

: 1111

00:51:51,726 --> 00:51:54,503

He said, " Yeah, you, you

just ordered a High Noon.

: 1112

00:51:54,513 --> 00:51:56,103

That's a brand of hard seltzer."

: 1113

00:51:56,123 --> 00:51:58,803

And I was like, "Motherfucker,

go get that fucking…"

: 1114

00:52:00,676 --> 00:52:03,136

Like, I specifically said, "Like LaCroix."

: 1115

00:52:03,636 --> 00:52:04,976

Beck: Maybe they didn't know what that was

: 1116

00:52:05,476 --> 00:52:06,196

Dash: That's fair.

: 1117

00:52:06,696 --> 00:52:08,266

Speaking of hipsters, right?

: 1118

00:52:08,276 --> 00:52:09,436

I mean, that's

: 1119

00:52:09,523 --> 00:52:09,933

Beck: Right

: 1120

00:52:10,086 --> 00:52:13,026

Dash: me You got a noun of

Appalachian interest for us?

: 1121

00:52:13,526 --> 00:52:14,346

Beck: I do.

: 1122

00:52:14,616 --> 00:52:15,226

I do.

: 1123

00:52:15,236 --> 00:52:16,426

Let me pull them up here.

: 1124

00:52:16,926 --> 00:52:17,896

Dash: Why does the internet get

: 1125

00:52:17,896 --> 00:52:19,466

suspiciously better when Shana leaves?

: 1126

00:52:19,966 --> 00:52:20,746

Beck: I don't know.

: 1127

00:52:25,996 --> 00:52:29,216

Today's noun of Appalachian

interest is the humble moon pie.

: 1128

00:52:29,496 --> 00:52:32,276

A little graham cracker, a

little marshmallow, a chocolate

: 1129

00:52:32,276 --> 00:52:35,116

coating, and suddenly the gas

station stop has a purpose.

: 1130

00:52:35,616 --> 00:52:39,836

The moon pie got its start at

anooga Bakery in Tennessee in: 1917

: 1131

00:52:40,166 --> 00:52:44,044

According to the company's origin story,

a traveling salesman asked a Kentucky

: 1132

00:52:44,044 --> 00:52:45,854

coal miner what kind of snack he wanted.

: 1133

00:52:46,104 --> 00:52:49,584

The answer was something filling, and

when the question of size came up, the

: 1134

00:52:49,584 --> 00:52:53,474

miner wanted it as big as the moon, which

is a reasonable request for somebody

: 1135

00:52:53,474 --> 00:52:54,844

who had been working underground.

: 1136

00:52:55,184 --> 00:52:57,994

If you ask a hungry person what

size snack they want, you need to

: 1137

00:52:58,014 --> 00:52:59,824

be prepared for an ambitious answer.

: 1138

00:53:00,324 --> 00:53:03,474

That story gives Moon Pie its

Appalachian connection, coal miners

: 1139

00:53:03,474 --> 00:53:06,164

looking for something affordable

to get them through a hard day.

: 1140

00:53:06,494 --> 00:53:09,334

It originally sold for a nickel

and became a familiar partner

: 1141

00:53:09,434 --> 00:53:11,294

to RC Cola across the South.

: 1142

00:53:11,734 --> 00:53:15,174

And there's something comforting about

a snack with such modest expectations.

: 1143

00:53:15,674 --> 00:53:18,384

A Moon Pie has never asked

me to become my best self.

: 1144

00:53:18,624 --> 00:53:21,534

It has asked me to open the wrapper

and accept some crumbs are going

: 1145

00:53:21,534 --> 00:53:23,334

down my shirt, but that's about it.

: 1146

00:53:23,734 --> 00:53:27,284

Over time, the family expanded to

include double deckers and flavors

: 1147

00:53:27,284 --> 00:53:30,424

like banana and vanilla because

apparently somebody looked at the

: 1148

00:53:30,424 --> 00:53:33,564

original and said, "This is good, but

we could fit more marshmallow in here."

: 1149

00:53:33,804 --> 00:53:35,804

And that person understood the assignment.

: 1150

00:53:36,314 --> 00:53:38,914

For a little packaged snack,

it carries a lot of history.

: 1151

00:53:38,944 --> 00:53:41,814

There's working life in that story,

along with the pleasure of having

: 1152

00:53:41,814 --> 00:53:43,324

something sweet you can afford.

: 1153

00:53:43,644 --> 00:53:45,524

So today, we salute the Moon Pie.

: 1154

00:53:45,754 --> 00:53:48,524

More than a century after its

debut, we're still talking about

: 1155

00:53:48,524 --> 00:53:49,994

a coal miner's snack request.

