Tiffany the Tarantula

Beck: 00:00:05

Welcome to Queernecks, the podcast that puts the yehaw in y'all means all.

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I'm your host, Beck,

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Dash: and I'm your host.

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Dash.

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Welcome to today's episode.

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What do you think it would've been like

growing up with gay parents as you are?

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Beck: Trying to imagine

either of my parents as a gay

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person is just mind-blowing.

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I can't even fathom that.

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So I can't imagine what

it would've been like.

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The gender roles were real in my family

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Dash: Yeah And it, it's hard to ans-

it's hard to even try to think about

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a question like that without…

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You have to, because what you have to work

with is the parents that you grew up with.

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And so then you're like, "No."

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Beck: Yeah.

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There were rumors that my biological

father dabbled in the gay arts but

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Dash: Queer arts.

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Beck: Yes.

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But, uh, I don't know anything confirmed.

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Mom said that she found out

he was going to the Stonewall,

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which was my first gay bar.

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And then that's when she decided that she

was done and she was gonna divorce him.

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Dash: Oh

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Beck: But that's all I know, is

that he was going to the gay bar.

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I don't know…

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I never wanted to ask

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Dash: yeah, which it could have been

true, but it also, going to a gay bar

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doesn't make a person gay necessarily.

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But also I think sometimes when

people are already checked out

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of a relationship, they're just

looking for that one little thing

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Beck: Yeah, well my dad

was a serial cheater

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too, so.

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Dash: Which that's funny because

that wasn't enough for her.

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It had to be that he was gay.

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Beck: Yeah.

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Like, 'cause that's what the way

that it was done in the '60s,

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Dash: people, oh my God, they are not okay

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Beck: Yeah, domestic violence was

a thing that was just kept under

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the rug 'cause my dad was a very

violent man on top of that, you know?

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And my mom stayed with him for 17

years, and, uh, apparently he got

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a lot better in his last years.

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His wife told me that he hadn't hit her

in probably a decade when he passed.

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So he had, I guess, found

Jesus or however that works

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Dash: Right.

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I remember there was a f- a family

that we, the family that had the

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farm that we spent a lot of time on.

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They were…

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Oh, man, it was a fight every…

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Well, every time we were

there, it was a fight.

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And he was brutal.

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They weren't even a- they weren't

even trying to h- he wasn't even

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trying to hide it from the kids.

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And so she was just like, "First of

all, you're gonna kill me one day."

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Like, he knocked out her teeth.

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She was so small.

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He was, like, 6'5", and he did

drywall for a living, so he was

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just built like a brick shit house

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Beck: Yeah, my dad was a

construction guy himself,

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ironwork

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Dash: the danger that he was

gonna literally kill her one day.

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Beck: my dad hid in the trunk one time

when my mom was trying to leave him with a

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shotgun and said he was gonna kill us all.

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Like, it was, my dad was

real, like a real crazy dude

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Dash: Yeah.

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This guy was too.

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And so after that, I didn't see

him anymore until David's funeral.

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And for some reason, he cornered me at

David's funeral and told me how he had got

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sober, and he didn't beat his new wife.

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And I was like, "What is this?

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Is it, it's part confession,

part excuse, and why here?

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Why now?

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Why me?

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Why do you care what I think of you?"

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Beck: Right?

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Dash: why.

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I don't know.

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Oh, this, uh…

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Brisket locked himself in the

bedroom and he's, like, howling.

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Hang on.

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Oh, it was Ziggy the window is open

and so it blew the door closed on her

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Beck: Hey, that's a good idea.

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Hang on, let me crack my window.

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Dash: Did you get your tickets?

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Beck: My tick- what tickets?

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Dash: To the gun show?

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Beck: Front row, baby

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Dash: I've always wanted to do that joke.

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Oh, man.

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And that's from The Office.

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Well, I don't think they invented

it, but that's what made me

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remember that joke was The Office.

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Did you ever watch that show?

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Beck: No, I tried.

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It just, I just didn't get the humor

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Dash: It, uh, I didn't

watch it either, Freely.

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Uh, but I, it was, it's always on some- it

was always on somewhere for a time there.

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And I have a friend who's, or two

friends who are obsessed with it.

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Like, they watch it over and over again.

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And I, anytime I see it I'll, like,

chuckle 'cause they'll have it

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on sometimes when I'm over there,

and I'll chuckle at it, and then

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they're like, "Well, if you find

it funny, why don't you like it?"

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And I was like, "That is a,

that's a valid question."

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It's because I don't care what happens.

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I don't care what happens to these people.

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I never watch a frame of it that makes me

go, "I wonder what's gonna happen next?"

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Like, this isn't for me

because nothing happens.

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And sim- similar to Seinfeld.

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I can't fucking stand Seinfeld

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Beck: Yeah, me too

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Dash: I much preferred like Parks and

Rec over Office, and people will often

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like juxtapose the two because Parks and

Rec is loaded with character and story

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and even commentary on institutions and

power dynamics and politics and stuff.

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But anyway, the person who makes

that joke in The Office is, uh,

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Rainn Wilson's character, Dwight.

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And, uh, recently, Rainn Wilson said

that h- you know, The Office wouldn't

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be able to be made in this current

climate of political correctness

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and every- and everybody's roasted

him for it, which is good, uh,

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because that's so fucking stupid.

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The Office was the most

nothing burger of a show.

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does he think they were doing like

edge lord humor on The Office?

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Beck: They just came out with, I

think it a- got canceled already.

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There was a show called The Paper that

was supposed to be the new Office,

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but it was set in Toledo, Ohio.

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There was a local newspaper.

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I watched an episode of it 'cause

it was set in Toledo, and it was bad

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Dash: The Paper, it does look like

they're really trying to be Office-like.

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Beck: Yehaw

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Dash: It's got Oscar Nunez in it,

who was, uh, was on The Office.

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Oh, it's a s- It's a spin-off.

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Okay So it is, it's part

of that whole universe.

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Beck: Right

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Dash: Well, it hasn't been "was-ed"

yet on the Wikipedia page, so

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maybe it hasn't been canceled yet

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Beck: Maybe.

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Nobody I know is watching it

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Dash: I mean, maybe they're just banking

on The Office folks to wanna see it.

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Beck: Yeah.

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Have you noticed how many

shows get set in Toledo?

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Dash: Uh, a lot of shows

get set in Ohio in general

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Beck: Yehaw

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Dash: because the, so they'll be

set in Ohio, Illinois, Indiana,

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and it's because that is the

Middle American sort of zeitgeist.

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There's jokes about it.

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So that one of my favorite jokes in

Futurama was about the television

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industry, and there's some robots that

are, uh, like giving input on whether a

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show will be successful, and one of them

goes, " But will it play in Peoria?"

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And that's, that's kinda

what they were talking about.

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Like Glee is set in Lima, Ohio

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Beck: Yeah, I know.

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That's up here too.

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Dash: But, the joke about that show was

that it was a stereotype of America.

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Like, even when we try to do

diversity in television, we're

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tokenizing, we're stereotyping.

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I'm not a Glee stan or even really a

Glee defender, but I do get irritated

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when people critique the show

because all of the characters are

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stereotypes, and it's like, correct.

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Yeah that's, that's the point.

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They're all stereotypes because it's kind

of a commentary on how we do television.

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Beck: I use it often in class to

talk about the social homophobia,

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like the idea of being gay but not

wanting to be caught, about how the

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football player beat up on the gay kid,

and how thou dost protest too much.

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We talk about that in class.

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Sometimes the people who are most

anti-gay are the queerest ones out there,

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Dash: Do you give them

the studies on it too?

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Beck: No, I didn't know there were studies

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Dash: Oh yeah there's literally proof.

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There is science about how homophobia,

extreme homophobia to the point that it

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becomes your personality, just being an

expression of self-loathing homosexuality

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Beck: We do talk, about the Kinsey scale

and how all of, we brought sex into

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the laboratory and things like that.

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and I always say, "So if you're

not gay, you still have some time."

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Dash: H- That's right.

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I saw, there's a TikTok video of a

mom talking to her little girl, and

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her little girl's like, "What's gay?"

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Uh, and she's, I would guess

maybe five, four or five.

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And the mom's like, "Oh okay.

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So it's when a boy loves another

boy and a girl loves another girl."

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And you know, she, she did great

I think, especially for the way

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a kid will just pop that on you.

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Beck: Right?

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Dash: And then the kid's

like, "Are you gay?"

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And she said, "I unfortunately am not gay.

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I'm married to your dad."

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Uh, and the g- little girl got

sad, and she goes, "Ah, that

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means I'm probably not gay."

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And her mom was like, "Well, you could be.

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We don't know."

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It was so funny,

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Beck: I think I saw that video.

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Now that I hear what you're, that,

that part of it, I believe I saw that

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Dash: so endearing to see her

go like, "How do I do this?

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Okay."

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Like, that's how you do it,

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you know?

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I

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mean, it's like a kid saying

like, "Well, I guess I'll

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never be a fighter jet pilot."

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It's like, well, not with that attitude

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Same goes for being gay.

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Beck: If you work hard and

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Dash: You'll be rewarded.

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Beck: become one of God's special

chosen children I always say, why

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would he have made us so cute and

adorable if he didn't like us, you know?

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Dash: Why is gay a synonym for happy?

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Beck: Exactly.

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I know why it's a synonym

for awkward 'cause of me.

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Dash: Um,

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You know how it says in the Bible

that you're not allowed to take

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more than one trip to bring in

all the groceries from the car?

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Beck: I am aware of that passage, yes.

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Dash: Uh, I believe it's

efficiencies 11, 12.

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Beck: First efficiencies

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Dash: I was thinking that is a

way to, uh, describe my particular

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brand of OCD because my whole…

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That applies to my entire life.

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Everything I do has to follow that

scripture, Every little thing, like the…

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I don't know.

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Uh, I don't wanna get

too in, in the weeds.

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However, it's becoming a challenge with,

as I get older and have to take more and

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more fucking medications because I have

to take them all in one, and it's a pile.

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It's a palmful of pills.

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And so every morning, this morning

I caught myself, I was like,

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and it, like I throw them in and

it's like a mouthful of pills.

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It's so…

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it's getting disturbing

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Beck: Do you ever swallow one, uh, or

swallow and there's one left behind?

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And then you have to s-

hurry and take a second drink

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Dash: Oh, yeah.

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Beck: Especially the tiny ones.

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They get stuck in there

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Dash: After I got sort of struck

by lightning my ear, the tissue

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in my ear was really damaged, I

had to take prednisone, I guess.

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It was steroids.

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And they were these, like, fast

dissolve and the most disgusting thing.

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I can still remember the

fucking taste of those pills.

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And I was young, you know, and so

not used to taking pills, and I

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remember it was such a struggle.

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Like, I would be, like,

gagging, couldn't get it down.

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My mom did the thing where she,

like, crushed it up, mixed it

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with water and sugar in a spoon,

and I tried to do it that way.

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That wasn't enough.

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That was brutal

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Beck: The worst medicine I ever had

to take I'm allergic to contrast

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dye, so if you get an MRI or whatever

with contrast dye I nearly die.

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That's how we learned I was

allergic to it, 'cause we did it.

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And so when you're

allergic to that, it's…

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When you have to have something

like that done, they give you an

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alternative, and the flavor they

had, I had- Apple yogurt Blegh.

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It was gross, but I got my test done, so

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Dash: Why would they choose those flavors?

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Beck: I don't know.

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That I don't know.

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But that's what I remember about it

is how disgusting apple yogurt was.

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It's a drink, uh, 'cause

it was in a bottle.

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It wasn't like yogurt,

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Dash: When mom was in the hospital I f-

for whatever reason, like they were…

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She couldn't eat and they, they

were having trouble getting,

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you know, calories in her.

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And so they were giving her those Boosts

or Ensure's or something, like a shake.

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And she, all she could talk about

was how disgusting they were.

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I was like, m- well, and I don't

doubt it, especially because she

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was like, "It's room temperature.

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Why would you give me this?

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It's like pretending to be some

sort of like milkshake and you

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give it to me room temperature.

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What are you doing?"

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Beck: Shana and I laughed till we

almost cried a little while ago.

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Like, literally tears were

coming out of our eyes.

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And it was so stupid.

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We were just talking we were talking

about how it would be funny to have

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a wiener dog and name it Peter, and

then have another one called Willy.

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And then I suggested the last name Long,

while she said it should be Johnson.

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So we were like, "All right,

so we got Peter Long Johnson

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and Willy Long Johnson, our

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Dash: I was just about to

say Long is the middle name.

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Beck: Yeah.

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It struck us so funny we cried.

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We were laughing so hard.

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That's why we're still good together,

because we can sit on the couch and laugh

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like that, you know, 23 years later, we're

still belly laughing over dick jokes.

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Dash: Which is just proof that

dick jokes are only funny to

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the person who makes them.

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I actually, I laughed until I cried.

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I was wheezing and coughing this

morning as well, but I live alone, so…

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Uh, but it was because

I was watching YouTube.

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There was a guy…

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It's like the, this genre of YouTube

video called Let's Play, where they

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are just playing games, kind of giving

commentary on the experience, and the

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screen shows us the game they're playing.

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And some of them are, like,

serious gamers and whatever.

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I don't care about those.

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And I don't even know who this

guy was, but he was pl- and,

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or what game he was playing.

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It was called The Professional, is

what it said in the description, and

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it's a burglar heist game where…

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And I don't know anything else about

the rest of the game because I only

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watched this, like, five-minute segment

of him trying to apparently manipulate

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every single joint on this person's

body to get through some lasers in

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a museum, you know, like, to steal

a, the Hope Diamond or something.

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And so literally he had to, like, position

fingers, hand, wrist, knees ankles, head

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with, like, click and drag, and then do

something that caused it to try to move.

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And it was just him, like, putting

this thing in ridiculous positions,

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trying to get it to, like, flop

over the, across the, the lasers,

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and he just couldn't do it.

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For five straight minutes, he

couldn't get this thing to move.

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And the way it was flopping, it

reminded me of that QWOPing game.

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Do you remember QWOPing?

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Beck: No, I don't remember that

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Dash: Uh, it's Q-W-O-P, and it's

called that because the two, the

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Q-W-O-P letters are on, you know, the

top outside of the keyboard, and you

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use those to try to control a running

pace for a little person on a track.

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: 00:15:44

And it was, like, each of their feet,

their legs or, and hands and stuff

314

: 00:15:49

like that and nobody could do it.

315

: 00:15:51

It w- it took…

316

: 00:15:52

I would say the internet, this

was probably 15 years ago.

317

: 00:15:54

Let me Google this.

318

: 00:15:55

Let me see if we can still play QWOP.

319

: 00:15:58

2008 ragdoll-based browser video game.

320

: 00:16:01

So there's a name for this.

321

: 00:16:03

Okay, there's a website.

322

: 00:16:06

I'm just gonna give myself a vir-

Oh my God, I'm playing it right now.

323

: 00:16:11

Okay.

324

: 00:16:11

I wonder…

325

: 00:16:14

Oh, didn't we find out we can't

share screen in this fucking-

326

: 00:16:18

Beck: That's so dumb

327

: 00:16:19

Dash: I know.

328

: 00:16:19

I don't know about this

software, but whatever.

329

: 00:16:22

Anyway, we, so we landed on the wheel of

what-have-you told us we needed to bring

330

: 00:16:28

some YouTube things that made us laugh.

331

: 00:16:32

The YouTube landscape is vast.

332

: 00:16:35

I love the two to three-hour

deep dives on shit.

333

: 00:16:38

Like, the, I'll put one of those on

and sit and watch about something

334

: 00:16:42

and a lot of times it's something

that I don't give a shit about.

335

: 00:16:46

It's really interesting that I will

do that on YouTube and nowhere else.

336

: 00:16:50

I take the decision of what to watch very

seriously on every app except for YouTube,

337

: 00:16:54

where I'm like, "I don't give a fuck

338

: 00:16:55

Beck: Yeah.

339

: 00:16:56

I watch some crazy stuff on YouTube.

340

: 00:16:58

Like there's this one channel, there's

this one channel called Visual Venture.

341

: 00:17:02

He's trying to get to two and

a half million subscribers, so

342

: 00:17:04

maybe we'll help him do that.

343

: 00:17:05

But he has like the darkest channels

he does deep dives on different

344

: 00:17:10

inter- slices of internet history,

and I find it really interesting.

345

: 00:17:13

Dash: Cool

346

: 00:17:14

Beck: I watch a lot of That Chapter.

347

: 00:17:16

I don't know if you've

ever heard of That Chapter.

348

: 00:17:18

He's a guy who is either

Irish or Scottish.

349

: 00:17:21

I've never deciphered which he is.

350

: 00:17:23

But he does American crime stories,

351

: 00:17:26

Dash: Ah, yep.

352

: 00:17:27

I know who you're talking about.

353

: 00:17:28

Beck: yeah.

354

: 00:17:29

Dash: he has kind of a sense of humor too.

355

: 00:17:31

Beck: Yeah, his name's Mike

356

: 00:17:32

Dash: he's not a comedy channel,

but, like, he's not dry about it.

357

: 00:17:36

And I like…

358

: 00:17:36

The dry ones are fine.

359

: 00:17:37

Like, I watch Dreading

and Explore With Us.

360

: 00:17:41

The funny thing about, you know how

Netflix has really gotten into true crime

361

: 00:17:45

documentaries and shit lately because

they realize they go viral on TikTok?

362

: 00:17:50

They're just straight going

through those channels and pulling

363

: 00:17:54

from the cases that they cover.

364

: 00:17:56

So, like, I saw the case

of this Taylor woman that,

365

: 00:18:01

Beck: With a car crash?

366

: 00:18:02

Dash: No, that's K- Mackenzie Shirilla.

367

: 00:18:04

I saw her.

368

: 00:18:05

That, but her case is more recent.

369

: 00:18:06

But the woman m- in Maternal Instinct

is the name of the documentary

370

: 00:18:10

Beck: We watched that one too.

371

: 00:18:11

Yeah, I knew I knew the name.

372

: 00:18:12

We watched it too

373

: 00:18:13

Dash: Mm-hmm.

374

: 00:18:13

And so I saw her…

375

: 00:18:15

That happened in like 2021 and

I saw that on Explore With Us

376

: 00:18:19

back when I lived in Kentucky.

377

: 00:18:21

so I started like looking through their

true crime things, and it's all stuff

378

: 00:18:24

that they're just, that has already

been covered by the YouTubers And now

379

: 00:18:28

YouTube is going to the box office.

380

: 00:18:30

We've had at least two m- box

office releases from YouTubers

381

: 00:18:36

this year, just this year.

382

: 00:18:38

Beck: I didn't know that

383

: 00:18:39

Dash: Yeah, Markiplier released a,

He's a, he's another one who does

384

: 00:18:44

the, uh, let's play type of thing, and

apparently he's, like, popular with,

385

: 00:18:49

uh, with younger people, like teens

and stuff, and, like, non-problematic.

386

: 00:18:54

I don't know anything

else about him, right?

387

: 00:18:56

But apparently he's, like, somebody

you can leave your kids with.

388

: 00:18:59

He's got a podcast or whatever.

389

: 00:19:01

But he played a game called Iron

Lung that a lot of people loved,

390

: 00:19:04

and it, it was a cool concept.

391

: 00:19:06

I don't know shit about games.

392

: 00:19:07

But he self-financed and produced

and s- wrote, directed, starred in

393

: 00:19:13

this adaptation of the video game.

394

: 00:19:16

And it's good.

395

: 00:19:17

It's pretty good.

396

: 00:19:18

He- you can tell he pays attention.

397

: 00:19:20

You can tell he knows things

about, production or whatever.

398

: 00:19:24

Super small cast.

399

: 00:19:25

It was…

400

: 00:19:25

He's the only person that's

ever fully on camera.

401

: 00:19:28

There's two people we see through a

little, like, portal because he's in

402

: 00:19:31

a, he's in a underwater craft, and then

there's some voice actors over the radio.

403

: 00:19:36

And they, he made, they made bank

basically, and then when it came time to

404

: 00:19:40

release it, he released it independently.

405

: 00:19:43

Didn't go through any of

the streaming services.

406

: 00:19:45

And I'm like, "That is, that's important.

407

: 00:19:48

That could really change things,"

because the streaming services have

408

: 00:19:52

had a fucking chokehold on creativity.

409

: 00:19:56

I'm not gonna be a boomer about it

and say they've, they're, they've

410

: 00:19:58

killed the movie industry or

anything, cause that's not accurate.

411

: 00:20:01

A lot of things are

killing the movie industry.

412

: 00:20:04

and I love a lot of

the streaming services.

413

: 00:20:06

I love long-form television.

414

: 00:20:07

That's one of my favorite

things in the world is long-form

415

: 00:20:10

television and mini-series.

416

: 00:20:12

Anyway, and the other one is The Backrooms

Both horror movies, interestingly

417

: 00:20:17

Beck: Gotcha.

418

: 00:20:17

We were gonna go see that at

the drive-in, but we decided

419

: 00:20:19

to watch something else instead

420

: 00:20:21

Dash: It's gonna scare you, The Backrooms.

421

: 00:20:25

I haven't seen it, but the story of it…

422

: 00:20:27

And it's a, it's one very specific

interpretation of The Backrooms.

423

: 00:20:30

The interesting thing about The

Backrooms is that it's an internet meme.

424

: 00:20:34

Goes back to the mid-2000s.

425

: 00:20:37

It's, uh, from 4chan.

426

: 00:20:38

And it was somebody just posted a picture.