: 1156

00:53:50,214 --> 00:53:52,984

Most customer feedback does

not age that successfully

: 1157

00:53:53,484 --> 00:53:55,404

Dash: Yeah, what an icon that guy was.

: 1158

00:53:55,904 --> 00:53:56,904

Beck: Yeah, right

: 1159

00:53:57,404 --> 00:53:59,694

Dash: Oh, God, I loved

Moon Pies growing up.

: 1160

00:54:00,084 --> 00:54:04,664

They were like the treat to get

in, like packed in your lunch.

: 1161

00:54:04,764 --> 00:54:04,964

Beck: Yehaw

: 1162

00:54:04,999 --> 00:54:08,269

Dash: they, you know, they could

get them, get a box of them for

: 1163

00:54:08,269 --> 00:54:09,889

pretty cheap at the grocery store

: 1164

00:54:10,389 --> 00:54:10,849

Beck: Yeah.

: 1165

00:54:11,349 --> 00:54:11,739

Dash: And they were

: 1166

00:54:11,794 --> 00:54:13,004

Beck: Yeah, I was a big fan of him too.

: 1167

00:54:13,504 --> 00:54:13,654

Dash: They're

: 1168

00:54:13,654 --> 00:54:14,404

smaller now

: 1169

00:54:14,904 --> 00:54:15,444

Beck: yeah.

: 1170

00:54:15,494 --> 00:54:19,224

unfortunately, the incredible

shrinking box phenomenon

: 1171

00:54:19,724 --> 00:54:19,904

Dash: Yehaw

: 1172

00:54:20,404 --> 00:54:23,664

Beck: That was one of those things in

college that hit me that never left me.

: 1173

00:54:23,964 --> 00:54:29,154

In a, in a, in a class that I took we

had to write a paper about the cereal

: 1174

00:54:29,154 --> 00:54:32,964

aisle, and like anything we wanted

about the cereal aisle, but it had

: 1175

00:54:32,964 --> 00:54:34,674

to be related to marketing, right?

: 1176

00:54:34,994 --> 00:54:37,874

And that was one of the

wildest papers I ever wrote.

: 1177

00:54:37,914 --> 00:54:41,744

I learned so much about that paper,

'cause I was so hardcore about my grades.

: 1178

00:54:42,074 --> 00:54:44,594

Like every time I went to the

grocery store, he told us about it

: 1179

00:54:44,594 --> 00:54:47,164

like the first week, and the paper

was due at the end of the semester.

: 1180

00:54:47,484 --> 00:54:50,444

So every time I went to Kroger, I

would like wander the, the cereal

: 1181

00:54:50,444 --> 00:54:52,804

aisle looking for what I wanted

to write my paper on, you know?

: 1182

00:54:53,154 --> 00:54:56,884

And the, the incredible shrinking box

was one of the things that I found when

: 1183

00:54:56,884 --> 00:54:58,714

I was writing that, and it blew me away.

: 1184

00:54:59,014 --> 00:55:02,864

Just the idea that, you know, you're,

first you get a 12-ounce box for $3,

: 1185

00:55:03,114 --> 00:55:06,414

and then you get a nine-ounce box for

$3, and the, and the price stays the

: 1186

00:55:06,414 --> 00:55:08,294

same, but the box shrinks, you know?

: 1187

00:55:08,674 --> 00:55:11,154

And that is something we've

all seen definitely happening

: 1188

00:55:11,164 --> 00:55:12,424

even more here lately.

: 1189

00:55:12,684 --> 00:55:14,954

It's because diesel is $6 a gallon.

: 1190

00:55:15,004 --> 00:55:17,014

That's one of the reasons

everything is so high.

: 1191

00:55:17,514 --> 00:55:18,874

I'm mad about gas prices.

: 1192

00:55:19,214 --> 00:55:20,184

How much are they there?

: 1193

00:55:20,684 --> 00:55:28,874

Dash: Uh, diesel is over $6 here, but

unleaded, like just 87 unleaded is $4.27

: 1194

00:55:28,874 --> 00:55:30,324

something a gallon like that

: 1195

00:55:30,824 --> 00:55:32,304

Beck: It was, it was $4.56

: 1196

00:55:32,304 --> 00:55:34,264

at the Kroger by my house today

: 1197

00:55:34,764 --> 00:55:40,504

Dash: I was for some reason on the,

like, the, the dashboards, like

: 1198

00:55:40,504 --> 00:55:43,344

the s- US Censa data dashboards.