427

: 00:20:42

, On a board where they were - a

thread where they were talking

428

: 00:20:45

about liminal spaces, like liminal

aesthetic, and somebody posted a

429

: 00:20:49

picture of this, like, very mid-'80s

aesthetic blank office space.

430

: 00:20:56

Yellow, you know, walls and stuff,

and they were just like you're in

431

: 00:21:01

here, and you hear something in the

distance," or something like that.

432

: 00:21:03

And it's…

433

: 00:21:04

That's where The Backrooms comes from.

434

: 00:21:05

Then they started to create all this lore

about the different levels and what is

435

: 00:21:10

in the backrooms, and then there's a wiki

now, and people added levels and things.

436

: 00:21:15

And there's even purists who

are like, "No, there aren't

437

: 00:21:18

monsters in the backrooms.

438

: 00:21:19

It's just a liminal s- thing.

439

: 00:21:21

That's what's scary about it."

440

: 00:21:22

It's interesting.

441

: 00:21:24

Beck: It really is

442

: 00:21:26

We're gonna go see Supergirl this

Tuesday 'cause it's half price

443

: 00:21:30

and I can't,

444

: 00:21:31

Dash: Man, I should go see a movie.

445

: 00:21:33

I've been leaving the house more.

446

: 00:21:34

Now that I have my meds

back, I might be better.

447

: 00:21:38

They didn't have my ADHD meds though.

448

: 00:21:39

Can you tell?

449

: 00:21:43

Beck: Yeah, they're out of mine as well.

450

: 00:21:45

I'm on Adderall.

451

: 00:21:46

Uh, there's no secret about that.

452

: 00:21:47

Yeah, and that…

453

: 00:21:48

'Cause I take two different ones.

454

: 00:21:49

I take the extended release, and

then I take the non-extended release.

455

: 00:21:52

I take one

456

: 00:21:53

first thing in the morning and, yeah.

457

: 00:21:55

And they're out of both of them.

458

: 00:21:56

So luckily I have enough for this week.

459

: 00:21:58

But we'll see how it goes

460

: 00:22:00

Dash: No, not me.

461

: 00:22:01

I'm just raw dogging ADHD

462

: 00:22:09

Beck: I'm also on Pristiq.

463

: 00:22:10

I don't know if you've

heard of that one before

464

: 00:22:12

Dash: No.

465

: 00:22:12

Something does need to be done

though, because they don't want

466

: 00:22:15

to increase my Adderall dose

because I have a heart defect.

467

: 00:22:19

They found the same heart

defect that's killing mom.

468

: 00:22:22

I'll probably cut this out.

469

: 00:22:23

But while they were trying to figure

out what, what was making me sick,

470

: 00:22:27

they were like, "Oh, you have…

471

: 00:22:28

It's called leaky aorta."

472

: 00:22:30

yeah.

473

: 00:22:31

It's…

474

: 00:22:32

A- and he was like, "You know,

you're not gonna die of it tomorrow,

475

: 00:22:35

but yeah, eventually you'll

have congestive heart failure."

476

: 00:22:37

Beck: I'm sorry, dude

477

: 00:22:38

Dash: I mean, there's…

478

: 00:22:39

They can treat it.

479

: 00:22:41

You can try to be a healthier

version of yourself while you're

480

: 00:22:45

younger, which is really the best

course of action for something like

481

: 00:22:48

that 'cause my mom did not do that.

482

: 00:22:52

But also, like, something's

gonna kill all of us

483

: 00:22:55

Beck: None of my aunts made it past

50, the 50s, so I'm hoping that

484

: 00:22:58

I just make it to 60 is all I'm

hoping, so I can beat all of them,

485

: 00:23:01

'cause it's competition at this point

486

: 00:23:04

Dash: maybe.

487

: 00:23:05

And my, that generation of, you know, my

mom and her siblings, many of them have

488

: 00:23:11

lived longer than their parents did.

489

: 00:23:13

So, like, the hope is that we are c-

once this nightmare of an administration

490

: 00:23:19

is over, we go back to trying to learn

about science and health and stuff.

491

: 00:23:24

the other thing we would need

to do is democratize medicine

492

: 00:23:27

Beck: You know, The United States

is the only country participating

493

: 00:23:30

in the World Cup that doesn't

have, uh, socialized medicine

494

: 00:23:34

Dash: I saw that, yeah.

495

: 00:23:36

Beck: We're also one of three

industrialized nations, the other

496

: 00:23:39

two being Swaziland and Papua

New Guinea, that don't offer, uh,

497

: 00:23:44

government-funded maternity leave

498

: 00:23:47

Dash: I was listening…

499

: 00:23:47

Remember when we were

talking about Super El Niño?

500

: 00:23:49

And I was, uh, listening to a

climatologist talk about it this

501

: 00:23:53

morning and know a little bit

more about it, and I'm t- I want

502

: 00:23:56

to go back to precedented times,

503

: 00:24:00

Beck: Right?

504

: 00:24:02

Dash: precedented.

505

: 00:24:03

I'm getting fatigued with all of

these things, 'cause it's gonna cause,

506

: 00:24:08

like, a famine basically next year

507

: 00:24:11

Beck: Have you heard that LA,

the fault that they're on is like

508

: 00:24:13

at 1,000 year high or something?

509

: 00:24:17

Dash: Yeah.

510

: 00:24:17

It is, it's gonna go.

511

: 00:24:19

Like, and a lot of people, at this point,

people who live in California, they always

512

: 00:24:23

kinda talk about the big one and joke

about the big one, and man, is it overdue.

513

: 00:24:29

Beck: Yeah.

514

: 00:24:30

Dash: Damn.

515

: 00:24:31

Do you know that Kentucky, like,

h- per, I don't know what you

516

: 00:24:35

would call it, per square foot

has more faults than California?

517

: 00:24:40

Beck: I did not know that

518

: 00:24:41

Dash: It's full of them I think because

it's at the foothills of the Appalachias

519

: 00:24:45

and because of it being it has so

many caves and rivers and underwear-

520

: 00:24:49

underwater- underground water systems

521

: 00:24:52

Beck: You said underwear

522

: 00:24:53

Dash: I did.

523

: 00:24:54

Oh, uh, I s- I put the link to the

YouTube teleparty in the Slack And

524

: 00:25:00

Beck: put my link, the first

one that I wanna start with

525

: 00:25:02

Dash: okay

526

: 00:25:03

Beck: Yehaw.

527

: 00:25:04

Oh Join the party

528

: 00:25:07

Dash: There you are so this came, uh, Eric

sent me this and he found it on Twitter.

529

: 00:25:13

There's an account that just tweets this

over and over again and I don't know why,

530

: 00:25:35

What are they doing?

531

: 00:25:37

We're just innocent men.

532

: 00:25:39

And there's, like, people have asked them

about the clip, the, t- the performers in

533

: 00:25:43

that, and they were like, "I don't know."

534

: 00:25:45

Like, the guy who was doing the puppet,

he goes, "I just did this thing.

535

: 00:25:49

I asked her to get down real close."

536

: 00:25:50

And listeners, if you haven't seen

that clip, and I'll put a link to

537

: 00:25:54

it in the episode description it's a

puppet and a human woman, and she…

538

: 00:26:00

The clip opens with them nose-to-nose.

539

: 00:26:01

She's bent down to be nose-to-nose to him.

540

: 00:26:03

And so he was like, "Yeah, I just told

her to get real close to the puppet, and

541

: 00:26:06

then I said that, and she died laughing."

542

: 00:26:10

And that was what he wanted,

was to just crack her up.

543

: 00:26:12

I think what's funny to me

about it is the way she breaks.

544

: 00:26:15

She wasn't expecting it, and this

little snort when she laughs, I

545

: 00:26:18

was like, "He really got her."

546

: 00:26:20

I love seeing somebody

really get somebody.

547

: 00:26:23

Beck: Yehaw

548

: 00:26:24

Dash: that is a good joke right there

when you can just get them like that,

549

: 00:26:27

and on TV.

550

: 00:26:28

Beck: I agree

551

: 00:26:30

Dash: Okay, let me get I can't

remember if we were on the air or not

552

: 00:26:33

or if we were recording yet when you

explained this clip, so, you wanna

553

: 00:26:38

tell us why you picked this one?

554

: 00:26:40

Beck: So this clip was, it was my mom's,

like, favorite video for a long time.

555

: 00:26:45

It was the first video that I remember,

like, kinda going viral in my family.

556

: 00:26:50

It's like the first

YouTube video I ever saw.

557

: 00:26:52

And it had…

558

: 00:26:53

it pops up every now and again,

not so much now that my mom died.

559

: 00:26:56

But it would just make the

family rounds sometimes.

560

: 00:26:59

And again, it was my kinda

first introduction to YouTube,

561

: 00:27:39

Dash: Oh, man.

562

: 00:27:41

Beck: Okay, so it is very sophomore

humor, but I mean, it, my mom

563

: 00:27:44

like cried laughing over it,

564

: 00:27:46

Dash: and what's incredible about this

too is that it is also a real commercial.

565

: 00:27:52

Beck: Exactly

566

: 00:27:53

Dash: Oh my God, I haven't seen that one.

567

: 00:27:55

All right.

568

: 00:27:56

This is the one I was telling

you that I picked because I

569

: 00:28:00

want-- I think you'll like it.

570

: 00:29:49

Beck: This sounds like

people from Bingo, I swear

571

: 00:29:52

Dash: Well, and so that video

is from 10 years ago now.

572

: 00:29:56

It's been and from a comedian named

Libby Higgins, but that was early in

573

: 00:30:02

her career kind of the first time…

574

: 00:30:04

She was active on Vine.

575

: 00:30:06

She was one of those people

who was really funny on Vine.

576

: 00:30:08

But the number of people who

thought that was real, right?

577

: 00:30:11

They didn't know that was a

character was kinda surprising to me.

578

: 00:30:15

She has a podcast too called Trailer

Tales with a couple of other comedians.

579

: 00:30:23

Th- they're very funny.

580

: 00:30:24

There's rumors that one or more of

them is MAGA, but I in my limited

581

: 00:30:30

efforts, haven't been able to verify

that because they don't really talk

582

: 00:30:35

about serious things on their podcast.

583

: 00:30:36

It's only jokes about being white trash.

584

: 00:30:39

Beck: Right?

585

: 00:30:40

Dash: But anyway I, I

enjoy her shit Excuse me?

586

: 00:30:45

Beck: Excuse me.

587

: 00:30:47

She reminds me of my old

neighbor, Suzanne, but she was…

588

: 00:30:51

Suzanne thought she was high shit.

589

: 00:30:53

She was a gym teacher.

590

: 00:30:54

She was the lady, I've told you

about her before, when we moved

591

: 00:30:56

to Bowling Green, the first thing

she said to me was, "Honey, we

592

: 00:30:59

gotta get that weight off of you."

593

: 00:31:00

Dash: Oh, right, right

594

: 00:31:07

Beck: I saw you posted you were

200 days smoke-free, by the way.

595

: 00:31:09

Congratulations.

596

: 00:31:11

Dash: Yehaw,

597

: 00:31:12

Beck: I'm so proud of you

598

: 00:31:15

Dash: Pretty crazy.

599

: 00:31:15

That's, it's more than ha-

it's more than half a year

600

: 00:31:19

Beck: Yeah, that's fantastic.

601

: 00:31:21

If you can make it a couple of

years, you're gonna be scot-free.

602

: 00:31:24

You know what I mean?

603

: 00:31:25

'Cause you're still gonna have

a lot of cravings and stuff

604

: 00:31:27

where you're at right now.

605

: 00:31:29

But are you to where it smells awful?

606

: 00:31:31

Have you gotten through that

607

: 00:31:32

Dash: Yeah I walked past somebody that

was puffing away and I was like, "Ugh."

608

: 00:31:36

It kind of burnt the

609

: 00:31:37

inside of my nose, you know?

610

: 00:31:38

Beck: Yeah.

611

: 00:31:39

That goes away.

612

: 00:31:40

Thankfully, that goes

613

: 00:31:41

away.

614

: 00:31:41

It's not as bad after a couple years,

so, because now it just reminds me of

615

: 00:31:45

my mom, and I kinda like how it smells

616

: 00:31:47

Dash: Yehaw.

617

: 00:31:49

Maybe I'll just…

618

: 00:31:49

But I want you to be able to see

it, and we can't share screen.

619

: 00:31:53

You know, w- maybe we'll do s- memes and

social media and stuff on another episode.

620

: 00:31:59

And use software we can

actually share screens.

621

: 00:31:59

Yeah.

622

: 00:31:59

Yeah let's…

623

: 00:31:59

'Cause th- there is social media

on the wheel of what have you

624

: 00:32:03

also, so that would work for that.

625

: 00:32:06

But yeah.

626

: 00:32:07

Well, uh, I would be interested in

hearing y- y'all's favorite YouTube stuff.

627

: 00:32:14

Is there a channel you like?

628

: 00:32:16

Is there a compilation you like?

629

: 00:32:18

I like to watch things about spiders.

630

: 00:32:21

Beck: Ugh

631

: 00:32:22

Dash: I don't know why.

632

: 00:32:23

I'm just f- fascinated by them.

633

: 00:32:25

They're just really cool.

634

: 00:32:27

I don't know.

635

: 00:32:28

It's weird.

636

: 00:32:28

I would

637

: 00:32:29

Beck: I've n-

638

: 00:32:29

Dash: one

639

: 00:32:30

Beck: my best friend hates spiders,

and then her her son came home

640

: 00:32:34

with a like a giant tarantula.

641

: 00:32:37

And when he moved out, he left the

spider, and Tracy ended up taking care

642

: 00:32:40

of it, and its name what was its name?

643

: 00:32:45

Tiffany.

644

: 00:32:46

The spider's name was Tiffany.

645

: 00:32:48

Dash: That is not what I

was expecting you to say.

646

: 00:32:51

Beck: And it just passed

away like a month ago.

647

: 00:32:53

Dash: Aw RIP Tiffany

648

: 00:32:54

Tarantula

649

: 00:32:55

Beck: Tiffany.

650

: 00:32:56

Dash: I had a coworker that

had a cat named Chicken, and I

651

: 00:33:00

thought that was really funny.

652

: 00:33:02

Beck: Yeah, I had a cat named Ted, damn it

653

: 00:33:04

Dash: yeah.

654

: 00:33:06

I don't know if I've really had too many.

655

: 00:33:08

That…

656

: 00:33:08

I was about to say something

so stupid, that I haven't had

657

: 00:33:11

weird pet names for my cats.

658

: 00:33:13

Beck: Yeah, you have a brisket?

659

: 00:33:16

Dash: Brisket, Beef.

660

: 00:33:18

Beck: I had one named Trance.

661

: 00:33:19

We called him Trance in your pants

662

: 00:33:21

Dash: I think it's that like

it, when you name an animal,

663

: 00:33:25

it's no longer weird to you.

664

: 00:33:26

It's, it might be weird to other

people, but like it never sound, Brisket

665

: 00:33:30

never sounds weird to me until I have

to tell somebody his name's Brisket.

666

: 00:33:33

And then I'm like, "Oh, okay.

667

: 00:33:35

Yeah, this is odd."

668

: 00:33:36

And Beef he w- he reminded

me of a cow and was fat, so

669

: 00:33:43

Beck: I get it.

670

: 00:33:44

Dash: Yehaw

671

: 00:33:45

Beck: I've been calling

Rue, uh, Rufus this week.

672

: 00:33:48

I've not settled on her nickname yet.

673

: 00:33:50

Or if she has like a full name, it's

gonna be Rue Dabega, D-A-B-E-G-A.

674

: 00:33:55

Rue

675

: 00:33:56

Dash: yeah

676

: 00:33:57

Beck: But Rufus has stuck this week, so

677

: 00:34:00

Dash: I'll either name it whatever

word pops into my head, which is what

678

: 00:34:03

happened with Brisket, or they'll be

named after some book or TV show or movie.

679

: 00:34:10

So Oscar and Felix are named after…

680

: 00:34:13

Oscar is named after a book,

a character in Extremely Loud

681

: 00:34:18

and Incredibly Close, the

682

: 00:34:19

narrator.

683

: 00:34:20

Beck: Yeah

684

: 00:34:21

Dash: Felix is named Felix

because Oscar was named Oscar,

685

: 00:34:24

and they're the odd couple

686

: 00:34:26

Beck: Got ya.

687

: 00:34:28

We, I always let my

animals name themselves.

688

: 00:34:29

I keep 'em for a while and then

they tell me what their name is.

689

: 00:34:32

Like Ted, we named him

because of TED Talks.

690

: 00:34:34

That cat never shut up, so his name

was TED Talks Damn It, was his name.

691

: 00:34:40

. Today was, uh, Does That

Dog Have Eyebrows Day

692

: 00:34:44

Dash: Do you want me to post

that on the Queerneck story?

693

: 00:34:47

Yeah.

694

: 00:34:48

The original post let's hear

from this week's sponsor

695

: 00:34:53

Beck: Okay

696

: 00:34:54

Dash: So, uh, first wanna recognize

that this is not a universal experience.

697

: 00:34:59

There are probably many folks who

didn't have this experience growing

698

: 00:35:03

up for various reasons, and maybe

this experience is gone entirely

699

: 00:35:07

for some of our younger viewers.

700

: 00:35:09

I don't know.

701

: 00:35:09

You'll have to let us know.

702

: 00:35:11

But we are, uh, sponsored today by,

uh, Family Game Night, the highly

703

: 00:35:17

competitive tournament breeding mild

resentment held right at the kitchen

704

: 00:35:21

table on a rainy Friday night.

705

: 00:35:24

This holler tradition of pulling a stack

of taped up cardboard boxes out of the

706

: 00:35:28

hall closet and trying to construct an

evening of it out of sheer chaos was

707

: 00:35:32

likely born out of the need to keep the

youngins out of trouble of a weekend.

708

: 00:35:36

The inventory is always

a complete disaster.

709

: 00:35:39

You've got several ancient sets of

nearly complete card decks, so you

710

: 00:35:43

can play poker, but no one has ever

seen the point in buying chips when

711

: 00:35:47

there are so many different kinds

of dried pasta in the cupboard.

712

: 00:35:50

If somebody wants to play checkers, the

board is missing half the set, so you're

713

: 00:35:54

kinging milk jug caps with old washers.

714

: 00:35:57

But the highlight of the night is

the: 1987

715

: 00:36:02

You just don't know the glory of

playing a 20 years out of date trivia

716

: 00:36:08

game that nobody stands a chance

in hell of knowing anything about.

717

: 00:36:12

There is little funnier than asking a

teenager to identify the Secretary of

718

: 00:36:17

State under the Reagan administration

or name a Czech tennis player who

719

: 00:36:20

retired before they were born just

to get a little plastic wedge.

720

: 00:36:25

The pop culture category is

basically just a list of people

721

: 00:36:28

who died of old age 20 years ago.

722

: 00:36:31

But every now and then, that 1987 box

will absolutely throw you for a loop.

723

: 00:36:34

You'll be sitting there under the

fluorescent kitchen light picking a

724

: 00:36:37

history card, expecting a question about

the construction of the Hoover Dam or

725

: 00:36:40

some shit, and suddenly you get hit with

a question about the Stonewall riots.

726

: 00:36:44

Right there between questions about

Iran-Contra, and the birthstone for

727

: 00:36:48

October, the game drops a piece of

queer liberation history on a family

728

: 00:36:53

that hasn't even processed the fact

that their uncle's roommate has been

729

: 00:36:56

living there for a real long time.

730

: 00:36:58

It is a beautiful, deeply awkward five

seconds of absolute silence while your

731

: 00:37:03

papaw tries to figure out if Stonewall

has something to do with Jackson.

732

: 00:37:06

By hour three, the dog has eaten the

green wedges, your cousin has gone all

733

: 00:37:10

in on a pair of jacks with a bowl of

uncooked penne, and everybody is too

734

: 00:37:14

tired to argue anymore, which is really

the entire purpose of family game night.

735

: 00:37:19

So Family Game Night, teaching country

kids how to navigate high stakes gambling

736

: 00:37:24

and unexpected social history long before

we had to deal with the real world.

737

: 00:37:27

And now back to Queernecks where

our pasta is still uncooked

738

: 00:37:31

Beck: See, we had a real, uh, a

real life slot machine in my house.

739

: 00:37:36

Um, my dad tracked down the first

one my mom ever played and bought

740

: 00:37:39

it, and it sat right outside my room

741

: 00:37:41

Dash: Oh yeah, you told me that.

742

: 00:37:42

That is cool.

743

: 00:37:44

Did you have to use money to play it?

744

: 00:37:46

Beck: Quarters, yeah.

745

: 00:37:47

You put quarters in it.

746

: 00:37:48

Mom had a bucket of quarters that stayed

in it, and you could play all you wanted.

747

: 00:37:52

I had a cousin who was delayed and he

would sit there for hours and play that,

748

: 00:37:56

and he'd hit the jackpot and he'd love it.

749

: 00:37:58

But yeah, it was a lot of fun.

750

: 00:38:00

the whore that moved into my mom's

house, some- they did something with it.

751

: 00:38:03

It was not there when I moved back in

752

: 00:38:05

Dash: Oh man, that sucks.

753

: 00:38:07

You might be able to track it

754

: 00:38:08

down on like eBay or something

755

: 00:38:10

Beck: Maybe.

756

: 00:38:11

I couldn't prove that it was mine.

757

: 00:38:12

There were no, like,

papers or anything, you

758

: 00:38:14

Dash: Right

759

: 00:38:15

You know, we, mom had a giant…

760

: 00:38:18

She had these, well, tons of mason jars

and Ball jars and things everywhere,

761

: 00:38:22

and one of them was full of pennies.