: 1199

00:55:43,684 --> 00:55:48,074

It's not the U- the, not the federal

we- website anymore, but there are

: 1200

00:55:48,454 --> 00:55:52,604

other organizations that, like,

clean that data and parse it.

: 1201

00:55:53,104 --> 00:55:54,344

And it was…

: 1202

00:55:54,394 --> 00:55:56,194

I was up poverty.

: 1203

00:55:56,224 --> 00:56:00,184

Like, I went down a rabbit hole

basically looking up, like, how it's

: 1204

00:56:00,184 --> 00:56:04,404

calculated, who decides what level,

where the demarcation is between

: 1205

00:56:04,664 --> 00:56:07,084

poverty and not poverty, which…

: 1206

00:56:07,114 --> 00:56:10,561

And that was a depressing answer,

because it's one formula that was

: 1207

00:56:10,561 --> 00:56:16,205

created a specific project by a

woman who specifically said, "This

: 1208

00:56:16,215 --> 00:56:17,915

is not for any kind of forecasting.

: 1209

00:56:17,915 --> 00:56:19,985

This is not to be used for

any kind of benchmarking.

: 1210

00:56:20,175 --> 00:56:22,755

This is for this particular

project," in: 1963

: 1211

00:56:23,255 --> 00:56:24,455

That was the last time,

: 1212

00:56:24,600 --> 00:56:25,070

Beck: Oh wow

: 1213

00:56:25,570 --> 00:56:25,940

Dash: Any…

: 1214

00:56:25,970 --> 00:56:29,990

That was, that, the, the pro- the formula

is just the same as it always has been.

: 1215

00:56:30,490 --> 00:56:34,950

It, there are, there is a secondary

kind of, uh, measure that is supposed to

: 1216

00:56:35,340 --> 00:56:42,490

calibrate for inflation, but it doesn't

work, I forget what its abbreviation is.

: 1217

00:56:42,530 --> 00:56:48,090

But it doesn't work though, because

the original f- in: 1963

: 1218

00:56:48,110 --> 00:56:54,110

of a family, of a household's income

went to food, because housing was

: 1219

00:56:54,110 --> 00:56:58,650

affordable, cars were affordable,

gas was affordable in: 1963

: 1220

00:56:59,020 --> 00:57:03,550

So the assumption was that the, the

m- the majority of any household's

: 1221

00:57:03,550 --> 00:57:06,977

income that went to or was food.

: 1222

00:57:07,437 --> 00:57:08,447

It's not the case anymore.

: 1223

00:57:08,447 --> 00:57:11,607

it's easier to get affordable food.

: 1224

00:57:11,607 --> 00:57:15,787

It's, it's, there's more wiggle

room in how people can, can source

: 1225

00:57:15,787 --> 00:57:17,017

their food and stuff like that.

: 1226

00:57:17,447 --> 00:57:22,367

But housing is two-thirds of

a household's expenses now.

: 1227

00:57:22,867 --> 00:57:23,237

Beck: Yeah

: 1228

00:57:23,386 --> 00:57:28,916

Dash: So an- any time inflation hits

hits a specific part of the, the

: 1229

00:57:28,916 --> 00:57:32,686

market, say something, say for instance

what has happened to gas, well, the

: 1230

00:57:32,716 --> 00:57:40,016

original formula for poverty deal

with the explosion, the, the sort of

: 1231

00:57:40,026 --> 00:57:45,286

meteoric increase in the price of gas

and the price of housing So this is

: 1232

00:57:45,286 --> 00:57:51,526

why we've got, uh, poverty in America

is lower allegedly now than it was 10

: 1233

00:57:51,526 --> 00:57:56,466

years ago, but it's because we're not

actually quantifying whether people can

: 1234

00:57:56,466 --> 00:57:58,376

feed themselves or keep their housing.

: 1235

00:57:58,436 --> 00:58:00,436

We're lying about what poverty means

: 1236

00:58:00,936 --> 00:58:03,536

Beck: Yeah, Shana and I are doing

okay right now, and we still live

: 1237

00:58:03,546 --> 00:58:05,076

paycheck to paycheck, you know?

: 1238

00:58:05,576 --> 00:58:05,726

Dash: Yep.

: 1239

00:58:06,226 --> 00:58:06,696

Same.

: 1240

00:58:06,896 --> 00:58:09,136

Although I just now started

getting paychecks again, so

: 1241

00:58:09,636 --> 00:58:12,376

Beck: Did you ever get your,

the other one worked out?