762

: 00:38:25

And it was like a, I don't know if it was

a gallon, but it was one of those ones

763

: 00:38:28

that was like a, you know, a foot tall.

764

: 00:38:31

Beck: Yehaw

765

: 00:38:31

Dash: Which you're not supposed to keep

pennies in that, in those because they

766

: 00:38:34

can explode, but, you know, whatever.

767

: 00:38:36

And so we would play poker with those.

768

: 00:38:38

But some- I don't know why, but

sometimes we would also actually play

769

: 00:38:42

with pasta, like different kinds of

uncooked pasta that she kept in various

770

: 00:38:47

Beck: My family would…

771

: 00:38:48

By the time I was old enough to, 'cause

I was the youngest, so by the time I was

772

: 00:38:51

old enough to be playing games, I remember

playing Pictionary with my brother-in-law

773

: 00:38:55

one time, and I didn't know what a goatee

was, and he got mad and quit playing.

774

: 00:38:59

So

775

: 00:39:00

Dash: I think that I don't know,

but really lucky to grow up

776

: 00:39:03

having that experience, and some

of my favorite memories are…

777

: 00:39:07

'Cause we really did, it was regular,

778

: 00:39:10

Beck: Well, we had card nights.

779

: 00:39:11

My grandparents used to come over

and play cards with my mom and dad

780

: 00:39:15

every night when I was a kid, but I

didn't get to play in those games.

781

: 00:39:18

But then once in a while

we'd have a whole family.

782

: 00:39:20

We played this game called Oh

Shit which was kind of like an

783

: 00:39:23

early predecessor to Phase 10.

784

: 00:39:26

It was the same idea as Phase

10 with different rounds.

785

: 00:39:29

And we used to play that as a family,

so there, there was some card.

786

: 00:39:33

And euchre, they used to play euchre.

787

: 00:39:35

Ooh, did they had a trophy for

their euchre tournaments that

788

: 00:39:38

they would pass back and forth.

789

: 00:39:39

So that was our version, I guess.

790

: 00:39:42

you know how to play euchre?

791

: 00:39:44

Dash: Uh, no.

792

: 00:39:44

Beck: It's very easy to learn

793

: 00:39:46

Dash: I mean, I would like to.

794

: 00:39:47

I like card games.

795

: 00:39:49

Uh, we used to play those a lot too on

family game night, especially as we got

796

: 00:39:53

old enough to, like, do more complex math.

797

: 00:39:57

Around the time I was probably…

798

: 00:40:01

It was, we still lived in the trailer

park, so I would've been, like, under 10,

799

: 00:40:07

under 11 And probably quite a bit younger

than that, we started playing poker.

800

: 00:40:12

And poker is like the intro,

especially like five card draw,

801

: 00:40:16

that's easy to learn the basic

mechanics of how a card game works.

802

: 00:40:21

And but then as we got a little

bit older, we played a lot of Rook,

803

: 00:40:25

which uses a proprietary deck.

804

: 00:40:27

You don't use a standard

card deck for Rook.

805

: 00:40:30

there's a, a game similar to Rook that

does use a standard card deck called

806

: 00:40:34

Setback, and the grownups would play that.

807

: 00:40:37

I don't know why, because

they're the same game basically.

808

: 00:40:39

But the grownups played Setback, but when

they were with the kids, we played Rook

809

: 00:40:44

I love Rook.

810

: 00:40:45

I haven't played it

811

: 00:40:46

w-

812

: 00:40:46

Beck: never played that one

813

: 00:40:47

Dash: like 20 years.

814

: 00:40:49

It's, I, it's so good.

815

: 00:40:50

This, it's such high-level

strategy and reading people,

816

: 00:41:00

but the thing about the

Stonewall, that's real.

817

: 00:41:02

That's how I learned about Stonewall, was

from our out-of-date Trivial Pursuit game

818

: 00:41:09

Beck: Oh, I didn't learn until like

I got to like almost grad school.

819

: 00:41:14

Dash: obviously I'm not learning

about it from the game, but that's

820

: 00:41:17

the first time I heard about it.

821

: 00:41:19

And even just the way the question

was phrased, like, you know, it was

822

: 00:41:22

asking about, like, what kind of…

823

: 00:41:24

You know, what was the riot or

action about, you know, gay rights

824

: 00:41:30

that took place, yada, yada.

825

: 00:41:33

Uh, and so that was the first time

as a kid I actually even thought that

826

: 00:41:37

such a thing might happen, that gay

rights were a thing, that k- that

827

: 00:41:41

places gay people hung out were a thing

828

: 00:41:44

Beck: Right?

829

: 00:41:45

I just didn't think about gay stuff

until I got out of high school.

830

: 00:41:48

Like, I knew I knew deep in my heart

'cause I had feelings for particular

831

: 00:41:53

people that I knew my other friends

weren't having the same kinds of feelings.

832

: 00:41:57

But I wouldn't let myself come

to grips with that because it was

833

: 00:42:00

so scary in high school back then

834

: 00:42:02

Dash: You know.

835

: 00:42:03

Man, I had such intense crushes.

836

: 00:42:05

Beck: Yeah, me too.

837

: 00:42:06

Dash: But I, the girl that I wound up,

like, actually kind of dating in high

838

: 00:42:11

school was the only person that I…

839

: 00:42:14

Not the only person I dated.

840

: 00:42:15

I had boyfriends.

841

: 00:42:16

But she was a straight girl,

and she ruined my senior year.

842

: 00:42:21

It was…

843

: 00:42:22

I can't say that I wish we, I

hadn't dated her because I learned

844

: 00:42:25

a lot about stuff, I guess.

845

: 00:42:26

But my God, did she ruin my life.

846

: 00:42:29

'Cause she wound up dating my best friend.

847

: 00:42:33

And

848

: 00:42:33

Beck: no

849

: 00:42:34

Dash: turn- yeah, so my best friend Ben,

like, she left me for him on prom night.

850

: 00:42:39

It was like a fucking teen movie

851

: 00:42:42

Beck: Yeah, I didn't know early

enough, uh, to go to the prom with…

852

: 00:42:45

Though I did go to prom with

gay people, just gay men

853

: 00:42:48

Dash: Yehaw

854

: 00:42:49

Beck: fuck

855

: 00:42:50

Dash: What'd you do?

856

: 00:42:51

Beck: Just ripped off half my fingernail

857

: 00:42:53

Dash: What?

858

: 00:42:54

Beck: Yehaw

859

: 00:42:55

Dash: Are you a fingernail biter?

860

: 00:42:57

Beck: So I was for a long time and

then after my mom died, I just quit

861

: 00:43:03

for, you know, whatever reason.

862

: 00:43:04

And so I've got eight perfectly

good nails, like I have to trim

863

: 00:43:08

them to keep them short now.

864

: 00:43:09

And then I've got these two that I've

been fucking with, and then this one,

865

: 00:43:13

I don't know if you can see it, but I

866

: 00:43:14

tore the whole n-

867

: 00:43:14

Dash: Oh.

868

: 00:43:16

Oh.

869

: 00:43:17

I can feel that.

870

: 00:43:19

Stop touching it.

871

: 00:43:20

I can see you picking at it right now.

872

: 00:43:23

Put your hands in your pockets.

873

: 00:43:25

Sit on your hands.

874

: 00:43:27

I- I've never been a nail biter

because my nails are indestructible.

875

: 00:43:30

I would break a tooth trying to…

876

: 00:43:32

Beck: Yeah.

877

: 00:43:33

Dash: I have to cut them every other day

878

: 00:43:35

Beck: I cut mine about twice a week

usually, 'cause they grow out so fast now.

879

: 00:43:39

Used to I didn't think my nails grew at

all 'cause I just would tear them off.

880

: 00:43:42

'Cause I was a biter first and then

I became a picker, and picking was

881

: 00:43:46

worse because you like rip off.

882

: 00:43:49

Like that is gone.

883

: 00:43:50

Like that, like I

884

: 00:43:51

Dash: Yeah.

885

: 00:43:51

Oh, man.

886

: 00:43:51

Beck: nail left on that.

887

: 00:43:53

Dash: You were like, "Why

don't my nails grow?"

888

: 00:43:56

Beck: that's…

889

: 00:43:56

Yeah, yeah.

890

: 00:43:58

Pretty much

891

: 00:43:59

Dash: I, yeah, I feel bad

for people who have…

892

: 00:44:01

'Cause I've never been a nail biter,

like I said, but I pick at my, I

893

: 00:44:04

have picked at my cuticles and chewed

on my cuticles before as a kid.

894

: 00:44:07

I would chew them things

back to the knuckle.

895

: 00:44:09

Sorry if this is triggering anything to

anybody listening, uh, 'cause some folks,

896

: 00:44:13

man, they got it bad with nail biting.

897

: 00:44:16

Beck: Yehaw

898

: 00:44:16

Dash: And that would suck because of the

way, you know, like when you break a nail

899

: 00:44:20

off too short, it hurts to touch things.

900

: 00:44:22

You can't do shit

901

: 00:44:24

Beck: Right?

902

: 00:44:25

Meow.

903

: 00:44:26

Dash: Yeah.

904

: 00:44:26

Can you hear her?

905

: 00:44:28

I don't know which…

906

: 00:44:29

Sometimes they get treats at

this, in the afternoon, so

907

: 00:44:32

that may be what she's after.

908

: 00:44:34

Come here, baby.

909

: 00:44:35

Oh.

910

: 00:44:37

Beck: I have everybody

shut out of the room, so

911

: 00:44:39

Dash: Well, I'm in the hallway, so

912

: 00:44:42

Uh, did you bring any noun

of Appalachian interest?

913

: 00:44:45

Beck: Good.

914

: 00:44:46

This week's noun is a person All right.

915

: 00:44:50

Uh, today's town of

Appalachian interest is Dr.

916

: 00:44:52

Henry Louis Gates, Jr.

917

: 00:44:54

Now, I know many of you will say, "Who?"

918

: 00:44:57

But you probably know him from the PBS

show Finding Your Roots, where he sits

919

: 00:45:00

across from famous people with a book and

somehow makes genealogy feel like both

920

: 00:45:05

a family reunion and a courtroom drama.

921

: 00:45:07

He'll look somebody straight in the

eye, turn a page, and suddenly f-

922

: 00:45:10

they find out their great something

s out here causing trouble in: 1847

923

: 00:45:14

And you know, I respect that.

924

: 00:45:16

Everyone needs to be reminded

sometimes that we all come from

925

: 00:45:18

a long line of troublemakers.

926

: 00:45:20

But before Dr.

927

: 00:45:21

Gates became the man on PBS gently

wrecking celebrities with census

928

: 00:45:24

records, he was a kid from West Virginia.

929

: 00:45:27

He was born in Keyser and grew up in

Piedmont, a small town tucked in the

930

: 00:45:30

mountains along the Potomac River.

931

: 00:45:32

Piedmont was a paper mill town, the

kind of place where everybody knew

932

: 00:45:35

your people, your business, your

mamaw, and probably what time you

933

: 00:45:38

turned the, your porch light off.

934

: 00:45:40

Appalachia is often talked about like

it only has one story, one accent, one

935

: 00:45:44

experience, one kind of family, and you

and I both know that has never been true,

936

: 00:45:48

no matter how many outsiders believe it.

937

: 00:45:50

Dr.

938

: 00:45:51

Louis Henry Gates, Jr.

939

: 00:45:52

is part of Black Appalachia, and

Black Appalachia is not a side note.

940

: 00:45:56

It is part of the region's history,

its labor, culture, music, schools,

941

: 00:45:59

churches, neighborhoods, and memory.

942

: 00:46:01

You do not get to tell the story

of Appalachia and leave that out

943

: 00:46:04

just because somebody watched one

documentary and decided we were all

944

: 00:46:08

barefoot extras in a Coal Camp remake.

945

: 00:46:11

Dr.

946

: 00:46:11

Gates went on to become one of the

most important scholars in African

947

: 00:46:14

and African American studies.

948

: 00:46:16

That field is deeply connected to

American cultural studies because

949

: 00:46:20

it asks how race, language,

literature, history, and identity

950

: 00:46:22

shape the country that we live in.

951

: 00:46:24

And yes, I did just say American

cultural studies on a podcast

952

: 00:46:28

that also once spent serious time

discussing gas station chicken.

953

: 00:46:31

The, we have a range.

954

: 00:46:33

His work reminds us that culture

is not just paintings in a museum

955

: 00:46:36

or some old book nobody wants

to read unless there's a quiz.

956

: 00:46:39

Culture is what people remember.

957

: 00:46:41

It's what families pass down.

958

: 00:46:42

It's what gets hidden, what gets saved,

and what gets whispered, and what somebody

959

: 00:46:46

finally says out loud at Thanksgiving

after too much sweet potato pie.

960

: 00:46:50

That is why Finding Your

Roots works so beautifully.

961

: 00:46:52

It's not just about famous people

learning they are related to kings

962

: 00:46:55

or moonshiners or somebody who had 18

children and apparently no hobbies.

963

: 00:47:00

It was about how history

lives in regular families.

964

: 00:47:02

You could find it in family names old

homesteads and hometowns, in the stories

965

: 00:47:07

that have been passed down and the

stories that nobody is allowed to tell.

966

: 00:47:10

There's a few of those in every holler.

967

: 00:47:12

But people from this region know what

it means to carry a place with you.

968

: 00:47:15

You can leave the mountain, the mill

town, the holler, the riverbank, but

969

: 00:47:18

it has a funny way of packing itself in

your suitcase without asking permission.

970

: 00:47:23

Dr.

971

: 00:47:23

Gates spent his career showing

that the past is not dead weight.

972

: 00:47:26

It is a map.

973

: 00:47:27

Sometimes it's messy or painful.

974

: 00:47:29

Sometimes it shows you something

beautiful that your family almost

975

: 00:47:32

lost, and sometimes it tells you

that your people were much more

976

: 00:47:35

interesting than anybody gave them

credit for, and that's the part I love.

977

: 00:47:39

one of the best-known voices in the

study of Black history and culture.

978

: 00:47:42

That does not make him an exception

in Appalachia, it makes him

979

: 00:47:45

part of the truth of Appalachia.

980

: 00:47:47

So today we honor Dr.

981

: 00:47:48

Lu- Henry Louis Gates, the Appalachian

now, who reminds us that family

982

: 00:47:51

stories are never simple, history

is never finished, and that West

983

: 00:47:55

Virginia has produced more than

pepperoni rolls, country roads, and

984

: 00:47:58

people who can give directions using

buildings that burned down in: 1983

985

: 00:48:02

Thank you, Dr.

986

: 00:48:03

Gates

987

: 00:48:04

Dash: Hell yeah.

988

: 00:48:06

Love.

989

: 00:48:07

The first time I heard of him was

in, uh, my master's program, and

990

: 00:48:10

we read The Signifying Monkey.

991

: 00:48:12

Have you read that?

992

: 00:48:13

Beck: Nope

993

: 00:48:14

Dash: It's from, uh, 1988.

994

: 00:48:17

And so I like it.

995

: 00:48:18

I'm a structuralist.

996

: 00:48:19

I- a post-structuralist.

997

: 00:48:20

I love structuralism.

998

: 00:48:21

And so he's, like, signifying when used in

Afro-American cr- uh, cultural criticism,

999

: 00:48:27

describes kind of tropes like metonymy,

metaphor, double talk and it's a way

: 1000

00:48:32,961 --> 00:48:34,861

of indirectly referencing something.

: 1001

00:48:35,131 --> 00:48:40,381

So an example that, that he gave was

the way in African American vernacular

: 1002

00:48:40,881 --> 00:48:45,741

you can show affection for someone

through the construct of an insult.

: 1003

00:48:46,061 --> 00:48:52,221

But it comes from, doubling the term

off of Ferdinand de Saussure's construct

: 1004

00:48:52,221 --> 00:48:58,602

of signification, which is basically,

uh, the relationship between a sign

: 1005

00:48:58,642 --> 00:49:02,952

and what it signifies basically is,

like, h- how we express meaning.

: 1006

00:49:03,952 --> 00:49:06,602

Anyway, that is just to say that

he is brilliant, and everybody

: 1007

00:49:06,602 --> 00:49:07,812

should read Signifying Monkey

: 1008

00:49:13,747 --> 00:49:14,077

Um,

: 1009

00:49:14,303 --> 00:49:15,903

you heard of Affrilachian?

: 1010

00:49:16,537 --> 00:49:17,087

Beck: Yeah.

: 1011

00:49:17,087 --> 00:49:17,777

I follow them

: 1012

00:49:18,045 --> 00:49:18,895

Dash: Oh, is it a…

: 1013

00:49:19,589 --> 00:49:19,689

Beck: Facebook.

: 1014

00:49:19,689 --> 00:49:21,839

There's a page, uh, it's Affrilachian.

: 1015

00:49:22,362 --> 00:49:24,397

It's a, an artist and a

: 1016

00:49:24,397 --> 00:49:24,917

poet

: 1017

00:49:25,216 --> 00:49:25,936

Dash: Oh, okay.

: 1018

00:49:26,196 --> 00:49:33,019

So, um, the person who coined the term is

named, Frank X Walker and it refers to,

: 1019

00:49:33,069 --> 00:49:39,819

uh, the kind of culture created by people

who arrived in Appalachia via the slave

: 1020

00:49:39,819 --> 00:49:42,839

trade or, the Underground Railroad, right?

: 1021

00:49:42,839 --> 00:49:44,099

Like people of those experience.

: 1022

00:49:44,119 --> 00:49:46,289

And so he coined it because he's a poet.

: 1023

00:49:47,059 --> 00:49:49,669

And he taught - I've

taken courses with him.

: 1024

00:49:49,669 --> 00:49:51,729

He taught at EKU when I was an undergrad.

: 1025

00:49:52,179 --> 00:49:52,669

Beck: neat!

: 1026

00:49:53,009 --> 00:49:54,219

Dash: before he was famous.

: 1027

00:49:54,219 --> 00:50:00,975

This was before the Appalachia, the idea

of it as a cultural expression took off.

: 1028

00:50:01,995 --> 00:50:02,795

Beck: That's amazing

: 1029

00:50:03,639 --> 00:50:05,719

Dash: Everybody should

read Frank X Walker.

: 1030

00:50:05,719 --> 00:50:05,939

I don't…

: 1031

00:50:05,949 --> 00:50:06,999

Wonder where he's at now?

: 1032

00:50:07,999 --> 00:50:09,689

He's from Danville, Kentucky

: 1033

00:50:10,263 --> 00:50:11,493

Beck: That's around Pikeville, isn't it?

: 1034

00:50:12,075 --> 00:50:14,075

Dash: No, Danville's Central Kentucky.

: 1035

00:50:14,379 --> 00:50:14,769

Beck: Ah.

: 1036

00:50:15,505 --> 00:50:19,465

Dash: Walker coined the term Affrilachia,

signifying the importance of the

: 1037

00:50:19,465 --> 00:50:25,375

African American presence influence

in Appalachia he was Poet Laureate

: 1038

00:50:25,375 --> 00:50:28,265

of Kentucky from: 2013

: 1039

00:50:29,265 --> 00:50:31,430

Where are you teaching right now, Frank?

: 1040

00:50:31,930 --> 00:50:32,900

Maybe he's not teaching.

: 1041

00:50:32,910 --> 00:50:35,730

Maybe he's And he learned

under Gurney Norman.

: 1042

00:50:35,740 --> 00:50:37,270

Have you ever read any of his stuff?

: 1043

00:50:37,566 --> 00:50:42,176

He died recently, but he was also

a very big deal you know, to, to

: 1044

00:50:42,176 --> 00:50:47,316

Kentucky and to in general I'll

put some links to Frank's stuff.

: 1045

00:50:47,376 --> 00:50:50,396

Uh, I'm gonna put a bunch of stuff

for people to, to study up on if

: 1046

00:50:50,396 --> 00:50:53,549

they want to and Beck will put it

in the newsletter this week too.

: 1047

00:50:54,506 --> 00:50:58,316

Oh, well, we gotta spin this wheel and

see what our homework is for next week

: 1048

00:50:58,612 --> 00:51:01,907

Beck: Okay This fa- this YouTube

one really threw me for a loop.

: 1049

00:51:01,907 --> 00:51:04,317

I was watching YouTube videos

on end and I couldn't…

: 1050

00:51:04,597 --> 00:51:07,987

That's why I went with the one that I went

with, 'cause it started everything, right?

: 1051

00:51:08,187 --> 00:51:10,487

'Cause it was such a broad

thing, a YouTube video that kinda

: 1052

00:51:10,487 --> 00:51:13,321

meant something, and there's

like, where do you go with that?

: 1053

00:51:13,321 --> 00:51:16,211

That's the way that I interpreted it,

and so that's why I went with, you

: 1054

00:51:16,211 --> 00:51:17,791

know, the first one that I remember

: 1055

00:51:17,835 --> 00:51:18,525

Dash: Yeah.

: 1056

00:51:19,755 --> 00:51:21,035

Um, Oh, damn.

: 1057

00:51:21,055 --> 00:51:22,285

It landed on social media.

: 1058

00:51:24,708 --> 00:51:28,418

Yeah and you know, if it land, next time

it lands on it, it maybe it'll be easier

: 1059

00:51:28,418 --> 00:51:30,580

to just bullshit come up with something.

: 1060

00:51:31,020 --> 00:51:31,580

it was fun.

: 1061

00:51:31,600 --> 00:51:32,230

I ne- hadn't

: 1062

00:51:32,230 --> 00:51:33,000

seen that before

: 1063

00:51:33,074 --> 00:51:33,504

Beck: things.