: 1242

00:58:12,876 --> 00:58:13,516

Dash: Get it cashed

: 1243

00:58:14,016 --> 00:58:14,196

Beck: Yehaw

: 1244

00:58:14,696 --> 00:58:14,946

Dash: Nope.

: 1245

00:58:15,446 --> 00:58:16,456

It's still sitting here.

: 1246

00:58:16,956 --> 00:58:19,866

I've gotta open a bank to cash

it, and I don't want to do

: 1247

00:58:19,866 --> 00:58:21,276

that because there's not a bank

: 1248

00:58:21,343 --> 00:58:21,713

Beck: Yeah.

: 1249

00:58:21,796 --> 00:58:25,066

Dash: so it has to be a bank where

I work, which is two hours away.

: 1250

00:58:25,266 --> 00:58:27,231

It's stupid

: 1251

00:58:27,731 --> 00:58:28,161

Beck: Yeah.

: 1252

00:58:28,661 --> 00:58:29,321

Well, that sucks.

: 1253

00:58:29,321 --> 00:58:30,071

I'm sorry, friend

: 1254

00:58:30,571 --> 00:58:31,271

Dash: I could figure it out.

: 1255

00:58:31,771 --> 00:58:35,124

Maybe let's spin the wheel of

what have you and see if it

: 1256

00:58:35,124 --> 00:58:36,244

gives us something we wanna do.

: 1257

00:58:36,244 --> 00:58:38,314

If it gives us something we don't

wanna do, we don't have to do it.

: 1258

00:58:38,814 --> 00:58:39,674

What do we got?

: 1259

00:58:39,724 --> 00:58:40,254

Okay, so

: 1260

00:58:40,423 --> 00:58:41,733

Beck: Being a grown-ass adult

: 1261

00:58:42,491 --> 00:58:45,931

Dash: we got joke thief is one

of my favorite ones, but it's

: 1262

00:58:45,941 --> 00:58:47,631

also a little bit of extra work.

: 1263

00:58:48,131 --> 00:58:48,701

Beck: Right

: 1264

00:58:49,201 --> 00:58:51,151

Dash: So stay tuned.

: 1265

00:58:51,181 --> 00:58:53,781

Come back next week to see if

we did our homework or not.

: 1266

00:58:54,011 --> 00:58:55,481

We'll decide off air.

: 1267

00:58:58,341 --> 00:58:58,911

How about this?

: 1268

00:58:58,921 --> 00:59:00,401

Okay, we'll do something.

: 1269

00:59:00,511 --> 00:59:03,771

It, but it, and if nothing else, right?

: 1270

00:59:03,771 --> 00:59:06,121

We'll get a stupid joke book

and read things out of it.

: 1271

00:59:06,151 --> 00:59:06,601

I don't know.

: 1272

00:59:07,121 --> 00:59:08,121

A version of it that we

: 1273

00:59:08,148 --> 00:59:09,468

Beck: We could do you might be a redneck

: 1274

00:59:09,968 --> 00:59:13,748

Dash: We could I wonder if

there's a queer version of that

: 1275

00:59:14,248 --> 00:59:15,028

Beck: Well, there has to be

: 1276

00:59:15,528 --> 00:59:15,848

Dash: Yehaw.

: 1277

00:59:16,348 --> 00:59:18,778

Beck: We're not the only queers from

Appalachia that thought of such a thing

: 1278

00:59:19,278 --> 00:59:19,618

Dash: No.

: 1279

00:59:20,118 --> 00:59:25,498

Yeah, joke safe and, and mean a lot

of things, so Oh, uh, on that note, I,

: 1280

00:59:25,498 --> 00:59:31,168

I don't physically have time any- uh,

right now this semester get with…

: 1281

00:59:31,308 --> 00:59:34,768

So, like, with our ed- when we're

able to record and how long it takes

: 1282

00:59:34,768 --> 00:59:39,048

me to edit, we're g- we're gonna have

to switch from our release date from

: 1283

00:59:39,048 --> 00:59:43,348

Mondays to sometime later in the week

maybe, maybe Tuesday or Wednesday.

: 1284

00:59:43,808 --> 00:59:46,998

So, hopefully that doesn't

ruin anybody's week.

: 1285

00:59:47,498 --> 00:59:48,108

We'll…

: 1286

00:59:48,408 --> 00:59:50,558

I mean, if y- if you love

it, we'll leave it that way.

: 1287

00:59:50,558 --> 00:59:54,498

But if, if, uh, you know, the idea

would be to go back to Mondays so

: 1288

00:59:54,498 --> 00:59:56,248

you can start your week with us.