: 1064

00:51:33,524 --> 00:51:35,440

Yeah, I overthink things too, so

: 1065

00:51:35,794 --> 00:51:36,724

Dash: That's relatable though.

: 1066

00:51:37,054 --> 00:51:38,704

All right, so social media.

: 1067

00:51:38,754 --> 00:51:48,114

What, your favorite memes or stories or

pages or things you learned, unexpected

: 1068

00:51:48,114 --> 00:51:50,194

stuff, anything about social media,

: 1069

00:51:50,708 --> 00:51:50,808

Beck: okay.

: 1070

00:51:51,192 --> 00:51:55,652

well, I did a academic project on

social media on a, uh, a page called

: 1071

00:51:55,892 --> 00:51:57,972

You Might Be From Portsmouth, Ohio If,

: 1072

00:51:58,582 --> 00:52:00,552

And as a site of public memory.

: 1073

00:52:00,602 --> 00:52:03,662

It's one of the YouTube videos that I

have on my channel, and I watched it

: 1074

00:52:03,662 --> 00:52:05,142

the other day, and it was pretty good.

: 1075

00:52:05,382 --> 00:52:08,322

I had forgotten how much work I

put into that particular project.

: 1076

00:52:08,612 --> 00:52:12,062

But it was neat to see Facebook used

as a site of serious academic work

: 1077

00:52:12,242 --> 00:52:12,892

Dash: Oh, yeah.

: 1078

00:52:13,002 --> 00:52:17,412

I think I told you about that ethnography

I did of the zombie survivalist

: 1079

00:52:17,722 --> 00:52:20,716

groups, I can see why people get

hooked on that kind of research.

: 1080

00:52:20,726 --> 00:52:25,016

Ethnography is fun, especially

like im- immersive ethnography

: 1081

00:52:25,624 --> 00:52:25,634

Beck: Yehaw

: 1082

00:52:26,634 --> 00:52:29,494

I learned all about that in

my anthropology, uh, thematic

: 1083

00:52:29,504 --> 00:52:30,804

sequence as an undergrad

: 1084

00:52:31,345 --> 00:52:35,035

Dash: I didn't learn anything about

research until my, uh, until grad school.

: 1085

00:52:35,045 --> 00:52:38,685

We just, I did, they did, we

did not do that kind of research

: 1086

00:52:38,838 --> 00:52:41,518

Beck: We had this assignment, we had

to pick somebody from the community

: 1087

00:52:41,518 --> 00:52:42,918

and write a project on them.

: 1088

00:52:42,928 --> 00:52:44,938

Like, it had to be,

like, a 40-page project.

: 1089

00:52:45,368 --> 00:52:48,718

So I did all this work

on my, uh, my landlord.

: 1090

00:52:48,828 --> 00:52:52,438

He was this guy who, he was the

last person to play both first

: 1091

00:52:52,438 --> 00:52:55,668

string for the basketball team and

the football team for Ohio State.

: 1092

00:52:56,008 --> 00:52:57,398

He was on both in the '50s.

: 1093

00:52:58,008 --> 00:53:00,148

And so I wrote this whole thing about him.

: 1094

00:53:00,358 --> 00:53:03,998

I had to actually write two papers because

there was the paper that I gave him, and

: 1095

00:53:03,998 --> 00:53:06,388

then there was the paper where I wrote

about what a piece of shit he was for

: 1096

00:53:06,388 --> 00:53:07,948

the community at the same time, right?

: 1097

00:53:07,968 --> 00:53:09,768

'Cause he bought up everything

and was a slum lord.

: 1098

00:53:10,278 --> 00:53:12,648

And so I did all this work, and I put…

: 1099

00:53:12,648 --> 00:53:17,588

I did transcription, and I did hours

of typing, and I did interviews and all

: 1100

00:53:17,588 --> 00:53:21,458

this, and all that came back he said if we

wanted our projects back to let him know.

: 1101

00:53:21,458 --> 00:53:23,718

And I was like, "Yeah, I want it

back for the feedback," you know?

: 1102

00:53:24,088 --> 00:53:27,498

And he changed, he had one word

suggestion and gave me an A, and that

: 1103

00:53:27,498 --> 00:53:29,698

was all he did on my 40-page project.

: 1104

00:53:30,509 --> 00:53:31,189

I was bitter.

: 1105

00:53:31,689 --> 00:53:32,439

Bitter

: 1106

00:53:33,799 --> 00:53:35,829

Dash: That's fucked up, man

: 1107

00:53:35,943 --> 00:53:36,253

Beck: Yeah.

: 1108

00:53:36,543 --> 00:53:39,163

He ended up getting fired

from, uh, from Miami, so ha

: 1109

00:53:39,453 --> 00:53:40,513

Dash: Oh, right.

: 1110

00:53:41,513 --> 00:53:41,803

Yeah,

: 1111

00:53:42,485 --> 00:53:43,755

Beck: It's, it's common knowledge.

: 1112

00:53:44,005 --> 00:53:44,315

Dr.

: 1113

00:53:44,315 --> 00:53:46,165

Cinnamon was an Africanist and Dr.,

: 1114

00:53:46,205 --> 00:53:48,525

uh, Gladish was a botanist, and Dr.

: 1115

00:53:48,525 --> 00:53:53,745

Cinnamon went to, uh, Africa on a research

study and he brought some plants back,

: 1116

00:53:53,745 --> 00:53:55,545

and one of them was psychoactive, and Dr.

: 1117

00:53:55,545 --> 00:53:59,659

Gladish knew it, and grew it in the

greenhouse anyway that's there on campus.

: 1118

00:54:00,009 --> 00:54:03,679

And it got turned in, and they both got

fired, and they were my least, my two

: 1119

00:54:03,789 --> 00:54:06,149

least favorite professors ever at Miami.

: 1120

00:54:06,599 --> 00:54:06,869

Dr.

: 1121

00:54:06,869 --> 00:54:08,599

Gladish is the only one

that ever made me cry

: 1122

00:54:09,191 --> 00:54:09,701

Dash: Oh.

: 1123

00:54:10,201 --> 00:54:11,011

Beck: He was the worst.

: 1124

00:54:11,051 --> 00:54:15,531

Like, as somebody who is a professional

educator now, he was the worst.

: 1125

00:54:15,781 --> 00:54:19,191

Like, he would teach you A, B, and

C, and then test you on E, D, and F.

: 1126

00:54:19,531 --> 00:54:19,911

You know?

: 1127

00:54:19,911 --> 00:54:23,211

Like, th- there just was no

correlation to what he would do.

: 1128

00:54:23,481 --> 00:54:27,241

His big mistake was he gave us access

to all of his files on Canvas, and

: 1129

00:54:27,241 --> 00:54:30,071

he, I don't think he realized he had

a copy of all of his exams and quizzes

: 1130

00:54:30,071 --> 00:54:31,071

if you dug hard enough.

: 1131

00:54:32,395 --> 00:54:34,055

So I ended up getting an A in that class.

: 1132

00:54:36,588 --> 00:54:39,178

He said we could access

his files, so I did.

: 1133

00:54:39,178 --> 00:54:40,708

I just didn't tell him what was in there.

: 1134

00:54:40,928 --> 00:54:43,378

That was his dumb ass for not

knowing what was in there, you know?

: 1135

00:54:44,334 --> 00:54:47,724

Dash: I mean, you know, y- you

found the resource and you used it

: 1136

00:54:48,724 --> 00:54:51,644

Beck: I bet he wondered how I was doing

so well in his class 'cause everybody…

: 1137

00:54:51,694 --> 00:54:53,984

That was one of those classes

that 80% of the class fails and

: 1138

00:54:53,984 --> 00:54:57,174

everybody else gets a C, and I'm

sit- sitting there getting an A.

: 1139

00:54:57,224 --> 00:54:57,514

I'm sure

: 1140

00:54:57,514 --> 00:54:58,214

I drove him crazy.

: 1141

00:54:58,356 --> 00:54:59,266

Dash: one that found them?

: 1142

00:54:59,674 --> 00:55:01,134

Beck: Yeah, well, I sha-

I shared it with Shana.

: 1143

00:55:01,494 --> 00:55:04,264

So cause we took botany

together as undergrads.

: 1144

00:55:04,790 --> 00:55:07,370

I saved it to my very last set of

classes that I had to take 'cause

: 1145

00:55:07,370 --> 00:55:08,960

I'm not a science person at all,

: 1146

00:55:09,648 --> 00:55:10,818

Dash: I didn't take botany

: 1147

00:55:11,360 --> 00:55:14,440

Beck: Well, you could take, like,

botany or you take biology or, you know.

: 1148

00:55:14,700 --> 00:55:17,850

So I took botany and geology for

the science classes that I took.

: 1149

00:55:17,900 --> 00:55:20,440

I didn't wanna take, like,

human biology or anything like

: 1150

00:55:20,734 --> 00:55:25,604

Dash: I I mean, I took a lot of science

courses because I think I said, like,

: 1151

00:55:25,604 --> 00:55:30,314

I accidentally minored in biology,

but I just kept taking bio classes.

: 1152

00:55:30,424 --> 00:55:34,284

I did take geology because you

have to take more than just bio

: 1153

00:55:34,284 --> 00:55:35,964

to, for the gen ed requirement.

: 1154

00:55:36,964 --> 00:55:40,204

So I took economic plants,

but it wasn't about botany.

: 1155

00:55:40,234 --> 00:55:41,204

It was about…

: 1156

00:55:41,484 --> 00:55:44,904

It was actually a really interesting

course about how agriculture

: 1157

00:55:44,904 --> 00:55:47,524

creates society and such.

: 1158

00:55:48,146 --> 00:55:52,526

Weird dude teaching the course, but the

first day he wheels in this cart full

: 1159

00:55:52,526 --> 00:55:56,846

of essential oils, which are just oils

expressed from various plants, we just

: 1160

00:55:56,856 --> 00:55:58,476

spent the whole class smelling stuff

: 1161

00:56:00,161 --> 00:56:02,611

Beck: In my botany class,

uh, the professor was a

: 1162

00:56:02,671 --> 00:56:05,051

adjunct and so she didn't…

: 1163

00:56:05,351 --> 00:56:05,831

I don't know.

: 1164

00:56:06,091 --> 00:56:08,511

She was, she tried real

hard, I'll give her that.

: 1165

00:56:08,866 --> 00:56:09,926

It was not a great class.

: 1166

00:56:09,926 --> 00:56:10,876

It felt very high school.

: 1167

00:56:10,876 --> 00:56:12,996

She ended up quitting and going

to teach high school anyway.

: 1168

00:56:13,276 --> 00:56:16,856

But we had this one demonstration where

she went to Jungle Jim's and got, like,

: 1169

00:56:16,866 --> 00:56:21,126

30 different kinds of fruit we had never

tried, including durian fruit, and we

: 1170

00:56:21,126 --> 00:56:23,176

got to try a- all kinds of little things.

: 1171

00:56:23,741 --> 00:56:24,731

Dash: Tried durian?

: 1172

00:56:25,009 --> 00:56:25,659

Beck: I have.

: 1173

00:56:25,881 --> 00:56:26,521

Dash: Oh my God.

: 1174

00:56:26,871 --> 00:56:27,321

Yeah.

: 1175

00:56:27,641 --> 00:56:31,731

That's the one that you're not allowed

to take to like the airport or eaten in

: 1176

00:56:31,731 --> 00:56:33,541

certain places because it smells so bad

: 1177

00:56:33,999 --> 00:56:35,719

Beck: Yeah, you can buy

it at Uncle Jim's though.

: 1178

00:56:35,895 --> 00:56:37,025

Dash: What does it smell like?

: 1179

00:56:37,519 --> 00:56:40,609

Beck: Uh, gasoline and

vomit mixed together

: 1180

00:56:41,923 --> 00:56:42,623

Dash: So is Sheets.

: 1181

00:56:43,423 --> 00:56:44,803

Beck: Y- basically, yeah.

: 1182

00:56:47,445 --> 00:56:49,295

Like it, it was foul.

: 1183

00:56:49,325 --> 00:56:50,165

Like totally foul

: 1184

00:56:51,165 --> 00:56:52,545

Dash: Oh, well, now I know.

: 1185

00:56:52,545 --> 00:56:54,475

I don't have to experience myself then.

: 1186

00:56:55,352 --> 00:56:55,852

You what?

: 1187

00:56:56,448 --> 00:56:57,288

Beck: I've pet a sloth

: 1188

00:56:58,004 --> 00:56:58,724

Dash: Cool

: 1189

00:56:59,117 --> 00:57:01,987

Beck: One of the weddings that

I did in Cincinnati, the girl

: 1190

00:57:01,997 --> 00:57:04,807

worked at the Cincinnati Zoo,

and she had her reception there.

: 1191

00:57:05,287 --> 00:57:08,897

Uh, she had her wedding in

this gorgeous Catholic church.

: 1192

00:57:08,927 --> 00:57:11,477

Like, it was the most beautiful

temple I've ever been in.

: 1193

00:57:11,947 --> 00:57:16,537

And then she had a reception at the zoo,

and because she was a zookeeper they

: 1194

00:57:16,537 --> 00:57:18,137

brought a whole parade full of animals.

: 1195

00:57:18,137 --> 00:57:19,237

They had penguins.

: 1196

00:57:19,237 --> 00:57:20,317

There were, uh…

: 1197

00:57:20,987 --> 00:57:21,757

Oh, what are they called?

: 1198

00:57:21,807 --> 00:57:22,917

O- ostriches.

: 1199

00:57:22,977 --> 00:57:23,807

Uh, not ostriches.

: 1200

00:57:23,817 --> 00:57:24,347

Flamingos.

: 1201

00:57:24,347 --> 00:57:25,397

That's what I was trying to come up with.

: 1202

00:57:25,657 --> 00:57:30,127

And a sloth and a monitor lizard

and all kinds of interesting stuff.

: 1203

00:57:30,137 --> 00:57:30,417

But I like…

: 1204

00:57:30,447 --> 00:57:30,727

Got to…

: 1205

00:57:30,737 --> 00:57:32,717

The petting the sloth

was my favorite part.

: 1206

00:57:33,339 --> 00:57:34,109

Dash: Are they soft?

: 1207

00:57:34,707 --> 00:57:35,057

Beck: Yes.

: 1208

00:57:35,067 --> 00:57:36,457

Well, they're kinda wiry, like,

: 1209

00:57:36,841 --> 00:57:38,001

Dash: They look kinda wiry.

: 1210

00:57:38,317 --> 00:57:39,637

Beck: yeah, kinda like a chihuahua.

: 1211

00:57:39,677 --> 00:57:39,997

You know what I

: 1212

00:57:40,021 --> 00:57:40,901

Dash: Yeah, right

: 1213

00:57:41,017 --> 00:57:41,307

Beck: yeah.

: 1214

00:57:42,027 --> 00:57:45,567

Dash: I used to want to pet a koala until

I learned that they all have chlamydia.

: 1215

00:57:46,025 --> 00:57:46,335

Beck: Yeah.

: 1216

00:57:48,172 --> 00:57:49,012

Dash: Now I'm good.

: 1217

00:57:49,040 --> 00:57:49,520

Beck: That'll do.

: 1218

00:57:49,760 --> 00:57:50,480

That'll do it.

: 1219

00:57:50,550 --> 00:57:51,000

That'll do it

: 1220

00:57:51,723 --> 00:57:54,135

Dash: They're debaucherous, like…

: 1221

00:57:56,660 --> 00:57:59,950

Beck: When the pandemic came around

we started look- watching YouTubers

: 1222

00:57:59,960 --> 00:58:03,780

that smoked weed a lot 'cause it was

just, you know, it was interesting.

: 1223

00:58:04,040 --> 00:58:04,800

And there are a couple of…

: 1224

00:58:04,820 --> 00:58:06,600

There's lots of weedtubers out there.

: 1225

00:58:06,830 --> 00:58:10,850

But one of the most popular is this girl

called Koala Puffs, and I think about

: 1226

00:58:10,850 --> 00:58:13,290

that sometimes when we see her material.

: 1227

00:58:13,290 --> 00:58:15,960

I w- I wonder if she doesn't know that

: 1228

00:58:16,749 --> 00:58:17,449

Dash: Maybe not.

: 1229

00:58:18,283 --> 00:58:23,013

the first, like, what we would

consider content creator I ever

: 1230

00:58:23,273 --> 00:58:25,913

was aware of was Jenna Marbles.

: 1231

00:58:26,456 --> 00:58:29,206

that is millennial humor

right there, Jenna Marbles.

: 1232

00:58:29,216 --> 00:58:32,056

And she still w- has a lot of fans,

I know they're out there, so please

: 1233

00:58:32,056 --> 00:58:34,126

don't hate us for me saying that.

: 1234

00:58:34,146 --> 00:58:36,516

Like, you, you have to agree,

that is millennial humor.

: 1235

00:58:36,746 --> 00:58:40,476

And I'm, I appreciate millennial

humor, but I also can see why she's

: 1236

00:58:40,486 --> 00:58:45,516

not making content anymore, 'cause

these fucking young ones are…

: 1237

00:58:45,956 --> 00:58:47,316

All they do is drama.

: 1238

00:58:47,366 --> 00:58:52,296

The, there's a whole genre of

content on YouTube that is drama.

: 1239

00:58:52,296 --> 00:58:54,386

They call themselves drama tubers.

: 1240

00:58:54,916 --> 00:58:56,456

Can you imagine if that was your job?

: 1241

00:58:56,583 --> 00:58:57,833

What are these kids made of?

: 1242

00:58:58,033 --> 00:58:58,713

Beck: I cannot.

: 1243

00:58:58,782 --> 00:58:59,322

And I teach

: 1244

00:58:59,322 --> 00:59:00,242

college freshmen.

: 1245

00:59:01,951 --> 00:59:03,321

Dash: Oh I sh- I know

something I should've…

: 1246

00:59:03,461 --> 00:59:06,171

I'm just gonna send you this because

it's too long to put on the show,

: 1247

00:59:06,461 --> 00:59:10,151

but there's a YouTube video that,

uh, also makes me laugh a lot.

: 1248

00:59:10,151 --> 00:59:12,231

We're gonna remember a bunch of

shit that we should've put on here.

: 1249

00:59:12,973 --> 00:59:13,156

Beck: Yehaw

: 1250

00:59:13,156 --> 00:59:15,416

Dash: listeners, tell us

your favorite YouTube video,

: 1251

00:59:16,402 --> 00:59:17,642

Beck: of listener requested YouTube

: 1252

00:59:17,642 --> 00:59:18,062

videos

: 1253

00:59:18,120 --> 00:59:18,870

Dash: would love that.

: 1254

00:59:18,900 --> 00:59:19,560

I would love…

: 1255

00:59:19,770 --> 00:59:21,020

Send us your stuff in.

: 1256

00:59:21,020 --> 00:59:25,070

If we get enough we will

react to your YouTube videos.

: 1257

00:59:25,100 --> 00:59:29,180

We'll- we could even go live and do

that, react to YouTube videos on YouTube.

: 1258

00:59:29,435 --> 00:59:30,465

Beck: I would, that'd be great

: 1259

00:59:30,693 --> 00:59:31,763

Dash: That would be real fun.

: 1260

00:59:32,063 --> 00:59:34,053

Beck: mailbag@queernecks.com

: 1261

00:59:34,423 --> 00:59:35,073

Dash: correct

: 1262

00:59:35,101 --> 00:59:37,701

Beck: comment on any of our podcasts

wherever you get your podcasts

: 1263

00:59:37,909 --> 00:59:40,249

Dash: Yep, you can comment on

YouTube if you listen there.

: 1264

00:59:40,249 --> 00:59:41,379

You can comment on Spotify.

: 1265

00:59:41,379 --> 00:59:43,169

I don't know if you can comment on Apple.

: 1266

00:59:43,689 --> 00:59:46,839

And if you haven't, we haven't asked

this in a while subscribe if you're

: 1267

00:59:46,839 --> 00:59:52,189

listening to us, and leave us a

five-star review wherever you listen.

: 1268

00:59:52,289 --> 00:59:56,259

That helps us out, helps us,

helps other people find us.

: 1269

00:59:56,289 --> 00:59:57,729

You know, we're a weird bunch.

: 1270

00:59:57,789 --> 01:00:02,475

We don't come up organically for

for a lot of people's algorithms.

: 1271

01:00:02,885 --> 01:00:03,895

We're a hard sell.

: 1272

01:00:03,897 --> 01:00:05,097

Beck: searching queer Appalachia?

: 1273

01:00:05,125 --> 01:00:05,345

Dash: Yeah.

: 1274

01:00:06,934 --> 01:00:08,164

Yeah, it doesn't come up.

: 1275

01:00:08,684 --> 01:00:11,064

Uh, I haven't quite yet

cracked the keyword puzzle

: 1276

01:00:11,074 --> 01:00:13,554

for whatever it is we do here.

: 1277

01:00:13,904 --> 01:00:17,574

So any help y'all can give, if

you think somebody will find us

: 1278

01:00:17,574 --> 01:00:18,995

funny, Send the link to them.

: 1279

01:00:19,622 --> 01:00:20,502

have a good week.

: 1280

01:00:20,532 --> 01:00:24,302

Pride Month may be coming to an end,

but we love you and we're proud of

: 1281

01:00:24,302 --> 01:00:26,052

you anyway, and we'll stay that way.

: 1282

01:00:27,168 --> 01:00:29,168

so be good and say hi to your mom and them

: 1283

01:00:29,492 --> 01:00:29,972

Beck: Bye