: 1289

00:59:56,538 --> 00:59:57,138

But I just…

: 1290

00:59:57,198 --> 01:00:00,438

There's literally not enough

hours right now for me to do it

: 1291

01:00:01,251 --> 01:00:01,951

Beck: Yeah, I hear you

: 1292

01:00:02,451 --> 01:00:07,401

Dash: So we'll see you all on

Wednesdays maybe, question mark,

: 1293

01:00:07,901 --> 01:00:09,451

for the rest of this semester anyway

: 1294

01:00:09,951 --> 01:00:10,331

Beck: Yep.

: 1295

01:00:10,611 --> 01:00:11,141

Sounds good to me

: 1296

01:00:11,641 --> 01:00:12,121

Dash: Oh, man.

: 1297

01:00:12,121 --> 01:00:12,541

All right.

: 1298

01:00:12,541 --> 01:00:14,981

Well, let's get out of here.

: 1299

01:00:15,081 --> 01:00:17,151

Let me go drop off this birthday present

: 1300

01:00:17,651 --> 01:00:18,291

Beck: All right, friend

: 1301

01:00:18,798 --> 01:00:21,128

Dash: Hope your kitty cat comes

out from the washing machine

: 1302

01:00:21,625 --> 01:00:22,695

Beck: Oh, he will.

: 1303

01:00:22,725 --> 01:00:23,085

He will.

: 1304

01:00:23,085 --> 01:00:25,575

He's come out, and a couple

times he's stood his ground and

: 1305

01:00:25,585 --> 01:00:27,125

hissed at Rue and Rue ran away.

: 1306

01:00:27,465 --> 01:00:29,705

So it's just, they just

gotta get to know each other.

: 1307

01:00:29,735 --> 01:00:30,965

It's just gonna take a few days.

: 1308

01:00:31,285 --> 01:00:32,045

It'll be fine

: 1309

01:00:32,545 --> 01:00:32,755

Dash: Yeah.

: 1310

01:00:32,755 --> 01:00:33,825

Yeah, it'll go pretty quick.

: 1311

01:00:34,075 --> 01:00:36,127

Beck: We've already made

a lot of progress, so

: 1312

01:00:36,627 --> 01:00:37,427

Dash: How long have you had him?

: 1313

01:00:37,927 --> 01:00:39,337

Beck: We got him on Wednesday evening

: 1314

01:00:39,837 --> 01:00:40,527

Dash: Oh, yeah.

: 1315

01:00:40,797 --> 01:00:41,267

That's pretty good

: 1316

01:00:41,767 --> 01:00:42,107

Beck: Yeah.

: 1317

01:00:42,127 --> 01:00:44,427

So in three days we made

pretty good progress.

: 1318

01:00:44,927 --> 01:00:45,277

So

: 1319

01:00:45,876 --> 01:00:50,066

Dash: Well, welcome Gus

Gus and or what was it?

: 1320

01:00:50,367 --> 01:00:52,347

Beck: Miles is, Miles or Jimmy.

: 1321

01:00:52,407 --> 01:00:52,927

I don't know.

: 1322

01:00:53,297 --> 01:00:53,797

We'll see

: 1323

01:00:54,268 --> 01:00:55,078

Dash: Maybe all of them.

: 1324

01:00:55,578 --> 01:00:55,868

Beck: Yeah.

: 1325

01:00:56,138 --> 01:00:56,468

Mr.

: 1326

01:00:56,468 --> 01:00:58,668

Mister is w- another one, so I don't know.

: 1327

01:00:58,688 --> 01:00:59,198

We'll see.

: 1328

01:00:59,408 --> 01:01:01,398

We go through a lot of names

till we find the right one

: 1329

01:01:01,898 --> 01:01:02,098

Dash: Mm-hmm.

: 1330

01:01:02,598 --> 01:01:05,768

Beck: Though I would like to point out

Shana suggested Pete and we already have

: 1331

01:01:05,768 --> 01:01:08,668

a Pete, so I'm not the crazy one here

: 1332

01:01:09,115 --> 01:01:09,275

Dash: Mm.

: 1333

01:01:09,775 --> 01:01:10,175

It's true.

: 1334

01:01:10,675 --> 01:01:13,245

That is not supporting her case.

: 1335

01:01:13,745 --> 01:01:16,635

All right, well, everybody

have a good week.

: 1336

01:01:17,339 --> 01:01:21,109

Stay um, out of trouble,

and we'll see you next time.

: 1337

01:01:21,329 --> 01:01:22,099

Say howdy to Mom and them

: 1338

01:01:22,599 --> 01:01:23,189

Beck: Bye